There are a lot of things you can blame on promiscuous women; these bumps on my genitals, for example. But earthquakes? Not so much. But that’s what one Iranian cleric is claiming, saying that increased sexuality and the ensuing adultery are leading to the huge rises in earthquakes.

There are a lot of things you can blame on promiscuous women; these bumps on my genitals, for example. But earthquakes? Not so much. But that’s what one Iranian cleric is claiming, saying that increased sexuality and the ensuing adultery are leading to the huge rises in earthquakes.

There’s an earthquake in her pants and everyone’s invited.

According to a BBC News report:

Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, the acting Friday prayer leader in Tehran, said women should stick to strict codes of modesty to protect themselves.

“Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes,” he explained.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes,” he said.

There have been tens of thousands of people killed in earthquakes in Iran over the course of the past decade. Seismologists say that’s primarily due to the country’s place being situated on a series of tectonic fault lines.

I’d rather go with Sediqi’s theory though. And frankly, I think we should salute Iranian men today. They must really have a lot of torque on their pumps to be causing earthquakes with sex. You’re not killing tens of thousands through your relations with a promiscuous woman with standard missionary and a five-pump chump. There’s apparently more jackhammering going on in Iran than there are building the 10,000 foot skyscrapers in Dubai.

Iranian cleric blames quakes on promiscuous women [BBC News]