Guyism » Costumes

You won’t see anything this good on Halloween…

Douglas Charles — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:37:46 +0000

And if you do see something as good as Sophie Monk here heading to a costume party in LA, please email me and attach photos. Seriously. I’m not kidding. And be sure to come back on Monday as I am sure we’ll have a full recap of all the hot babe goings-on (i.e. see who slutted it up the best) from the many All Hallow’s Eve festivities.

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Minnie Mouse is easy

Chris Spags — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:46:34 +0000

Gross: Groping a woman in a Minnie Mouse costume in Toon Town at Disneyworld. Grosser: The chick in the costume didn’t run away out of fear she’d lose her job for breaking character.

M-I-C…See ya real soon!…K-E-Y…Why? Because I blew a load in my pants while feeling up Minnie Mouse.

Walt Disney World encourages its patrons to feel the magic but one guest from Pennsylvania took the message literally and felt the magic by feeling up a woman dressed up in a Minnie Mouse costume.

John William Moyer, 60, of Cressona, was convicted Tuesday of misdemeanor battery in connection with the June incident. The victim, Brittney McGoldrick, claimed to have been greeting children in “Toon Town” at the Magic Kingdom when Moyer came up behind her and groped her.

“Well, he just came at me,” McGoldrick testified in court. “He came at me and grabbed my breasts.”

Moyer adamently denied the claims telling the judge, “I am innocent, I am not guilty of the crimes that I’ve been charged with.”

His son even came to his father’s aide and told the judge his father would never inappropriately touch a woman.

McGoldrick claimed she had to do everything possible to keep Moyer’s hands off her breasts.

In Moyer’s defense, she was totally leading him on. The way her eyes stared at him with pure lust definitely gave Moyer the impression she wanted it. Then again, it may have been indifference. It’s hard to tell since costume eyes don’t do a whole lot to convey emotion. But hey, when you see those firm round globes (or as McGoldrick called them, mouse ears), you’ve just got to get yourself a handful.

Unrelated, I once was accosted by Disneyworld police for repeatedly throwing Beggin’ Strips at Pluto. I may have shoved one or two into his mouth too. Whatever, he’s a dog, he loved it, gagging sounds notwithstanding.

[via]

The Pussycat Dolls surprised the world on Halloween

Chris Spags — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:00:03 +0000

From some bullcrap event they were “hosting” over the weekend.

Now here’s the problem with dressing like a complete and utter whore all year round…you shock and disappoint everyone by somehow appearing to be dressed conservatively at Halloween. The only way the Pussycat Dolls could have possibly upped their usual slutitude for a Halloween costume would have been if their costume included a hole to show off their vaginas and a retractable series of cocks (a pulley-based system I’m working on right now…PATENT PENDING!).

I do have to commend the black one for her costume. It’s hard to pull off dressing like Angelina Jolie, but she really pulled it off.

Mariah Carey is fighting fires while half naked

Chris Spags — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:58:34 +0000

From her Halloween party in NYC…

See now this is why celebrities are silly. Yes, that’s an awesome authentic costume, it really looks like a firefighter’s uniform. But there’s no way she can fight fires like that. She’d get burned as soon as she approaches the flames! She knows NOTHING about fire safety. In fact, if a real firefighter dressed like that, they’d probably get a citation for improper wardrobe at work! These celebrities, man. No respect for anything.

She’d also have to be very careful near the flames since her stomach would catch fire pretty quickly. Oh, that’s not a whale blubber corset? Oh.

Kim Kardashian looks kinda hot as Wonder Woman

Chris Spags — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:47:29 +0000

From some bullcrap event where celebrities wear costumes in advance of Halloween so people write about them on Halloween.

I hate to say it because I think she’s kind of ridiculously overrated as a “hot chick” but she looks pretty f’ing good in this costume. It really accentuates everything that needs to be accentuated and hides everything that doesn’t need to be accentuated (for example, the black spandex hides the neverending train of black cock going inside of her). I wholeheartedly approve.

Then again, you could probably dress any sub-150 pound girl in a Wonder Woman costume and you’d be like “Yeahhhh lasso me up baby.” I’m pretty sure that even if Cloris Leachman threw the costume on I’d be like “Mmmm I like dat. Tell me mo’ about about dat Great Depression boo.”

Rachel Bilson sucks at Halloween

Chris Spags — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:45:35 +0000

Yes, it’s Halloween, the one time of year where women can go around and flash their vaginas without consequence. So what did the lovely Rachel Bilson give us? This.

This might be one of the least sexy costumes I’ve seen in a while coming from a hot female actress. It’s not even historically accurate; if you want to be a hippie chick or whatever, maybe you shouldn’t be wearing some “trendy” Mom jeans. You should probably be covered in mud, strange cum, and used LSD tabs.

You really let me down, Bilson. I’ve been more turned on at tutorials on effective embalming than I am while looking at these photos. Which may or not be a result of my rampant necrophilia, but still, suspend disbelief.

[more photos here]