Maybe this wouldn’t be one of “the saddest days in history” to most of us, but look at this girl. If ever there were a case of someone needing copious amounts of booze to get it in, even at one of the most renowned party schools in the nation, this is it. There are Fleshlights more sexually appealing than this girl.

I’ve mentioned Sony’s new set once before. As also previously noted, it’s quite nice! The fact that one person can watch one thing, or play a game to be exact, which the other person enjoys something entire different is still a modern miracle. Oh, and if both parties chooses to view the same thing, they can possibly do so in 3D (as well as not argue about who will have the audio feed that particular time).

Yes, it’s a bit on the small side, but that comes with the breaks with such technology that also won’t put you completely in the poor house, hence why the special deal on the system being even better in that regards. Though one also needs to remember that each pair costs $70, so that savings for the PS3 might be gobble dup real quick.

The small size is also due to the fact that it’s intended for college dorms, and we all know the one thing about college students: they are generally dirt poor.

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d take some time on the weekends to share a few classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Despite chugging away 90% of their college experience, the majority of fraternity members do graduate from college, obtain employment, and live among us in the real world. They blend in so well with the rest of society that it can be almost impossible at times to spot them. Luckily, social scientists have done extensive research and found seven telltale signs to spotting a former frat boy. You can finally know for sure which married, straight men in your office have willingly done the elephant walk.

7 Freaks out When Hearing the Word “Paddle”
Have you ever been in the middle of talking about a canoe paddle only to realize that your boss had involuntarily fallen to his knees and started begging for mercy? If you answered yes, you’re dealing with a former frat boy who learned all about brotherhood by being beaten with a paddle. Of course all the times with his paddle weren’t awful — when he wasn’t being beaten with it, brothers were figuring out which of his body orifices it could fit up.

6 Treats Women Poorly
If you have a friend who sleeps with women and then makes them go home at 3 A.M because he doesn’t want those sluts thinking he wants a girlfriend, your friend was in a frat. In college it was all the rage to sleep with a girl and never contact her again –unless of course mandated by the city health department. Odds are this friend also refuses to wear condoms and thinks it’s totally normal to have a few paternity cases pending at any given time.

5 Hazes Inferiors
Is it tradition for your co-worker to make all the interns chug boiling hot coffee and then kneel on the floor for 6 hours? While it’s hard to believe that that your co-worker isn’t trying to harm them permanently, it’s true. After spending an entire semester pledging (doing unthinkable illegal activities that he blocked out so he doesn’t have to think about how dirty he felt having sex with a corpse), he doesn’t know any other way to communicate with inferiors.

4 Wears Costume to Every Event
Do you work with someone who brought along a legitimate secretary ho to the last board meeting, only to justify it by saying “I thought it was a CEO’S and office ho’s party.” He’s not trying to be funny — or even sexy. He just can’t comprehend how a large group of people can congregate without throwing on a costume and doing keg stands until they pass out. Just remember to shield your eyes at the annual golf fundraiser when he shows up under the impression that it is a “tennis pros and golf ho’s” party.

3 Knows the Entire Greek Alphabet
Is it frustrating that your neighbor is unable to figure out how to unlock his door with his key, but is capable of reciting the entire Greek alphabet. Don’t be angry with him. He is naturally stupid, but he is also a former frat boy who was forced to memorize the entire Greek Alphabet while sorority girls squirted syrup all over his naked body. Unsurprisingly he also has a fetish for any pornography involving a variety of condiments and foreign language.

2 Gets Upset When Fraternities Are Criticized
Do you have a friend who flips a shit when someone says something anti-Greeklife? Whether it’s commentary about a fraternity that killed a pledge or about bad weather on a recent trip to the Greek isles, it’s only natural for a former frat boy to defend Greek life completely. After all it was the pledge’s fault for not being a good swimmer after he was forced to drink 6 liters of grain alcohol and swim laps at 4 A.M.

1 Shows up to Charity Events Wasted
Have you even found yourself at a loss for words when your newest employee showed up to a company charity event completely trashed? Don’t be upset with him. During his frat years, the word charity was synonymous with “Girls Wrestling Naked: Proceeds Go to Our Philanthropy Which Helps Kids or Cures Cancer or Makes Homeless People Smell Better or Something.”

Here’s my ethical quandary: Do you want a chick who knows how to fight or not? It’s kind of a turn-on that these girls aren’t throwing little swinging girl slaps. On the other hand, do you really want to have to pull your girlfriend away from various situations just because some girl said her hair has split ends? I need a ruling here.

For what it’s worth, I’m leaning towards “no fighting”. After watching this video of a chick catching a seizure from two hood rats in a McDonald’s, I think I’d rather date Mahatma Gandhi with boobs over lady Tyson in that link.

[Thanks for the tip, Dragon!]

'Why of course she's qualified to teach this class...have you seen her glasses AND apple?'

The class, which requires a $150 admission fee [ED. NOTE: In traditional stripper environments, this would be known as a "cover charge"], featured three exotic dancers in bikinis who serviced students and Rappaport himself with lap dances during the lesson.

Rappaport had told students that strippers were booked for the class weeks in advance, though many students expected them to be a prop in the lesson rather than so hands (and crotch) on.

Forty five minutes into the class, the dean of the Business School came into the lecture hall and broke up the class.

The school is “launching a full investigation” and Rappaport will be suspended until they come to a decision.

This just seems like a simple matter of miscommunication, in my eyes. Students came to the classroom expecting a lesson on ethics as espoused by G.W.F. Hegel. But instead, clearly Rappaport meant that he would teach the students about ethics and Kegels, also known as the exercises designed to flex and strengthen the vaginal muscles. It’s not Rappaport’s fault that his love of two interests so seemingly unrelated were misinterpreted like that.

Plus there’s a lot of things you can learn about business ethics from strippers. Mainly that the best way to get your way in this world is to vigorously rub your genitals on the crotch of someone with money. That’s pretty much our entire ad sales process here at Guyism.

Students say La Salle symposium featured strippers, lap dances [City Paper]

If you can’t bond over you and your new roommates drunkenly masturbating over the mangled corpse of your former roommate after the Great Beer Wagon Fail of 2011, then what can you bond over? Nothing brings people together quite as well as an extremely shameful secret.

[Thanks to Keith Morgan for the tip!]

As you know if you follow me on Twitter, I’m a USC alum. So any opportunity I have to publicly teabag UCLA, I’m all on board with. But it’s not in my nature to side against decent looking white blonde girls (I’m socially progressive like that), so you could imagine how difficult this is for me.

However, you really can’t watch this video and not feel uncomfortable. “Ahhhhh ching chong ling long ting tong” followed by half-hearted tsunami jokes? If you want to go after Asian people hard, fine. They, like every group of people in society, suck in a wide variety of ways. But this whole entitled white chick thing of, “Well, I mean no disrespect but here’s a bunch of wildly disrespectful things. Anywho, I’d say this about anybody, you guys!” doesn’t really make it right. Especially at UCLA. I’ve been to UCLA. There are definitely more Asian people than there are spoiled white girls (come to good ol’ SC for the latter, kids!) so I wouldn’t be shocked to find this girl diced up and in a take-home of moo goo gai pan sometime soon.

I’d still hit it though. And make her do the silly Asian voice during it. Sex isn’t good unless it shames your partner and degrades an entire sector of society, I say.

UPDATE: A UCLA spokesperson responded to the video to school paper The Daily Bruin this morning, calling it “repugnant” and saying:

“The comments on there are contrary to the values the university believes in.”

The girl, now identified as former aspiring model Alexandra Wallace, is going to be up for university review.

DOUBLE UPDATE: COED Magazine unearthed Wallace’s bikini modeling photos. You can view them here. You know, for science.

VIDEO: UCLA Student Rants Against Asians’ Cell-Phone Habits [BroBible]

“I was just very shocked to find my picture and the article saying that I was convicted of a felony murder charge,” he said, “and I was just very shocked and angry that someone put my name up there and said I did something I didn’t do.”

The situation arose when four teens committed a robbery of a home and the homeowner shot and killed one of them. Due to that teen’s death coming during a felony involving all four, the other three teens were charged with murder.

One of the teens charged was named Zachery Garcia, a letter off from the UF student. This led to police using the latter’s picture associated with the crime.

At least that got cleared up. Nothing could be worse than having someone with your name doing lame things. Like the guy who has my name and goes around helping charities and doing nice things for people. It’s damaging my street cred, bro. I have to kick five old women in their hollow uterus for every toy drive you initiate just to keep things at zero. Cut the crap.

UF student Zachary Garcia Googles himself, finds he’s accused of murder [WTSP]

If there’s one thing that’s going to get a group of college students on your side, it’s trying to turn them against each other for your anal retentive needs. Actually, college students are dicks. Especially overachieving ones. Any of them would probably sell the yawner out for an extra three points on the final and a pat on the head. Damn smart kids and your hopes and dreams and…uh…t-shirts that ironically say “COLLEGE” on them even though “Animal House” came out before you were born and your enjoyment of the film is ironic at best.

Oh, but yeah, this dude sucks. Maybe if he juggled and told raunchy jokes about frogs with engorged penises, there’d be less yawning. Just a thought.

Slight Overreaction of the Day [The Daily What]

That is a work of art. I mean seriously, I’ve been to museums…what’s more impressive: A guy stacking tires up and splashing paint on it or this kid making a competent paper (spelling and grammatical errors aside) on networks throughout history that uses the words from a baby-faced 80s one-hit wonder? I’m going with this kid every single time.

Student Hides Rick Astley’s Song In College Paper [Gizmodo]

I think one big attribute of the explosion of Internet video is how there are so many wildly unlikeable people out there. There’s the ethnically ambiguous dude who wears glasses to looks smart and thinks he’s smooth (that DD/Pee Pee joke gave me douchechills more than I could possibly articulate), there’s the camera girl who is enabling the massive waves of stupidity floating through the room. Oh and, of course, the decent looking (but not as hot as she thinks) college girl with big boobs who toes the line between adorable and mind-numbingly retarded effortlessly enough that you want to sleep with her but, if you did, you’d end up wanted to leap out a window to avoid her endless blather about her shoe breaking or whatever. Point being: I hate everyone but would still sleep with the pee girl. Preferably after cleaning up the pee but, you know, beggars can’t be choosers.

KFC Chief Marketing and Food Innovation Officer John Cywinski said, “It’s hard to imagine anyone escaped the buzz of the Double Down earlier this year. But in an effort to reach consumers coast-to-coast, and especially our key target of young men, we’ve established yet another advertising first – one that’s fitting of the Double Down’s head-turning history.”

Adrants also points out the obvious: This isn’t exactly new ground. Anyone who’s gone to college in the past 10 years can tell you that girls have been wearing logos touting various things ranging from Juicy to their sorority to adjectives about their character on their asses for a while now. I don’t know how often greasy chicken entered in the equation, but it’s still not so innovative.

Theoretically, this sounds like a combination of two of the best things on Earth…fried chicken, and nubile college girl booty. But isn’t there a line that sometimes doesn’t need to be crossed, a separation of church and state? Seeing a college girl’s ass and associating it with chicken veers a bit too hedonistic and/or Pavlovian for me. The last thing I need is to prematurely ejaculate out of reflex when eating an original recipe leg. Well, any more than usual, I suppose.

KFC Seeks Hot Ass For Bun-Vertising Stunt [Adrants]

It’s back to school time. Kids are either arriving on campus or, if in high school, beginning to pare down the schools they most want to attend in 2011. Maybe you even have a son going through this tough choice right now. So here is our contribution to the process. This year, Guyism took a look at over 100 top universities and selected the best fifty ones for men. Looking for school pride? Or perhaps trying to provide your son with a better collegiate experience than you had? Then look no further.

As for the methodology of this study, the ranking of colleges comes from points awarded across five categories: Academics, Location/Weather, Social Scene, Sports, and School Traditions. Each school received somewhere between zero and 50 points for each category (zero being worst, 50 being best). To assign points for each category, our research team created some formulas to incorporate existing authoritative college rankings such as Princeton Review’s various college rankings, US News’s college rankings, Playboy’s list of top party schools, and others. Combining those resources with our own research, we crafted this, Guyism’s 50 Best Colleges for Men.

50 Virginia Tech Blacksburg, VA

Though there may be a bit of a stigma attached to the school after the tragic 2007 shooting (first thing you notice when Googling “Virginia Tech” is a Wikipedia page about that incident), you’d be hard-pressed to find a school with as robust of an engineering program (top 20 in six undergrad specialties) and fun athletics. Couple in the 2007 and 2009 wins for “Best Campus Food” according to Princeton Review and you have a fine college selection for any man.

49 Syracuse University Syracuse, NY

If you’re looking for a solid education across a wide variety of majors and great athletics with a strong tradition, you don’t have to look farther than ‘Cuse. People participating in the fraternity and sorority social life will have a significant advantage, though the local DPS has cracked down on some of the more ruckus parties Syracuse was known for. Unfortunately, you’ll have to pack extra layers to go to school here; Syracuse ranks among the bottom of all schools surveyed for its weather.

48 New York University New York, NY

An extremely solid education across the spectrum coupled with best-in-class schools such as the Tisch School for the Arts and Stern School of Business make NYU a strong academic option. NYU is also located in the happening Greenwich Village, making the lack of a real campus something you may not care about. And a commencement ceremony at Yankee Stadium followed by a leap into the fountain at Washington Square Park is certainly an experience. But an extremely uninspired athletic program and occasionally difficult social life (good luck finding a party and, if you do, one not overrun by pretentious film students and trust fund babies) make NYU less of a traditional, fun college experience.

47 West Virginia University Morgantown, WV

West Virginia is an extremely interesting offering on this list. In terms of a collegiate social life, you may never have more fun anywhere than you would have in this former agricultural school. West Virginia ranked amongst the tops of party schools on several different rankings and it’s competitive in almost every major sport. However, the school was amongst the worst academically out of the schools we’ve ranked. Are you looking to get drunk every day and skate through class without picking up many life skills? Then welcome to West F-ckin Virginia. But those looking for a well-rounded experience may want to look elsewhere.

46 University of Oregon Eugene, OR

The University of Oregon is perhaps best known for its garish yet handsome football uniforms, but there’s a whole lot beneath the surface. Though its academics are middling, Oregon’s gorgeous location and weather go a long way for many students. But the party scene at the school has suffered from crackdowns on fraternities, banning alcohol from all Greek events. A limited selection of nearby places for nightlife don’t exactly help compensate, either. That said, did you see those uniforms and the famous Oregon cheerleaders?

45 Pepperdine University Malibu, CA

Looking for a college that reminds you of the exterior shots on “The O.C.”? Welcome to Pepperdine University. An extremely underrated academic program and the gorgeous weather of Malibu will be your main selling points here. But a built-in social life or any sports programs of notes will not be found here, unless you’re a huge fan of Men’s Volleyball. Couple in some strong religious overtones to the University (it’s affiliated with the Churches of Christ) and Pepperdine falls just a bit short in creating an exciting college vibe.

44 University of Kansas Lawrence, KS

With its quality athletic programs, sprawling campus, and robust on-campus party scene, Kansas is a quintessential Midwestern university and one of the better values in the region. There are few schools in the region with as proud of a tradition as Kansas as evidenced by the fact that we all know the school’s war cry of “Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk.” As is often the case with schools with a keen sense of tradition and eye towards athletics, Kansas is heavily weighted towards a Greek social life. But mediocre academics and the fact that, yes, you would be living in Kansas keep the school from reaching the upper echelon of schools on this list.

43 University of Kentucky Lexington, KY

Kentucky falls into the area of schools like #47 West Virginia…you’ll probably have a lot of fun in Lexington, but you may not leave particularly well-equipped to change the world (or pass a field sobriety test). The University instituted a plan in the late 90s to get the school into the realm of being a top 20 research university by 2020. Halfway through, the school has made strides in many science and health majors, rising to top 20 rankings in Princeton Review, but overall, the academic experience is still amongst the worst out of all the schools listed. Check back in a half-decade.

42 Tulane University New Orleans, LA

Tulane has always been a fun school to attend with a solid academic presence. And if you want to watch competitive games with Southeastern Louisiana University, there’s no better place to go. But where Tulane stands out is its triumph in the face of extremely adverse situations in the form of Hurricane Katrina. After the Hurricane, the school instituted mandatory community service and, overall, bonded more with the greater New Orleans area, proving to be an invaluable resource. Between that, the partying, and being in historic (and rebounding) New Orleans, Tulane is a truly unique and worthwhile college experience.

41 Louisiana State University Baton Rouge, LA

There are a lot of schools on this list, but none has struck us as being as proud of its university as LSU and its alums and fans. LSU message boards and Web sites get more traffic than almost any other university’s. There are also extremely attractive women there. Subpar academics hold the school back like alum JaMarcus Russell’s QB rating in the NFL, but hey, you can’t have it all.

40 Columbia University New York, NY

When it comes to picking an institution that holds a lot of clout across several professional fields and will also prepare you for whatever you want in life, Columbia is one of the top schools in the country. Located uptown in Manhattan, the school has a good location with an actual campus, unlike its fellow NYC college, #48 NYU, though that hardly makes Columbia a place to party. Athletically, Columbia isn’t as into rivalries as its fellow Ivy League schools, but it is rich in traditions. The school’s traditions range from an annual contest for bad poetry to a naked run around campus and even a day where seniors drink 40 ounces to celebrate graduation. If you’re willing to give up a bit of socializing for top-notch studying, Columbia should be one of your top choices.

39 University of Illinois at Urbana, Champaign Urbana, IL

The main branch of the Illinois’ state schools is a somewhat surprising entry at #40. The best way to look at the school: It’s a jack of all trades, but a master of none. With solid yet not top-level academics and a strong but not nationally powerful athletic program (a basketball team notwithstanding) along with the largest Greek system in the world, the school seems like the place to go for a well-rounded but not spectacular collegiate experience. But due to its inability to excel in any one category, U of I seems more like a good choice for students looking to stay close to home than one that warrants crossing state boundaries for.

38 Boston College Boston, MA

Boston College is another extremely well-rounded school with a sturdy academic reputation, exciting social scene both locally and sterling reviews of parties in the dorms for the anti-fratite in your life (which they need since BC has no formal Greek system), and competitive teams in every major sport. The main thing holding the school back is the sometimes frigid Boston weather. But hey, if it was good enough for Leonard “Spock” Nemoy (who attended until dropping out until 1953), then it’s probably good enough for you.

37 Arizona State University Tempe, AZ

When you think of the hedonistic college experience, odds are you’re thinking of Arizona State. A top party school according to every major ranking system that’s also located in the warm Arizona heat and frequented by many attractive citizens (a Google of “Arizona State” probably shows you all you need to know there) will undoubtedly be a great time. But what the school has in fun, weather, and traditions (see: The Undie Run), it lacks in academics, as one of the bottom 10 schools on this list.

36 Rice University Houston, TX

This placement is pretty interesting as Rice literally couldn’t be more diametrically opposed from #37 Arizona State than it is. You know how we told you Arizona State is fantastically fun but pretty bad to learn at? Well, Rice is a phenomenally unheralded educational experience (named one of Newsweek’s “New Ivies” a couple years ago) but is utterly mediocre in the “traditional party scene.” That doesn’t keep the school from such fun traditions as “Beer Bike,” an annual event dating back to 1957 in which students across all dorms race on bikes and chug beers.

]]> http://guyism.com/lifestyle/the-50-best-colleges-for-men-2010-11.html/feed 56 best-colleges-for-men Virginia Tech Syracuse NYU WVU u-oregon-cheerleaders Pepperdine KUCampus Kentucky Tulane LSU Columbia Illinois Boston College ASU rice http://guyism.com/humor/the-utah-chronicles-staff-takes-journalism-seriously.html http://guyism.com/humor/the-utah-chronicles-staff-takes-journalism-seriously.html#comments Tue, 04 May 2010 18:23:57 +0000 Chris Spags http://guyism.com/?p=54801 It’s your senior year and you’re wishing goodbye to all of your college classmates. So why not go out with some style? That’s exactly what the staff at the Daily Utah Chronicle at the University of Utah – Salt Lake City did with this subliminal message.

For a bonus Easter egg, take a look at the name of the guy in the middle.

Who knew that kids living in Utah could be so saucy? Does this mean that perhaps Utah is currently undergoing a sexual revolution not unlike the 1960s? I think so. Well, I don’t genuinely think so, but I’d really like a reason to aggressively go after Mormon girls. If a girl believes some dude found golden scrolls as the basis for her religion, she’ll fall for anything.

@Mandypandy32 [Twitter via Fark]

]]> http://guyism.com/humor/the-utah-chronicles-staff-takes-journalism-seriously.html/feed 1 x2_140f008 http://guyism.com/humor/this-is-not-a-pleasant-case-of-college-nudity.html http://guyism.com/humor/this-is-not-a-pleasant-case-of-college-nudity.html#comments Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:00:51 +0000 Chris Spags http://guyism.com/?p=53762 Whenever I hear the term “sexy nude coeds,” I’m obviously intrigued. Imagine my disappointment reading this crime alert about an encounter involving a University of Missouri – St. Louis student with a rogue sexual assaulter in a story that has it all.


Click for full-size

I really hope they get this guy. I get annoyed when someone leans on me on a subway, I can’t imagine the rage I’d feel if someone had their johnson bobbing around on my flesh. I mean, it’s ever okay to rub your genitals on someone without their explicitly stated permission, but it’s so much worse to do it to a girl in the middle of a serious academic institution. Oh, wait, it was the University of Missouri, right? Carry on.

Just kidding Missouri. Anyway, if you see someone with his dong poking into you while he’s breathing heavily, per the Missouri-St. Louis campus police, make sure to tell the cops. You know, just in case you weren’t clear and were instead planning on high-fiving him. Though, man, giving him a high five after that would probably really screw with his head. So, either one works fine then.

So the University of Missouri – St. Louis just sent out this disturbing ‘sexual misconduct’ notification to everyone on campus. [PIC] [Reddit]

]]> http://guyism.com/humor/this-is-not-a-pleasant-case-of-college-nudity.html/feed 1 watch-out-u-missouri http://guyism.com/humor/michigan-state-student-found-with-79-pairs-of-stolen-college-girl-panties.html http://guyism.com/humor/michigan-state-student-found-with-79-pairs-of-stolen-college-girl-panties.html#comments Thu, 15 Apr 2010 14:36:45 +0000 Chris Spags http://guyism.com/?p=50658 Police finally caught an unidentified 19-year-old Michigan State student with an addiction to stealing women’s underwear. Upon finding the young man, they found 79 (!) pairs of panties stolen from MSU girls in his possession.

The thief was exposed after students were notified about the looming underwear theft menace. A witness caught him stealing thongs (hopefully not red-handed, wokka wokka) from a dorm laundry room and immediately reported him to campus police.

The original complaint came from an 18-year-old MSU student who reported 15 pairs of her underwear were stolen. Of the 79 pairs of panties recovered, eight of them belonged to this girl, leaving no doubt as to who has the most delightful smelling lady bits on the entire MSU campus.

Police said the 79 pairs of underwear had an estimated value of $237 dollars. Unless my math (in the form of Microsoft Calculator) is way off, that means that each pair of underwear was valued at about $3. For comparison’s sake, the average pair of Victoria’s Secret is about $10. So that means the average Michigan State cooter devalues a pair of underwear by 70-percent the second it touches their skin. Poor girls. First they lose all their undies, then they find out that their cooch makes a pair of underwear about as valuable as dipping them in a vat of turpentine. What a harrowing experience on so many levels.

Akers Hall panty raider identified [Michigan State College Newspaper]

]]> http://guyism.com/humor/michigan-state-student-found-with-79-pairs-of-stolen-college-girl-panties.html/feed 2 pile_of_undies[1] http://guyism.com/humor/college-boys-in-speedos-panty-hose-invade-k-mart-with-sex-toys.html http://guyism.com/humor/college-boys-in-speedos-panty-hose-invade-k-mart-with-sex-toys.html#comments Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:00:13 +0000 Chris Spags http://guyism.com/?p=43009 When you’re in college, sometimes you need to blow off some steam from all the rigorous getting stoned and attempting to diddle a girl whose wardrobe consists entirely of sweatshirts with Greek letters on them. So when seven college kids went to Panama City for some fun, wackiness was expected. But perhaps not quite all of them dressing in lipstick, Speedos, panty hose, and wielding a double-donged sex toy.

One of seven visiting college students who pranked Kmart this weekend is sorry for parading around the store in costume and upsetting customers, he said Sunday.

He and six others, all men between the ages of 18 and 20, were warned they could be arrested Saturday after entering the store in costumes — including Speedos, women’s wear, at least one wizard’s outfit and a lifelike sex toy — and disturbing store patrons with their antics, according to the Bay County Sheriff’s Office.

“We weren’t thinking,” said 18-year-old Chris, who a store manager said was wearing a white dress, red panty hose and lipstick while brandishing a double-ended sex toy at the front of the store in the Saturday evening incident. “It was stupid,” he added. “I don’t know why we did it.”

This group was only here for the weekend, but they were here to have a good time on vacation.

I went to Panama City for Spring Break my freshman year of college and I’d say we also went to have a good time. I’m just glad we went when we did because apparently going now and chasing a good time means that you have to dress up like a lady with your male friends while swinging a double-dong dildo as though it were the Excalibur. Only instead of pulling it out of a rock, you’re pulling it out of two oiled up, hairy gentlemen named Carlos and Tomas. Sure, they seem awfully friendly given the circumstances, but it’s definitely a bit rude.

I’m most disappointed in the young men’s choice of location for this prank. Even if this were somehow “fun,” it just seems so disrespectful to do it somewhere as classy as K-Mart. Save that kind of horseplay for Caldor, kids.

Updated: Student sorry for Speedo, panty hose invasion [News Herald]

]]> http://guyism.com/humor/college-boys-in-speedos-panty-hose-invade-k-mart-with-sex-toys.html/feed 3 http://guyism.com/humor/rutgers-sorority-girls-arrested-for-spanking-pledges.html http://guyism.com/humor/rutgers-sorority-girls-arrested-for-spanking-pledges.html#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:23:20 +0000 Chris Spags http://guyism.com/?p=38698 Fraternities and sororities are known for having fairly unique traditions which make pledges earn their way into the elite organizations. But one sorority at Rutgers University in New Jersey is having problems with their tradition of spanking female pledges with paddles and depriving them of food, leading to six of them getting arrested and the school suspending the sorority indefinitely.

Rutgers University says it has suspended a campus sorority after six members were charged with hazing prospective pledges by paddling them and denying them food.

Police say one Rutgers University student was hurt so bad that she ended up in the hospital.

The six members who were arrested this week are charged with aggravated hazing, an indictable criminal offense, and could face disciplinary action and possible expulsion under the university’s code of conduct. They are free on $1,500 bail.

“The allegation is that they were struck by a paddle on multiple occasions,” Vice President for Student Affairs at Rutgers University Gregory Blimling said.

The students-turned-suspects are 20 and 21 years old.

I know many of you might not believe in the so-called “Greek system” in place at many universities because of stuff like this, and that seems like a reasonable notion to have. I went to school at USC and, while there, I was close with a number of sorority girls and a lot of them do things like this, particularly the imposed weight loss thing. One sorority I know of would make girls weigh in at initiation and set ridiculously difficult pound goals that the girls would have to meet for the next couple weeks. Another would take a laser pointer and point to the girls’ problem areas in front of the entire sorority house. Cruel? Yes. But they make this sacrifice not only for the sorority, but for all of us. I mean, would you be watching Girls Gone Wild if the girls were built like vats of delicious pudding? Of course not.

So here’s to you and your vicious paddlings, Sigma Gamma Rho. We thank you. And hopefully the lessons you’ve learned after your spankings and paddle beatings and eating a half of a piece of lettuce for three days will carry you on through the rest of your time at glorious Rutgers. These are the types of lessons parents just don’t teach their kids enough these days.

[ABC NY]

]]> http://guyism.com/humor/rutgers-sorority-girls-arrested-for-spanking-pledges.html/feed 13 sorority_leadimage_edit_final More Sexy Goodness Header ali sonoma miss-michigan mileycyrus Jayde-Nicole-leg show http://guyism.com/sports/happy-holidays-enter-to-win-over-250-in-sports-books.html http://guyism.com/sports/happy-holidays-enter-to-win-over-250-in-sports-books.html#comments Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:00:09 +0000 Douglas Charles http://guyism.com/?p=32181 We’ve got the ultimate prize pack for the sports fans out there who loves to read about the history of the games they follow (and even some they don’t). 13 books… over $250 in value… are up for grabs today, beginning with these two choice titles below… Happy New Year to you!

Since 1890, the Army-Navy football game has been an iconic rivalry game that provides bragging rights for the men in trenches or on boat decks around the world. It is one of the rare sporting events that transcend the arena in which it’s played. It is the essence of sport, and in 1963, it was played two weeks after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

The events leading up to this iconic game — “to those immortal Saturdays of autumn 1963, when the Navy team left its mark on both the campus of the Naval Academy and the sport of college football itself” — are chronicled in the new book THE PRESIDENT’S TEAM: The 1963 Army-Navy Game & the Assassination of JFK, by Michael Connelly. The book is a masterpiece of both sports and historical non-fiction.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy—Navy hero, husband, father, and 35th President of the United States—was a Navy man through and through. Although he went to college at Harvard, he was extremely proud of his service and loyal to his friends still in the Navy. In turn, the Navy football squad—the 44 men from across the country who represented the U.S. Naval Academy on the gridiron—was his team. JFK kept a close eye on his beloved Midshipmen, and in 1963 — as Kennedy dealt with the Soviets, Cubans, social unrest in the South, and a coming presidential election — Navy was being hailed as a “Team of Destiny.” The president and the team would be eternally and inextricably linked together.

A GAME PLAN FOR LIFE: The Power of Mentoring, by John Wooden and Don Yaeger is Wooden’s tribute to those men and women whose lives, philosophies, and faith all shaped his own. Whether they be those who mentored him on a personal level—his father, his coaches and his wife, Nellie—or those who mentored him with greater ideals and achievements during difficult circumstances—Abraham Lincoln and Mother Teresa, Wooden culls life lessons from the words, teachings and actions of those who made an impact on him.

In his 27 years at UCLA, Wooden coached an elite roster of All-American and Hall-of-Fame basketball players and their accomplishments on the court are still the gold standard for team play in sports. From 1964-1975, Coach Wooden’s Bruins dominated NCAA basketball with 335 wins, ten national champions and four undefeated seasons. These teams included basketball greats like Jamaal Wilkes, Henry Bibby, Marques Johnson, Walt Hazzard, Larry Farmer and Gail Goodrich. The second half of of the book is for those who have had there their lives enhanced with John Wooden as their mentor. The two most prominent players of the Wooden era, Lew Alcindor (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) and Bill Walton, lend their voices and memories to the book, as does one of his lesser-know UCLA players—bench-warmer Andy Hill.

Other people whom Wooden mentored add their thoughts in chapters, including the extraordinary coaches Roy Williams and Dale Brown, Wooden’s great-granddaughter Cori Nicholson, and Bob Vigars, a Canadian special education teacher, basketball coach and Wooden admirer whom the coach has never met in person. The change in point-of-view expands the work to an all-encompassing study on the methods to becoming a wise mentor and the results of having one.

Also included in this prize pack:
Hard Work: My Life On and Off the Court by UNC Coach Roy Willams
That First Season by John Eisenberg
The Beckham Experiment by Grant Wahl
On The Line by Serena Williams
The Great Book of Cleveland Sports Lists
The Great Book of Denver Sports Lists
The Great Book of Detroit Sports Lists
The Great Book of Philadelphia Sports Lists
The Great Book of Washington, DC Sports Lists
The Great Book of Los Angeles Sports Lists
The Great Book of Seattle Sports Lists

To enter just leave a comment telling us why you think you, the great sports fan that you are, deserve these books. We’ll pick the best, most creative answer to win this great prize.

The drawing will be held on Sunday, December 27. Good luck and happy holidays!

]]> http://guyism.com/sports/happy-holidays-enter-to-win-over-250-in-sports-books.html/feed 9 Enter to win over $250 in sports books for the new year! presidents team Enter to win over $250 in sports books for the new year! wooden Enter to win over $250 in sports books for the new year! http://guyism.com/humor/people-are-so-racist-against-typewriters.html http://guyism.com/humor/people-are-so-racist-against-typewriters.html#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:00:37 +0000 Chris Spags http://guyism.com/?p=31108 Some ironic lad thought it would be funny to bring a typewriter to his college lecture class. Unfortunately, society wasn’t prepared for him to be so “different” and “in their faces,” so everyone, including the professor, laughed at him. So here’s to you Typewriter Kid. You dared to be different in old-timey ways.

This is why I’d never be a good prankster. I have no doubt at all that this guy went through a lot of effort to pull off. First he had to acquire the typewriter, then carry all its heaviness to class and set it up without being too obvious to maximize the laughs. Yet this kid was committed and got it done. I’d have probably gone to get the typewriter, picked it up and went, “Waaaah this is heavy” but decided I still wanted to pull the prank off in some fashion. So instead, I’d bring a slightly older laptop with Windows 95 on it and yell out of the side of my mouth, “Haha everyone see Chris with his wacky older laptop with Windows 95 on it? What a card!” while everyone just stares at me and thinks I’m both insane and poor. You’d think they’d have inferred that from my extension cord belt already, but apparently the point needed to be driven home further.

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