In this latest Guyism Original, mediocre Marvel superhero 3D Man (mild mannered Guyism video producer Ryan Jones), original version pictured below, goes to New York Comic Con 2011 with a petition to get himself to be the next great comic book hero movie.

On Tuesday May 4th, Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment will release IRON MAN: THE COMPLETE 1994 ANIMATED TELEVISION SERIES and X-MEN: Vol. 5 on DVD! And we have three sets of each to give away to you, our loyal reader!

Nick Fury, War Machine, Scarlet Witch, Spider Woman, Hawkeye, ]]>

On Tuesday May 4th, Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment will release IRON MAN: THE COMPLETE 1994 ANIMATED TELEVISION SERIES and X-MEN: Vol. 5 on DVD! And we have three sets of each to give away to you, our loyal reader!

Nick Fury, War Machine, Scarlet Witch, Spider Woman, Hawkeye, Whiplash, and of course, Iron Man, are all here in this 3-disc collector’s edition. While the X-Men 2-disc-set contains the final episode, Graduation Day, with 14 episodes in all. Complete your X-men collection with this must-own final installment of this great animated series.

I know that these DVD’s are going to be greatly enjoyed by our winners because when I showed them to my four year-old son, his reaction was, “This is awesome!” You can’t get a better review than that, folks. I also happened to “review” them (strictly for educational purposes, of course) and I must concur. These videos are really, really good.

All you have to do to enter is tell us who your all-time favorite superhero is and why (yes, it’s a two-part response – you can do it) in the comments below. On Wednesday, May 5, we’ll select six winners at random to receive these fun and valuable collector’s items. It’s that simple!

To help get you in the mood, here’s a couple of clips from the DVDs…

I think this little comic from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal pretty much sums up what happens to cause our computers to “suddenly become infected” by a virus, guys. Sure, we like to blame it on our computers not doing what we want them to do, but in reality ]]>

I think this little comic from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal pretty much sums up what happens to cause our computers to “suddenly become infected” by a virus, guys. Sure, we like to blame it on our computers not doing what we want them to do, but in reality the fault almost always lies within one four letter word that starts with “p” and ends with “orn”…

The best Internet comics are ones that make you laugh and teach you a little bit about the human condition. Like this one. Also good are ones that put a clever spin in popular culture, as seen in this reveal of the mythology behind Oscar the Grouch. ]]>

The best Internet comics are ones that make you laugh and teach you a little bit about the human condition. Like this one. Also good are ones that put a clever spin in popular culture, as seen in this reveal of the mythology behind Oscar the Grouch.

Well, I could certainly see how that would make someone feel grouchy. That’s definitely a pretty stunning revelation into Oscar’s character. And it should be a reminder that no matter how crusty and difficult someone may seem on the outside, you should cut them some slack because there’s no telling what they’ve been through. Seriously…I had no clue Oscar the Grouch was secretly an Asian woman.

[Reddit]

Nobody ever said that continuing on the career path of a superhero would be easy. What with the sewing of costumes and having to run a lot. But I’m pretty sure you’d find it difficult it to know what you were getting into if you were in a situation like ]]>

Nobody ever said that continuing on the career path of a superhero would be easy. What with the sewing of costumes and having to run a lot. But I’m pretty sure you’d find it difficult it to know what you were getting into if you were in a situation like The Flash.

I get this is old and all, but how is this something that ropes readers in? If I were a kid seeing this, I’d probably go, “Oh cool, The Flash! Wait, why is he a puppet? Meh, time for me to get into hardcore pornography.” I don’t think that comes from a sexual attraction to puppets, but rather the puppets signaling the end of my youth due to how lame it is. Okay, perhaps a bit of a sexual attraction. You have to admit, there’s something very appealing to a mouth that can’t say no and opens via a well-placed string. It’s why Mute Becky the Mediocre Trapeze Artist was always the top attraction at the circus.

[thanks Carl for the tip]

I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know everything about comic books. But I do know a lot about protruding boners at inappropriate times, and it seems like the Scarlet Spider is indeed seconds away from shooting web at the prospect of seeing Lady Deadpool in this photo. ]]>

I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know everything about comic books. But I do know a lot about protruding boners at inappropriate times, and it seems like the Scarlet Spider is indeed seconds away from shooting web at the prospect of seeing Lady Deadpool in this photo.

Sure Lady Deadpool’s body looks good in skintight lycra, but that’s hardly boner inducing. I mean, anyone in shape could look good in skintight lycra. You could probably take Robert Reed in his final days, shove some Nerf balls in this costume, and parade him around as the bell of the ball and all the guys would be fawning all over him (in between breaks for soup). So I guess my point is that you should try to conserve your boners more. Reduce your carboner footprint.

[Bleeding Cool]

Via Rob and Elliot is this humorous spin on Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes fame and his made-up penchant for peeing on car logos on people’s window stickers.

I never understood the appeal of Calvin and Hobbes. It was cute sometimes but people ]]>

Via Rob and Elliot is this humorous spin on Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes fame and his made-up penchant for peeing on car logos on people’s window stickers.

I never understood the appeal of Calvin and Hobbes. It was cute sometimes but people act like it’s this amazing life-changing thing when it’s just about some retarded kid doing dumb crap with his stupid f’ing stuffed tiger long past the time where it’s okay to do crap with his stupid f’ing tiger. When you’re past like, 5, and you’re a boy, stuffed animals are good solely for humping and/or practicing wrestling moves on. It’s science. Look it up. Perhaps awkwardly practicing your making out with. as a teenager too. Then your parents walk in and walk out quietly, but they don’t understand. I love you Stuffed Snoopy I Got from Macy’s As a Present from that Aunt I Don’t Really Like and I always will.

You know what seems like kind of a money pit? Supervillainy. That’s why Lex Luthor (as played by Mad Men’s Jon Hamm) is seeking a bailout for his company, Lexcorp.

I can’t say I have a whole lot of experience in supervillainy, so I’d hate to be a backseat ]]>

You know what seems like kind of a money pit? Supervillainy. That’s why Lex Luthor (as played by Mad Men’s Jon Hamm) is seeking a bailout for his company, Lexcorp.

I can’t say I have a whole lot of experience in supervillainy, so I’d hate to be a backseat villain but how about you just roofie Lois Lane and shove a Kryptonite Nuvaring in her cooch? At that point, it just seems like it’d be a matter of patience. Plus any time he got around her, he’d start to feel woozy. But he loves her too much to stay away. It’s like really wanting to bang a girl but then you find out she has herpes. But you’re like, “Hmm, but I’ve invested like a couple hours now…what are the odds I’d catch it?” Anyway, that’s how I got this cold sore. So basically I’m Superman.

Via MY TWITTER WHICH YOU SHOULD BE FOLLOWING BECAUSE I FIND AND SAY AWESOME STUFF comes this comic of the day which isn’t a comic in the traditional sense, but is extremely hilarious.

It’s kind of hard being a supervillain though. Like once ]]>

Via MY TWITTER WHICH YOU SHOULD BE FOLLOWING BECAUSE I FIND AND SAY AWESOME STUFF comes this comic of the day which isn’t a comic in the traditional sense, but is extremely hilarious.

It’s kind of hard being a supervillain though. Like once when I tried to kill James Bond, I was going to just stab him in the heart but then Goldfinger was like, “What the f are you doing” and sat me down for a talk about how I had to set up an elaborate mouse trap with wires and and cages falling and down and a cougar getting loose and mauling him until his blood dripped out and a shark comes up and I just kind of stopped paying attention and realized how silly it was why I was mad at James Bond in the first place. So what if he stole the last bagel at our seminar on proper etiquette during free banquets? That’s hardly a reason to stab someone in the chest.

I guess the real point is that bagels tear people apart. I’ve read nothing on the matter but I’m pretty sure that’s why the Palestinians hate the Jews.

I’m very patriotic so I’m taking today off to support our Presidents’ birthdays. However, I’m also so patriotic that I spent (entirely too much) time drawing this picture for you guys so you have something new to look at.

Fun Fact: I spent like 45 minutes ]]>

I’m very patriotic so I’m taking today off to support our Presidents’ birthdays. However, I’m also so patriotic that I spent (entirely too much) time drawing this picture for you guys so you have something new to look at.

Fun Fact: I spent like 45 minutes looking for a reenactment of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln making out to post today and literally couldn’t find anything. The Internet has let me down. So I figured society needed it.

Yay for George Washington and Abraham Lincoln kissing! Now that you’ve seen this, I’m pretty sure that you can’t unsee it. So enjoy!

Via Married to the Sea is this funny little comic that warms the heart and the groin.

I don’t personally know any otters so I can’t speak for them as a whole, but I sincerely doubt that this otter’s intentions are pure of ]]>

Via Married to the Sea is this funny little comic that warms the heart and the groin.

I don’t personally know any otters so I can’t speak for them as a whole, but I sincerely doubt that this otter’s intentions are pure of heart. This otter will con you in with sweet nothings and thoughtful gifts only to, after a couple months, ignore you, spend more time watching otter porn than making love to you, and forgetting your birthday but acting like it’s not a big deal. At least if he’s anything like the seal I dated. Clapping can’t buy you love, Harvey. Clapping can’t buy you love.

Via Work Product comes this special little story about the mysteries of midgets.

Midgets are pretty mysterious, primarily because when have you ever actually spoken to a midget? Like I don’t even know how I would respond if a midget spoke to me. ]]>

Via Work Product comes this special little story about the mysteries of midgets.

Midgets are pretty mysterious, primarily because when have you ever actually spoken to a midget? Like I don’t even know how I would respond if a midget spoke to me. I’d probably pick him up and, in a very condescending voice, say, “Yes, I am a big person and thus know more about the world.” Then they probably wouldn’t be too pleased because the little freak was just asking me what time it was. Also I don’t know why I always take a picture of a midget when I see them on the street and then giggle like a Japanese schoolgirl. I’m waiting for the day when a roving band of midgets comes and throws molotov cocktails through my apartment window to get even for my crimes against them (though I’m not entirely sure how they’ll be able to throw it since their arms are pretty much as long as a piece of Italian salami, which doesn’t allow much torque on your throws).

Anyway exterminating them or domesticating them as pets isn’t the worst idea. Just saying.

A first time Comic of the Day comes from Buttersafe, one of the leading sites for both butter and safes. It’s an important lesson about drinking.

I dig this comic because it’s really relatable. I had a similar thing happen to me, where ]]>

A first time Comic of the Day comes from Buttersafe, one of the leading sites for both butter and safes. It’s an important lesson about drinking.

I dig this comic because it’s really relatable. I had a similar thing happen to me, where I came to after a tequila-induced blackout and had no clue what was on. It was literally almost the exact same scenario, except instead of being in a supervillainous cave, I was masturbating in a public library to photos of Erin E-Surance. I guess that’s not really totally similar in that respect, but it’s fundamentally the same since we both thought that our misguided efforts would result in murdering Superman.

Via SMBC comes this important lesson about when to be enthusiastic about your job and when not to.

It seems to me that it’d be unfair to be a woman with huge perky breasts, like the character above, and work in the brassiere ]]>

Via SMBC comes this important lesson about when to be enthusiastic about your job and when not to.

It seems to me that it’d be unfair to be a woman with huge perky breasts, like the character above, and work in the brassiere section of a store. Then every time a woman with small boobs comes in and tries to buy a bra to help her pad her chest, you get something sold by this girl and you know that she can’t relate to your plight. It’s like going to a cancer doctor when you have cancer…he doesn’t have cancer but he’s trying to tell me this gargoyle growing on my prostate is dangerous? Psh, how would he know?

Via Explosm comes this comic which is Pimp My Ride-ish but apparently not hosted by Xzibit ( :( ).

I always wondered why people were always so thrilled when Pimp My Ride would f up their cars by putting gaudy decals and crap ]]>

Via Explosm comes this comic which is Pimp My Ride-ish but apparently not hosted by Xzibit ( :( ).

I always wondered why people were always so thrilled when Pimp My Ride would f up their cars by putting gaudy decals and crap on them. I mean yeah it’s awesome that they put in the engine and a Coke dispenser (soda, not drugs…unless there was a special episode I missed) but the awesomeness seems slightly negated to me by having a dragon on the side or a flaming elf playing Tiddlywinks. Just my conservative style, I suppose.

Also, if you haven’t seen the 4chan meme about Pimp My Ride/Xzibit, you’re only cheating yourself.

Via Chainsawsuit comes this comic that teaches you how to avoid the grabby hands of Chris Hansen and the Dateline NBC pedophile-hating crew.

That’s a pretty clever way to protect yourself when chasing younger gals but an even more clever way to avoid ]]>

Via Chainsawsuit comes this comic that teaches you how to avoid the grabby hands of Chris Hansen and the Dateline NBC pedophile-hating crew.

That’s a pretty clever way to protect yourself when chasing younger gals but an even more clever way to avoid getting arrested is to not do it all. Unless she’s got a full body pic. Then you really don’t have a choice in the matter; the heart (and groin) wants what it wants.

Via Explosm comes this comic about a special water cooler. Reminder: if you have a strip that you think is actually funny, send it to me at the tips email to your right.

Theoretically, it’s kind of gross to imagine that objects like ]]>

Via Explosm comes this comic about a special water cooler. Reminder: if you have a strip that you think is actually funny, send it to me at the tips email to your right.

Theoretically, it’s kind of gross to imagine that objects like a water cooler are living things. On the other hand, I enjoy having things jerk off into my beverages, so that seems like a positive thing to me. What can I say? Sometimes you just want an extra level of flavor.

Apparently it’s Cathursday here…whatever. Via Garfield Minus Garfield (the avant garde site that takes Garfield out of all the Garfield strips) comes this comic that isn’t “funny ha ha” but more existentially funny. Or it’s filler. Either way!

I really wonder where the ]]>

Apparently it’s Cathursday here…whatever. Via Garfield Minus Garfield (the avant garde site that takes Garfield out of all the Garfield strips) comes this comic that isn’t “funny ha ha” but more existentially funny. Or it’s filler. Either way!

I really wonder where the concept of “sunglasses = cool” came from. Like I look cool in anything and look especially cool in sunglasses, but it’s always amusing when people wear sunglasses at night or indoors and look like total assholes. I imagine it all began with the song “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart. Or Theodore Roosevelt. He was well-known for his love of sunglasses and spinning rims. After he left office, neighbors would often hear him yell, “They spinnin’, they spinnin’!” in regards to the chromed out rims on his Ford Model T. And his first rap album “The Colonel Gets It Poppin’” was a lost gem amidst the big band era. So I guess the point is, who’s the first black President now, Barry?

Via SMBC comes this bit of humor about how to turn a negative (in this case, problems in the boudoir) into a positive. It’s uplifting!

Sometimes I think it would just be awesome to wear a superhero costume throughout the course of my ]]>

Via SMBC comes this bit of humor about how to turn a negative (in this case, problems in the boudoir) into a positive. It’s uplifting!

Sometimes I think it would just be awesome to wear a superhero costume throughout the course of my usual day, like buying groceries or at work and then, when people ask me about it, just say something derisive to the effect of, “I’m a superhero. I save lives” then casually walk away. Most people would probably think I’m crazy, but I bet that one chick that actually buys it would totally sleep with me. Awesome.