Have you ever seen tap water burst into flames? Well, welcome to flavor country my friend because you’re about to see something magical. Or chemical. Definitely one of the two.

The video is from a new documentary about a Colorado town who, after getting drilled for natural gas, got hit with this, shall we say, not normal thing.

I don’t know why that says “Do Not Drink This Water”…what it should say is, “If you’re going to drink this water, prepare to get crunk.” You can probably omit “then possibly dead” from the note. People just want to have a good time, man, don’t kill their buzz.

[Consumerist]

Just a word of warning…no matter how sexy you found Little Shop of Horrors, Venus Flytraps are not an acceptable substitute for a Fleshlight or, *gasp, a real woman. In fact, very few plants can adequately provide sexual joy. Think about it. How many times have you seen a dandelion ejaculate? Exactly.

Yesterday was Earth Day and you can tell how much I gave a crap over how often I mentioned it. I just don’t care about saving the world…if the world wants to kick us off it for having too many factories that make too much rubber vomit or Rascal scooters, then f it, who cares. And then people have the nerve to get mad at me because I use plastic water bottles instead of refilling them at the water cooler. Mother Earth can go screw. I would f a panda in its ass if it meant that would somehow undo the “good” things all the environmental-type people do. Or if it were a particularly sexy panda.