Depressing news

Man misses out on $319 million office pool due to not “feeling lucky”

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mega millions tickets

A team of seven IT coworkers won the New York State Mega Millions jackpot totally $319 million. Awesome for them. But the depressing part? There were usually eight coworkers who pooled money together for lottery tickets. And one opted to sit this one out. Read more

Woman killed by lightning strike right before boyfriend’s proposal

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person-on-mountain-top

This has to be one of the saddest yet most completely, unequivocally bizarre things I’ve ever heard: A Tennessee man was minutes from proposing to his girlfriend on top of a mountain, hoping to create the perfect moment for the beginning of their lives together. Small problem: They both got struck by lightning, killing her ... Read more

Girl recovering from getting hit by SUV gets hit by another SUV

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I was watching The Final Destination the other day because I’m a person who makes a lot of bad choices in his life and it’s always amused me how persistent and surly “Death” is in those films. Kind of far-fetched, right? Apparently not, if you’re this poor girl Shannon Broome who got hit by a ... Read more

Worst. Threesome. Ever.

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How can you put a damper on what’s the most common fantasy of the American male? By asking if you can watch then, after being told no, getting violent and beating everyone up with your brother’s help. Story of the year! Read more

Breast implant sales dip due to the economy

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This is literally the worst news to come out of the recession yet, and I’m including the fictional story I crafted about a father of a family of seven blowing his boss in order to not get fired (it was a feel good story): Breast implants are falling due to overall brokeness. Read more

Lindsay Lohan is learning how to not show her boobs

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From outside some club in LA… Read more