Well here’s a sad bit of news to start off your Friday. One of the nicest guys in rap is dead. The Beastie Boys had quite a career trajectory, from snot-nosed kids that tossed out their hardcore band to dive into the wild new world of hip-hop ]]>

Well here’s a sad bit of news to start off your Friday. One of the nicest guys in rap is dead. The Beastie Boys had quite a career trajectory, from snot-nosed kids that tossed out their hardcore band to dive into the wild new world of hip-hop and became some of the genre’s first crossover stars. And now there are two.

Adam Yauch, who performed under the name MCA, was diagnosed with a tumor on his salivary gland in 2009 and began undergoing treatment. The band has not performed live since then, and the release of their most recent album Hot Sauce Committee Pt. 2 was delayed while he was ill. Unfortunately, after three years of treatment, the cancer has claimed Yauch’s life.

In addition to anchoring the mic for the group as well as playing bass guitar, Yauch was the band member with the keenest visual eye. Under the pseudonym “Nathaniel Hornblower,” he would direct some of the group’s most famous videos including “Intergalactic” and “Pass The Mic.” He was also responsible for the band’s staunch support of the beleaguered Asian nation of Tibet. The world has lost a great talent. Let’s remember the good old days and fight for your right to party all weekend in his honor.

Remember when we told you about the Falling Bear pictured at University of Colorado at Boulder being tranq’d out of a tree? Well, he died after getting hit by a car. Rest in peace, Mr. Bear. You’re the best gravity-related bear since that book ]]>

Remember when we told you about the Falling Bear pictured at University of Colorado at Boulder being tranq’d out of a tree? Well, he died after getting hit by a car. Rest in peace, Mr. Bear. You’re the best gravity-related bear since that book where the Berenstain Bears went to the moon.

When someone bites the bullet in The Legend of Zelda, or any game really, it’s often both serviceable and innocuous. But place it in the real world, and it all of a sudden becomes pretty dark.

The above, highlighted by ALBOTAS, is rather morbid, and ]]>

When someone bites the bullet in The Legend of Zelda, or any game really, it’s often both serviceable and innocuous. But place it in the real world, and it all of a sudden becomes pretty dark.

The above, highlighted by ALBOTAS, is rather morbid, and makes me wonder if I’ll do the Zelda chime as well if I get a piece of the inheritance when my well-to-do uncle kicks the bucket.

Actually, there’s zero doubt.

Though Michael “Flathead” Blanchard died at only 68 years old, he died doing what he loved: Sticking a middle finger up at the rest of the world.

“He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.” What Michael Blanchard may have lacked ]]>

Though Michael “Flathead” Blanchard died at only 68 years old, he died doing what he loved: Sticking a middle finger up at the rest of the world.

“He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.” What Michael Blanchard may have lacked in refinement, he more than made up for in the ability to drunkenly commit drive-bys with busty schoolgirls at the highest levels of competence.

Michael “Flathead” Blanchard [Legacy.com via a tip from James]

There have been many Super Mario games, which means many attempts at saving the princess. And with that, many attempts at failing to do so. As bright and colorful the Mushroom Kingdom might be, it also has the stink of death.

The vid above is great in how it ]]>

There have been many Super Mario games, which means many attempts at saving the princess. And with that, many attempts at failing to do so. As bright and colorful the Mushroom Kingdom might be, it also has the stink of death.

The vid above is great in how it presents everything in chronological order. Notice how less abstract Mario’s death becomes as technology marches forward. Running out of time or being bitten by an evil mushroom? That pales in comparison to flat out suffocating on gas or drowning.

And naturally, his latest games (Super Mario Galaxy 1 &2) have the absolute worst ways to perish. Like disintegrating into the ether or being sucked into a black hole. Which, oddly enough, is again back to being somewhat abstract. Hmmm. Guess Nintendo ran out of conventional ways of torturing him.

The Oregonian was justifiably upset that it erroneously reported on the facts behind the passing of 17-year newspaper veteran Bob Caldwell. But man is this hatchet job they laid afterwards the most brutal article I’ve ever seen printed.

The gist of this article? ]]>

The Oregonian was justifiably upset that it erroneously reported on the facts behind the passing of 17-year newspaper veteran Bob Caldwell. But man is this hatchet job they laid afterwards the most brutal article I’ve ever seen printed.

The gist of this article? “Hey, so no charges were filed and that guy is still dead BUT ANYWAY he totally was paying a girl just out of college for sexual favors and was blown literally seconds before dying. Well, rest in peace, big guy.”

I hope dead dudes avoid print media just like the rest of us.

Bob Caldwell was with 23-year-old Tigard woman when he went into cardiac arrest [Oregon Live]

Usually the Taiwanese CGI news crew’s take on current events, no matter how morbid, are played for laughs. I guess whomever is in charge of the funny has the day off or something.

For those who missed the headlines last week, yet another gamer was found at an internet ]]>

Usually the Taiwanese CGI news crew’s take on current events, no matter how morbid, are played for laughs. I guess whomever is in charge of the funny has the day off or something.

For those who missed the headlines last week, yet another gamer was found at an internet cafe in Asia, this time in Taiwan. I’ve actually been waiting for NMA’s report on the story to make a mention of it, which finally happened, but couldn’t have expected the following.

Warning: they actually show the body. He isn’t in bits & pieces or the like, but despite not being Faces of Death territory, it’s gruesome nonetheless, so be warned…

Basically, the dude was dead for about 9 hours before anyone realized he was dead. Cause of death is due to an apparent cardiac arrest, which is common in such cases. Basically, when a body doesn’t move for an especially long period, the blood can congeal, so any sudden movements… even just standing up… can cause a heart attack.

You know all those warning in video games, especially from Nintendo, about taking regular breaks while playing games? They’re there for a reason.

It’s the stuff you used to only hear about in China or South Korea. A gamer from the UK recently passed away, due to him doing what he loved to do, just way too much of it.

The death occurred in May when Chris Staniforth, ]]>

It’s the stuff you used to only hear about in China or South Korea. A gamer from the UK recently passed away, due to him doing what he loved to do, just way too much of it.

The death occurred in May when Chris Staniforth, aged only 20, suffered from a blood clot that formed as a result of a marathon Xbox 360 session. The exact medical term is pulmonary embolism, and one can form in anyone who stays in the same position for way too long.

According his father David, his son would play Halo for 12 hour-long stretches, with zero breaks in between. Yikes. Anyhow, the entire family is out to warn everyone about such dangers. Unlike fears that games will turn children into mass murders and other nonsense, this one is not all together unfounded.

Granted, there’s no guarantee if you play games for 12 hours straight that you too will get a blood clot, plus there’s just as much risk when flying a plane, since that too involves being immobile for long stretches of time. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with reminding everyone that gaming, along with everything in life, need to be taken in moderation. And stretching one’s legs is never a bad thing.

Xbox addict ‘dies from blood clot’ [Yahoo News]

Police are seeking a woman for questioning after a 20-year-old student from the UK died in a Philadelphia Hampton Inn hotel after a butt implant injection procedure. Detectives issued a search warrant late Tuesday night at the Bergen County, NJ home of the woman whom they believe set up the ]]>

Police are seeking a woman for questioning after a 20-year-old student from the UK died in a Philadelphia Hampton Inn hotel after a butt implant injection procedure.

Keyra Augustina is an example of what an oversized booty may look like.

Claudia Adusei, the 20-year-old victim, had flown to Philadelphia with three friends for her second butt implant procedure after she had a successful one in November 2010.

Adusei received her butt implants around noon. Within twelve hours she began experiencing chest pains and an ambulance had to be called by one of her friends.

A preliminary examination by a Delaware county medical examiner revealed that Adusei most likely died from silicone entering her vascular system and stopping her heart.

No charges have been filed at this time.

This is a really sad story. Partially because the world now has one less delightful rear, but moreso because getting cosmetic surgery from some random woman in a Philadelphia Hampton Inn just seems like a bad idea. There has never been a good situation that’s involved the phrases “low self esteem”, “random hotel room”, and “butt injection”. I’m pretty sure that’s why Freddie Mercury isn’t still performing Bohemian Rhapsody before sold out arenas across the globe with Queen.

Woman Dies After Butt Injection at Philly Hotel [Fox News, thanks to Rio for the tip!]

Wakes are kind of an odd thing. I know it’s an important part of closure, but I don’t know how seeing a usually doll-looking corpse helps you close the loop. Well, one Puerto Rico family went outside the box, putting their recently slain relative David Morales Colón riding a motorcycle ]]>

Wakes are kind of an odd thing. I know it’s an important part of closure, but I don’t know how seeing a usually doll-looking corpse helps you close the loop. Well, one Puerto Rico family went outside the box, putting their recently slain relative David Morales Colón riding a motorcycle he was given by his uncle. Check it out.

And yes, it’s legit. You can see a full photo gallery here.

I’m torn as to whether this is cool or patently ridiculous. I’m thinking a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B. I think it’s a really touching thing to pay tribute to your loved one as you think they’d have wanted to be remembered. At the same time, it’s a dead guy in sunglasses perched atop a rice burner. So there are definitely trade-offs. But one thing we can all agree upon: It would be pretty weird if he just drove off and said, “Thanks for the bike! Later, suckers!” Because, man, he’s not supposed be speaking English like that.

Puerto Rican funeral home presents shooting victim on his motorcycle [w/video] [AutoBlog]
Dead Man Displayed on Motorcycle Rather than in Casket for Wake [Neatorama]

When somebody dies, it’s a traumatic situation for everyone who loves them. We all know that. But we all cope in different ways. You or I may cry. And these two British women decided to fly a dead guy to Germany by saying he was sleeping and putting sunglasses over ]]>

When somebody dies, it’s a traumatic situation for everyone who loves them. We all know that. But we all cope in different ways. You or I may cry. And these two British women decided to fly a dead guy to Germany by saying he was sleeping and putting sunglasses over his eyes. It all makes sense in the grand scheme of life.

Police have arrested two women after they tried to take the body of a dead relative on to a plane at Liverpool John Lennon Airport.

Staff became suspicious when they tried to check in 91-year-old Curt Willi Jarant, who was wearing sunglasses, for a flight to Berlin on Saturday.

The women – his widow and step-daughter – said they thought he was asleep.

Asked to describe her late husband, who she called Willi, Gitta Jarant said: “[He was] the best man of the world – good man.

“I [did not] kill my Willi. My Willi is my god. I [have loved] my Willi for 22 years.”

Mr Jarant’s step-daughter Anke Anusic added: “They would think that for 24 hours we would carry a dead person? This is ridiculous. He was moving, he was breathing. Eight people saw him.”

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way. “Weekend at Bernie’s.” Now, let’s move on.

The women said that Jarant was originally from Germany so, even though they’re not owning up to knowing he was dead, they wanted to get him back there before he passed. It’s kind of sweet, when you think about it. When I’m dead, I hope people love me enough to put sunglasses on me and drag me onto flights. I want to tour the globe like they did with James Brown. People act like burying you with dignity is the last sign of respect they can give you but, as an entertainer, I see nothing more fitting than taking me around the world for a marionette show. Plus, by the time it got later in the tour, the show would be like Gallagher, only instead of watermelons, it’d be limbs with rigor mortis flying into crowd. “Fun for the whole family,” the poster I’ve already drafted for the tour says.

Women try to take body on plane at Liverpool airport [BBC]

Suicide is a terrible thing no matter how you slice it. But apparently there’s a way to make it even worse than the traditional pill overdose or noose…you could do like one UK man allegedly did and stab yourself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo-sized novelty pencil.

A ]]>

Suicide is a terrible thing no matter how you slice it. But apparently there’s a way to make it even worse than the traditional pill overdose or noose…you could do like one UK man allegedly did and stab yourself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo-sized novelty pencil.

A window cleaner died after stabbing himself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo souvenir pencil, an inquest heard.

Jeffrey Burton’s family and friends were baffled by his bizarre death, which was recorded as an open verdict because there was no evidence he was trying to commit suicide.

The room [police found Mr. Burton in] was splattered with blood and music was still playing on his stereo. The giant blood-covered pencil was beside him.

East Sussex coroner Alan Craze told the Hastings inquest: “It’s a mystery to me. If you were choosing to take your own life, that’s not the way you would do it.

“It seems to me that it can’t have been a single stab wound. He seems to have worked on it. The pencil was blunt.”

Poor guy. Novelty items aren’t meant to bring pain to anyone, they’re just supposed to bring the simple joy of seeing something typically small turned into something extremely large. I’m just glad he didn’t harm anyone else. We could have been looking at an OJ Simpsonian double murder if he’d recently won a visit from Publisher’s Clearing House with an oversized check.

[Mirror]
Window cleaner killed himself with giant souvenir pencil, inquest hears

Actress Brittany Murphy, 32, died this morning from what is being called cardiac arrest. Reports the New York Daily News…

The troubled starlet went into full cardiac arrest early Sunday and could not be revived, according to a hospital spokeswoman.

It was her beloved mom who discovered ]]>

Actress Brittany Murphy, 32, died this morning from what is being called cardiac arrest. Reports the New York Daily News…

The troubled starlet went into full cardiac arrest early Sunday and could not be revived, according to a hospital spokeswoman.

It was her beloved mom who discovered her unconscious in the shower, according to the Web site TMZ. When paramedics arrived just after 8 a.m., they immediately began administering CPR and rushed her to nearby Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she was pronounced dead.

Prior to her death she was already inside a cloud of strangeness in recent months…

Last month, Murphy’s husband of two years, Simon Monjack, was rushed to a hospital after his plane landed at Los Angeles Airport. He was incoherent when EMTs boarded the plane.

In October, cops got a call from neighbors complaining that a frantic Murphy was on her balcony screaming about gunshots being fired near her home in Hollywood.

The noise was found to be coming from a generator.

Murphy appeared in appeared in more than 20 movies including 8 Mile, Girl Interrupted, Don’t Say a Word, and Sin City. Murphy is seen in here in recent photos from the premiere of the movie Across The Hall, the last movie she appeared in before her death. She also is scheduled to appear in two more movies that are currently in post-production.

Dogs bite people sometimes and, if it’s bad enough, the dog might get put down. It’s sad, but so are a lot of things. But what about when your partially blind dog bites your husband so bad that he dies? Well, if you’re this British woman, you go, “Eh, ]]>

Dogs bite people sometimes and, if it’s bad enough, the dog might get put down. It’s sad, but so are a lot of things. But what about when your partially blind dog bites your husband so bad that he dies? Well, if you’re this British woman, you go, “Eh, it happens” and keep the dog.

A father died after being nipped by his dog during a game of fetch.

Steven Sewell, 55, was on holiday in the Scottish Highlands with his wife Angela and teenage son David when the family’s partially blind dog Judy bit him.

The retired teacher patched up the small wound with tissue and carried on as normal because he was not in any pain.

However, an inquest has heard how he began complaining of shivers and sickness a few days later.

He was taken to hospital, where doctors diagnosed blood poisoning, and he died a few days later after the infection spread to his brain.

The family say the dog has never behaved aggressively, and are keeping her in spite of the freak accident.

Mrs Sewell, 53, said of the incident: ‘It was not vicious. It was just bad eyesight and tragic, but you have to accept it and move on.’

[Daily Mail]

Every death of Kenny from South Park seasons one through five. I wish they would kill him off more than they do now because these were really freaking funny.

NFL: Chargers’ Merriman denies choking Tila TequilaNFL: Giants think ex-teammate spilling secrets to ‘SkinsMMA: Gina Carano has reportedly landed a movie roleNASCAR: Teams racing to put package together for PatrickHORSE RACING: More than 1,200 horses ]]>

NFL: Chargers’ Merriman denies choking Tila Tequila
NFL: Giants think ex-teammate spilling secrets to ‘Skins
MMA: Gina Carano has reportedly landed a movie role
NASCAR: Teams racing to put package together for Patrick
HORSE RACING: More than 1,200 horses killed at tracks in 2008
MLB: Pitcher Kershaw injured by outfield wall during batting practice
HSBB: Teen baseball player shoots coach after argument
TRACK: College pole vaulter dies after missing landing pad

on 205th recommends…

Bears are wild animals, but it’s easy to forget that when they’re being cool and allowing you to feed them. Then ironically it becomes easy to remember it when the bears are eating you alive in your backyard. Life is silly like that sometimes.

In the ]]>

Bears are wild animals, but it’s easy to forget that when they’re being cool and allowing you to feed them. Then ironically it becomes easy to remember it when the bears are eating you alive in your backyard. Life is silly like that sometimes.

In the evenings, Donna Munson liked to sit in front of her picture window and watch the bears amble toward her Ouray County log cabin for dinner.

The 74-year-old woman — who stocked her backyard with dog food, fruit and yogurt — was found dead outside her home Friday, being eaten by a bear.

It was still unknown Saturday whether a bear killed Munson or whether one or more animals consumed part of her body after her death. But people who knew her said she was an eccentric wildlife lover who had been feeding bears, elk, skunks and raccoons for years.

Munson, who rented half of her home in southwestern Colorado to several people over the years, told one of them that “when the time came, she wanted to go out with the bears.”

I used to read Winnie the Pooh a lot as a kid, mostly because I related to Christopher Robin since we had the same first name. But then I grew up thinking bears were cool, and all about honey and misadventures with their random animal pals. Yeah, turns out they’ll just eat your face, no matter how much you tell them they’re your best friend. Thanks, Asexual Chris.

And don’t get me started on the other types of bears out there. Once I was looking for something interesting to do on Craigslist and saw that there was going to be a party where it was going to be “Bears Having Fun.” Yeah…those bears, not quite the ones you see on Animal Planet. I was lucky to escape with my honeypot unsodomized.

[via]

What would you guess you’d find if you dug up a cemetery? Did you guess…a magical elephant? Well congrats on being retarded. You’d find a bunch of dead bodies, obviously. Well, perhaps not so obvious if you’re a South Carolina newspaper since apparently this is news.

Workers excavating an ]]>

What would you guess you’d find if you dug up a cemetery? Did you guess…a magical elephant? Well congrats on being retarded. You’d find a bunch of dead bodies, obviously. Well, perhaps not so obvious if you’re a South Carolina newspaper since apparently this is news.

Workers excavating an old South Carolina cemetery have uncovered hundreds of sets of human remains.

The Post and Courier of Charleston reports Thursday that the Charleston Housing Authority found and removed about 350 sets of remains from the former Hampstedt Cemetery.

Historian Charles F. Philips Jr. says the mass graves were likely used for victims of yellow fever. The remains are being moved to Bethany Cemetery, where they will be reburied.

[via]

NFL: Deion Sanders, Dan Reeves say Vick is ready to playCFB: Illini, Wildcats aim to move game to Wrigley FieldINDYCAR: IndyCar announces deal to add Alabama track in 2010NASCAR: NASCAR accuses Mayfield of lying in federal court

NFL: Deion Sanders, Dan Reeves say Vick is ready to play
CFB: Illini, Wildcats aim to move game to Wrigley Field
INDYCAR: IndyCar announces deal to add Alabama track in 2010
NASCAR: NASCAR accuses Mayfield of lying in federal court
UFC: Silva: People who booed my last fight don’t understand MMA
UFC: Fedor Emelianenko, UFC reportedly ‘finalizing deal’
UFC: M-1 Global says Fedor, UFC not close to a deal
BOXING: Forrest traded gunfire before dying, police say
MLS: Beckham agitator’s lifetime stadium ban rescinded
SOCCER: Two people killed amid riot at Honduran football game

on 205th recommends…

It seems like dead bodies falling into food “accidentally” is all the rage lately. For example, take this poor woman who died at a McDonald’s food processing plant.

A 40-year-old woman has been found dead in a machine at a Southern California food ]]>

It seems like dead bodies falling into food “accidentally” is all the rage lately. For example, take this poor woman who died at a McDonald’s food processing plant.

A 40-year-old woman has been found dead in a machine at a Southern California food processing plant that is a major supplier for McDonald’s restaurants.

Los Angeles County sheriff’s detectives say the woman’s body was found early Tuesday at Golden State Foods in the City of Industry, an east Los Angeles suburb. Investigators believe her death was accidental.

No other details were given about her death or about the woman except that she was an employee.

The Irvine-based company has distribution centers across the nation. Its Web site says the company supplies McDonald’s and developed the sauce for the restaurant’s Big Mac in the 1960s.

Okay so I’m thinking I’m alone on this one, but I don’t think I’d be so skeeved out if I ate something delicious and then they were like, “GOTCHA THAT WAS HUMAN MEAT!” I’d probably ask if I knew the person, but so long as it was some delicious Polynesian boy who didn’t have a whole lot going for him or something, I’d probably quickly make peace with it. I find baby cows pretty adorable and find the way they’re “made” to be atrocious but damn if veal isn’t delicious. So why should little Paoemuhaaaaah expect any different?

Unrelated, would you be opposed if I asked you to sit in a bathtub filled with teriyaki sauce? No reason, just think you’d be comfy in it.

[via]