Yes it’s ten minutes long, but every single second demands you full attention. And granted, it’s not solely game related, but the truth takes us to unexpected places, right? Who could have ever guessed that Trading Places (yes, the movie starring Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd, that Trading Places) predicted 9/11 oh so many years ago?

Even if it is nonsense, there’s something compelling about the narrators’ voices and delivery, as they describe Mario & Luigi as “higher vibrational gods” who “[use] star gates or wormholes to track down an ancient race of fire breathing reptilians… and along the way they ingest powerful hallucinogenic mushrooms or mystical flowers to transform themselves.”

Come on, even the most ardent skeptics must admit how freaky it is to discover that the movie poster for Wild Wild West (yes, the movie starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline, that Wild Wild West) uses the same logo as the Super Mario Bros movie’s, but upside down! Okay, not really.

Decapitated Heads, 888, and The Serpent of the Crossing [Labyrinth of the Psychonaut]

At times like this, I really wish vampires existed. The vampires on True Blood self-segregate, but they all seem way too smart and worldly. But I bet real vampires would just be conspiracy theorists and totally nebbishly, like Woody Allen with a thirst for blood (ideally adult blood). You’d offer a vampire a cheeseburger and they’d say something like, “Oy, I’d love to, but it’d be bad for my diet. The doctor says I need to stick to O negative or I start to plotz.”

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Confused as to when an NBA referee should call a flagrant foul, a super-duper flagrant foul, or for an ejection? Just consult these simple bylaws from the league’s secret rule book. It’s easy!

10) If the player is committing the foul (heretofore known as The Criminal) is much smaller than the opponent (heretofore known as The Victim)

9) If the Criminal is from a smaller media market

8) If the NBA has a vested interest in seeing the series go long, and the call helps to ensure that

7) If the Victim is a much bigger star than the Criminal

6) If the Victim has gone to the Soccer Player / Pro Wrestling School for Selling the Blow

5) If the incident plays on longstanding local animosity or racial tensions

4) If the Victim has suffered visible damage (i.e., blood) rather than invisible damage (concussion)

3) If the foul happens early in the game and sets the tone, rather than coming late in the game and deciding it

2) If the Criminal’s Coach is better at working the refs and/or media

1) If the pre-game meeting between the show’s writers feel it’s the best way to advance the plot

Now you can have all of the fetish with none of the jail time!

Who would ripoff pint-sized Girl Scouts?

That’s what the girls in Troop 40411 in Bremerton, Wash., are asking after a scammer used counterfeit $20 bills to buy cookies from them, according to report by King5 News in Seattle.

“That makes you feel really mad,” seven-year-old Silvia Swanson told King5 News.

The annual cookie sale is a major source of funding for Girl Scouts programs like camping trips and swimming lessons.

Troop 40411 leader KC Gettings told the TV station that she found out about the counterfeit bills when she tried to deposit the money in a bank Saturday. Gettings said an employee at the bank, inside a Safeway store, told her two of the $20 bills were counterfeit.

Gettings bought a counterfeit detecting pen and discovered three other $20 bills were fake. Two of the bills had the same serial number.

Gettings told the station that she will file a police report on Monday – since the local station is closed on weekends. Each member will earn a “fraud badge” for their role in helping uncover the crime, but the troop may be on the hook for the $100 they lost in the scam.

“It’s just beyond me,” a customer, Deborah Bernard, told King5. “I can’t even imagine that. These are little girls.”

If this is a guy, he’s a scumbag. But what if it’s not some guy? What if it’s one of these clever little girls? Maybe it’s an overarching conspiracy? I’m tired of these Girl Scouts always muscling me into buying their cookies with their cute little faces and stupid outfits and threats to beat me up. It’s practically racketeering! So clearly counterfeiting is the next step in their little burgeoning crime syndicates. I’m onto you Girl Scouts. The next little girl in a Girl Scout outfit I see is getting a swift, low kick to the head while I’ll tell the one who was with her, “Go back to your friends and tell them what you saw here today!”

[source]