It would appear as though a certain puppy took Ernie Anastos’s words of wisdom a bit too literally: In this clip, you can see an adorable puppy force a chicken into his dog house and then, well, forcible lovin’ happens.

Sadly, this is how Frank Perdue also ]]>

It would appear as though a certain puppy took Ernie Anastos’s words of wisdom a bit too literally: In this clip, you can see an adorable puppy force a chicken into his dog house and then, well, forcible lovin’ happens.

Sadly, this is how Frank Perdue also became so successful in the chicken game. Talking nice to chickens, seducing them, making sweet forced love to them, then turning them into food. You always wondered how the chicken stayed so juicy. Now you know.

ADORABLE INTERSPECIES RAPE & MORNING LINKS [FilmDrunk]

There’s a whole lot of chicken drama going on in Indiana, mostly over people owning them as pets. Because when you were eating that Chicken Whopper you were probably thinking, “Wow, I bet this sandwich would have been adorable to own.” Anyway, it was illegal to own chickens and…now it ]]>

There’s a whole lot of chicken drama going on in Indiana, mostly over people owning them as pets. Because when you were eating that Chicken Whopper you were probably thinking, “Wow, I bet this sandwich would have been adorable to own.” Anyway, it was illegal to own chickens and…now it still is.

After much discussion, a rule that to prevents people from keeping chickens as pets in Lafayette will stand.

Gay Ellen Stulp and Stephany Miskunas first lobbied the city to allow chickens in Lafayette.

“I do not believe that having chickens in the city are gonna cause major damage to people or to property,” said Stulp.

Stulp owns chickens herself, which are temporarily staying at a farm in Tippecanoe County.

Some residents were surprised to find that there were rules governing chicken ownership at all.

“I have four hens. I never dreamed that this wasn’t legal. I was a member of the chicken underground and didn’t even know it!” said Miskunas.

[WLFI, as seen on Fark]

Apparently this video by an artist with classical influences named “Ms. Peachez” came out in 2006. I hadn’t heard of it until recently when the heroes known as Opie and Anthony brought it to my attention so it’s new to me, that counts for something. It’s a song titled “Fry ]]>

Apparently this video by an artist with classical influences named “Ms. Peachez” came out in 2006. I hadn’t heard of it until recently when the heroes known as Opie and Anthony brought it to my attention so it’s new to me, that counts for something. It’s a song titled “Fry That Chicken.”

You see the problem is that Ms. Peachez doesn’t seem like some brilliant satirist. And when you’re kind of innocently doing a video like this, you not only make your people look bad, you also take a lot of the zing out of racism. What fun is it to accuse me of some fictional stereotype (let’s say that Chrises are known for their love of smearing peanut butter on their nipples) if I blindly make a video in which I sit in a bath tub rubbing peanut butter on my nipples, cleverly titled “P to the B for My Nippahz”? Not fun at all.

Just for the record, choosy peanut butter fetishists also choose Jif.

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver went to a high school and taught kids what actually goes into their favorite food “chicken nuggets”. Note the horror on the kids’ faces.

The only way that these chicken nuggets could have come out less delicious is if Jamie Oliver took his pants down ]]>

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver went to a high school and taught kids what actually goes into their favorite food “chicken nuggets”. Note the horror on the kids’ faces.

The only way that these chicken nuggets could have come out less delicious is if Jamie Oliver took his pants down and personally rubbed his balls on every nugget. Then again, that’d probably really flavor them up. Not that it’d be good flavor, but whatever, when you’re eating fried gelatinous chicken scraps, maybe you need to lower your standards of what you’re going to get out of your meals a bit more.

So if you’re a T-Rex I have bad news for you this morning: It turns out, you’re really just a large chicken.

Tyrannosaurus rex just got a firm grip on the animal kingdom’s family tree, right next to chickens and ostriches.

New analyses ]]>

So if you’re a T-Rex I have bad news for you this morning: It turns out, you’re really just a large chicken.

Tyrannosaurus rex just got a firm grip on the animal kingdom’s family tree, right next to chickens and ostriches.

New analyses of soft tissue from a T.rex leg bone re-confirm that birds are dinosaurs’ closest living relatives.

“We determined that T. rex, in fact, grouped with birds — ostrich and chicken — better than any other organism that we studied,” said researcher John Asara of Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and Harvard Medical School. “We also show that it groups better with birds than [with] modern reptiles, such as alligators and green anole lizards.”

When reached for comment, Tyrone Rex said, “F NAH YO.” All the dinosaurs I reach for comment tend to be ethnic.

I guess that while physiologically there are similarities (this may surprise you, but I’m not a scientist and am incapable of disproving these accusations), I’ve also never been terrified of a chicken eating me whole. Or tipping over an outhouse while I’m in it. Or was that a velociraptor. Or that spitting dinosaur. Man those things were pretty cool. I don’t even know if they really existed, but I remember when that one spat in Newman’s eye in Jurassic Park and I was like, “Wow. That is a dinosaur that you should respect.”

Anyway given these findings, T-Rexes sound delicious and I would like to eat one. Please serve one up to me stat, Kennedy Fried T-Rex.