Creepy things

Hand Reflexology Massager eases typing pain, scary as hell

Posted by Dan Seitz under , , , , , ,

hand reflexology massager

You know what’s relaxing? Sticking your hand into a machine with a dark opening. That never goes wrong. Either you’ll lose a finger or the Bene Gesserit will realize you’re the Kwisatz Haderach. What? No “Dune” fans in the house? Fine, let’s talk about this creepy Fleshlight looking mofo. Read more

“Sexy” grandmas want you to like science

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , ,

I’m all for companies daring to be different in their advertising. But there’s a fine line between “creative” and “never making me want to have sex again” that Science World in Canada is broaching where their newest commercial featuring sexy grandmas and the science of vanilla. Read more

Good boy, bad boy

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , ,

I don’t have any idea of the context here but I believe this illustration is from this collection. But either way, there are important lessons to be learned here about the difference between a good boy and bad boy in bed. Read more

Thomas the Tank Engine is so sexy

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , ,

Have you ever looked at Thomas the Tank Engine and thought, hmm…he looks like someone I know? Well you were half right, presuming you’re a big fan of inanimate sex toys. Maybe NSFW (assuming you work somewhere extremely conservative that thinks non-sexual objects can NSFW) photo after the jump. Read more

53 year-old guy really likes Miley Cyrus

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , , , ,

How can a 53 year-old Miley Cyrus fan get any creepier? By stalking her with great enthusiasm and claiming to be engaged to her. So, job well done. Read more

Eggs just got sexy

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , , ,

For years I’ve felt like my “solo time” has lacked a degree of whimsy. But thanks to the good people at Kanojo Toys, I can now get all the satisfaction of having sex with an egg without any of the ruining of omelets. Read more

The creepiest man on the Internet has been crowned

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , , ,

If this is legitimate, and for the love of all that is holy I hope it isn’t (though the heroes at 4chan say it is [link has some very NSFW things]), this gentleman is undoubtedly the creepiest human being to ever exist on the Internet. Watch the whole thing to really appreciate it. You know ... Read more

Cut the shit, tree

Posted by Chris Spags under , , ,

I don’t know what to make of this other than the fact that it’s simply horrifying and that nature, quite frankly, is a dick. Read more

The five most unsettling moments in the life of the Burger King

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , , , , ,

By now you know about the common conception that the Burger King (you know, the dude with the plastic face and tunic) is evil. Well, good news, he’s unleashing his spawn upon the Earth in a new campaign launching next week. Read more

Heart transplant recipient dies the same way as donor

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , ,

A fun little heartwarming story to start your day. Some dude who received a heart transplant seemingly died the same way his donor did: suicide. A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor’s widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. ... Read more