Meet Meow. The completely uncreatively-named cat is two years old and weights 39 pounds, over 25 pounds heavier than he should be for his age. He was turned over to animal control by his 87-year-old owner. Watch his struggle.

What kind of a shithead old person do ]]>

Meet Meow. The completely uncreatively-named cat is two years old and weights 39 pounds, over 25 pounds heavier than he should be for his age. He was turned over to animal control by his 87-year-old owner. Watch his struggle.

What kind of a shithead old person do you have to be to make your two-year-old cat three times the size he should be? He looks like a throw rug at this point. You couldn’t have cut down his portions a bit 20 pounds ago? I just wish the old woman had kept Meow long enough for him to eat her when she inevitably dies in the next month or so. If he’s going to be fat, there should at least be a Tales from the Crypt-ish ironic upside.

In this clip, a cat goes hard to a remix of David Guetta’s “Who’s That Chick.” It’s more entertaining than you’d think. But either way, Dubstep Cat cares not for your societal rules or judgments.

By the way, the original YouTube upload of this is titled ‘Cat ]]>

In this clip, a cat goes hard to a remix of David Guetta’s “Who’s That Chick.” It’s more entertaining than you’d think. But either way, Dubstep Cat cares not for your societal rules or judgments.

By the way, the original YouTube upload of this is titled ‘Cat After Party.’ If that’s the after party, I don’t want to see what this cat does for the main party. Litter box moshing and intravenous cat nip are probably just the tip of the iceberg.

Maybe you don’t love cats. Fair. But this video of a cat who makes perfectly clear when he wants to be petted is definitely admirable. Sure, he’s a little entitled and not understanding of the needs of the common cat. But he’s a leader. I don’t want to be ]]>

Maybe you don’t love cats. Fair. But this video of a cat who makes perfectly clear when he wants to be petted is definitely admirable. Sure, he’s a little entitled and not understanding of the needs of the common cat. But he’s a leader. I don’t want to be too presumptuous, but given recent struggles, could this be the next Republican candidate for President? Here’s to hoping.

Cat Taps Owner To Be Petted [Viral Viral Videos]

The instructions for ChatChat are pretty simple, and copied verbatim from its Web site: “Be a cat.”

So this recently popped up…

ChatChat, as noted already, is pretty simple: you’re a cat, and you get to interact with other people online, who are also cats. In ]]>

The instructions for ChatChat are pretty simple, and copied verbatim from its Web site: “Be a cat.”

So this recently popped up…

ChatChat, as noted already, is pretty simple: you’re a cat, and you get to interact with other people online, who are also cats. In many ways, it boils the internet as a whole down to its barest and most honest essentials.

The thing looks and feels pretty spartan, and it most certainly is. Though there are some basic actions; typing in the words “meow”, “purr”, “screech”, and “nap” will have your pixelated kitty cat self perform rather obvious actions. Just make sure to have “/” before each command.

You can also run around the environment, which is broken up into various rooms, including your front yard, the forest, a secret cave, and up a tree.

There’s a mouse to catch, plus the ability to turn into a dog temporarily, as part of the game’s take on tag. Otherwise, it’s just about sitting there, looking stupid, making cute noises, and/or sleeping. Just like the real things!

It can be played by following this link. Perfect for blowing a few minutes, here and there, at work, or an entire day if you’re unemployed!

BTW, the game is by Terry Cavanagh, an indie game developer who is mostly known for VVVVVV. And it’s premise is pretty simple as well: get to the other side, and don’t die…

VVVVVV is available for PC, Mac, and even Linux. Plus it recently came out for the 3DS as well.

Instead of dudes running around the woods, acting like they’re in Skyrim, it’s dudes roaming the halls of a convenience store. And it’s absolutely brilliant.

For starters, it’s flawlessly executed, mostly on the production side of things. Plus the stars of the show are actually likable, which you can’t say ]]>

Instead of dudes running around the woods, acting like they’re in Skyrim, it’s dudes roaming the halls of a convenience store. And it’s absolutely brilliant.

For starters, it’s flawlessly executed, mostly on the production side of things. Plus the stars of the show are actually likable, which you can’t say for about 90% of these kinds of things. But the kicker is how everything (and I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not) feels like some weird, almost nightmarish combination of Skyrim, Clerks, and Twin Peaks, all rolled into one…

And here’s the recently released part two…

This is by far the best game related series that YouTube has going, without question. Good job GroBroPros!

This is a cat playing Fruit Ninja on an iPad. It’s pretty self-explanatory but, still, it’s a cat playing a video game as well as most humans can. That has to count for something, right?

I once downloaded a game designed for cats on the iPad (I believe cleverly ]]>

This is a cat playing Fruit Ninja on an iPad. It’s pretty self-explanatory but, still, it’s a cat playing a video game as well as most humans can. That has to count for something, right?

I once downloaded a game designed for cats on the iPad (I believe cleverly titled, “Game for Cats”) and my cat just stared at it, prepared to pounce on it, then rolled over and licked her paw. Needless to say, I don’t think that was the intention of the game. So your mileage may vary.

Either way, this cat is obviously ready for real-life ninjaing. If you hear about some cat dicing up leftover shogun warriors in the next week, now you’ll know.

Cat Plays Fruit Ninja on iPad [Reddit]

There are so many adorable Christmas-related videos going around right now and that’s great for us Christians, I guess. But what about something for the chosen people during this Hanukkah season? BAM! Meet Hanukkah Cat, the world’s only hope at a viral Hanukkah video.

FYI – This video being ]]>

There are so many adorable Christmas-related videos going around right now and that’s great for us Christians, I guess. But what about something for the chosen people during this Hanukkah season? BAM! Meet Hanukkah Cat, the world’s only hope at a viral Hanukkah video.

FYI – This video being the only Hanukkah-related one I’ve seen is proof dispelling the old myth that Jewish people control the media. Or maybe it’s just traditional media? Either way, Hanukkah Cat has taught us all a little something about the world and ourselves.

Morning Fluff [The Daily What]

Much can be said about the following clip. Like “gee, I guess when you live in Sweden, there isn’t that much to do, huh?”

Unfortunately half the of the video is the guy who made it, going over how everything was done. Then again, if I went trhough the trouble ]]>

Much can be said about the following clip. Like “gee, I guess when you live in Sweden, there isn’t that much to do, huh?”

Unfortunately half the of the video is the guy who made it, going over how everything was done. Then again, if I went trhough the trouble of creating and animating everything in Legos, and animated via stop motion, I probably wouldn’t shut up about it either…

… As found via Capcom Unity, btw. Also, and speaking of stop motion, I can’t believe I haven’t passed along this parody of Star Fox in the vein of Fantastic Mr. Fox…

I don’t know what it is about these new Guinness World Record videos but man are they holding my attention. Last week, you saw the world’s largest afro. This week, you meet Stewie, the world’s longest domestic cat.

For those too lazy to ]]>

I don’t know what it is about these new Guinness World Record videos but man are they holding my attention. Last week, you saw the world’s largest afro. This week, you meet Stewie, the world’s longest domestic cat.

For those too lazy to pay attention or too distracted by the length of the cat, Stewie clocks in at a midget-shaming 48.5 inches.

I don’t know that we needed to have an official measurement for this. I get that’s what the Guinness World Record people do, but personally I’d settle for just qualifying any cat over 40 inches long as “One Big Fucking Cat.” Maybe it’s not as prestigious of a title, but people would get the idea pretty quickly.

Morning Fluff [The Daily What]

When researchers combine cures for deadly illnesses with adorable animals, good things are bound to happen. And that’s the case in this research involving this kitten at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. The scientists at the Mayo Clinic plucked kittens proven to have a resistance to ]]>

When researchers combine cures for deadly illnesses with adorable animals, good things are bound to happen. And that’s the case in this research involving this kitten at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.

The scientists at the Mayo Clinic plucked kittens proven to have a resistance to Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, the cat version of HIV, and gave them an antiviral gene found in rhesus monkeys that has been proven to resist viruses causing AIDS in animals.

The doctors then combined the antiviral gene with a protein found in jellyfish, called GFP, which causes the glow-in-the-dark effect. The combination of the two allows the scientists to test the effectiveness of the gene in resisting FIV while the glow-in-the-dark protein allows them to more effectively tract the work of the antiviral gene.

One of the Mayo Clinic researchers told the BBC, “If you could show that you confer protection to these animals, it would give us a lot of information about protecting humans.”

The next step for researchers will be to release a live form of FIV into the hopefully-protected kittens to determine how their vaccine protects them.

While any advancements in AIDS research are noteworthy and commendable, I’m most pleased by how closely this situation resembles someone’s drug-induced ramblings. I’m pretty sure that any average citizen declaring that advancements in AIDS research can be sped up by rubbing a rhesus monkey on a cat made to glow-in-the-dark would not be nearly as well-received, no matter how good my intentions may have been nor how loudly I shouted them while angrily pointing at passersby.

This Glowing Kitten May Hold the Key For AIDS Vaccine [Gizmodo]
Glowing cats shed light on Aids [BBC]

The Internet can shut down its obsession with cats because there’s just no reason to carry on after this video by a guy named Mike Polk Jr. It summarizes what it’s like to be a cat or live with one better than any adorable photo capably labeled with Impact font ]]>

The Internet can shut down its obsession with cats because there’s just no reason to carry on after this video by a guy named Mike Polk Jr. It summarizes what it’s like to be a cat or live with one better than any adorable photo capably labeled with Impact font could ever convey.

For a long time, many people have acted like cats are the domesticated animal with superior intellect, but it seems to me like that litter box thing might be a bit of a deterrent to that theory. If I went to another planet and they were like, “Hey, shit in this box all day,” I’d probably at least protest it a bit. But nope, cats just leisurely go in there, hanging out amongst their own waste. Just because your genitals were halfassedly licked afterwards doesn’t mean you’re properly sanitized, cat. It’s like you’ve never even met a French prostitute.

[Thanks for the tip, Carl!]

From the same folks who gave us Metal Gear Solid mixed up with Call of Duty, with a splash of Halo, come their latest remix: Mario Warfare...

… If it’s half as good as Modern War Gear Solid: Combat of the Jedi Evolved, then it’s gonna be ]]>

From the same folks who gave us Metal Gear Solid mixed up with Call of Duty, with a splash of Halo, come their latest remix: Mario Warfare...

… If it’s half as good as Modern War Gear Solid: Combat of the Jedi Evolved, then it’s gonna be epic! Speaking of…

You know, it reminds of that equally massive in scope retelling of Super Mario Bros that was all the rage online before the advent of YouTube. Remember this?

Here’s part two…

And part three…

Finally here’s part four and part five. I have to pass on the YouTube versions because Warner Music Group, the ruiners of many fine online clips, decided to flat them for unauthorized use of their audio, Those jerk-offs.

Anyway, finally, another mish-mash: Medal of Honor but with cats…

There are few things more unappealing to someone blogging about humor than the day before a long holiday weekend. Nothing good happens, nothing new comes out. It’s like trying to beat off a corpse. So here’s an adorable kitten video of one playing dead to get her sister to stop ]]>

There are few things more unappealing to someone blogging about humor than the day before a long holiday weekend. Nothing good happens, nothing new comes out. It’s like trying to beat off a corpse. So here’s an adorable kitten video of one playing dead to get her sister to stop being annoying.

Aww. Kitties!

Funny story: I once went out with a girl who claimed that she was going out with some guy for three months and there were no overtures of sex on his part. So once she finally went for it, aggressively going for the gold with mouth play. When she found this to be kind of fruitless, she caved and asked, “What’s the problems here? What am I doing wrong?”

That was the point in which he revealed that he couldn’t get off from “traditional sexual relations”.

He requested that she take a cold shower and lie down, trying to minimize her breathing, as he has her way with her. The reason? He had a corpse fetish. Not actual corpses. Just girls pretending to be corpses. It was the only way he could get off.

She said she left and never spoke to him again.

That’s what this absurdly cute cat video reminded me of. This is what happens the day before a holiday weekend. ALL YOUR FAULT, INTERNET.

Morning Fluff [The Daily What]

This video is from Russia so you can probably make your own Yakov Smirnoff “Soviet Russia” joke here. But in this clip of a cat barking like a dog until a camera catches him and he’s forced to gracefully segue into a meow, there’s definitely something odd going on.

File this one under “Things I Really Wish Were Real But Definitely Aren’t”…in this YouTube video, a girl claiming to be creating this video for eHarmony finds herself in a loop discussing her love of cats. Spoiler alert: She sounds insane.

I wish this were a legitimate video. Not ]]>

File this one under “Things I Really Wish Were Real But Definitely Aren’t”…in this YouTube video, a girl claiming to be creating this video for eHarmony finds herself in a loop discussing her love of cats. Spoiler alert: She sounds insane.

I wish this were a legitimate video. Not because there needs to be more women out there with MBAs crying over their love for cats, but because it would be nice to know how guys would respond to it. She’s not bad looking so you’d still pretty much have to give it to her, right? Granted, it might be hard to achieve orgasm while you scratch the butt of a tortoise shell cat while staring into the eyes of a wallpaper made entirely of “Hang in there” posters, but it’s worth a shot.

eHarmony Bio Video of the Day [The Daily What]

That video of a dog looking guilty after eating cat treats went viral a couple weeks ago. And now, a Russian pet owner is attempting to capture the magic of the video with cats in the place of dogs. Does he succeed? You decide!

My thoughts: The ]]>

That video of a dog looking guilty after eating cat treats went viral a couple weeks ago. And now, a Russian pet owner is attempting to capture the magic of the video with cats in the place of dogs. Does he succeed? You decide!

My thoughts: The problem is that cats are pretty much always guilty. If anything, that cat probably wasn’t even the one that did it. The other dude hanging out, licking himself and purring was probably the culprit. Cats are assholes like that, just adorably troll-facing their way through life, destroying things and picking up treats all the way.

Cat Feels Guilty [Viral Viral Videos]

It’s the first day of spring and, at least in NYC, it’s gloomy and disgusting out. So what better way to kick off this exciting new season than by watching a video of a cat dressed up in a hot dog costume eating a hot dog? What’s that? You say ]]>

It’s the first day of spring and, at least in NYC, it’s gloomy and disgusting out. So what better way to kick off this exciting new season than by watching a video of a cat dressed up in a hot dog costume eating a hot dog? What’s that? You say there’s no relevance to spring at all? La la la I can’t hear you.

That’s a homemade hot dog, made out of — according to the YouTube uploader and owner of Hot Dog Cat — “beef, chicken, carrots and broccoli, with the help of a meat grinder and steamer.” It also looks like a sickly dog’s feces. Frankly, I’m not sure which is less appetizing.

Either way, I support implied hot dog cannibalism, so the video is still a net win.

Cat Dressed As Hot Dog Eating Hot Dog [Viral Viral Videos]

Maru is a Japanese cat who, if you don’t know him, is famous for his love of boxes. So his owner decided to screw with him and give him boxes way too small to fit in. The result is hilarious, and adorable, trolling at its finest.

I really relate ]]>

Maru is a Japanese cat who, if you don’t know him, is famous for his love of boxes. So his owner decided to screw with him and give him boxes way too small to fit in. The result is hilarious, and adorable, trolling at its finest.

I really relate to Maru here. Personally, I have a hard time fitting into most boxes too. I try pretty enthusiastically for a couple minutes only to watch them quiver in fear of my girth. Then I end up flopping down onto the floor, unsatisfied.

What? That wasn’t a double entendre! I just like to build forts. No big deal.

You may be familiar with that fainting goats video that went viral many many moons ago. It’s a condition called “congenital myotonia,” an aversion to loud sounds that makes the animal afflicted with it “faint.” And apparently kittens can get it. And look adorable doing so.

Spying on people isn’t a good thing. But if you’re going to do it as adorably as the Peeping Tom cat in this video does, I think people may turn a blind eye.

See? And we thought it was only Ceiling Cat

Spying on people isn’t a good thing. But if you’re going to do it as adorably as the Peeping Tom cat in this video does, I think people may turn a blind eye.

See? And we thought it was only Ceiling Cat who watches you masturbate.