My favorite former #1 WAG Cheryl Cole has been pretty quiet lately so it was nice to wake up this morning and see that she did a sexy photo shoot for some magazine called Hunger. I like that they’ve got her hair all wet in this video. It’s like a Pavlovian response for men that when they see a sexy woman with her hair wet, even if she’s fully clothed, to immediately go to the envisioning her in the shower card. At least that’s where I go in my mind when I see something like that. Maybe it’s just me.

March and July look like they are going to be extra sexy months in 2012...

You heard me, our favorite former WAG Cheryl Cole has a sexy new wall calendar for 2012. Because everyone still uses wall calendars, right? Little story: For years I refused to call Cheryl by her married name and referred to her as Cheryl Tweedy because I thought her soccer playing husband was a douchebag for cheating on such a wonderful, wonderful woman and I didn’t want to use his name. But then everyone kept calling her Cheryl Cole. Even she did it. And so I gave in and started calling her Cheryl Cole. Then he cheated on her again and she left him, but she’s still going by the name Cole. So I guess I’m stuck doing it as well now… I didn’t say it was a good story.

Minka Kelly Explodes After Getting Groped on Charlie’s Angels Set
“The staffer came up behind the 31-year-old actress and slapped her across the rear end while holding a $100 bill in his hand…”

Jen Aniston’s Team “Went Ballistic” After Brad Pitt Insult
“She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”

Robert Pattinson is Recording an Album
“The album Rob will make will be guitar-based and drums, very organic-sounding, nothing pop…”

Kardashian Sisters Slam Elisabetta Canalis’ Dancing With the Stars Performance
“Shows are rigged all the time.”

Brad Pitt: Angelina & I Not Marrying Until Gays Can
“The kids are putting on the heat. They really are. They are putting on the heat.”

Mel Gibson Accused of Pastry Meltdown
Mel Gibson allegedly tried to run over a man outside a Costa Rican bakery…”

Cheryl Cole Launches Shoe Collection
“Cole’s limited-edition footwear collection is due to hit stores in December…”

Levi Johnston Tells Dr. Phil Bristol Palin Lied About How She Lost Virginity
“Obviously she’s not using the date rape thing, but it’s horrifying for someone you date for four years to say that.”

Rosie O’Donnell Has a New Girlfriend
“They are adorable together and are very, very happy.”

Gayle King Sued by Matchmatcher for Not Delivering Oprah
“Orly alleges she spent hundreds of hours hooking Gayle up with 5 men — all fabulous.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of a sexy photo shoot with singer Shvona Lavette.

Jennifer Lopez blocks sexy honeymoon tape… for now
“J.Lo … scored a restraining order against Claudia Vasquez — the current girlfriend of her ex-husband Ojani Noa…”

Gerard Butler and Jessica Biel: Cajun Courtship?
“Their reps say the two actors are ‘just friends,’ but they appeared to be pretty close friends while shooting Playing the Field…”

Cheryl Cole out at X Factor… again
“Nicole Scherzinger — who was originally picked as the host — will now take Cheryl’s place as a judge.”

Eminem slams Lady Gaga in new song “A Kiss”
“Eminem calls out past rumors that suggested Lady Gaga was a hermaphrodite…”

Jersey Shore’s fourth season gets premiere date
“Jersey Shore’s fourth season, set in Italy, will premiere August 4 at 10 p.m., MTV has announced.”

Red Hot Chili Peppers returning in August with I’m With You
“I’m With You will be RHCP’s first album since 2006′s massively successful double disc Stadium Arcadium…”

Sean Kingston walking and breathing on his own
“The Memorial Day weekend accident left Kingston with a broken jaw and wrist and water filled lungs…”

Richie Sambora out of rehab, joining the tour
“…he’s meeting up with Jon and the boys for the European leg of the tour.”

Prince William, Kate Moving to Kensington Palace
“These digs are definitely temporary, however.”

Newlyweds Tony Romo & Candice Crawford honeymoon in Mexico
“On Sunday, she showed off her amazing body in a bikini, while hunky Romo displayed his broad shoulders in a tank top.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Jessica Biel appears in a sexy new ad for Revlon with Pharrell Williams.

Pippa Middleton’s dirty dancing
“No word on the royal reaction to the revealing photo…”

Jennifer Aniston’s ex-lover breaks silence about their romance
“I just want to set the record straight, she’s not the person people think she is.”

Cheryl Cole named third X Factor judge
“It’s official!”

Katy Perry: Russell Brand has ‘never lied to me’
“I trust him; there’s just a level of trust that we’ve built up.”

Oprah may save the biggest star in the world for her final guest
“It’s one of the best kept secrets in all of entertainment: who will be Oprah Winfrey’s final guest, ever?”

‘The Situation’ lands new project deal with MTV
“Sorrentino isn’t attached to any specific project right now, but expect a pilot to be filmed at some point this year for the network.”

Jesse James proclaims Kat Von D better in bed than Sandra Bullock
“James told [Howard] Stern it’s ’100 percent’ better with Von D.”

Oksana drops domestic violence claim against Mel Gibson
“Mel’s lawyer, Stephen Kolodny and the judge were visibly shocked.”

Kristen Wiig retires two SNL characters
“…the comedienne revealed she’s retiring one-note characters Penelope and Gilly from the late-night show.”

Jim Caviezel says Jesus ruined his career
“Caviezel said he was warned against taking the part by Gibson who warned him he would never work in Hollywood again.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Sara Jean Underwood in bikinis at Brazilian Carnival for G4TV.

Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 120 days in jail, community service
“Lindsay will have to serve her community service at a women’s shelter in downtown Los Angeles and the Los Angeles County Morgue.”

Lindsay Lohan released from jail
“Lohan was able to bond out Friday night because she is appealing the sentence.”

Emma Watson is finished with Brown, not college
“…she will be transferring to another university this fall.”

Jim Carrey will guest star on The Office
“Ricky Gervais, Will Arnett, James Spader, Ray Romano, and Catherine Tate also play potential replacements in the hourlong episode…”

Prince’s Minnesota homestead in foreclosure with $368k mortgage arrears
“A twenty acre parcel of land where pint-sized superstar Prince’s former home used to sit is due to go under the auction hammer next month.”

Paula Abdul and Cheryl Cole to judge X Factor, Simon Cowell says
“The hype machine for Simon Cowell’s upcoming U.S. edition of The X Factor has really begun to crank up.”

James Franco pursues second PhD
“Franco, 33, received his undergraduate degree from UCLA in June 2008 and an MFA degree in writing from Columbia in 2010.”

Denise Richards: Charlie Sheen’s tour is “hurtful”
“It makes me sad to see him [go from being] on a very wonderful, well-written hugely popular show to going down this path… I don’t know if he’s sober or not.”

Kara DioGuardi sued over wrecked Porsche
“Kara wasn’t even driving the car!”

Jeremy Renner tapped to take over ‘Bourne’ movies
“If he accepts the lead in The Bourne Legacy, he won’t be playing Jason Bourne, but another highly trained assassin who went through the same brutal Treadstone program.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
The dance version of Britney Spears’ new song ‘Till the World Ends’.

That is one hell of a profile right there...

Apparently awards shows are all the rage over in Britain as well as here in the States since my favorite former WAG Cheryl Tweedy was out looking drop-dead sexy at both the Brit Awards (black dress) and the Elle Style Awards (red dress) this week. And I thought we had stupid awards shows. At least we don’t have one for friggin’ style (sorry, Gabe, but really, an awards show?). I guess I really shouldn’t complain though, at least these shows got Cheryl out of the house and into these two smokin’ dresses. Yay pointless narcissistic publicity-whoring events!!

Sexiest eskimo ever...

I’m not sure what’s going on here with Cheryl Tweedy. She’s dressed in normal clothing, looking all sexy as usual, but then there’s the hat. What’s up with the hat? And this isn’t the first time I have seen her in this hat. That’s what makes it so odd and forced me to post these photos. She seems to truly like this thing. Is she trying to prove that she can be hot in any type of clothing? Because if she is, mission accomplished.

I'm buying this album and I might even listen to the music on it too!

Cheryl Tweedy has a new album coming out called Messy Little Raindrops. These are the photos she using to promote it. Suddenly I am a fan of British pop music. Once again I am left to ask, no beg, for someone in Hollywood to put this woman on TV over here. Just make up a show for her. Anything with her in it would be as good as half the crap we have on TV now. Hell just make a show where she sits and stands and walks around. Call it Cheryl’s TV Web Cam or some sh-t. (By the way, if someone actually does that, I call dibs on a cut of the profits. Just sayin’…)

Yes, Cheryl, there really is no need for you to ever wear pants...

As she has been known to do, Cheryl Tweedy performed on that show, X-Factor, over there in the UK, and as usual she did not disappoint. Now I don’t watch these shows like X-Factor or American Idol, but if they could somehow swing it for Cheryl to be on one of those shows here in the States and if she managed to squeeze out a performance or two on one of those shows I might actually watch it. Umm, well, maybe not. I mean, I didn’t watch this show and I have the highlights right here. Forget what I said.

Suddenly I have a hankerin' for some Doublemint gum...

Cheryl Tweedy is officially super famous now I guess since someone spent $326,537 to create a wax statue of her for Madame Tussauds in London. It really does look like her. A lot. Hmm… I wonder if they sell home versions of those things? I might need more than one though. Wax tends to melt when faced with a lot of friction. Just sayin’…

OH. MY. GOD.

Cheryl Tweedy may no longer be the #1 WAG since she dumped her idiot husband but that doesn’t make me any less happy to see her pulling her jacket apart to reveal that she has no bra on in her new music video for the song Through My Eyes. I still haven’t heard Cheryl sing any of her songs, yet she is still one of my all-time favorite singers in the world. Go figure. (I also tossed in some photos she did recently for something called Absynth, whatever that is. Don’t ask me which ones are which. You’re welcome.)

For some reason every hot babe with a pulse in the UK puts out a sexy calendar year after year. Luckily for us Cheryl Tweedy is no different. Do hot American female celebrities put out calendars? I mean, besides Kim Kardashian. And if they do, are they any good? Because I gotta tell ya, I can’t say that I have seen one in the last 10 years or so.

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

>>> Friends of Megan Fox don’t think her marriage to Brian Austin Green is going to be a long-term thing. They say that Megan still isn’t over Shia LaBeouf. And really, who would be? BAG does have the fact that he is at least employed now going for him, so who knows?

>>> Cheryl Tweedy has malaria. I’m going to need a moment of prayer from everyone. Do it!

>>> Lindsay Lohan thinks she has been cruelly and unusually punished. She even went on Twitter ranting about some article by a law professor. In other news, Lindsay might be retarded. Just sayin’.

>>> At least Lindsay’s dad Michael is supportive of her.

>>> Lindsay is also looking to cash in on her arrest by attempting to get $1 million for a post-jail interview. If someone actually pays her for this, I quit life.

>>> George Michael (remember him?) was arrested after crashing his car into a building. Police took George in to custody on suspicion of being unfit to drive. Those police… nothing gets by them.

>>> Our favorite sexy Aussie nobody Sophie Monk caught her boyfriend in bed with another woman. I guess the old saying is true…

>>> Kendra Wilkinson wrote a book and amazingly someone actually published it.

>>> I guess it’s good Kendra has her book to occupy her time and mind right now since it’s also being reported that Kendra’s husband, Hank Baskett might be cheating on her… with strippers. Shocking I say!

>>> Turns out that Mel Gibson also hates Mexicans. Which is nice.

>>> Mel Gibson also apparently likes to threaten his porn star girlfriends, such as his ex-girlfriend Violet Kowal who says Mel had an affair with her while his girlfriend, whom he had an affair with while married, was pregnant. On the bright side, at least he didn’t tell her he’d bury her in his garden. Or point a gun at her.

>>> And if after all that you still don’t think Mel Gibson is one of the biggest tools on the planet just give this a listen.

>>> A photo of Ke$ha topless covered in man juice surfaced on the Internet this week, which I am sure will have zero effect on your opinion of the popular singer.

>>> Reggie Bush sure does like him some full figured gals as the Saints ultraback has been rumored to be getting cozy with Kanye West’s ex-girlfriend Amber Rose. Or maybe it’s just payback.

>>> And finally, Angelina Jolie got another tattoo. Hey, if the New York Daily News thinks its worthy of mention who am I to disagree?

>>> Here’s a SUPER BONUS VIDEO (just because) of Katy Perry’s Esquire photo shoot…

These are photos of Cheryl Tweedy outside the studio in Birmingham, England as they get ready for auditions for that TV show she is on, The X Factor. What’s special about these otherwise less than thrilling photos is that it’s Cheryl Tweedy and she’s wearing skintight pants. In other words, these are fantastic photos and it wasn’t only the crowd that got a thrill, I think I got a little bit of a thrill myself. Nope, that’s just some pudding I spilled. Never mind.

I think it is physically impossible for Cheryl Tweedy to ever not look sexy. I mean, just look at her here at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in London the other day. Simply stunning. I know I just did a post on Cheryl yesterday so I hope you don’t mind that I am coming back with more photos of her today. And if you do, I would like you to just hand over your man card to authorities right now, please. Thank you.

One of these days real soon Cheryl Tweedy is going to lose her #1 WAG status (when she officially gets divorced), but if she keeps performing in outfits like this one she wore at the Summertime Ball this past weekend she’ll can still fight it out for the title of simply the sexiest woman in the world. Girls like Cheryl really shouldn’t be allowed to wear outfits like this. As much as I like it, it’s really not fair. I mean, I look at that, then what am I supposed to do? Not fair.

Cheryl Tweedy nee Cole still qualifies as either my #1 or #2 WAG depending on what day it is because she still hasn’t officially divorced her idiot husband for cheating on her yet. Today I am putting her in the #1 slot based on this dress she wore to the Cannes premiere of something called Outside The Law. I’d never heard of this Outside the Law movie before today, but if Cheryl thinks enough of it to go attend the flick’s premiere, then I damn sure am going to go see it when it hits theaters in my nape of the neck. I’ll do anything if it somehow pleases Cheryl. (She’s about to become single, you know?)

I don’t understand why more companies don’t just use women like L’Oreal did here with Cheryl Tweedy for their advertising. All you have to do is look at this video here to see what I mean. Think about it… men love to look at beautiful women for obvious reasons, women like to look at beautiful women to either admire or hate on them, so really why wouldn’t a company try to put at least one super hot babe in their advertising no matter what the product is. I mean, if Kelly Brook can be used to sell glasses there really are no limits, are there? Anyone interested in hiring me for my marketing wizardry can feel free to drop me a tweet or email at the addresses below.

Remember the sex tape that is about to go public involving Kendra Wilkinson? Of course you do. Well, there’s even more news! One, it seems that Kendra’s sex tape involved multiple partners, aka was a gang bang. And two, Kendra’s husband Hank is reportedly thinking of divorcing her now. “Hank is totally upset and embarrassed. He’s so angry… The main reason he’s embarrassed is his team’s [possible] reaction.”

Speaking of divorce, Matt Lauer is also apparently headed for one. He and his wife Annette are “reportedly living apart and have been for more than two months, ever since [he] spent a string of “wild nights” in Vancouver covering the Winter Olympics.”

You may have read or seen this week a 17 year-old Miley Cyrus bumping and grinding up against a 44-year-old man. If not, go here. Now that you’re fully informed, someone asked Miley’s dad, Billy Ray, what he thought of the proceedings. Naturally he had no problem with it. “It’s what people her age do.” He went on to say his daughter was just “having fun.” Wow.

Heidi Montag called the cops on her mom. For reals. “Still reeling from her mother’s criticism of her intense plastic surgery makeover, Heidi Montag called police on her mother Thursday, claiming she was “psychotic” when she refused to leave.” At least her mom hasn’t disowned her, like her “husband’s” parents have. That day will come soon enough though.

Speaking of family issues, Cheryl Tweedy’s brother got arrested this week. “Andrew Tweedy was held just hours after the violent raid in which a gang of robbers waved a gun and machete at customers and staff before making off with thousands of pounds.” Cheryl is said to have been “in a state of shock”.

Taylor Momsen also almost got arrested this week for trying to take knives on a plane. Says Taylor, “I flew from New York to Los Angeles and still had a couple of knives in my purse. I thought I took them all out but they got tucked up in the folds. I went through security, took them on the plane, opened my bag to get my wallet in LA and they fell out. I was like: ‘Holy shit!’”

Russell Brand loves prostitutes. He also used to have a lot of groupie sex, of course, that was before he met Katy Perry. “When I was at my most promiscuous, I was like a charging locomotive…I had a team of experts who took care of finding women for me. They had very specific instructions. It was as if I was talking to a wine steward.”

Victoria Beckham apparently has really ugly feet. At least according to a recent poll. Yes, someone took a poll. 71% of Brits polled in a recent survey say she has horrible toes. In the same poll, 67% of respondents said Posh should have surgery to fix her feet. I just want to know who is looking at her feet. That’s not what I see when I look at Posh.

In other WAG news, Tito Ortiz will not face any charges for his domestic incident with Jenna Jameson. “The D.A. tells TMZ there was insufficient corroboration to prove beyond reasonable doubt that Tito had attacked his girlfriend Jenna Jameson. That could have something to do with the fact Jenna changed her story multiple times.”

Speaking of men with issues, Sean Penn was sentenced Wednesday to three years probation, 36 hours of anger management classes and 300 hours of community service after pleading no contest to misdemeanor vandalism charges related to a little trouble he had with the paparazzi last year.

And since we’re on the subject of men with issues, Russell Crowe is back in the news for his temper. Russell threw a hissy fit at BBC radio 4 host Mark Lawson when he asked the actor a question about his Robin Hood accent. Give it a listen.

And finally, a supermodel tried to off herself this week. Noemie Lenoir was found on the ground in a forest in La Celle-Saint-Cloud on the outskirts of Paris after allegedly taking a deadly cocktail of alcohol and drugs, the U.K.’s Daily Mail reports.