Green Bay Packers wide receiver Donald Driver has won two Super Bowls. And now, he adds another title to his resume: Champion of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars.

The 37-year-old Driver won the title with partner Peta Murgatroyd, defeating William Levy and Katherine Jenkins for the ]]>

Green Bay Packers wide receiver Donald Driver has won two Super Bowls. And now, he adds another title to his resume: Champion of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars.

The 37-year-old Driver won the title with partner Peta Murgatroyd, defeating William Levy and Katherine Jenkins for the crown.

“It took me 13 years to win the Super Bowl,” Driver told the Hollywood Reporter. “I’m just glad it took me one season to win the mirrorball.”

Driver joins NFL greats Hines Ward and Emmitt Smith as winners of the show. Professional athletes have won half of the show’s 14 seasons.

I’m just hoping that somewhere, somehow, Donald Driver was quoted in an interview saying “Heavens to Murgatroyd.” More victory speeches need to quote sexually ambiguous cartoon character Snagglepuss.

A pivotal game 5, and a couple of season finales top the listings of what to watch on TV tonight.

Pacers-Heat @ 8pm, TNT: The series is tied 2-2. Will LeBron come through in this pivotal game or choke once again?

American Idol @ 8pm, Fox: ]]>

A pivotal game 5, and a couple of season finales top the listings of what to watch on TV tonight.

Pacers-Heat @ 8pm, TNT: The series is tied 2-2. Will LeBron come through in this pivotal game or choke once again?

American Idol @ 8pm, Fox: The final two contestants perform in effort to be crowned the winner tomorrow night.

Dancing with the Stars @ 9pm, ABC: The season finale is tonight. Who are you picking to win?

Glee @ 9pm, Fox: It’s the finale for season three. What will happen to the graduating characters next year?

Kings-Coyotes @ 9pm, NBC Sports Network: The Kings lead the series 3-1 so this could be the end of the road for Phoenix.

Late Show with David Letterman @ 11:35pm, CBS: Tune in to see if Will Smith talks about slapping the guy who tried to kiss him.

Dancing with the Stars with a crucial elimination and NBA/NHL playoffs. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

Pacers-Heat @ 7pm, TNT: First game was quite entertaining but the Heat should still take this series with ease.

Glee @ 8pm, Fox: No seriously you guys, ]]>

Dancing with the Stars with a crucial elimination and NBA/NHL playoffs. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

Pacers-Heat @ 7pm, TNT: First game was quite entertaining but the Heat should still take this series with ease.

Glee @ 8pm, Fox: No seriously you guys, Lindsay Lohan is going to judge Nationals. Someone gave her a job.

Deadliest Catch @ 9pm, Discovery: Crab. Pot. Yell at greenhorn. Rinse and repeat.

Conan @ 11pm, TBS: Although I don’t like Bill Maher, he makes for a fascinating guest.

Dancing with the Stars @ 9pm, ABC: It appears Katherine Jenkins is headed home after stopping mid-dance last night. What? Like you don’t watch for Maria Menounos?

NCIS: Los Angeles @ 9pm, CBS: Two-part season finale may include the death of an agent. They wouldn’t kill off LL Cool J would they?

Kings-Coyotes @ 9pm, NBC Sports: So glad the Sacramento Kings finally changed sports.

Dry those tears, buddy. You’ve still got some crying to do. It’s upfronts season, where the TV networks all get together in New York City to talk about their plans for the Fall 2012 season. What that means for the rest of us is that it’s ]]>

Dry those tears, buddy. You’ve still got some crying to do. It’s upfronts season, where the TV networks all get together in New York City to talk about their plans for the Fall 2012 season. What that means for the rest of us is that it’s when we find out what shows are definitively cancelled. Here’s a quick rundown based on industry gossip on what you can expect from each major network.

FOX

Cancelled: Alcatraz, Allen Gregory, Bent, Breaking In, House, The Finder, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, Terra Nova.

The biggest loss here is obviously House, which was one of the network’s strongest performers. Terra Nova is trying to find a new network, but that show is insanely expensive to produce for the ratings it gets, so I wouldn’t expect anybody to bite. Most of the other shows were new and sucked to greater or lesser degree.

On The Bubble: Napoleon Dynamite.

This animated series hasn’t performed as well as FOX would have liked, which isn’t too surprising.

Renewed: American Dad, American Idol, Bones, Family Guy, Fringe, Glee, Hell’s Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, New Girl, Raising Hope, The Cleveland Show, The Simpsons, The X-Factor, Touch.

No big surprises here. New Girl overcame a weak start to become one of the funniest shows on TV, and the only other new series on the list is Touch which annoys me to no end but has the “autism mom” demographic locked up.

ABC

Cancelled: Charlie’s Angels, Cougar Town, Desperate Housewives, GCB, Man Up!, Missing, The River, Work It.

Just a really ugly year for ABC, as they shelled out cash for a bunch of shows that tanked hard. Cougar Town is headed to TBS for a final season to put it over the syndication benchmark. The River might have been the absolute worst series of the year, and GCB was doomed from the day they announced it.

On The Bubble: Pan Am.

The period airline drama (one of two Mad Men cash-ins) hasn’t been officially cancelled, but chances of it returning are minimal.

Renewed: America’s Funniest Home Videos, The Bachelor, Castle, Modern Family, Body Of Proof, Dancing With the Stars, Grey’s Anatomy, Happy Endings, Last Man Standing, Once Upon a Time, Private Practice, Revenge, Scandal, Shark Tank, Suburgatory, The Middle.

No big surprises here. Once Upon A Time was one of the network’s few new successes, and everything else is pretty solid. Scandal is atrocious but it just hasn’t had enough time to fail yet.

NBC

Cancelled: Are You There, Chelsea?, Awake, Chuck, Fear Factor, Free Agents, Harry’s Law, Prime Suspect, The Playboy Club, The Firm, The Sing-Off.

Ouch. The biggest load of cancelled shows came from struggling NBC, who dumped almost every new show of the 2011 season. Most were no big loss, but Awake was ambitious, beautifully filmed and critically acclaimed. People were just too stupid to watch it.

On The Bubble: Nothing.

The message here is clear. Deliver or go home.

Renewed: 30 Rock, Community, Grimm, Fashion Star, Law & Order: SVU, Parenthood, Parks & Recreation, The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, The Office, Rock Center With Brian Williams, Smash, The Voice, Up All Night, Whitney.

After all the fuss about the Thursday night comedies, everything’s coming back. 30 Rock will end with next season, filming 13 episodes including an hour-long finale. Parks & Rec gets a full season, and showrunner Dan Harmon might step down from Community according to the LA Times. The biggest surprise is the renewal of Whitney, which has been struggling.

CBS

Cancelled: A Gifted Man, CSI: Miami, How To Be A Gentleman, NYC 22, Rob!, Unforgettable.

Mostly new shows, pretty much all of them horrible. Rob!, which installed Rob Schneider in a sassy Latino family, was an unmitigated disaster.

On The Bubble: Rules Of Engagement

The network has plugged and unplugged this show from the schedule more times than I can count. It’s passed the syndication benchmark so it could be back or just end forever.

Renewed: CSI, CSI: NY, Criminal Minds, Hawaii 5-0, How I Met Your Mother, Mike & Molly, NCIS, NCIS: LA, Person of Interest, Survivor, The Amazing Race, The Big Bang Theory, The Good Wife, The Mentalist, 2 Broke Girls, Two and A Half Men, Undercover Boss.

Easily the most successful slate of any network, the sad thing is I watch absolutely none of these shows. Not a one of them.

The CW

Cancelled: The Secret Circle, One Tree Hill, Ringer.

Probably the biggest disappointment for the network is the failure of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s return to TV with Ringer. Buffy’s dead, folks.

On The Bubble: Nothing.

There’s less than a dozen shows on the whole network, dudes.

Renewed: Gossip Girl, 90210, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, Heart Of Dixie, America’s Next Top Model, Nikita.

This isn’t really a network I watch a lot but what I’ve seen of Nikita has been pretty good. How long has Supernatural been on, anyways? Like a thousand years?

Castle season finale and Grizzlies-Clippers play pivotal game. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

Castle @ 10 pm, ABC: Season finale as Beckett tries to hunt down her shooter. The show’s reached a point where they need to do something about the Castle-Beckett relationship. Expect ]]>

Castle season finale and Grizzlies-Clippers play pivotal game. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

Castle @ 10 pm, ABC: Season finale as Beckett tries to hunt down her shooter. The show’s reached a point where they need to do something about the Castle-Beckett relationship. Expect a pretty big cliffhanger here.

Grizzlies-Clippers @ 10:30 pm, TNT: If I were you, I’d stay up for this game. This series has not disappointed.

Dancing with the Stars, 8 p.m., ABC: Our weekly reminder of TV’s hottest woman: Maria Menounos.

Capitals-Rangers @ 7:30 pm, NBC Sports: The Rangers need to save the city of New York from their playoff woes. Although, in fairness, the Knicks did win yesterday.

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno @ 11:30 pm, NBC: Bear Grylls is always an interesting interview. That is, if you enjoy someone drinking their own pee.

2 Broke Girls @ 8 pm, CBS: This show lasted an entire season. And it got renewed. God help us all.

NBA and NHL playoffs, Vanessa Williams on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and How I Met your Mother. Here’s what TV shows you should watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: You’ll be shocked to learn that Ted and Robin discuss their relationship…AGAIN!

Knicks-Heat @ ]]>

NBA and NHL playoffs, Vanessa Williams on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and How I Met your Mother. Here’s what TV shows you should watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: You’ll be shocked to learn that Ted and Robin discuss their relationship…AGAIN!

Knicks-Heat @ 7pm, TNT: If you want to see a highlight reel of Miami Heat dunks, tune in to this game.

Capitals-Rangers @ 7:30pm, NBC Sports: Still trying to recover from their first round series.

Jimmy Kimmel Live @ 12am, ABC: Tonight’s hot or not, 49-year-old Vanessa Williams.

Dancing with the Stars @ 8pm, ABC: The Maria Menounos wardrobe watch continues.

Anthony Bourdain-No Reservations @ 9pm, Travel: Anthony Bourdain may very well be a huge douchebag but he certainly makes for entertaining television.

A fantastic profile on fundamentalist Mormon leader Warren Jeffs and Krysten Ritter talks about her new show on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: I’m three episodes away from never watching this show ]]>

A fantastic profile on fundamentalist Mormon leader Warren Jeffs and Krysten Ritter talks about her new show on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: I’m three episodes away from never watching this show again.

Dancing with the Stars @ 8pm, ABC: If I told you this was Latin Week and showed you this sexy pic of Maria Menounos, would you watch? Come on!

Bruins-Capitals @ 7:30pm, NBC Sports: I can’t recall a first round as exciting as this year’s. Fights, suspensions, crazy goal scoring and two girls, no cup.

Castle @ 10pm, ABC: No more Castle and Beckett as the writer takes on a new partner. Show’s about to take a massive hit in ratings.

Twins-Yankees @ 7pm, ESPN: You’re all dying to watch Monday Night Baseball, amirite?

Jimmy Kimmel Live @ 12am, ABC: Krysten Ritter is on and I have to ask, is she hot? You know, in a strung-out prostitute kind of way.

River Monsters: Unhooked @ 10pm, Animal Planet: Jeremy Wade tells you about his nasty encounter with giant eels.

Warren Jeffs: Fallen Prophet @ 9pm, Bio: Want a book that will knock your socks off? Under the Banner of Heaven which focuses on the fundamentalist wing of the Latter-Day Saints.

Apparently, Steve Urkel got into a fight with his dance partner Kym Johnson last week. This just draws attention away from Maria Menounos (sad face). Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: Where will Ted, Barney ]]>

Apparently, Steve Urkel got into a fight with his dance partner Kym Johnson last week. This just draws attention away from Maria Menounos (sad face). Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: Where will Ted, Barney and Marshall be three years from now? Truthfully, I don’t care, I just want to know who the mom is.

Milwaukee-Chicago @ 7pm, ESPN: The Cubs are lovable losers, or so I’ve been told.

Late Show with David Letterman @ 11:30, CBS: Ricky Gervais and Cobie Smulders tonight.

Dancing with the Stars @ 8pm, ABC: Jaleel White got into a fight with poor little Kym Johnson last week. He blamed it on his alter ego Stefan. Go figure.

River Monsters @ 9pm, Animal Planet: Yes, I’m addicted to this show. You should be too.

House @ 9pm, Fox: It’s not lupus, it’s never lupus.

WWE Monday Night Raw @ 9pm, USA: Last week saw the triumphant return of Brock Lesnar. This week the Three Stooges make an appearance. You giveth and you taketh away WWE.

Unbeknownst to many, Extra host Maria Menounos competed last night on Dancing With The Stars with two broken ribs after she fell on partner Derek Hough’s knee during a rehearsal.

“Once I get home, I get in a hot tub and in an Epsom salt bath,”

Unbeknownst to many, Extra host Maria Menounos competed last night on Dancing With The Stars with two broken ribs after she fell on partner Derek Hough’s knee during a rehearsal.

“Once I get home, I get in a hot tub and in an Epsom salt bath,” Menounos told Us. “I can’t believe how dangerous dancing is! I told Derek, ‘I don’t understand! I played ice hockey, football, basketball — when did I get so fragile?’ Unfortunately the Hough’s too rough!

The doctor told me to rest but I said there is no way I can quit. I have been just doing the best I can.”

Rest? Yeah, right. She’s on the highest profile show of her career. No time for that. The real question I need answered though is how is she ever going to be able to wrestle competitively when she steps into the ring again for this weekend’s big Wrestlemania bout she has with Kelly Kelly versus Eve and WWE Divas Champion Beth Phoenix? Those girls are not going to be nice to her. Oh, right, it’s fake. Never mind.

Maria Menounos Breaks 2 Ribs: How She’s Healing [Us]

McDonald’s All-American’s battle it out in a skills competition and a brief preview of John Cena and The Rock at Wrestlemania. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

Rock/Cena-Once in a Lifetime @ 8pm, USA: A behind-the-scenes look at John Cena and The Rock ahead of ]]>

McDonald’s All-American’s battle it out in a skills competition and a brief preview of John Cena and The Rock at Wrestlemania. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

Rock/Cena-Once in a Lifetime @ 8pm, USA: A behind-the-scenes look at John Cena and The Rock ahead of their Wrestlemania match.

The Last Days of Osama Bin Laden @ 8pm, National Geographic: A fascinating glimpse into the intelligence gathered to capture Osama Bin Laden.

HS Bball skills competition @ 8pm, ESPN2: McDonald’s All-American’s compete in a slam dunk and three-point contest.

Dancing with the Stars @ 8pm, ABC: Rumor has it Maria Menounos has a broken rib. Is one of the early favorites getting knocked out?

Mad Men @ 9pm, AMC: If for some reason you missed the Mad Men season premiere last night, here you go.

Late Show with David Letterman @ 11:30pm, CBS: Justified fans, take note. Harlan county’s finest, Raylan Givens makes an appearance.

The Monday night TV schedule featured a myriad of beautiful woman. From dramas to reality shows to the late night talk circuit, who stole our hearts last night?

8 Christina Aguilera-The Voice

The cleavagey singer continues to hassle the FCC with her wardrobe.

In case you were wondering what Dancing With The Stars, uh, star, Karina Smirnoff has been up to since she and MLB pitcher Brad Penny called off their engagement, it appears that she’s recovering by spending some quality time in a bikini. Actually I believe she’s wearing ]]>

In case you were wondering what Dancing With The Stars, uh, star, Karina Smirnoff has been up to since she and MLB pitcher Brad Penny called off their engagement, it appears that she’s recovering by spending some quality time in a bikini. Actually I believe she’s wearing this bikini in Hawaii to help promote her “DanceFIT-KS Exercise Routine” video. No idea what that is, but if there are bikinis involved I’ll watch it.

The Tim Tebow news cycle continues despite the rather embarrassing Broncos defeat last weekend. Karina Smirnoff of ABC’s, Dancing with the Stars, wants the fleet of foot quarterback for the show.

“All I want for my birthday is for Tim Tebow ]]>

The Tim Tebow news cycle continues despite the rather embarrassing Broncos defeat last weekend. Karina Smirnoff of ABC’s, Dancing with the Stars, wants the fleet of foot quarterback for the show.

“All I want for my birthday is for Tim Tebow to dance on ‘Dancing With The Stars,’” said Smirnoff. She then went on to say that as a New York native, she is a Jets fan, first. But, like many Americans, she was rooting for the Denver Broncos yesterday. “Tim Tebow played so hard,” Smirnoff said, “and I know that so many fans all across the country are so proud of him!” With the Broncos and the Jets out of contention, she is now rooting for the New York Giants.

Let me break this whole thing down for you. Smirnoff just broke up with Brad Penny and is looking to bang pretty much any athlete with a functional penis. If that happens to be a virgin Tim Tebow, so be it. If it happens to be a New York Giant, again, so be it.

You might say that’s a bit harsh, calling Smirnoff out like that. But allow me to respond with the following.

NO SELF-RESPECTING JETS FAN SWITCHES THEIR ALLEGIANCE TO THE GIANTS! ONLY STUPID, FRONT-RUNNING JERSEY CHASERS DO THAT!

That is all, carry on.

Haute Event: Karina Smirnoff Celebrates Her Star-Studded Birthday with a Surprise Guest at Sugar Factory, Wants Tebow on DWTS [Haute Living]

Anyone that watched Dancing With The Stars this year may have noticed something “different” about one of the dancers, Lacey Schwimmer, like the fact that she was a bit larger in the upper body area. There’s good reason for that. Apparently 23 year-old Lacey went to the ]]>

Anyone that watched Dancing With The Stars this year may have noticed something “different” about one of the dancers, Lacey Schwimmer, like the fact that she was a bit larger in the upper body area. There’s good reason for that. Apparently 23 year-old Lacey went to the shop for an upgrade in the boob department before the latest season began.

“Lacey’s told friends she got a boob job. She’d wanted one for a while so she went ahead and did it,” the source tells Us.

Says the insider: “She loves the results and she’s proud of her new shape.”

Word on the street is that she bumped things up from the B-cup range to the D-cup range.

I only share this story as a public service so men everywhere know exactly what they are looking at when watching Dancing With The Stars. Hahahaha! Like any men actually watch Dancing With The Stars! We don’t, right? *fist bump*

Now it’s time to compare and contrast. The first row of pics are pre-funbags, the second and third rows are post-inflation. Comparing and contrasting is fun!

Lacey Schwimmer Got a Boob Job [Us]