Aside from making pretty much everything we use and wear, the Chinese also have a bold means of telling off parking violators: by dressing up as the star of the Tomb Raider, Lara Croft.

The above, courtesy of Kotaku, is an example of what bored college students ]]>

Aside from making pretty much everything we use and wear, the Chinese also have a bold means of telling off parking violators: by dressing up as the star of the Tomb Raider, Lara Croft.

The above, courtesy of Kotaku, is an example of what bored college students do for fun over there, apparently: they don Lara Croft garb and shoot illegally parked drivers with guns that contain suction cup bullets as ammo, handing out warnings. Why? Why not?

Just fire up this video, and listen to this car start. It’s at the 27 second mark. Then we’ll talk.

Before you ask, yes, you can buy this car: it’s available for $16,000 on eBay. And yes, this is absolutely street legal; you can drive it ]]>

Just fire up this video, and listen to this car start. It’s at the 27 second mark. Then we’ll talk.

Before you ask, yes, you can buy this car: it’s available for $16,000 on eBay. And yes, this is absolutely street legal; you can drive it just like a normal car.

There are, however, a few drawbacks.

The car was built by Seth Kettleman out of a 1983 Datsun 280ZX and a turboshaft he had lying around: Kettleman is a used aircraft parts dealer. Technically it’s powered by a turboshaft, but who cares? It sounds like you’re flying a freaking jet.

On the other hand, while it does accept a wide variety of fuels, it also burns twenty gallons of fuel an hour (you did not misread that). It also doesn’t come with a heater, an air conditioning unit, or a radio, so you’ll have to provide your own iPod and speakers to blast “Highway to the Danger Zone” while driving this car. Also, it doesn’t go at jet speed: there’s only 200 horsepower from that engine.

Kettleman mostly built it for fun and as a proof of concept, but we’re really hoping he figures out a way to A) refine it and B) make more of them. We need to drive this for a commute.

“Jet-Powered” Datsun [Gizmag]

Auto manufacturers love integrating your smartphone with your car. It means that they no longer need to manufacture one of those key fobs for you, and it also gives them a chance to show off their car’s “digital connectivity,” by which we mean it can send a message to a ]]>

Auto manufacturers love integrating your smartphone with your car. It means that they no longer need to manufacture one of those key fobs for you, and it also gives them a chance to show off their car’s “digital connectivity,” by which we mean it can send a message to a cell phone, which is less impressive when you realize anybody with access to Radio Shack can do the same thing.

Nonetheless, car apps have gotten slicker. But none slicker than Hyundai’s app for the Veloster and Sonata models with Blue Link.

The app does the basic tricks we all know about: lock and unlock, remote start, honk the horn. More impressive, though, are the deeper functions.

For example, you can use the app to run a diagnostic on your car, so if you’re broken down on the side of the road, you’ll have a better idea of what’s happening. There’s a car finder for locating your car at the mall. And, most impressively, you can note down points of interest and send them to your car, so, for example, you can hit a restaurant for lunch on a road trip without having to squint at signs.

It’s not for all cars, of course, and you’ll need Blue Link, but still, it’s impressive how useful this app is.

Updated Hyundai App Brings Remote Control To Your Car [Engadget]

Ford may be doing well on the market, but they’re not going to start dumping their cash reserves into making body panels tomorrow. Instead, they’ll be dumping somebody else’s cash reserves into making car parts, possibly quite soon. And that’s actually a good thing.

It’s like this: ]]>

Ford may be doing well on the market, but they’re not going to start dumping their cash reserves into making body panels tomorrow. Instead, they’ll be dumping somebody else’s cash reserves into making car parts, possibly quite soon. And that’s actually a good thing.

It’s like this: every day, the United States government destroys ten thousand pounds or more of old bills. It’s currency that just simply is too old, too torn, too wrinkled, or otherwise no longer useful. So Ford’s idea is pretty simple: take all that paper being pulped and use it in their cars.

Ironically, making car parts out of old money is cheap: after all, there are only so many plastic tubes full of shredded money the government can move to tourists in a given year.

However, your alternator won’t be made out of old Benjamins: it’ll be minor plastic parts like trays and bins. But, hey, the day isn’t so far away when you’ll be able to claim Ford sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars into your cupholder, and it’ll be literally true.

Ford considers recycling retired paper money [Gizmag]

The general trend for engines in cars over the years has been fewer cylinders and fewer horses. This doesn’t necessarily mean less power: for example, the Lotus Elise has always had a four-cylinder engine, but it’s a speed demon due to the lightness of the frame and the aerodynamic design. ]]>

The general trend for engines in cars over the years has been fewer cylinders and fewer horses. This doesn’t necessarily mean less power: for example, the Lotus Elise has always had a four-cylinder engine, but it’s a speed demon due to the lightness of the frame and the aerodynamic design. Your average minivan, on the other hand, isn’t.

Either way, the V8 has become an increasingly endangered species. Ford, thankfully, still wants us to remember when cars had sheer power under the hood, with the Shelby’s ridiculous new engine: 662 horsepower.

The exact specs? It’s a 5.8 liter engine with four valves per cylinder. Surprisingly, Ford didn’t go with direct fuel injection on this beast, possibly because to do so might actually be dangerous: this thing does have a ridiculous supercharger on it on top of everything else.

Just how powerful does this make the new Shelby GT500? It’s got more under the hood than the latest Ferrari. In fact, it’s the most powerful V8 engine ever put into production. Ford hasn’t published any final specs yet, but they’re confident this will go over 200 mph. We’d be more surprised if it didn’t.

Now to put this engine in the body of an Elise…

New Shelby GTS Boasts Most Powerful Production V8 [CNet]

Self-driving cars sound cool, but they can have some drawbacks. Like, if you get in a collision, and the car’s driving, are you still liable for the damage? Also, when robots inevitably achieve self-awareness, will the robot car kill you by crashing, or just lock you in and let you ]]>

Self-driving cars sound cool, but they can have some drawbacks. Like, if you get in a collision, and the car’s driving, are you still liable for the damage? Also, when robots inevitably achieve self-awareness, will the robot car kill you by crashing, or just lock you in and let you dehydrate to death?

Either way, Google has spent years and millions developing self-driving cars. And, in fact, their self-driving cars are pretty good. But it doesn’t want to get into the car manufacturing business, which is why it’s trying to pitch itself to Detroit.

The problem is this: Google’s hardware needs more testing. They’ve already taken it nearly 150,000 miles, but it needs to be tested in more conditions and in more states to make sure everything is up to snuff.

Don’t expect to be pulling a Michael Knight behind KITT’s wheel any time soon: the self-driving setup requires lots of expensive sensors, like LIDAR range finders. But, sooner rather than later, expect your city to have self-driving buses. All we ask is that they have missile launchers to take out that jerk who parks in the bus stop, forcing a little old lady to walk into the street to get on the bus. Or maybe you could weld iron spikes to the front, and the bus could just crash into it! OK, so it’ll inevitably backfire on humanity, but watching a robot bus destroy some douche’s Porsche would be hilarious.

Google Pitches Self-Driving Cars [Wall Street Journal]

There are a lot of things you can say about Chinese automakers. They’re actually kind of adorable; they want to compete, so much, with the big boys, but just lack the technical know-how and wherewithal to actually do it. For example, the Chery Amulet, a modern sedan without all those ]]>

There are a lot of things you can say about Chinese automakers. They’re actually kind of adorable; they want to compete, so much, with the big boys, but just lack the technical know-how and wherewithal to actually do it. For example, the Chery Amulet, a modern sedan without all those pesky safety features, meaning it crumples like a beer can in collisions.

Or BYD, and their F3 Plus. It’s got a remote control! So you can drive your car…without being in your car! There’s no way that could end badly!

To be fair, it’s unlikely you’ll see the F3 Plus on American shores any time soon: Chinese cars haven’t caught on here because really, if we want a cheap crappy car that will probably kill us, we can just go buy a used Kia.

But that isn’t stopping BYD from showing off their pride and joy at the New York Auto Show, no doubt believing that this will deeply impress lazy Americans. And, well, they’re right. It is impressive.

We’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop, since they also don’t understand the concept of “class-action lawsuit” in China.

BYD Introduces Remote Key [Engadget]

We’re not one to bag on Lamborghini because they make beautiful supercars. But, well, first of all, who would buy a Lamborghini SUV? Somebody who wants to look totally bitchin’ while they haul the kids to ballet?

Secondly, it’s…it’s…damn, it’s ugly.

This needs a little backstory. Luxury ]]>

We’re not one to bag on Lamborghini because they make beautiful supercars. But, well, first of all, who would buy a Lamborghini SUV? Somebody who wants to look totally bitchin’ while they haul the kids to ballet?

Secondly, it’s…it’s…damn, it’s ugly.

This needs a little backstory. Luxury automakers have, through the years, realized that selling insanely fast cars to rich people is not necessarily a stable growth industry. The problem is, they spend so much time and money on their cars that once they try to make something that appeals to anybody else, they usually wind up with something hideous.

Take a look at Ferrari’s idea of a station wagon. Believe me, there’s worse.

Lately, though, luxury automakers have been seeing some success with SUV designs. Porsche has the Cayenne, for example, which “The League” made Andre’s car of choice in the second season (and for excellent reason).

The problem is that the Urus, which thankfully is only a concept, basically looks like a jacked-up Lamborghini station wagon. Granted, it’s powerful: this is Lamborghini, it’s got a 600 horsepower engine. And the design is fairly nice for what it is: it’s five feet tall, but the wheels are 24 inches, so it’s fairly sleek as SUVs go.

Still, something about this is just…wrong, somehow. It’s great there’s an SUV with an insane engine, but that engine is probably going to go to waste. You don’t have to go to the Dark Side, Lamborghini! It’s not too late!

Lamborghini Urus Concept Car [CNet]

The Dodge Viper never quite got its due as a muscle car, possibly due to the ridiculous TV show that somehow stayed on the air for four seasons. That and it doesn’t have the history and pedigree of a Mustang or a Charger: everybody knows you can’t be a true ]]>

The Dodge Viper never quite got its due as a muscle car, possibly due to the ridiculous TV show that somehow stayed on the air for four seasons. That and it doesn’t have the history and pedigree of a Mustang or a Charger: everybody knows you can’t be a true muscle car unless you’re in an awesome car movie from the ’60s or ’70s.

That said, the newly christened SRT Viper is a car pretty much designed to drool over.

The engine is, of course, classic Viper: an eight-liter V10, not unlike the engine you get in a truck, and the torque on this thing is insane: 600 ft-lbs, to be exact, with 640 horsepower. And it’s got a lot of the classic Viper form as well: cockpit towards the back, a ridiculously long front, and those side-mounted exhausts.

But beyond that, it’s actually very different. The original Viper was basically designed to go one direction really, really fast and screw you if you wanted to make a turn. This version has tightened up the chassis quite a bit, with a lot of structural improvements. The suspension is better. The turning has improved to the point where you could actually race this car on something other than a quarter-mile drag.

We’ll see just how well it performs at Le Mans, but this is a major overhaul and a beauty of a muscle car.

Monstrous new SRT Viper at New York Motor Show [Gizmag]

Say you’re filthy rich with money to burn, what’s the first thing you start buying? Expensive, rare, beautiful cars. But where to keep them? Obviously, you build a two-story, six-million dollar toy box.

It’s a boring subject most of the time, but one that’s become a little urgent of late: gas. Specifically, getting the most out of your car, and figuring out when something is going wrong and starting to bleed you dry.

In order to figure that out, you ]]>

It’s a boring subject most of the time, but one that’s become a little urgent of late: gas. Specifically, getting the most out of your car, and figuring out when something is going wrong and starting to bleed you dry.

In order to figure that out, you need data and to track that data. Which is why you need an app like aCar: you can gather everything you need to know about your car’s gas in one place, and figure out exactly how hard Big Oil is sticking it to you.

It’s pretty straightforward: you tell the app what type of car you own, your total miles, and then start entering in your fill-ups. It’ll give you time and mileage based service reminders, like air filter changes, to help keep your car operating at maximum efficiency.

It’ll also back up your data on a regular basis, and if you’re really crazy, you can upgrade to Pro and export an Excel spreadsheet. Basically, if you’re a gas fiend, it’s the best app to keep track.

The nice part is that it supports multiple vehicles, so if you’ve got more than one car, you can manage it all.

Manage Your Vehicle with aCar [TalkAndroid]

One thing electric vehicle owners will tell you, somewhat defensively, is that most people drive way less than one hundred miles a day, so range is, like, totally not a problem unless you’re going to drive insane amounts of distance in a day, and who, like, does that anyway? Also ]]>

One thing electric vehicle owners will tell you, somewhat defensively, is that most people drive way less than one hundred miles a day, so range is, like, totally not a problem unless you’re going to drive insane amounts of distance in a day, and who, like, does that anyway? Also that the car is not ugly, it’s “futuristic.”

Which is code for “ugly.”

The Infiniti LE will not fix the range problems, but at least when your car dies on the side of the road, you’ll look good in it.

The key thing about the Infiniti LE is that it is not a dinky little two person car: it’s a full-fledged, manly sedan. Well, to the extent that a sedan can be manly. Point is, four people can fit in this thing without being contortionists.

It’s also got an impressive twin-screen display, showing useful information like maps and what’s on the radio.

So this is just a concept car, right? Nope. Infiniti has stated that this is a near-production model: they expect the LE to be on the market within two years.

Hey, Nissan, maybe apply some of these lessons to the Leaf.

Infiniti LE [Gizmag]

James Bond is a dude who knows how to rock a sweet ride. Over his twenty-five films, he’s driven some of the best cars ever made. And here they all are. This epic infographic runs down every vehicle that 007 has ever commandeered throughout the movies, as well as cars, ]]>

James Bond is a dude who knows how to rock a sweet ride. Over his twenty-five films, he’s driven some of the best cars ever made. And here they all are. This epic infographic runs down every vehicle that 007 has ever commandeered throughout the movies, as well as cars, planes and more driven by villains, and it delivers some pretty interesting insights. Bond’s Aston Martins are here in force, of course, but we also get tanks, hot air balloons and even a Chevy Caprice. It even has predictions for Skyfall, out in October of 2012.

img src=”http://guyism.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/bond-patch.jpg” alt=”" title=”James Bond Infographic” width=”640″ height=”938″ class=”aligncenter size-full wp-image-209776″ />

Infographic created by CarRentals.co.uk

When driving a tow truck, there are two major rules. One: Tow the car behind you. Two: Don’t drive the tow truck and the vehicle being towed off a cliff. This video from Norway shows a driver who fails miserably at rule two.

The accident resulted in just some broken ]]>

When driving a tow truck, there are two major rules. One: Tow the car behind you. Two: Don’t drive the tow truck and the vehicle being towed off a cliff. This video from Norway shows a driver who fails miserably at rule two.

The accident resulted in just some broken bones for the driver, who’s in stable condition in a nearby hospital.

It’s presumed the two trucks are currently in the wild being raised by wolves. They will learn the way of the noble animals and possibly befriend a friendly bear named Baloo who will inexplicably become a pilot for some reason. Could be worse.

A woman driver (*cough) allegedly got impatient at a Miami gas station so, she did what most a-holes would do: Cut someone off. Small problem: Her awfulness at driving led her to crash into the gas pump, leading to a huge explosion.

The women in the ]]>

A woman driver (*cough) allegedly got impatient at a Miami gas station so, she did what most a-holes would do: Cut someone off. Small problem: Her awfulness at driving led her to crash into the gas pump, leading to a huge explosion.

The women in the guilty jeep attempted to flee the scene before they were wrangled by police.

Fortunately, no one was injured. You can see the full surveillance video here.

This is a real up and down day for people who enjoy stereotypes. Yes, there’s a crappy female driver. But there’s also a guy in a yellow Hummer who’s…*gasp* a victim? Maybe all of those Mitt Romney speeches about the economy actually do make sense.

Inconsiderate Gas Station Line-Cutting Woman Causes Huge Explosion [Gizmodo]

“Some men just want to watch the world burn.” A great, if not overused, quote from The Dark Knight and also applicable to this ridiculous photoset of Lambourghinis that were destroyed in car crashes.

If there’s one thing that Asian automakers love to do, it’s tease us with hybrid sports cars. Toyota debuted the absolutely bad-ass FT-HS a little while back, arguing that you can make a sports car that sips gas. And this supposedly pulled it off, ]]>

If there’s one thing that Asian automakers love to do, it’s tease us with hybrid sports cars. Toyota debuted the absolutely bad-ass FT-HS a little while back, arguing that you can make a sports car that sips gas. And this supposedly pulled it off, with a 3.5 liter V6 hybrid engine. Everybody got all excited because the Toyota Supra is still beloved by a lot of people, but so far, we’ve seen jack and all out of Toyota in terms of actually putting out a product.

And now we’ve got the Hyundai i-oniq to tease us. It’s bad enough the Japanese were taunting us, the Koreans need to get in on the action too?

The i-oniq looks pretty sexy, no doubt about it, but the interesting part is the hybrid engine design. It’s a primarily electric car, but it has a small 106 hp gasoline engine to keep the car going if the battery craps out, meaning it’s got an effective range of about 400 miles while having an emission standard lower than even the Prius or the Chevy Volt.

Also, it doesn’t look like a freaking dorkmobile, which makes it just that much better. Please, Hyundai, make this car. We’d buy one. And you have to admit, even five years ago, it’s rare you’d hear that. Give the potential customers what they want!

Hyundai i-oniq to debut at Geneva [Ubergizmo]

I don’t know enough about cars to say why this Chevy Impala’s engine blew up during an oil change. But I know enough about people hilariously jumping away from explosions while eating snack foods to know that it’s entertaining to watch.

I feel kind of bad for the guy ]]>

I don’t know enough about cars to say why this Chevy Impala’s engine blew up during an oil change. But I know enough about people hilariously jumping away from explosions while eating snack foods to know that it’s entertaining to watch.

I feel kind of bad for the guy eating a bag of chips leisurely. He had nothing to do with the explosion but he looks like the bigger idiot for it. People with a love of salted snack foods deserve better treatment than that. They have rights, too. Rights covered in greasy fingerprints and a cloud of incompetence, but rights nonetheless.

Never change the oil in Michael Bay’s car [Boingboing]

Not everybody can afford a new, gas sipping vehicle. A lot of us are still stuck with a dinosaur from ten years ago: in fact, the average age of the American car has been creeping upwards since the ’60s and just hit a new ]]>

Not everybody can afford a new, gas sipping vehicle. A lot of us are still stuck with a dinosaur from ten years ago: in fact, the average age of the American car has been creeping upwards since the ’60s and just hit a new high of 10.8 this year.

So, if you’ve got an aging car, you’re paying at the pump. But if you’ve got a smartphone, you don’t have to: EcoSpeed can save you 30% on gas mileage.

How? Proper planning!

EcoSpeed uses two ideas. First, you run the app, and it tells you the optimum speed to maintain in order to save the most gas. If you’re prone to road rage, that might be hard to do, especially if you live in a city full of morons who can’t drive. Which is most cities, really; we really need to raise the standards for issuing a driver’s license as a nation.

Anyway, EcoSpeed also uses Google Maps to plan out a route that has the absolute minimum of stopping. Speeding up and slowing down burn way more gas than maintaining a steady speed, as you make more demands from the power plant. The route it picks might be longer, but you’ll stop less and thus, save fuel.

Yep, proper planning can keep your useless junker from completely draining your wallet. But it still won’t help you with the ladies.

Official Site [EcoSpeed]