I don’t want to beat up on Catholicism here since, honestly, there are enough places to do that credibly out there. But the Pope’s statements about it being okay to use condoms, followed by this silly statement today saying it’s only okay for prostitutes to use them but not for ]]>

I don’t want to beat up on Catholicism here since, honestly, there are enough places to do that credibly out there. But the Pope’s statements about it being okay to use condoms, followed by this silly statement today saying it’s only okay for prostitutes to use them but not for contraception, is just ridiculously inconsistent.

The Vatican on Tuesday clarified the pope’s controversial comments about condoms and HIV, saying he by no means suggested their use could be condoned as a means of avoiding an unwanted pregnancy.

“However, those involved in prostitution who are HIV positive and who seek to diminish the risk of contagion by the use of a condom may be taking the first step in respecting the life of another even if the evil of prostitution remains in all its gravity,” the statement said.

It stressed that his logic was “in full conformity with the moral theological tradition of the church.”

Vatican: Condoms OK, but not as contraceptive [MSNBC via Fark]

I guess when you have a kid, it’s your privilege to name the child whatever you want, no matter how terrible your decision-making is. We may want to reevaluate that one since this young man should never have been allowed to leave the hospital once the parents tried to fill ]]>

I guess when you have a kid, it’s your privilege to name the child whatever you want, no matter how terrible your decision-making is. We may want to reevaluate that one since this young man should never have been allowed to leave the hospital once the parents tried to fill out the birth certificate.

“Jesus Condom” sounds like a sexual reproduction product produced by the Catholic church. Which would be okay if it just had Jesus’s face smiling on it, perhaps with a thumbs up. But less so if it fell in line with the Catholic church’s ideals and instead was just the plastic ring without anything actually covering your junk. That Catholic church is not a big fan of wrapping it up or pulling out, which is much hotter when suggested by an attractive woman as opposed to a small Polish man in a big silly hat.

[Reddit]

The Pope is pretty much King of the Catholics, so he must know everything right? For example, his knowledge of how condoms actually cause more HIV than they do prevent it. Yes, you read that right.

Pope Benedict XVI said on his way to Africa Tuesday ]]>

The Pope is pretty much King of the Catholics, so he must know everything right? For example, his knowledge of how condoms actually cause more HIV than they do prevent it. Yes, you read that right.

Pope Benedict XVI said on his way to Africa Tuesday that condoms were not the answer in the continent’s fight against HIV, his first explicit statement on an issue that has divided even clergy working with AIDS patients.

Benedict had never directly addressed condom use. He has said that the Roman Catholic Church is in the forefront of the battle against AIDS. The Vatican encourages sexual abstinence to fight the spread of the disease.

“You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane headed to Yaounde, Cameroon, where he will begin a seven-day pilgrimage on the continent. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”

I don’t use condoms (why would you when there’s an abundance of coathangers and ways to disappear now?) so I can’t speak to the accuracy of his claims, but I’m pretty sure that the Pope’s data might be a bit inaccurate here. It seems to me that putting a layer of protective latex between yourself and an AIDS-ridden orifice would probably be better than just going “Jesus will save me” and crossing your fingers while you spray a load of disease and potential infants into your loved one.

I also don’t think that you want to go to the Pope for sex advice. I’d rather have Andrea Yates show me how to properly bathe my children.

[source]

The Catholic church is known for all kinds of crazy things. Well, even ideas that aren’t that crazy, I’m going to present as such. For example: The Vatican says there might be aliens.

Believing that the universe may contain alien life does not ]]>

The Catholic church is known for all kinds of crazy things. Well, even ideas that aren’t that crazy, I’m going to present as such. For example: The Vatican says there might be aliens.

Believing that the universe may contain alien life does not contradict a faith in God, the Vatican’s chief astronomer said in an interview published Tuesday.

The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, was quoted as saying the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.

“How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?” Funes said. “Just as we consider earthly creatures as ‘a brother,’ and ‘sister,’ why should we not talk about an ‘extraterrestrial brother’? It would still be part of creation.”

In the interview by the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano, Funes said that such a notion “doesn’t contradict our faith” because aliens would still be God’s creatures. Ruling out the existence of aliens would be like “putting limits” on God’s creative freedom, he said.

I guess it makes sense. This would open up many creative possibilities for the Catholic church. They have a relatively weak presence in certain less-civilized regions so, finally, a priest could f an ET and pretend it’s an Ethiopian boy. Everyone wins!

Xenu will not be pleased by the Catholics honing in on his turf. Would you cross a super badass extraterrestrial dictator who banished people to Earth? I sure wouldn’t. He’d probably hold his ray gun to your head and demand all kinds of favors. Earthly and galactic delights (i.e. space sodomy)? Now there’s a religious figure I can get behind.

The Pope is doing his big US tour this week, hitting up DC right now and NYC tomorrow through Sunday. So he’s commenting on all the hot button issues, like how kids’ hot buttons were manipulated.

Pope Benedict on Wednesday acknowledged the Church ]]>

The Pope is doing his big US tour this week, hitting up DC right now and NYC tomorrow through Sunday. So he’s commenting on all the hot button issues, like how kids’ hot buttons were manipulated.

Pope Benedict on Wednesday acknowledged the Church had handled the pedophile priests scandal “very badly” and told U.S. bishops to bind up wounds and seek reconciliation with those who were “so seriously wronged.”

For the second consecutive day, the pope said the scandal had caused “deep shame” and enormous pain as the result of priests betraying their vocation by sexually abusing minors with such “gravely immoral behavior.”

But he said the problem ran deeper, saying children should be “spared the degrading manifestations and the crude manipulation of sexuality so prevalent” in society today.

The title of the article is: Pope acknowledges sex abuse scandal “badly handled”. I like to pretend to be dyslexic, then outraged, so I read it as “Pope acknowledges bad abuse scandal “sexily handled”. Then I was like, “ARGH THAT POPE IS SO BRAZEN! HOW DARE HE!” Needless to say, I threw my Pope bobblehead down in disgust. And it bounced up and its mouth hit my groin. Give it a rest, Catholic church! My crotch is a no-fly zone for you!

But yeah, it’s pretty great how he blames society for some of the “degradations” of kids today. Yeah, it’s totally the fault of Myspace and camera phones and not because Father Flannagan played Bobbing for Communion Wafers. Never has the blood of Christ tasted quite as bleachy!