The good news: this movie stars Will Ferrell and Zach Galifinakis. The bad news: it’s directed by the guy who made Dinner For Schmucks. Comedy directors get off easy most of the time – if the stars are funny and the material is good, all they have to do is ]]>

The good news: this movie stars Will Ferrell and Zach Galifinakis. The bad news: it’s directed by the guy who made Dinner For Schmucks. Comedy directors get off easy most of the time – if the stars are funny and the material is good, all they have to do is point the camera in the right direction. With two great screen personalities in the lead, The Campaign looks like a winner on paper, but for some reason Warner Brothers tapped schlockmeister Jay Roach to direct. You may remember him from the Austin Powers movies. Do you still think those were funny? Yeah, me neither. But maybe this time will be different.

You ready to fill your worthless brain with some pure, uncut Busey? If you’re not, GTFO this site and go drink a wine cooler. The craziest actor in the game is starring in the upcoming Piranha 3DD, which is exactly what you think it is: more blood and more boobs, ]]>

You ready to fill your worthless brain with some pure, uncut Busey? If you’re not, GTFO this site and go drink a wine cooler. The craziest actor in the game is starring in the upcoming Piranha 3DD, which is exactly what you think it is: more blood and more boobs, in that order. Some enterprising souls got their hands on an outtake reel of Busey just being himself on-set, and it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Whether it’s sharing his personal piranha-disposal method (it involves dynamite) or listing all the breeds of cows he knows, you’re sure to learn something here.

Undeniable fact: New Girl only became funny when they transformed Schmidt from the “nice guy” to the “douchebag.” Dig this video. In the early episodes of the show, Max Greenfield’s character was the uber-sensitive, likable roommate, but as the show’s gone on he’s revealed his inner tool, morphing into ]]>

Undeniable fact: New Girl only became funny when they transformed Schmidt from the “nice guy” to the “douchebag.” Dig this video. In the early episodes of the show, Max Greenfield’s character was the uber-sensitive, likable roommate, but as the show’s gone on he’s revealed his inner tool, morphing into one of the funniest supporting characters on TV. In response to a recent piece on Vulture, Schmidt has released a video letting all of us in on how he gets into such remarkable shape. Hint: spinning. It’s pretty freaking funny.

Really all I should have to say is “Simon Pegg” and you’d be clicking this, but here’s some more words. Murder. Milk. Hedgehogs. The Shaun Of The Dead star Tweeted the trailer to his new flick, A Fantastic Fear Of Everything, over the weekend, and it owns. Pegg plays a ]]>

Really all I should have to say is “Simon Pegg” and you’d be clicking this, but here’s some more words. Murder. Milk. Hedgehogs. The Shaun Of The Dead star Tweeted the trailer to his new flick, A Fantastic Fear Of Everything, over the weekend, and it owns. Pegg plays a former children’s book author who becomes obsessed with murder, much to the detriment of his own sanity. With some seriously Dutch camera angles and a very creepy stuffed hedgehog, I’m already sold. The flick opens in June.

Do you really want to get practical jokes played on you by geriatrics? NBC thinks so. The network has announced that 90 year old Betty White, former Golden Girls star turned inexplicable pop culture phenomenon, will executive produce and host Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, a ]]>

Do you really want to get practical jokes played on you by geriatrics? NBC thinks so. The network has announced that 90 year old Betty White, former Golden Girls star turned inexplicable pop culture phenomenon, will executive produce and host Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, a hidden camera prank show in the vein of Punk’d that uses old people as the jokesters. Who wants to put $5 against there being a “I’m having a heart attack” bit in the first three episodes? I’ll also lay $10 that one of the aged actors actually does have a heart attack and they have to shut the show down, Luck-style. Betty White’s Off Their Rockers premieres Wednesday, April 4th at 8PM.

Video games are popular these days so I guess it only makes sense that it be part of some routine for some hack funny guy who is one TBS sitcom deal away from total oblivion.

So I used to LOVE late night talk shows, but can’t stomach it anymore. Why? ]]>

Video games are popular these days so I guess it only makes sense that it be part of some routine for some hack funny guy who is one TBS sitcom deal away from total oblivion.

So I used to LOVE late night talk shows, but can’t stomach it anymore. Why? Tech talk. Specifically, tech jokes. I can’t explain it, but something really rubs me the wrong way when any of the late night talk show hosts approach the subject, which is happening a lot lately. Have you seen Letterman fuss around with Twitter these days? It’s comedy death, I tells you. And Jimmy Fallon sucks normally, but his iPhone bits are the worst.

I dunno, I’d rather them just stick with jokes about the news, celebrities, and other stuff that such personalities have used as staples since the dawn of television. It’s cool if they want to lightly touch upon something in a “can you believe the kids are into?!?!” kind of way. Still, given the popularity of games in culture, it’s unavoidable. Hence we have a guy making jokes abut one of my favorite games (not really) Heavy Rain…

Okay, that wasn’t so bad, since it’s similar to the “what in the flying f…” viewpoint that I touched upon. But what about this other guy, addressing Zynga, makers of Farmville…

Okay, so the guy isn’t a real stand-up, just a game developer, trying to be funny while presenting his game. And granted, virtually any kind of presentation that is aimed at a specific audience that you’re not a part of, especially when its vocational, is going to be completely confusing. Still, even those who do know what he’s talking about will be hard pressed to tell if he’s joking or not. For the record: he’s trying to be tongue in cheek.

They say sarcasm is impossible to properly convey online, for obvious reasons. But in real life, if people still can’t tell? Then best to avoid jokes, entirely.

And Rob Riggle, who was practically born to play the role of the Call of Duty Elite’s spokesperson, will tell you everything you need to know.

I’ll be completely honest; I could give a rat’s ass about Call of Duty, when you really get down to it. I’ll obviously feature ]]>

And Rob Riggle, who was practically born to play the role of the Call of Duty Elite’s spokesperson, will tell you everything you need to know.

I’ll be completely honest; I could give a rat’s ass about Call of Duty, when you really get down to it. I’ll obviously feature it here, whenever the opportunity or need arises, since I know it’s popular, whereas my eccentric tastes are not. But I have absolutely no problem with passing along the following…

Before going any further, allow me to profess my bromantic feelings for Rob Riggle. That guy is, quite simply, the man. I first saw him years ago, at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, here in New York City. Among the many shows in which he was the star of was Piledriver, the UCB’s sketch comedy-infused wrestling showcase, where he played the top heel, a grim reaper that constantly suffered from diarrhea due to crappy local Mexican food.

I’ve tried following his career ever since, but lacking cable has made it tricky. He was the only reason why I bothered watching Saturday Night Live, and the fact that he was on the air a grand total of three times his entire run is reason why I officially don’t watch it any more. He’s been in some movies, and I’m guessing his bit parts are the highlights. Anyhow, he’s the perfect guy to bit a COD pitchman, since he’s also an ex Marine himself. Dude’s no joke.

Hence why he’s so effective in fulfilling his mission objective of pimping Elite, by listing all the key features that makes an Elite membership the key to the higher echelons of success, plus all the little extras. I actually have no problems with him using gaming terminology outside that world, which normally gives me douchchills! Again, he’s legit.

The real meat of the deal is how one can save money with said membership; instead of nabbing 4 sets of DLC map packs, at $15 a pop, you can get everything for just the money saving price of just a $50 flat fee. Again, I am so entranced by Riggle to not even realize how that’s practically the price of an entire game! As many in YouTube section have pointed out.

Which is why not everyone is on board with Elite quite yet, nor the biggest fans of Activision (even among those that still picked up Modern Warfare 3). As for myself, I’d happily buy the game if Riggle were all over it, doing voiceovers, handling tutorials, what have you. Or simply was a part of the service instead of being its pitchman. Otherwise, it’s content doesn’t seem quite as compelling…

God, what I would pay for Riggle to scream at these guys for whatever the hell reason. Seriously, are people watching this? Also, was both Ridley and Tony Scott’s names listed executive producers? The men behind Blade Runner and Top Gun?!?!

Anyhow, today is the day in which the first of the four aforementioned slices of DLC hits the virtual marketplaces. Though I believe Xbots get it first. You’re still getting “saving money” with the membership on the PS3, yet you’re still getting shafted. What a deal, huh?

Ross Everett put 50 New Year’s resolutions on video and, though they seem like ones you or anyone you know might have, they’re much much funnier. Take it away, Ross.

Best wishes to Ross in finding a girl named Charity. It will take approximately five minutes at any local ]]>

Ross Everett put 50 New Year’s resolutions on video and, though they seem like ones you or anyone you know might have, they’re much much funnier. Take it away, Ross.

Best wishes to Ross in finding a girl named Charity. It will take approximately five minutes at any local strip club. Godspeed.

Early Bird Special [The Daily What]

I was catching up on this week’s “Opie and Anthony” shows and, for some reason, this comedian came up. Meet Alonzo “Hamburger” Jones. He was a moderately successful comedian who was on the Def Jam Comedy HBO shows in the 90s. And he loves saying the word “hamburger” during his ]]>

I was catching up on this week’s “Opie and Anthony” shows and, for some reason, this comedian came up. Meet Alonzo “Hamburger” Jones. He was a moderately successful comedian who was on the Def Jam Comedy HBO shows in the 90s. And he loves saying the word “hamburger” during his act.

According to some older bios, Jones used the word “hamburger” instead of cursing. Hence why the word “hamburger” comes out approximately 10,000 times in a five minute set.

That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? Curses are just words we assign meaning to. So if you assign a curse meaning to “hamburger”, it’s still just a curse. Like if I tell you, “Dude, this hamburger was sucking my hamburger the other day. I jerked her head back and that little hamburger hamburgered my hamburger until I hamburgered so hard it shot a hole in her hamburger,” you’d still get the drift of my story. And probably want to have sex with a hamburger.

@opieradio [Twitter]

“Community” star Donald Glover is a funny dude so there’s a good chance a video of him ordering a sandwich would be hilarious. But this video of him breaking down his somewhat random candidacy for Spider-Man and the #donaldglover4spiderman meme from a stand-up show at the Comedy Connection in Rhode ]]>

“Community” star Donald Glover is a funny dude so there’s a good chance a video of him ordering a sandwich would be hilarious. But this video of him breaking down his somewhat random candidacy for Spider-Man and the #donaldglover4spiderman meme from a stand-up show at the Comedy Connection in Rhode Island is pretty entertaining and revelatory of the randomness of Internet trends.

On the plus side for Donald Glover, at least he doesn’t have to go to work dressed like this everyday. The costume for Spider-Man in the Andrew Garfield-led reboot looks like it’d better fit the 2041 Sports Illustrated “Gay Men in Body Paint” issue. Once Brett Favre’s illegitimate son came out of retirement as the first openly gay quarterback for the New New York Giants, things really accelerated quickly.

Hear Donald Glover’s Thoughts on His Spider-Man Twitter Campaign [Vulture]

More than a year ago, I posted a video of a gentleman named Darrell Bluett and called him the worst comedian ever. But that title may have been usurped. Meet Daniel Songer. This is his stand-up comedy act.

Maybe his brand of comedy won’t work for everyone, ]]>

More than a year ago, I posted a video of a gentleman named Darrell Bluett and called him the worst comedian ever. But that title may have been usurped. Meet Daniel Songer. This is his stand-up comedy act.

Maybe his brand of comedy won’t work for everyone, but you have to respect how he’s taking his art form to dangerous and edgy places. Like he’s talking about relationships AND yelling to accentuate punchlines? My God! I’ve never seen such a thing! And of course, being a student of stand-up comedy as I am, I can completely vouch that the best way to make a joke is just to repeat the same thing multiple times while getting louder each time. Oh and to march in place like a happy cat combined with an autistic child. Comedy 101, folks.

The best worst comedian and Morning Links [FilmDrunk]

For some reason comedians have generally been second tier in showbiz and never gotten the same accolades as musicians or actors. When the late great Rodney Dangerfield said “I get no respect” he might as well have been talking about comics in general. No other type of performer seeks ]]>

For some reason comedians have generally been second tier in showbiz and never gotten the same accolades as musicians or actors. When the late great Rodney Dangerfield said “I get no respect” he might as well have been talking about comics in general. No other type of performer seeks to elicit a bodily reaction from the audience, whether it’s a chuckle, snicker, or gut busting guffaw. These nine performers were masters at their craft and often delivered an underlying message at the same time. They may be gone, but their humor is not forgotten.

10 Chris Farley
One of the funniest guys to come out of SNL’s powerhouse cast of the ‘90s, Chris Farley used his body to push physical comedy to the max. Whether trying to save a small Ohio auto parts factory in Tommy Boy or giving an interview to a fresh faced Conan O’Brien, he came across as the guy everyone wanted to be friends with. An all American kid from Wisconsin, he emerged from the Chicago improv scene and dominated nearly every sketch he was in. Not only was he a gifted performer, but spent much of his free time volunteering and giving to charitable organizations. Sadly, he also spent a lot of time battling inner demons with drugs and booze. Nobody wore a sports jacket three sizes too small better than he did.

9 Phil Hartman
A master of voices and impersonations, Phil Hartman could slip into the skin of just about anybody and find the funny. The Canadian born actor started as a graphic designer but soon found his calling in the world of sketch and became a standout with LA’s Groundlings comedy troupe before joining SNL in the mid 1980s. He got the nickname “the glue” while at Saturday Night Live for his ability to hold the show together and help out fellow cast members with characters. In addition to his time with Lorne Michaels and company he lent his talent to Pee Wee’s Playhouse, NewsRadio and The Simpsons. The laughs were cut short when his wife, a struggling actress, shot and murdered him while he slept in 1998.

8 Bernie Mac
There’s something about the mid-west, especially Chicago that spits out funny comics. Like Chris Farley and John Belushi, Bernie Mac came out of Chi-town not on the sketch scene but as a stand-up. He played the club circuit for nearly two decades before catching a break that led to a successful string of movies and a television show that garnered him two Emmy nominations. One of the original “Kings of Comedy”, Mac had a stage presence that came across as a bit of a curmudgeon that was often grumpy but meant well. His character in the dark holiday comedy Bad Santa is one of the funniest performances of his film career and utilized his humor perfectly.

7 George Carlin
There really isn’t much to be said about George Carlin that hasn’t already been said a thousand times by fans, critics or his peers. The guy churned out more material than just about any other stand-up comic in history and developed a stage persona from straight laced, to hippie, to angry social commentator. It seems like the older George got the more he had to say, and he knew exactly how to say it. The guy was a master wordsmith and truly loved the English language. Carlin did just about everything possible in comedy, from being the first host of Saturday Night Live, to writing books, acting and performing 14 HBO stand-up specials. Nobody did more with a microphone than George.

6 Jim Varney
If you were a kid in the 1980s with a working television, then you probably remember the rubber faced, goof Earnest P. Worrell. A master at voices Varney started as a stand-up comic and actor working clubs and dinner theaters in the south before moving to New York. The guy was famous of for playing the dim-witted but good natured Earnest, but was always an underrated comic actor who lent his talents to everything from The Johnny Cash Show, to The Simpsons, and a slew of films. Earnest warned us about the dangers of cigarettes, but didn’t heed his own advice and smoked up until the day he died.

5 John Candy
Comedy movies in the 1980s were almost entirely dominated by four guys — Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy and John Candy. Another Canadian born funny man on the list, John Candy came to prominence on one of the best sketch comedy shows ever — Second City TV. He was the goofy older uncle that everyone wishes they had… probably where the idea for Uncle Buck came from. The constant smartass, he came across as funny without even trying. If you haven’t seen Stripes, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, or Space Balls in awhile do yourself the favor and enjoy the funny man from up north at his best.

4 Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg came across like that guy at a party that might have taken too much acid, a little odd, but certainly hilarious and worth listening to. Everything about the guy was offbeat, from his shy stage presence to almost stream of conscience one liners. He had a keen comedic ear for pointing out the absurdities of language and a delivery that was fun to watch. Hiding behind sunglasses and long hair, he had a distinctive delivery that was all his own and fit the material perfectly. Although he never became a household name, through constant touring and late night television appearances he developed a rabid following that has only grown after his death. If you ever got the chance to see Mitch perform live, consider yourself lucky. It’s a damn shame that his stage time ran up when it did.

3 Bill Hicks
One of the original “Texas Outlaws of Comedy”, Bill Hicks went on stage and put his opinions out there in a way nobody else at the time was doing. He was anti-corporate, anti- organized religion, anti-commercialism, but most of all he was anti-bullshit. He was about honesty and breaking down the walls that kept society and people from reaching their full potential. He didn’t cater to his audience or take the short cut to a laugh; he made them come to him. If you didn’t get him he didn’t care, that was your problem. If cancer hadn’t snuffed Bill out who knows what kinda brilliant material he would have continued to produce. A lot has happened in the world since his death in 1994, and there’s no doubt, that wherever Bill is he’s got an opinion on the state of things and not afraid to share it.

2 John Belushi
One of the original “not ready for prime time players” John Belushi nearly became a comedy hero overnight for pushing the envelope of comedy on the first few seasons of Saturday Night Live. It wasn’t a far stretch from reality for Belushi to play the hard partying frat guy in one of the biggest comedies of all time, Animal House. Unfortunately, it was the hard partying life that did Belushi in too early, at only 33 years old after overdosing on a speedball (a mix of cocaine and heroin). It was this same concoction that would later play a part in the death stand-up comic Mitch Hedberg. Oddly enough, Belushi joked in a 1977 episode of SNL that he’d be dead by 30. It’s too bad that he only surpassed this by a few years. The guy was an enormous talent that was only getting started.

1 Richard Pryor
Considered by many to be the greatest comedian of all time, Richard Pryor broke the mold when he stepped on stage and nobody has matched him since. If pain equals comedy then it’s no wonder that Richard was so funny. He grew up in a brothel, struggled with drug addiction, set himself on fire, had problems with the law, and more than his fair share of woman troubles — and what did he do with it? He put it all out there for the public to see and instead of feel sorry for him they laughed with him. A master story teller, he had charisma, wit, and delivery like nobody else. If Lenny Bruce opened the door for purely honest raw comedy, Richard broke it off the hinges. Without Richard Pryor there would be no Chris Rock, Louis C.K., Bill Hicks or Dave Chappelle.

As you may know, I dabble in stand-up comedy. And it is not easy, rest assured. But then sometimes you see a transcendent talent make it look so easy. This is not one of those times. Meet Tron!

I really liked what he was going for ]]>

As you may know, I dabble in stand-up comedy. And it is not easy, rest assured. But then sometimes you see a transcendent talent make it look so easy. This is not one of those times. Meet Tron!

I really liked what he was going for here because the topics are so relatable. Like who hasn’t had Pol Pot come up to them like, “Why you wearin’ glasses dawg” and you’re just like, “Oh I want to look smart but I am not!” And then Pol Pot is all like, “Damn son you could get killed for dat.” And then he kills you and your whole family! We have all been there, man!

But is Tron worse at stand-up comedy than this guy? You decide.

I’m rooting for Jimmy Fallon’s show even though I’m still waiting for him to hit his stride. And one of the reasons is that he has funny people like Anthony Jeselnik writing for him. Take a look at his set from last night’s show, the first stand-up ]]>

I’m rooting for Jimmy Fallon’s show even though I’m still waiting for him to hit his stride. And one of the reasons is that he has funny people like Anthony Jeselnik writing for him. Take a look at his set from last night’s show, the first stand-up act on the show thus far.

How can you not root for someone who follows up a domestic violence joke with a kiddy porn joke? Especially if you read this site. It’s like seeing an adorable puppy dog and opting to kick it in the throat rather than scratch its belly and go, “Who’s my little man? Who’s my little man?”

I can’t say I approve of the Asian humor though. I mean, for f’s sake, there has to be some dumb Asian person out there who’s really offended by the fact that every time an Asian joke is made, it’s about how intelligent they are. But then he looks down at his small penis and goes, “Ahh, all is right in the world.”

[you'd have seen this clip earlier today if you were following me on Twitter. dicks.]

I recently started doing stand-up (by recently I mean yesterday…I’ll keep you guys abreast when I get good enough to actually want you to come to a show) so I recognize how difficult it is to be a comedian. But check out this guy and his attempt at comedy. It’s ]]>

I recently started doing stand-up (by recently I mean yesterday…I’ll keep you guys abreast when I get good enough to actually want you to come to a show) so I recognize how difficult it is to be a comedian. But check out this guy and his attempt at comedy. It’s so bad that it’s AMAZING.

He does all the things a comedian should do, with analogies and really visual things like “She bigger than my great grandmother” or “People eatin’ they banola bars!”…things the common man can really relate to. Also I hear that wearing a red beret is key, both for stand-up comedy and impersonating Idi Amin.

This is pretty much the saddest thing in American history though, so you owe it to yourself to watch and pay tribute. There should be a monument and a reflecting pool somewhere for this guy.

[via]

Via XKCD, the preferred comic of surly Internet nerds who enjoy waking up to a good Pythagorean theorem joke.

See guys, I am a valuable resource. You see that Funny Pictures tag up above? Yeah, it’s like having a surplus of gold bars…and ]]>

Via XKCD, the preferred comic of surly Internet nerds who enjoy waking up to a good Pythagorean theorem joke.

See guys, I am a valuable resource. You see that Funny Pictures tag up above? Yeah, it’s like having a surplus of gold bars…and laughs. Money hasn’t been this funny since I once was tripping on shrooms and thought Andrew Jackson was recreating an old Sinbad stand-up bit. Black people sure did walk like this but white people also are always walking like this. Brilliant.

]]> http://guyism.com/uncategorized/a-new-currency-in-difficult-economic-times.html/feed 1 A new currency in difficult economic times photo