Petra Ecclestone outdoes Kim Kardashian with superstar wedding
“…she had opera superstar Andrea Bocelli serenading the guests before the sunset ceremony, rock icon Eric Clapton playing the newlywed’s first dance and none other than The Black Eyed Peas as the dance band.”

Jim Carrey answers critics about “creepy” Emma Stone video
“People often ask me if I’m being funny or serious. The answer is ‘YES’. ?;^]”

Ashlee Simpson “drunk-dialing” ex Pete Wentz
“Ashlee was telling Pete how much she misses him and wants him back.”

Mark & Donnie Wahlberg opening “Wahlburgers” restaurant. No, really.
“It’s a good-sounding brand we could put out the product with, a great name people could relate to.”

Minka Kelly & Ramon Rodriguez more than just costars?
“They have been together long after they need to be for the show.”

Minka Kelly hinting at Derek Jeter split weeks ago?
“I don’t need a man to validate me.”

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux move in together
“Jen and Justin are very excited about living together in their new home.”

Jessica Alba: First photo since delivering baby Haven
“Alba looked calm and collected in a white maxi dress topped with a denim shirt and cross-body bag.”

Jaime Pressly pleads no contest to DUI, will have locking device on her car
“The 34-year-old North Carolina native will have to complete a six-month alcohol education class…”

Bus driver crashes into Dana Delaney — then asks for her autograph
“Only in Hollywood.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Candice Swanepoel in a new photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret’s VSX Sexy Sport

By many people’s accounts, Christian Lopez did the right thing by giving Derek Jeter his historic ball back. Perhaps you could say it was generous and even honorable that he didn’t consider selling it to the highest bidder. But after learning that his “prize” pack from the Yankees could be subject to a five-figure tax bill from the IRS, I wonder if he has a change of heart.

The tickets to the 32 remaining home games (after Sunday) have a combined face value of $44,800 to $73,600, according to the team’s Web site. The tickets could be worth a lot more if the Yankees play deep into October. Steven Bandini, a tax partner at the accounting firm Zapken & Loeb, said that if the items were valued modestly at $50,000, they would probably carry a tax burden of about $14,000.

Michael J. Graetz, a law professor at Columbia University who advised the I.R.S. on how to treat the McGwire ball, questioned whether the booty was not a gift, and therefore not taxable.

“The legal question of whether it is a gift or prize is whether the transferor is giving the property out of detached and disinterested generosity,” Professor Graetz said. “It’s hard for me, not being a Yankee fan, to think of the Yankees as being in the business of exercising generosity to others, but there’s a reasonable case to be made that these were given out of generosity.”

To me, this seems like a fairly straightforward case of generosity on the Yankees part. Lopez did not feel like he had won some kind of contest and therefore, the term “prize” seems odd here. Of course, this could have all been avoided if Lopez just sold the ball like most fans would…but I digress.

I hope for his sake that somebody makes the right call here. Whether it’s Derek Jeter stepping up to the plate and paying the tax bill, or the IRS not being complete douchebags. Given the latter’s history, I don’t have a lot of Hope Solo.

Returning Jeter’s Big Hit: No Good Deed Goes Untaxed (Perhaps) [NY Times] via [MyFox DC]

Rihanna named new face of Emporio Armani Underwear, Jeans
“Rihanna follows in the footsteps of sexy siren Megan Fox, who modeled for the label in a 2010 campaign…”

David & Victoria Beckham name their daughter ‘Harper Seven’
“The couple also has sons Brooklyn, 12, Romeo, 8, and Cruz, 6.”

Rebecca Black set to drop new single, EP
“My dream duet would be Justin Bieber. Even just doing something with Taylor Swift, or any of my favorite artists would be so cool.”

Halle Berry terrified by ‘kitchen window’ stalker
“Sources say the suspect is the same guy who jumped Halle’s security wall on Saturday, triggering the first 911 call.”

Bar Refaeli & rumored new beau go clubbing In Tel Aviv
“Looks like Israeli-born stunner Bar Refaeli has moved on after her split with former flame Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Derek Jeter & Minka Kelly in Miami after his record-setting hit
“On Monday, the two had lunch in SoBe where she is shooting the new Charlie’s Angels TV series.”

Miranda Kerr: “I thought I was going to die” giving birth
“I kept thinking, ‘How do women do this?’”

Lady Gaga teases mermaid-themed music video
“The relation of the video to my real life, as well as to my dream of the future, is really what makes it so special.”

Britney Spears doesn’t have to be deposed in lawsuit, judge rules
“The reason is because Spears is still under conservatorship.”

Kim Kardashian channels retro Hollywood for sexy photo shoot
“She was snapped on set wearing a vintage-inspired outfit with curled hair tied back in a scarf.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Megan Fox in a behind the scenes interview for Giorgio Armani Cosmetics.

Megan Fox: I don’t have botox!
Proving she’s naturally beautiful, Megan Fox uploaded a series of photos to her official Facebook page…”

Minka Kelly cheers boyfriend Derek Jeter’s 3000th hit
“Kelly, 31, who is preparing for her role as a tough crime fighter on ABC’s upcoming Charlie’s Angels reboot, was among Jeter’s family and friends at the game.”

New Edition album “in the making,” Bobby Brown says
“We’re thinking about it, we’re talking about it, and it all starts with us, just thinking about making some good music together.”

Emma Stone reveals her celebrity girl crush
“Everything about her does it for me. That’s my kind of woman.”

Cameron Diaz uses Justin Timberlake to inch closer to the altar with Alex Rodriguez
“He went so far as to call Justin and demand to know if he was going after Cam again.”

The Situation sued for $1 mil after 86ing managers
“According to the lawsuit, Sitch was contractually required to give Gotham 30 days notice … and a chance to correct any issues.”

Brandy settles extortion lawsuit against DJ
“Brandy had settled her lawsuit against house music artist Marc Mysterio who she had accused of trying to extort money from her and her
family.”

Demi Lovato to drop “Skyscraper” Tuesday
“Demi Lovato is ready to launch her comeback.”

Rihanna focused on career, not men
“I’m open to love. But guys should have to earn it. Because the minute they get it, they want something else.”

Heidi Montag says new reality show Famous Food is “cutthroat”
“I really want to stay away from all of the drama.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Megan Fox in a sexy commercial for Giorgio Armani cosmetics.

Here’s video:

15

In one of the biggest trades in NBA history, Carmelo Anthony was finally dealt to the New York Knicks last night just a day after he said he would be playing for the Nuggets come Tuesday. Moral of the story? Athletes lie. The Knicks swooped in and gave up the house for Anthony. Here are the details: the Knicks will send Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari, Timofey Mozgov and a 2014 first-round draft pick to the Nuggets, who would get additional picks and cash. Along with Anthony, New York would acquire Chauncey Billups, Shelden Williams, Anthony Carter and Renaldo Balkman. New York will send Anthony Randolph and Eddy Curry to Minnesota as part of the deal in exchange for Corey Brewer. Wow, all that for a guy who is just a scorer, has no real leadership ability, and at most, has a $.10 brain. You’ll excuse me if I laugh at the Knicks for the rest of the day. This reeks of not only a James Dolan inspired move but an Isiah Thomas one to boot.

8.8

Kansas is still one of the favorites for the Final Four this year, they’re just going to have to do it without the services of Tyshawn Taylor. Taylor was suspended from the team for the dreaded violation of team rules. That can usually mean anything from drunk driving, to skipping classes, to impregnating the coach’s wife. Taylor played a pivotal role on the team averaging 8.8 points and 4.7 assists per game.

2009

Hank Steinbrenner is no stranger to controversy having worked for his dad for the better part of his adult life. But his comments regarding the Yankees squad is rubbing a lot of players and fans the wrong way. Steinbrenner made this statement at spring training in Tampa, Florida yesterday. “I think, maybe, they celebrated too much last year,” Steinbrenner said Monday. “Some of the players, too busy building mansions and doing other things and not concentrating on winning. I have no problem saying that.” Well, Derek Jeter might have a problem with him saying that—he’s the only one building a mansion in Tampa.

69-64

Speaking of ornery old white men, Jim Boeheim had some choice words after his team beat Villanova last night in a battle of Big East powers. Boeheim, who reguarly schedules cupcakes in the non-conference is starting to feel the heat of a real schedule. I think that’s bulls**t,” Boeheim said. “It’s all bulls**t. We can play next week and get in the same game and lose. We can have 10 of these in a row and win them and then get in the (Big East or NCAA) tournament and lose. It’s all bulls**t.” Boeheim apparently really likes the word bulls**t.

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

For a show that was supposed to be about nothing, Seinfeld sure had plenty of sports episodes. Golf, tennis, baseball and hockey were all used for episodes that centered around sports. And now that Jerry’s scheduled to call a Mets game with Keith Hernandez, it’s time to paint your face like Puddy and get yourself ready. Here are 10 of the best Seinfeld sports moments.

10 Kramer Asks Paul O’Neill for a Favor
Kramer makes his way into the Yankees locker room to find Paul O’Neill. He asks him to hit two home runs for a sick kid in the hospital, even though it’s really so Kramer can get a birthday card back.

Paul O’Neill: “You promised a kid in the hospital that I’d hit two homeruns?”

Kramer: “Yeah, what — no good?”

Paul O’Neill: “No it’s no good…it’s terrible. I mean, you don’t hit home runs like that, it’s hard to hit home runs. And where the heck did you get two from?”

9 Another Game for Milos!
Jerry finds out that the salesman he bought his tennis racquet from is actually terrible at playing the game. This upsets Jerry tremendously and the salesman, Milos, promises to make it up to him. The plot has some twists and turns, but it comes down to Jerry tanking a tennis match so Milos can look like a man again to his hot wife.

Milos: Another game for Milos! Hahaha!

Jerry: You’re on fire today.

Milos: Hey Patty. look at this guy. He’s awful! He’s not a man, this Jerry. He’s not even married like I am.

Jerry: Hey, uh, Milos, I don’t mind rolling over here, but could you lighten up on the ‘not a man’ stuff?

Milos: Hey everybody, look! The little chicken girl wants me to ease up. He can’t handle this, so he cries like a woman!

8 Kramer Dominates the Dojo
Kramer becomes a force in “kah-rah-tay”, except it’s at a dojo full of young kids. He ends up getting beat up in an alley by them but not before explaining the “katra” to Elaine.

Kramer: The first time I sparred with an opponent, I was terrified. My legs, they were like noodles. But then I looked inside, and I found my katra.

Elaine: Katra?

Kramer: Yeah, your spirit, your, uh, being. The part of you that says, “Yes, I can!”

Jerry: Sammy Davis had it.

Kramer: So I listened to my katra and now I’m dominating the dojo. I’m class champion. Ka-ra-te Jerry ka-ra-te sound bite

7 Jay Buhner Has a Rocket for an Arm
George Steinbrenner has stopped by the Costanza residence to tell them the bad news that their son George is dead. Frank Costanza is tremendously upset. But not about George. He’s mad about a certain Yankee trade.

Frank: What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBIs last year, he’s got a rocket for an arm, you don’t know what the hell you’re doin’!!

Steinbrenner: Well, Buhner was a good prospect, no question about it. But my baseball people love Ken Phelps’ bat. They kept saying ‘Ken Phelps, Ken Phelps’.

6 Was It the AM/PM?
Elaine is hosting Jean Paul, the marathoner that overslept at the Olympics and missed the marathon. Jerry has designs on making sure he doesn’t miss his race in New York. But first they want to find out why Jean Paul missed out on the Olympics.

Jean-Paul: Man, it wasn’t the snooze. Most people think it was the snooze, but no, no snooze.

Jerry: AM/PM.

Jean-Paul: Man, it wasn’t the AM/PM. It was the volume.

Jerry: Ah…the volume.

Jean-Paul: Yes, the volume. There was a separate knob for the radio alarm.

Jerry: Ah, separate knob.

Jean-Paul: Yes, separate knob. Why separate knob?! Why separate knob?!

5 How They Talk in the Major Leagues
George meets with some executives from the Houston Astros to discuss interleague play and adopts a whole new style of conversation.

George: Hey, you bastards.

Jerry: Hey, how was the meeting?

George: I really like those sons of bitches.

Jerry: Sons of bitches?

George: Yeah! That’s how they talk. You know, everyone’s either a bastard or a son of a bitch.

Yeah, it’s like uh…”boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit, uh?!”

Jean-Paul: Really?

George: Yeah, yeah. That’s how they talk in the major league.

4 Joe DiMaggio Dunks His Donuts
Kramer reveals to the Elaine and Jerry that Joe DiMaggio is a “dunker”, but Jerry does not believe it.

Kramer: Joe DiMaggio, you know this time I went in and sat down across from him and I really watched him. I studied his every move. For example, he dunks.

Elaine: Joe DiMaggio dunks his donut?

Kramer: That’s right.

Jerry: See, now I know it’s not him. Joe DiMaggio could not be a dunker.

Kramer: Oh, he’s a dunker.

Elaine: Why couldn’t he be a dunker?

Kramer: And nothing diverts his attention. Like, I’m uh, you know, like I’m sitting in there, you know. And I start banging on the table, you know, to uh, look up, you know, Like I’m sitting there you know and uh, bang, you know, bang! He wouldn’t move. So then I start doing these yelping noises. Like, yip! yip! No reaction because the guy is so focused, you see, he can just block out anything that’s going on around him. See, that’s how he played baseball. He dunks like he hits.

3 George Teaches Jeter and Bernie Williams About Hitting
George abstains from sex and the effects transform him into some sort of savant. Besides dominating at Jeopardy! and figuring out absolute zero, George bestows some of his new found knowledge on Yankees stars Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams.

George: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It’s simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. (Hits a home run) It’s not complicated.

Jeter: Now who are you again?

George: George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary.

Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?

George: Do you wanna talk about hotels, or do you wanna win some ball games?

Jeter: We won the World Series.

George: In six games.

2 Keith Hernandez, The Magic Loogey and George the Chucker
While Jerry is anxious about his man-date with Keith Hernandez, Newman explains why he can’t stand the Mets’ first baseman with his “Magic Loogey” theory, duplicating the exact scene — and his role –in JFK.

Kramer: Keith was coming toward us, as he passes Newman turns and says, “Nice game pretty boy.” Keith continued past us up the ramp.

Newman: A second later, something happened that changed us in a deep and profound way front that day forward.

Elaine: What was it?

Kramer: He spit on us…. and I screamed out, “I’m hit!”

Newman: Then I turned and the spit ricochet of him and it hit me.

1 Puddy Paints His Face for the Devils Game
Elaine learns something new about her on and off boyfriend, David Puddy. Turns out Puddy is a “face painter” and Elaine just can’t handle that.

Elaine: You painted your face?

Puddy: Yeah.

Elaine: Why?

Puddy: You know, support the team.

Elaine: Well, you can’t walk around like that.

Puddy: Why not?

Elaine: Because it’s insane?

Puddy: Hey, you gotta let them know you’re out there, this is the playoffs.

Kramer: Hey.

Puddy: Hey.

Elaine: Dave, um, painted his face.

Kramer: Yeah, that’s cool. Well, you gotta support your team.

If you’re in the greater NY area and have any babysitting skills whatsoever, C.C. Sabathia is in need of your services this weekend. The Yankees pitcher was at the Knicks-Timberwolves game on Monday and told a reporter that he wouldn’t be able to make teammate Nick Swisher’s wedding because he couldn’t find a babysitter for his four kids.

We can’t get a babysitter. I have four kids at home. My mother doesn’t want to come out and babysit.” Sabathia added, “We’re going to have to just send a gift.

Listen C.C., I watched Three Men and a Baby a handful of times so if you’re willing to fly me out first-class from Detroit today, and pay me like $3,000, I’m at your service. Also, I heard Derek Jeter won’t be able to make it to the wedding either, so Minka Kelly is always available too. If you have any teenage sons, I’m sure they’ll be more than thankful for that. Undoubtedly, an early Christmas present for them.

Sabathia not going to Swisher’s wedding [NY Post]

45,000,000

Derek Jeter might be a valuable player to the New York Yankees but the question the last few weeks has been, how much? Jeter turned down $45 million from the Bronx Bombers just last week hoping for a longer deal…a deal it seems may never come. There are rumors that he wants as much as 6-years, $150 million dollars. If that’s the case, you can say goodbye to Derek in pinstripes.

2

A little over one year after a car accident and scandal rocked the now #2 ranked golfer in the world Tiger Woods, he’s taken to Twitter to try and win his fans back. He’s even engaging in a little back and forth with them answering questions directly. Unfortunately, none of them are about his wife or mistresses, more so “what’s your favourite course and why?”. Eh, those are softballs. Ask him about the pancakes at Perkins if you’re going to loft one up there like that.

11

Speaking of divorce, there may not be an uglier or more expensive one in sports than the Frank-Jamie McCourt one. Both had 11 days to consider a proposal to settle their case, and they still couldn’t come to an agreement. The blame here lies with Jamie though, as Frank agreed to it and seems to want to move past it. Now, it could be several more years before this is decided, which of course, leaves the Dodgers ownership in the balance.

25,000

Count me amongst the confused who have no idea how the NFL fine system works. One day after Cortland Finnegan and Andre Johnson were only fined $25k for essentially beating the crap out of each other, James Harrison was fined $25k for a hit on Ryan Fitzpatrick. So next time, Harrison should just wait for the play is over, rip off a quarterback’s helmet, and drop kick him in the face. It’s all the same to the NFL.

6

The LeBron James PR nightmare train continues to roll. Only days after bumping into his coach, James makes his way back to Cleveland Thursday for his homecoming. And what a return it will be. Nothing short of a ticker tape parade with confetti falling I’m sure. Nobody knows what’s in store for LeBron other than the fans, but you can bet, security will be tight. And while I understand the frustration of Cleveland fans and think LeBron is a royal prick, uh, it’s just sports. Let’s all move on people. Ok fine, let’s move on after this game, I’ll give you that much.

.638

Despite Vince Young’s stellar record as a starter in Tennessee and his .638 winning percentage, it appears his days in the Music City are numbered. After being booed and subsequently injured, Young made his way to the locker room to get taped up to return. But coach Jeff Fisher opted to go with rookie quarterback Rusty Smith and that sent Young into a tizzy. He allegedly threw his shoulder pads into the stands and stormed out of the media session in the post game. All in all, including the 19-16 loss to the Redskins, not a good day if you’re a Titans fan.

123.1

In the battle of the two best quarterbacks of the last decade, it was Tom Brady and his hair that came out on top. Peyton Manning had a 4th quarter comeback all but sealed up but threw a costly interception in the red zone. His numbers for the day were less than Peyton-esque too, four touchdowns with three interceptions. Brady, however, was his usual self. A ho-hum 186 yards, 2 touchdowns and a 123.1 passer rating.

4

The Brett Favre-Jenn Sterger case, for some reason, is still going on. I’d guess it’s because Jenn desperately wants to keep herself in the news. Regardless of the reason, the investigation movies into the CSI lab this week. “The NFL is conducting high-tech forensic work to trace the electronic pathways and transmission of any photos or messages that might have been sent during communication between them, according to a source familiar with the situation.”

45

As the days and weeks go on, I sincerely believe there’s now a chance that Derek Jeter, the pride of the New York Yankees, will be in a different uniform next year. After initially being offered a 3-year, $45 million dollar deal, Jeter and Yankees management have gone back and forth using the media as their middleman. It’s gotten so bad that Jeter’s agent, Casey Close, issued this statement yesterday. “Derek’s significance to the team is much more than just stats. And yet, the Yankees’ negotiating strategy remains baffling.”

9-6

The worst thing for Nebraska fans this weekend wasn’t the 9-6 loss to Texas A&M, no, that was the least of their concerns. Rumors began swirling late Saturday night into Sunday that their Heisman candidate and quarterback Taylor Martinez had quit the team. It had gone so viral that it was the #1 search on Google last night and it forced Cornhuskers coach Bo Pelini to address it. “He’s still on the team,” Pelini said. We’ll see about that.

Somebody at baseball-reference.com seems to think so as well. Screen grab of their home page right now.

The ins and outs of baseball statistics are not only over my head, but they’re exceedingly boring to me. UZR, DRS, etc…None of that means diddly poo to me (thank you Jim Mora). Eyeball test? There is no way Derek Jeter is the best defensive shortstop in baseball. No freakin way. That is all.

You may now commence piling on Jeter in the comments below.

Fortunately, the Rays came back to win the game but not before Curtis Granderson slammed a 2-run homer after Jeter was hit.

After the game, Jeter offered his views on the matter:

“Fortunately for us, it paid off at the time. But it would have been a bigger story if we would have won that game.”

There’s clearly an uproar about this around the web. And while I despise the Yankees, I can’t say this situation is any different than any number of plays that happen week in/week out in sports.

Do basketball players throw their arms up in the air and pretend like they got fouled? Absolutely.
Do hockey players dive to draw penalties? Yep.
Do football players lie about being drawn offsides? Without a doubt.

So let’s put the pitchforks and torches down for now. But hey, feel free to laugh at the Yankees for other reasons.

CLASSY...

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

>>> Karissa Shannon apparently has another, different sex tape floating around. I wonder if that’s the tape that she claims Spencer Pratt stole from her. Vivid Entertainment is waiting for Karissa’s approval to release the tape, which should happen in 3… 2… 1…

>>> Playboy released some new nearly naked pictures of Kim Kardashian. And get this: She’s actually mad about it. WTF, indeed.

>>> Lindsay Lohan wants to have a baby. Don’t we have laws against that sort of thing?

>>> Britney Spears sexually harassed a man for a soda. A soda? Cheetos I could see, but a soda? Kevin Federline’s got her back though so it’s all good.

>>> Paris Hilton hid drugs in her vagina. That’s one surefire way to make sure she never, ever had to share them with anyone. I wonder if that was part of the “special treatment” she received while in jail?

>>> Playboy model Tiffany Livingston tried to open a plane door mid-flight. Yeah, I don’t know who she is either.

>>> Kirstie Alley’s house smells like a zoo. I know what you’re thinking, but it because she has 25 or so pets. Then again, maybe it is what you think.

>>> Minka Kelly flipped out on a plane over a dog and asked her beau Derek Jeter to speak with the pilot about it. I did not make that up.

>>> Vince Neil was accused of assaulting a woman in an elevator. Steven Tyler had no comment (think about it for a second).

>>> Floyd Mayweather is being sought in a potential domestic violence case. He is under suspicion for beating up the mother of his child.

>>> Kevin Spacey – not gay.

>>> Angelina Jolie – no friends.

>>> Lisa Marie Presley – drunk.

>>> And finally, Nicolas Cage’s pyramid tomb seems to be coming along well.

Today’s sexy video comes to us via Rolling Stone who took one of the hottest women on the planet, Sofia Vergara, and had her put on one hell of a smokeshow for the camera. You’re gonna need a cold shower after this one, folks.

Minka Kelly and her shortstop boyfriend Derek Jeter went to the Villa Nova restaurant the other day. Yep, they’re still dating. I know. Sucks, right? Anyhoo, it seems that Derek can be a real gentleman when the urge strikes. See how he opened the door to the restaurant for her? So nice. Apparently that doesn’t apply to car doors though, where Minka is left to do the work all by herself. And yes, I know I am nitpicking, but when a couple is as perfect as these two are it’s finding small flaws like that that get me through the day. Shut up.

a) The Pats getting blown out at home
b) #1 Kansas losing to 6 scholarship players on Tennessee
c) News that Derek Jeter was getting hitched

Let me remind you of some of the women Jeter has had rumored hook-ups with.

Mariah Carey
Jessica Biel
Jessica Alba
Adriana Lima
Vanessa Minnillo
Vida Guerra
Jordana Brewster
Rachel Uchitel

Yea, maybe some of those are a little iffy, but nonetheless the man was getting around with some of Hollywood’s finest. And now it seems like he wants to settle down. Can you blame him really?

Judging from these pics of Minka in a bikini in St. Barts, he’s made a fine, fine decision.

Too bad congratulations were not in order for these two as rumors of their engagement turned out to be false.

In other news, Minka Kelly is still hot

Minka and Derek Jeter now? {Busted Coverage}

The Robot effect that ruined music {Yep Yep}

Miss Co-ed Nicole Silva {Co-ed Mag}

Sarah Palin on SNL {Cuzoogle}

Sexually assaulting a vacuum {Mlive}

These shots were taken at the 36th Annual FIFI Awards in New York City. (No. Fucking. Idea. When do these people actually work?)

By the way, Derek Jeter is apparently trying to hook up with Miss Kelly and somehow make me despise the Yankees even more than I already do.