There’s another way for a horse to kill you which also involves the word asshole. Arguably more embarrassing to explain at the funeral too.

So I wanted to put this in the first paragraph but it was too wordy, but I have NO CLUE at all if this thing kicking the dude is a horse or a donkey. The video itself is in a foreign language that I don’t even recognize and nowhere in an English-speaking land has posted it. So can someone with knowledge on The Great Horse/Donkey Debate PLEASE tell me if this is a horse or a donkey? I haven’t had so many unanswered questions about a four-legged creature since walking in on my parents during their “Date Night.”

Girlfriend found weird vids I made?

Before going out with my girlfriend I was kind of obsessed with her. I took pictures I had of her and scanned them into a japanese program that creates a 3d model of her which you can then ummmm… have your way with. Ahem.

I made about 50 different videos with this software, most of them were of her making love and performing oral sex on a 3d model of myself, and sometimes multiple versions of me. Others involved machines….you get the idea.

I eventually worked up the courage to talk to her and we ended up hitting it off and are now a couple, the problem is that she used my computer and ended up finding the vids even though they were buried inside multiple folders. Of course she was pretty freaked out, especially since the titles of the vids were needlessly crude on my part. She said she had to leave and needs some time alone.

If the program had options for making cuddling on the couch and walking through a park while holding hands videos there would have been far more of those, I hope she doesnt think that I view her as some kind of sexual object because I truly do love her

How can I smooth this over with her?

Well, I have a simple solution how you might be able to smooth things over with the girl. It involves letting her out of the hole you’ve stuck her in, forcing her to subsist off scraps and buckets of your jizm. That’d be a good start, at least.

I certainly agree that this is a creepy thing. However, I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t relate. I’ve done something similar many times. In fact, I’m doing it right now. I draw flipbooks of every person I’ve ever met getting sodomized by a donkey dressed like a surfer. I can’t tell you why, but I feel like it allows me to really get to the soul of that person. And that donkey. I know you, donkey. Your hopes, your dreams, I know.

[via, original Yahoo Answer]

Sigh, I can’t remember the last time my donkey looked at me like that. Our love life used to be so vibrant and healthy. Now I make him dinner and he just watches football and goes to bed. Do you think he might be cheating on me? Oh God I would just die. After all I did for him! That bastard!