And they say cavemen weren’t advanced. They were playing severed dinosaur penises as guitars and harmonizing easily as well as a second-rate Iowa dinner theatre. If that’s not a marvel of artistic advancement, I don’t know what is.

“Caveman Blues” Is Our Generation’s “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” [Videogum]

Researchers at the university believe the tool was discarded after being broken. They found the device in device in a dozen pieces and then had to reassemble it to figure out its form and function.

There are also carved rings on one end, designed for her pleasure. Throughout the body of the device, there are marks indicating where it was used for striking against flints to start fires.

As a side note, there is literally nothing less sexy I can think of than a cavewoman attempting to get herself off with a piece of rock. Hair all over the place, unibrow furrowed with sweat dripping from it, pungent odors emanating from every inch of her body while she stares at a well-endowed stick figure on the wall. And then, to celebrate her journey of self-discovery, she bangs it violently against a rock to start a fire. Yes. That is quite a foxy fantasy.

Prehistoric siltstone phallus, the world’s oldest sex toy, was also used as tool to ignite fires