Aside from making pretty much everything we use and wear, the Chinese also have a bold means of telling off parking violators: by dressing up as the star of the Tomb Raider, Lara Croft.

The above, courtesy of Kotaku, is an example of what bored college students ]]>

Aside from making pretty much everything we use and wear, the Chinese also have a bold means of telling off parking violators: by dressing up as the star of the Tomb Raider, Lara Croft.

The above, courtesy of Kotaku, is an example of what bored college students do for fun over there, apparently: they don Lara Croft garb and shoot illegally parked drivers with guns that contain suction cup bullets as ammo, handing out warnings. Why? Why not?

Remember those dudes demonstrated their skills at getting girls’ numbers while also randomly referencing video games? Well they’re back, but sticking to purely Pokemon, and with matching attire to boot.

While the first one was fairly hard to swallow, their latest is to a ridiculous degree. ]]>

Remember those dudes demonstrated their skills at getting girls’ numbers while also randomly referencing video games? Well they’re back, but sticking to purely Pokemon, and with matching attire to boot.

While the first one was fairly hard to swallow, their latest is to a ridiculous degree. I won’t be convinced unless they post some of the interactions, from initial approach to sealing the dealing, in their entirety.

Either that, or I simply need to know what college campus they’re at, ASAP.

MIT students are well known for their technologically inclined stunts. And they just managed to execute the so-called “Holy Grail of hacks” by turning one of the buildings on campus into a very large, and very playable game, of Tetris.

Apparently, there has been talks about pulling such a ]]>

MIT students are well known for their technologically inclined stunts. And they just managed to execute the so-called “Holy Grail of hacks” by turning one of the buildings on campus into a very large, and very playable game, of Tetris.

Apparently, there has been talks about pulling such a stunt all the way back since 1993, according to this MIT hackers webpage. No idea why it took so long.

Anyhow, the video above is noteworthy for one reason, and it’s not because it’s anything special. A casual search on YouTube will find countless other examples.

No, it’s because the person playing the game, presumably a MIT student, where you have to know math and science and junk, absolutely sucks. Like to a pathetic degree. Perhaps he or she was just nervous, since again, it was such a momentous occasion? But still…

A couple of college kids (seemingly LAX dudes based on the gloves?) trade blows in a dorm room. One guy taunts the other and ends up eating a fistful of justice. Hands down the most douchetastic fight you’ll see today.

This is all Michael Jordan’s fault. He ]]>

A couple of college kids (seemingly LAX dudes based on the gloves?) trade blows in a dorm room. One guy taunts the other and ends up eating a fistful of justice. Hands down the most douchetastic fight you’ll see today.

This is all Michael Jordan’s fault. He convinced society you could wag your tongue around and then there’d be some correlation to greatness. But an ability to throw caution to the wind with your tastebud carrying appendage doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to succeed or be even remotely good at anything.

Conversely, there is no established correlation between Blink 182 shirts and failure that I’m aware of. But let’s just say I’m not exactly surprised.

A Redditor claimed to have gotten this question on a college demographic survey. And one of the responses available to select is beautifully absurd.

Maybe they didn’t mean “being from China” as much as they meant “making passionate backdoor love to yourself with ]]>

A Redditor claimed to have gotten this question on a college demographic survey. And one of the responses available to select is beautifully absurd.

Maybe they didn’t mean “being from China” as much as they meant “making passionate backdoor love to yourself with an egg roll.” Or even occasionally mounting one of those plastic containers of wonton soup and going to town until your member looks like it walked through a field of toads. It’s very progressive of them if you think about it.

Some Santa Monica College students went to protest tuition hikes at a Board of Trustees meeting. This is the video of them getting pepper sprayed because “the room was too crowded” for students to come in.

The LA Times says the protests stem from a new plan ]]>

Some Santa Monica College students went to protest tuition hikes at a Board of Trustees meeting. This is the video of them getting pepper sprayed because “the room was too crowded” for students to come in.

The LA Times says the protests stem from a new plan to increases fees to somewhere between $600 and $800 for in-demand courses in order to keep class sizes down.

Either way, I think we can all agree on one thing: Right or wrong, the girl getting sprayed in the bottom left corner looks hilarious.

LESS HILARIOUS UPDATE: A 4-year-old also got pepper sprayed in the incident. Dicks.

The administration of the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology wants its professors to be nicer. But is that counterproductive to the goals of a teacher? The professors there say yes.

According to The Australian, school officials have asked professors to be more “positive” ]]>

The administration of the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology wants its professors to be nicer. But is that counterproductive to the goals of a teacher? The professors there say yes.

According to The Australian, school officials have asked professors to be more “positive” and “optimistic” as part of a new “behavioral capability framework” designed to encourage students to achieve more.

But professors have rebuffed the new initiative, saying that being overtly positive — particularly without reason to be — would be counterproductive to the goals of academia.

Encouraging professors to be optimistic when there’s little to no reason to be seems to be something that would harm students more than it’d help. Then again, it’s nice to see a country besides the US getting sucked into the pussified “participation trophies for all!” philosophy that will ultimately ruin us all

Somewhere, Paul Hogan is crying. Oh, not because he read the article. He’s just really poor and sad like all the time. Sucks.

College Professors Demand Right to Be Mean [Gawker]

For her thesis on gaming addiction, Roxanne Myers went on a 2 day long gaming binge, to see what it’s like to put one’s body through such a thing. And because she fell asleep with her legs crossed and lost circulation, she developed blood clots. Which led to her feet ]]>

For her thesis on gaming addiction, Roxanne Myers went on a 2 day long gaming binge, to see what it’s like to put one’s body through such a thing. And because she fell asleep with her legs crossed and lost circulation, she developed blood clots. Which led to her feet being partially amputated.

The tale above sounds too crazy to be real, and the way this following video opens up makes one suspicious. But as it turns out, it’s a totally true tale, and the guy is, quite simply, one of the worst interviewers ever…

Pictures of her ravaged appendages can be seen at ThoseGuys.tv, who also produced the video (warning: they are not for the faint of heart).

You know, it’s a sad tale, but for her to blame video games is just ridiculous. She was the victim of an undiagnosed condition, which could have surfaced in a variety of ways, like watching a movie or any activity in which she was inactive.

Also, seriously, what the hell is up with the interviewer? I really hope he didn’t murder her after the cameras stopped rolling.

No alcohol for your sorority’s formal? Oh no! The world is ending! At least, that’s what we’re to believe in this video of a University of Wisconsin-Madison sorority girl crying vigorously over her RA taking her dorm’s alcohol.

Maybe this wouldn’t be one of “the saddest days in history” ]]>

No alcohol for your sorority’s formal? Oh no! The world is ending! At least, that’s what we’re to believe in this video of a University of Wisconsin-Madison sorority girl crying vigorously over her RA taking her dorm’s alcohol.

Maybe this wouldn’t be one of “the saddest days in history” to most of us, but look at this girl. If ever there were a case of someone needing copious amounts of booze to get it in, even at one of the most renowned party schools in the nation, this is it. There are Fleshlights more sexually appealing than this girl.

Just $100! Not a bad deal, for a not so bad television.

I’ve mentioned Sony’s new set once before. As also previously noted, it’s quite nice! The fact that one person can watch one thing, or play a game to be exact, which the other person enjoys ]]>

Just $100! Not a bad deal, for a not so bad television.

I’ve mentioned Sony’s new set once before. As also previously noted, it’s quite nice! The fact that one person can watch one thing, or play a game to be exact, which the other person enjoys something entire different is still a modern miracle. Oh, and if both parties chooses to view the same thing, they can possibly do so in 3D (as well as not argue about who will have the audio feed that particular time).

Yes, it’s a bit on the small side, but that comes with the breaks with such technology that also won’t put you completely in the poor house, hence why the special deal on the system being even better in that regards. Though one also needs to remember that each pair costs $70, so that savings for the PS3 might be gobble dup real quick.

The small size is also due to the fact that it’s intended for college dorms, and we all know the one thing about college students: they are generally dirt poor.

I don’t think there’s any way to preface this with a degree of class like I usually aspire to, but in this clip, a bunch of drunk college girls get in some sort of “Warriors”-esque brawl…while clad in thongs. Two great tastes.

Here’s my ethical quandary: Do you want ]]>

I don’t think there’s any way to preface this with a degree of class like I usually aspire to, but in this clip, a bunch of drunk college girls get in some sort of “Warriors”-esque brawl…while clad in thongs. Two great tastes.

Here’s my ethical quandary: Do you want a chick who knows how to fight or not? It’s kind of a turn-on that these girls aren’t throwing little swinging girl slaps. On the other hand, do you really want to have to pull your girlfriend away from various situations just because some girl said her hair has split ends? I need a ruling here.

For what it’s worth, I’m leaning towards “no fighting”. After watching this video of a chick catching a seizure from two hood rats in a McDonald’s, I think I’d rather date Mahatma Gandhi with boobs over lady Tyson in that link.

[Thanks for the tip, Dragon!]

La Salle University may have originated from the teachings of the Christian Brothers but, apparently, that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to party as the school has come under fire for housing a symposium featuring lap dances and strippers. According to students, as told to Philadelphia’s ]]>

La Salle University may have originated from the teachings of the Christian Brothers but, apparently, that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to party as the school has come under fire for housing a symposium featuring lap dances and strippers.

'Why of course she's qualified to teach this class...have you seen her glasses AND apple?'

The class, which requires a $150 admission fee [ED. NOTE: In traditional stripper environments, this would be known as a "cover charge"], featured three exotic dancers in bikinis who serviced students and Rappaport himself with lap dances during the lesson.

Rappaport had told students that strippers were booked for the class weeks in advance, though many students expected them to be a prop in the lesson rather than so hands (and crotch) on.

Forty five minutes into the class, the dean of the Business School came into the lecture hall and broke up the class.

The school is “launching a full investigation” and Rappaport will be suspended until they come to a decision.

This just seems like a simple matter of miscommunication, in my eyes. Students came to the classroom expecting a lesson on ethics as espoused by G.W.F. Hegel. But instead, clearly Rappaport meant that he would teach the students about ethics and Kegels, also known as the exercises designed to flex and strengthen the vaginal muscles. It’s not Rappaport’s fault that his love of two interests so seemingly unrelated were misinterpreted like that.

Plus there’s a lot of things you can learn about business ethics from strippers. Mainly that the best way to get your way in this world is to vigorously rub your genitals on the crotch of someone with money. That’s pretty much our entire ad sales process here at Guyism.

Students say La Salle symposium featured strippers, lap dances [City Paper]

Oh, college. A time when you can live with no real-world responsibility, boys can be boys, and bonding with new roommates consists of being shoved down a flight of stairs in a shopping cart. Well, usually not the last one, but that is the case in this video.

If ]]>

Oh, college. A time when you can live with no real-world responsibility, boys can be boys, and bonding with new roommates consists of being shoved down a flight of stairs in a shopping cart. Well, usually not the last one, but that is the case in this video.

If you can’t bond over you and your new roommates drunkenly masturbating over the mangled corpse of your former roommate after the Great Beer Wagon Fail of 2011, then what can you bond over? Nothing brings people together quite as well as an extremely shameful secret.

[Thanks to Keith Morgan for the tip!]

In the annals of racist rants, it’s definitely tough to top this one. In fact, I think anyone watching this video of a white blonde girl from UCLA going off on Asians who use their cell phones in the library would probably go, “You need to dial that back.” Even ]]>

In the annals of racist rants, it’s definitely tough to top this one. In fact, I think anyone watching this video of a white blonde girl from UCLA going off on Asians who use their cell phones in the library would probably go, “You need to dial that back.” Even the manufacturers of these would be like, “Um, kind of overstepping a bit there, darling.”

As you know if you follow me on Twitter, I’m a USC alum. So any opportunity I have to publicly teabag UCLA, I’m all on board with. But it’s not in my nature to side against decent looking white blonde girls (I’m socially progressive like that), so you could imagine how difficult this is for me.

However, you really can’t watch this video and not feel uncomfortable. “Ahhhhh ching chong ling long ting tong” followed by half-hearted tsunami jokes? If you want to go after Asian people hard, fine. They, like every group of people in society, suck in a wide variety of ways. But this whole entitled white chick thing of, “Well, I mean no disrespect but here’s a bunch of wildly disrespectful things. Anywho, I’d say this about anybody, you guys!” doesn’t really make it right. Especially at UCLA. I’ve been to UCLA. There are definitely more Asian people than there are spoiled white girls (come to good ol’ SC for the latter, kids!) so I wouldn’t be shocked to find this girl diced up and in a take-home of moo goo gai pan sometime soon.

I’d still hit it though. And make her do the silly Asian voice during it. Sex isn’t good unless it shames your partner and degrades an entire sector of society, I say.

UPDATE: A UCLA spokesperson responded to the video to school paper The Daily Bruin this morning, calling it “repugnant” and saying:

“The comments on there are contrary to the values the university believes in.”

The girl, now identified as former aspiring model Alexandra Wallace, is going to be up for university review.

DOUBLE UPDATE: COED Magazine unearthed Wallace’s bikini modeling photos. You can view them here. You know, for science.

VIDEO: UCLA Student Rants Against Asians’ Cell-Phone Habits [BroBible]

There are lots of terrible things you could find when Googling yourself…derogatory things being said, maybe even a rogue sex tape with your stuffed Care Bears. But how about your face linked with a murder? That’s what happened to University of Florida student Zachary Garcia. Garcia ]]>

There are lots of terrible things you could find when Googling yourself…derogatory things being said, maybe even a rogue sex tape with your stuffed Care Bears. But how about your face linked with a murder? That’s what happened to University of Florida student Zachary Garcia.

Garcia learned about his face being used in connection to a murder charge after searching for himself on Google. Garcia told local news station WTSP:

“I was just very shocked to find my picture and the article saying that I was convicted of a felony murder charge,” he said, “and I was just very shocked and angry that someone put my name up there and said I did something I didn’t do.”

The situation arose when four teens committed a robbery of a home and the homeowner shot and killed one of them. Due to that teen’s death coming during a felony involving all four, the other three teens were charged with murder.

One of the teens charged was named Zachery Garcia, a letter off from the UF student. This led to police using the latter’s picture associated with the crime.

At least that got cleared up. Nothing could be worse than having someone with your name doing lame things. Like the guy who has my name and goes around helping charities and doing nice things for people. It’s damaging my street cred, bro. I have to kick five old women in their hollow uterus for every toy drive you initiate just to keep things at zero. Cut the crap.

UF student Zachary Garcia Googles himself, finds he’s accused of murder [WTSP]

When you pay for a prestigious institution like Cornell, you’re expecting the finest in facilities and educators to enlighten you and prepare you for tomorrow. So how could you possibly do any better than getting your ass reamed out by Professor Talbert for yawning in the middle of his class? ]]>

When you pay for a prestigious institution like Cornell, you’re expecting the finest in facilities and educators to enlighten you and prepare you for tomorrow. So how could you possibly do any better than getting your ass reamed out by Professor Talbert for yawning in the middle of his class?

If there’s one thing that’s going to get a group of college students on your side, it’s trying to turn them against each other for your anal retentive needs. Actually, college students are dicks. Especially overachieving ones. Any of them would probably sell the yawner out for an extra three points on the final and a pat on the head. Damn smart kids and your hopes and dreams and…uh…t-shirts that ironically say “COLLEGE” on them even though “Animal House” came out before you were born and your enjoyment of the film is ironic at best.

Oh, but yeah, this dude sucks. Maybe if he juggled and told raunchy jokes about frogs with engorged penises, there’d be less yawning. Just a thought.

Slight Overreaction of the Day [The Daily What]

Some of these student papers out there strike me as inherently fake, but this effort by one Reddit user to embed Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” in his computer science paper is particularly masterful.

That is a work of art. I mean seriously, I’ve ]]>

Some of these student papers out there strike me as inherently fake, but this effort by one Reddit user to embed Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” in his computer science paper is particularly masterful.

That is a work of art. I mean seriously, I’ve been to museums…what’s more impressive: A guy stacking tires up and splashing paint on it or this kid making a competent paper (spelling and grammatical errors aside) on networks throughout history that uses the words from a baby-faced 80s one-hit wonder? I’m going with this kid every single time.

Student Hides Rick Astley’s Song In College Paper [Gizmodo]

I’m not sure if the people in this video are acting or if they’re completely retarded. I’m hoping for the latter because, if this is a viral video for something, I want to stab that product in the face and makes its children into orphans. But anyway, we present to ]]>

I’m not sure if the people in this video are acting or if they’re completely retarded. I’m hoping for the latter because, if this is a viral video for something, I want to stab that product in the face and makes its children into orphans. But anyway, we present to you a hot girl crying over peeing herself with a BONUS retarded college-aged male who doesn’t know the difference between a vagina and a urethra.

I think one big attribute of the explosion of Internet video is how there are so many wildly unlikeable people out there. There’s the ethnically ambiguous dude who wears glasses to looks smart and thinks he’s smooth (that DD/Pee Pee joke gave me douchechills more than I could possibly articulate), there’s the camera girl who is enabling the massive waves of stupidity floating through the room. Oh and, of course, the decent looking (but not as hot as she thinks) college girl with big boobs who toes the line between adorable and mind-numbingly retarded effortlessly enough that you want to sleep with her but, if you did, you’d end up wanted to leap out a window to avoid her endless blather about her shoe breaking or whatever. Point being: I hate everyone but would still sleep with the pee girl. Preferably after cleaning up the pee but, you know, beggars can’t be choosers.

There has not been a thing about the creation of the Double Down I haven’t loved. From the tribute to excess, to the marketing, to all the fun people had with it online, it’s been a treat. And now, here’s something I should also theoretically love about it: ]]>

There has not been a thing about the creation of the Double Down I haven’t loved. From the tribute to excess, to the marketing, to all the fun people had with it online, it’s been a treat. And now, here’s something I should also theoretically love about it: KFC is using marketing on college girl’s asses to sell the sandwich. Double yum.

Via Adrants comes this comment from KFC’s chief marketing officer:

KFC Chief Marketing and Food Innovation Officer John Cywinski said, “It’s hard to imagine anyone escaped the buzz of the Double Down earlier this year. But in an effort to reach consumers coast-to-coast, and especially our key target of young men, we’ve established yet another advertising first – one that’s fitting of the Double Down’s head-turning history.”

Adrants also points out the obvious: This isn’t exactly new ground. Anyone who’s gone to college in the past 10 years can tell you that girls have been wearing logos touting various things ranging from Juicy to their sorority to adjectives about their character on their asses for a while now. I don’t know how often greasy chicken entered in the equation, but it’s still not so innovative.

Theoretically, this sounds like a combination of two of the best things on Earth…fried chicken, and nubile college girl booty. But isn’t there a line that sometimes doesn’t need to be crossed, a separation of church and state? Seeing a college girl’s ass and associating it with chicken veers a bit too hedonistic and/or Pavlovian for me. The last thing I need is to prematurely ejaculate out of reflex when eating an original recipe leg. Well, any more than usual, I suppose.

KFC Seeks Hot Ass For Bun-Vertising Stunt [Adrants]