Is your Wednesday dragging? Think about how much worse life would be if you were a caveman. Have a crappy imagination? Well, fortunately, this video captures the spirit of the time…in song.

And they say cavemen weren’t advanced. They were playing severed dinosaur penises as guitars and harmonizing easily ]]>

Is your Wednesday dragging? Think about how much worse life would be if you were a caveman. Have a crappy imagination? Well, fortunately, this video captures the spirit of the time…in song.

And they say cavemen weren’t advanced. They were playing severed dinosaur penises as guitars and harmonizing easily as well as a second-rate Iowa dinner theatre. If that’s not a marvel of artistic advancement, I don’t know what is.

“Caveman Blues” Is Our Generation’s “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” [Videogum]

Say what you will about cavemen, but they really knew how to get their mileage out of rocks and other assorted worthlessness. For example, there’s this 30,000 year-old bit of siltstone that’s a sex toy which was also, apparently, used to start fires. Found in a ]]>

Say what you will about cavemen, but they really knew how to get their mileage out of rocks and other assorted worthlessness. For example, there’s this 30,000 year-old bit of siltstone that’s a sex toy which was also, apparently, used to start fires.

Found in a cave in Germany and currently being studied by the University of Tubingen, the device (pictured left) is estimated to be at least 28,000 years old.

Researchers at the university believe the tool was discarded after being broken. They found the device in device in a dozen pieces and then had to reassemble it to figure out its form and function.

There are also carved rings on one end, designed for her pleasure. Throughout the body of the device, there are marks indicating where it was used for striking against flints to start fires.

As a side note, there is literally nothing less sexy I can think of than a cavewoman attempting to get herself off with a piece of rock. Hair all over the place, unibrow furrowed with sweat dripping from it, pungent odors emanating from every inch of her body while she stares at a well-endowed stick figure on the wall. And then, to celebrate her journey of self-discovery, she bangs it violently against a rock to start a fire. Yes. That is quite a foxy fantasy.

Prehistoric siltstone phallus, the world’s oldest sex toy, was also used as tool to ignite fires