For those who missed the headlines last week, yet another gamer was found at an internet cafe in Asia, this time in Taiwan. I’ve actually been waiting for NMA’s report on the story to make a mention of it, which finally happened, but couldn’t have expected the following.

Warning: they actually show the body. He isn’t in bits & pieces or the like, but despite not being Faces of Death territory, it’s gruesome nonetheless, so be warned…

Basically, the dude was dead for about 9 hours before anyone realized he was dead. Cause of death is due to an apparent cardiac arrest, which is common in such cases. Basically, when a body doesn’t move for an especially long period, the blood can congeal, so any sudden movements… even just standing up… can cause a heart attack.

You know all those warning in video games, especially from Nintendo, about taking regular breaks while playing games? They’re there for a reason.

The death occurred in May when Chris Staniforth, aged only 20, suffered from a blood clot that formed as a result of a marathon Xbox 360 session. The exact medical term is pulmonary embolism, and one can form in anyone who stays in the same position for way too long.

According his father David, his son would play Halo for 12 hour-long stretches, with zero breaks in between. Yikes. Anyhow, the entire family is out to warn everyone about such dangers. Unlike fears that games will turn children into mass murders and other nonsense, this one is not all together unfounded.

Granted, there’s no guarantee if you play games for 12 hours straight that you too will get a blood clot, plus there’s just as much risk when flying a plane, since that too involves being immobile for long stretches of time. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with reminding everyone that gaming, along with everything in life, need to be taken in moderation. And stretching one’s legs is never a bad thing.

Xbox addict ‘dies from blood clot’ [Yahoo News]

Keyra Augustina is an example of what an oversized booty may look like.

Claudia Adusei, the 20-year-old victim, had flown to Philadelphia with three friends for her second butt implant procedure after she had a successful one in November 2010.

Adusei received her butt implants around noon. Within twelve hours she began experiencing chest pains and an ambulance had to be called by one of her friends.

A preliminary examination by a Delaware county medical examiner revealed that Adusei most likely died from silicone entering her vascular system and stopping her heart.

No charges have been filed at this time.

This is a really sad story. Partially because the world now has one less delightful rear, but moreso because getting cosmetic surgery from some random woman in a Philadelphia Hampton Inn just seems like a bad idea. There has never been a good situation that’s involved the phrases “low self esteem”, “random hotel room”, and “butt injection”. I’m pretty sure that’s why Freddie Mercury isn’t still performing Bohemian Rhapsody before sold out arenas across the globe with Queen.

Woman Dies After Butt Injection at Philly Hotel [Fox News, thanks to Rio for the tip!]

And yes, it’s legit. You can see a full photo gallery here.

I’m torn as to whether this is cool or patently ridiculous. I’m thinking a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B. I think it’s a really touching thing to pay tribute to your loved one as you think they’d have wanted to be remembered. At the same time, it’s a dead guy in sunglasses perched atop a rice burner. So there are definitely trade-offs. But one thing we can all agree upon: It would be pretty weird if he just drove off and said, “Thanks for the bike! Later, suckers!” Because, man, he’s not supposed be speaking English like that.

Puerto Rican funeral home presents shooting victim on his motorcycle [w/video] [AutoBlog]
Dead Man Displayed on Motorcycle Rather than in Casket for Wake [Neatorama]

Police have arrested two women after they tried to take the body of a dead relative on to a plane at Liverpool John Lennon Airport.

Staff became suspicious when they tried to check in 91-year-old Curt Willi Jarant, who was wearing sunglasses, for a flight to Berlin on Saturday.

The women – his widow and step-daughter – said they thought he was asleep.

Asked to describe her late husband, who she called Willi, Gitta Jarant said: “[He was] the best man of the world – good man.

“I [did not] kill my Willi. My Willi is my god. I [have loved] my Willi for 22 years.”

Mr Jarant’s step-daughter Anke Anusic added: “They would think that for 24 hours we would carry a dead person? This is ridiculous. He was moving, he was breathing. Eight people saw him.”

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way. “Weekend at Bernie’s.” Now, let’s move on.

The women said that Jarant was originally from Germany so, even though they’re not owning up to knowing he was dead, they wanted to get him back there before he passed. It’s kind of sweet, when you think about it. When I’m dead, I hope people love me enough to put sunglasses on me and drag me onto flights. I want to tour the globe like they did with James Brown. People act like burying you with dignity is the last sign of respect they can give you but, as an entertainer, I see nothing more fitting than taking me around the world for a marionette show. Plus, by the time it got later in the tour, the show would be like Gallagher, only instead of watermelons, it’d be limbs with rigor mortis flying into crowd. “Fun for the whole family,” the poster I’ve already drafted for the tour says.

Women try to take body on plane at Liverpool airport [BBC]

A window cleaner died after stabbing himself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo souvenir pencil, an inquest heard.

Jeffrey Burton’s family and friends were baffled by his bizarre death, which was recorded as an open verdict because there was no evidence he was trying to commit suicide.

The room [police found Mr. Burton in] was splattered with blood and music was still playing on his stereo. The giant blood-covered pencil was beside him.

East Sussex coroner Alan Craze told the Hastings inquest: “It’s a mystery to me. If you were choosing to take your own life, that’s not the way you would do it.

“It seems to me that it can’t have been a single stab wound. He seems to have worked on it. The pencil was blunt.”

Poor guy. Novelty items aren’t meant to bring pain to anyone, they’re just supposed to bring the simple joy of seeing something typically small turned into something extremely large. I’m just glad he didn’t harm anyone else. We could have been looking at an OJ Simpsonian double murder if he’d recently won a visit from Publisher’s Clearing House with an oversized check.

[Mirror]
Window cleaner killed himself with giant souvenir pencil, inquest hears

Actress Brittany Murphy, 32, died this morning from what is being called cardiac arrest. Reports the New York Daily News…

The troubled starlet went into full cardiac arrest early Sunday and could not be revived, according to a hospital spokeswoman.

It was her beloved mom who discovered her unconscious in the shower, according to the Web site TMZ. When paramedics arrived just after 8 a.m., they immediately began administering CPR and rushed her to nearby Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she was pronounced dead.

Prior to her death she was already inside a cloud of strangeness in recent months…

Last month, Murphy’s husband of two years, Simon Monjack, was rushed to a hospital after his plane landed at Los Angeles Airport. He was incoherent when EMTs boarded the plane.

In October, cops got a call from neighbors complaining that a frantic Murphy was on her balcony screaming about gunshots being fired near her home in Hollywood.

The noise was found to be coming from a generator.

Murphy appeared in appeared in more than 20 movies including 8 Mile, Girl Interrupted, Don’t Say a Word, and Sin City. Murphy is seen in here in recent photos from the premiere of the movie Across The Hall, the last movie she appeared in before her death. She also is scheduled to appear in two more movies that are currently in post-production.

Dogs bite people sometimes and, if it’s bad enough, the dog might get put down. It’s sad, but so are a lot of things. But what about when your partially blind dog bites your husband so bad that he dies? Well, if you’re this British woman, you go, “Eh, it happens” and keep the dog.

A father died after being nipped by his dog during a game of fetch.

Steven Sewell, 55, was on holiday in the Scottish Highlands with his wife Angela and teenage son David when the family’s partially blind dog Judy bit him.

The retired teacher patched up the small wound with tissue and carried on as normal because he was not in any pain.

However, an inquest has heard how he began complaining of shivers and sickness a few days later.

He was taken to hospital, where doctors diagnosed blood poisoning, and he died a few days later after the infection spread to his brain.

The family say the dog has never behaved aggressively, and are keeping her in spite of the freak accident.

Mrs Sewell, 53, said of the incident: ‘It was not vicious. It was just bad eyesight and tragic, but you have to accept it and move on.’

[Daily Mail]

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In the evenings, Donna Munson liked to sit in front of her picture window and watch the bears amble toward her Ouray County log cabin for dinner.

The 74-year-old woman — who stocked her backyard with dog food, fruit and yogurt — was found dead outside her home Friday, being eaten by a bear.

It was still unknown Saturday whether a bear killed Munson or whether one or more animals consumed part of her body after her death. But people who knew her said she was an eccentric wildlife lover who had been feeding bears, elk, skunks and raccoons for years.

Munson, who rented half of her home in southwestern Colorado to several people over the years, told one of them that “when the time came, she wanted to go out with the bears.”

I used to read Winnie the Pooh a lot as a kid, mostly because I related to Christopher Robin since we had the same first name. But then I grew up thinking bears were cool, and all about honey and misadventures with their random animal pals. Yeah, turns out they’ll just eat your face, no matter how much you tell them they’re your best friend. Thanks, Asexual Chris.

And don’t get me started on the other types of bears out there. Once I was looking for something interesting to do on Craigslist and saw that there was going to be a party where it was going to be “Bears Having Fun.” Yeah…those bears, not quite the ones you see on Animal Planet. I was lucky to escape with my honeypot unsodomized.

[via]

Workers excavating an old South Carolina cemetery have uncovered hundreds of sets of human remains.

The Post and Courier of Charleston reports Thursday that the Charleston Housing Authority found and removed about 350 sets of remains from the former Hampstedt Cemetery.

Historian Charles F. Philips Jr. says the mass graves were likely used for victims of yellow fever. The remains are being moved to Bethany Cemetery, where they will be reburied.

[via]

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A 40-year-old woman has been found dead in a machine at a Southern California food processing plant that is a major supplier for McDonald’s restaurants.

Los Angeles County sheriff’s detectives say the woman’s body was found early Tuesday at Golden State Foods in the City of Industry, an east Los Angeles suburb. Investigators believe her death was accidental.

No other details were given about her death or about the woman except that she was an employee.

The Irvine-based company has distribution centers across the nation. Its Web site says the company supplies McDonald’s and developed the sauce for the restaurant’s Big Mac in the 1960s.

Okay so I’m thinking I’m alone on this one, but I don’t think I’d be so skeeved out if I ate something delicious and then they were like, “GOTCHA THAT WAS HUMAN MEAT!” I’d probably ask if I knew the person, but so long as it was some delicious Polynesian boy who didn’t have a whole lot going for him or something, I’d probably quickly make peace with it. I find baby cows pretty adorable and find the way they’re “made” to be atrocious but damn if veal isn’t delicious. So why should little Paoemuhaaaaah expect any different?

Unrelated, would you be opposed if I asked you to sit in a bathtub filled with teriyaki sauce? No reason, just think you’d be comfy in it.

[via]

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Authorities said a man has died after falling into a vat of melted chocolate in a New Jersey processing plant.

A spokesman for the Camden County Prosecutor’s Office said the 29-year-old temporary worker at Cocoa Services Inc. plant fell after a blade used to mix raw chocolate hit him. The man’s name has not been released.

The accident happened around 10:30 a.m. today as the worker was loading raw chocolate into the vat where it’s melted and mixed before being shipped elsewhere to be made into candy products.

Well then, if you get a chocolate bar that tastes like a filthy factory worker or if when you open your candy bar, you hear the sounds of screaming stifled by rich chocolate (and nougat!!) then I guess you’ll know where it came from.

For all the chocolate lovers out there who have said, “That’s how I’d like to go,” I bet you learned a powerful lesson about your hyperbole. I love vaginas, it doesn’t mean that I’d like to die in a barrel full of them. Plus, how did they all get into that barrel? That couldn’t possibly be legal. What a terrible situation all around.

[via]

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