Eva Longoria is ever the busy little beaver since her breakup with hubby Tony Parker. She’s been flying all over the world with her new boyfriend and apparently doing photo shoots for things like Haute Living magazine. I don’t know what Haute Living magazine is, so if it ]]>

Topless with a horse... okay, I see how she rolls now...

Eva Longoria is ever the busy little beaver since her breakup with hubby Tony Parker. She’s been flying all over the world with her new boyfriend and apparently doing photo shoots for things like Haute Living magazine. I don’t know what Haute Living magazine is, so if it weren’t for that photo you see above these pics never would have made it on to this site. Though I guess the video is kind of entertaining if you’re into that sort of thing.

In case you missed it, Desperate Housewives’ Eva Longoria made an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, and what an appearance it was. The newly single Longoria wore the tiniest of outfits including a suit coat that just couldn’t seem to stay closed. “I ]]>

In case you missed it, Desperate Housewives’ Eva Longoria made an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, and what an appearance it was. The newly single Longoria wore the tiniest of outfits including a suit coat that just couldn’t seem to stay closed.

“I wore a tuxedo for you,” said Eva.

“I guess you did. Or part of one,” replied Dave.

The mere fact that Letterman was even able to continue the show after this display speaks volumes as to what a consummate professional he truly is. Lord knows, I would have had to stop the show and go take a cold shower… or something.

Letterman Gets Completely Distracted by Eva Longoria’s Skimpy Outfit (VIDEO) [TV Squad]

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Olivia Wilde is now single again after eight years of marriage… to an Italian prince. I truly have no shot with her, do I?

— Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz also filed for ]]>

— Olivia Wilde is now single again after eight years of marriage… to an Italian prince. I truly have no shot with her, do I?

— Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz also filed for divorce. Gotta say this one isn’t shocking me.

— Katy Perry and Russell Brand are already in marriage counseling. Still not shocking me.

— Speaking of Katy Perry, it seems that she is now complaining about having big boobs as a teen. Boo. Frickin’. Hoo.

— Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz were caught kissing on a boat in Miami. Who’s Eduardo Cruz again?

— Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are reportedly going to be engaged soon. How someone knows this is beyond me, but it isn’t going to help Jay’s loveability factor in Chi-town.

— Speaking of athletes and their ladies, skateboarding legend Tony Hawk is sleeping with his best friend’s wife.

— Speaking of wives, Diane Kruger doesn’t believe in marriage.

— JWoww has a new book out.

— Minka Kelly is very smart and well-spoken.

— Lindsay Lohan was in court again. This time for ‘borrowing’ some jewelry. Here’s a shocker: She got bail despite her DUI probation being revoked. Viva la justice system!

— Jennifer Aniston banned Heidi Montag from a movie premiere (a movie Heidi appeared in). That almost makes me like Jennifer Aniston again. (UPDATE: Annd now I don’t like her again.)

— And finally, if you thought Christina Aguilera singing the national anthem was bad, well, there’s a good reason for that: she’s a wee bit crazy.

— Oh well, at least Xtina has Sarah Palin in her corner.

This week’s sexy video comes to us from the fine people over at FHM and features Vikki Blows (my favorite model name in the world) in her “smalls”, as they put it (silly Brits).

You can see more of Vikki Blows and the 100 Sexiest Women at FHM.com.

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Shakira has decided to call it off with her boyfriend of 11 years. Behind me in line there, buddy.

— Keira Knightley is also now single. For some reason I don’t care about ]]>

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Shakira has decided to call it off with her boyfriend of 11 years. Behind me in line there, buddy.

— Keira Knightley is also now single. For some reason I don’t care about that as much.

— Tom Hanks’ son is a rapper. Also, his name is Chet.

— Charlie Sheen sure knows how to party. With pr0n stars. Three to be exact. At the same time.

— The 2011 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover model short list has been revealed and it’s a who’s who of who? (I’m betting on Irina Shayk.)

— The Los Angeles County Coroner says Michael Jackson’s death should have been ruled a homicide.

— Gucci Mane got a new face tattoo and as face tattoos go this one is about as different as one could be.

— Kelsey Grammer might be a cross dresser.

— Eva Longoria? Bankrupt.

— Winona Ryder? Crazy.

— Kate Hudson? Pregnant.

— Victoria Beckham — also pregnant.

— JWoww now says that she was under anesthesia in those alleged nude photos that are just waiting to be released. “Under anesthesia” has to be code for something, right?

— Mike Tyson is being sued for $115 million. And it’s one doozy of a lawsuit too.

— Speaking of a lot of jack, 50 Cent made $8.7 million on Twitter. That is NOT a typo.

— Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway and Jessica Biel are scheduled have test screenings for the next Batman movie. I vote for Jessica.

— And finally, Lea Michele is kind of a c-word. But she’s sorry about that, so it’s okay.

This week’s sexy video is a follow-up on an earlier post we did here that featured Jessica Alba in a bikini for Harper’s Bazaar. Did I mention Jessica Alba in a bikini?

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds broke up, much to the delight of all the men in the world who somehow think they have a shot at her. (Yes, I am referring to me.)

—

— Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds broke up, much to the delight of all the men in the world who somehow think they have a shot at her. (Yes, I am referring to me.)

— Vanessa Hudgens is single now too. The line for potential suitors starts behind me (just as soon as I’m sure ScarJo isn’t interested).

— Elizabeth Hurley will soon be joining them on the most eligible list as well it would appear. When it rains, it pours, baby…

— Your nightmare fuel for the weekend: Kelsey Grammer has a sex tape.

— Carrie Fisher kinda, sorta outed John Travolta this week. Consider me stunned.

— Vladimir Putin has one f**kin’ hot mistress. Time for Obama to step his shit up.

— Winona Ryder thinks Mel Gibson’s a prick too.

— Speaking of odd things related to sex: Hulk Hogan married his son’s daughter’s doppleganger, Jennifer McDaniel.

— Remember how Rip Torn broke into a Connecticut bank while drunk and armed? Well he did. And as is customary with our judicial system he will not be serving any jail time. Did I mention he pleaded guilty to the charges?

— Did Mario Lopez break up Eva Longoria’s marriage? Sure, why not.

— Not one to be left out of all the fun, Demi Lovato has a sexy leaked photo now.

— Christina Aguilera is apparently a really, really good girlfriend.

— Remember Kelly Rowland? Well, even if you don’t, the IRS sure does.

— Britney Spears is not real thrilled that her parents are getting back together.

— Steven Tyler… also not happy about… something.

– And finally, Katy Perry/Brand got drunk.

This week’s sexy video comes to us from Victoria’s Secret (who else?) featuring their many superdupermodels in a holiday commercial directed by Michael Bay.

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Did Miley Cyrus leak a naked sext of herself or was it stolen? Or is it all a complete and total hoax? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

— Speaking of girls being bad, there is an alleged ]]>

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Did Miley Cyrus leak a naked sext of herself or was it stolen? Or is it all a complete and total hoax? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

— Speaking of girls being bad, there is an alleged “graphic video” of one Jenny on the Block that shows shows new Boys & Girls Club spokesperson Jennifer Lopez “without underwear” and with her “vagina in plain view.” So I guess now we should refer to her as Vay-J-Lo.

— Gossip Girl execs have told Taylor Momsen that they will not requiring her services for awhile. Excuse me while I laugh my freaking ass off.

— And if Taylor Momsen is considered a ridiculous diva, and she is, what exactly does that make Rachel Uchitel?

— Britney Spears’ boyfriend, Jason Trawick, hits her. Or not.

— Lindsay Lohan is seeking a restraining order against the paparazzi. Not just one photographer, the ENTIRE paparazzi. Good luck with that, LiLo.

— Angelina Jolie has managed to make Bosnian rape victims even sadder than they already were. A truly amazing feat.

— Here’s a shocker: Megan Fox being at little league baseball games increases the attendance at said games.

— I guess this qualifies as news: Christina Aguilera was sad about her divorce. So sad that Xtina’s already hooked up with a new fella.

— Mischa Barton says she’s not crazy. Like we’re supposed to believe anything a crazy person says.

— It’s official: Kim Kardashian will put her name next to any product — even toilets.

— Continuing his quest to bang every warm thing in Hollywood, John Mayer has his eye on Eva Longoria.

— Charlie Sheen is being sued by that hooker he kidnapped. That’s okay though, he is suing her right on back. Can someone please make a movie of his life already?

— Speaking of Chuck, his texts to the hooker are quite the read.

— John F. Kennedy assassin Lee Harvey Oswald’s coffin is up for auction. In case you were in the market for that sort of thing.

— And finally some nightmare fuel for you: Khloe Kardashian lost her virginity when she was 14.

This week’s sexy video comes to us from the fine folk over at FHM.com and features UK soap star Michelle Keegan. Michelle is famous (at least in my book) for being a smokin’ hot babe who is one of the rare women over there not to pose topless in a lad mag. That being said, this video puts her one very, very sexy step closer to that becoming a reality. Enjoy!

Check out more of Michelle Keegan or the lingerie buyer’s guide at FHM.com.

Is it me or this Tony Parker-Eva Longoria drama quickly becoming the 2010 version of Tiger Woods-Elin Nordegren? All we need now is a busted up SUV this Friday with Eva hurling basketballs at Tony while rapping in French. Come to think of it, ]]>

Is it me or this Tony Parker-Eva Longoria drama quickly becoming the 2010 version of Tiger Woods-Elin Nordegren? All we need now is a busted up SUV this Friday with Eva hurling basketballs at Tony while rapping in French. Come to think of it, Tony, you may want to watch your back this week buddy.

The newest wrinkle in the story is Parker sexting a 19-year old British girl half-naked pics of himself. See, I knew we were missing something in this story–naked pics. I only wish they would have come from Eva.

The 19-year-old Brit, Sophia Egeler, apparently met Tony at an Ultimate Fighting show at the O2 Arena in London. Sophia told the paper, “From the minute he met me he was trying it on. I had no idea he was Eva Longoria’s husband. He would not take no for an answer and was telling me how much he liked me.”

Tony soon sent Sophia a half naked text, then asking her; “Do you want a sexier one still?” A rep for Tony denies the report and says Tony never sexted, or texted Egeler. The rep adds that Tony would not have been able to have met the woman at the Ultimate Fighting show at the O2 Arena because he was in training camp at the time.

I’d love to give you a more detailed explanation but I yield to my Taiwanese friends, who do a much better job of it than I do.

Video via Hot Clicks:

Guyism’s daily look at what’s hot in the world of sports.

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Tony Parker’s 21 points helped the Spurs defeat the Bulls last night. But a win was the least of Parker’s concerns. As we told you yesterday, Parker’s soon to be ex-wife ]]>

Guyism’s daily look at what’s hot in the world of sports.

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Tony Parker’s 21 points helped the Spurs defeat the Bulls last night. But a win was the least of Parker’s concerns. As we told you yesterday, Parker’s soon to be ex-wife Eva Longoria filed for divorce yesterday and rumors abound that Parker is having a relationship with Brent Barry’s wife, Erin. For now, it’s just that, rumors. But when A.C. Slater is the one spreading the gossip, hey, I generally listen.

82

No, this is not a cruel joke–Blazers center Greg Oden will undergo season-ending microfracture surgery on Friday. Stop us if you’ve heard that one before. The former #1 overall pick felt pain in his knee about two weeks ago that was unrelated to his patella injury from last year. Moreover, with the loss of the rest of the season, Greg will have played 82 games in exactly 3 years. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for a contract extension.

183,232

Tiger Woods has escaped from the hole he’s been hiding under for about a year now and released a whole new man via Twitter yesterday. At last count he was up to 183,232 followers. His tweets have been, uh, less than interesting. “Yep, it’s me. I think I like this twitter thing. You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the love.” Riveting stuff I tell ya.

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The Wisconsin-Indiana blowout from last weekend is still a topic of discussion for many college football fans. Many felt that Wisconsin was piling on by throwing the ball in the 4th quarter in their 83-20 win. For what it’s worth, Indiana coach Bill Lynch went out of his way to say that his guys didn’t do a good job stopping them even with the Badgers playing backups. Yes, you’re right Bill….and now, you’re fired. Exit stage left please.

194

In a span of 194 seconds, a closely fought tied game between the Blues and the Wings turned into a blowout. The Wings scored four goals, all from different players to dispose of the Blues rather quickly in the third period.

Eva Longoria has filed for divorce from Spurs guard Tony Parker according to People Magazine. This comes one day after Longoria’s reps told TMZ the rumors weren’t true.

The Desperate Housewives star’s documents were filed in Los Angeles Superior ]]>

Eva Longoria has filed for divorce from Spurs guard Tony Parker according to People Magazine. This comes one day after Longoria’s reps told TMZ the rumors weren’t true.

The Desperate Housewives star’s documents were filed in Los Angeles Superior Court just one day after her rep denied that Parker had done the same in a Texas court.

Longoria, 35, and Parker, 27, were engaged in November 2006, then wed – as fireworks lit up the sky – on July 7, 2007, at Chateau of Vaux le Vicomte, a 17th Century castle on the outskirts of Paris one day after a small civil service. The double wedding celebrating came after a week of partying in Saint-Tropez, France.

It appears that Parker has sent thousands of texts messages to a woman that both him and his wife are friends with. Although, from the sounds of it, sexting was the least of what was going on.

PHOTOS: Eva Longoria forgot her pants

We now eagerly await either of their statements on the situation. More so because I’m dying to use this new Desperate Housewives joke I’ve been working on. You know, because she’s not going to be one anymore.

Eva Longoria Files for Divorce from Tony Parker [People]

Eva Longoria, who has openly admitted that without the hair and makeup people is not all that special, put those people to tremendous use in the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar Russia. Seriously, I love those hair and makeup people. And the graphic designers. They make all ]]>

Eva Longoria, who has openly admitted that without the hair and makeup people is not all that special, put those people to tremendous use in the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar Russia. Seriously, I love those hair and makeup people. And the graphic designers. They make all of our lives so much better. Just imagine the world without them. Actually, don’t. It’s not pretty.

As you know by now, The 2010 Emmy Awards took place last night. Some shows won, some lost, some people won, some lost, but more importantly it was a great excuse for a whole bunch of sexy celebrity ladies to put on their best attire and pose for photographs. ]]>

As you know by now, The 2010 Emmy Awards took place last night. Some shows won, some lost, some people won, some lost, but more importantly it was a great excuse for a whole bunch of sexy celebrity ladies to put on their best attire and pose for photographs. Among those appearing at last night’s festivities were (in order below): Anna Paquin, Brooke Burke, Carrie Ann Inaba, Claire Danes, Emily Blunt, Emily Deschanel, Eva Longoria, Heidi Klum, January Jones, Jayma Mays, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Julie Benz, Kim Kardashian, Lauren Graham, Lea Michele, Maria Menounos, Olivia Munn, Sofia Vergara, and Stephanie Pratt. Oh yeah, and Christina Hendricks (I hear you guys like her).

I’m not sure what Eva Longoria is doing here on the set of something called Without Men, but whatever it is, she just made me want to see that show/movie/whatever. More shows/movies could learn a thing or two about this type of fantastic marketing. Make it look like an ]]>

I’m not sure what Eva Longoria is doing here on the set of something called Without Men, but whatever it is, she just made me want to see that show/movie/whatever. More shows/movies could learn a thing or two about this type of fantastic marketing. Make it look like an accident or whatever, but anytime you have a chick with a hot bod in your show, you really should have them at least once during the production of the show ‘accidentally’ leave her trailer with no pants on. If anyone is interested, I have many more ideas that can generate buzz for your show. They mostly include naked women, but hey, I know what puts asses in seats.

>>> Mad Men’s January Jones not only did the walk of shame the other day, she also apparently had a bit of trouble keeping her car off of other cars (she may have been drunk), if you believe the fine ]]>

>>> Mad Men’s January Jones not only did the walk of shame the other day, she also apparently had a bit of trouble keeping her car off of other cars (she may have been drunk), if you believe the fine men and women of the LAPD, who said, January “was driving a Range Rover … when she allegedly lost control, hit the other cars and caused some major damage. We’re told a witness reported the accident to police and claimed that January fled on foot after saying, ‘I can’t deal with this commotion.’” Yes, I hate it when I cause a commotion and have to deal with the consequences. Such a pain.

>>> Let’s just get our weekly dose of Lilo out of the way right now. As you know Lindsay Lohan got hauled back into court this week because her SCRAM bracelet went off, meaning she consumed alcohol (there is no argument here). And sensing the chance to jump back into the spotlight Lindsay’s mom Dina decided to drop some “truth” on us saying, “[Lindsay] was at the MTV Awards and somebody spilled a drink on her leg, which must have set off the SCRAM bracelet. She has done absolutely nothing wrong and shouldn’t have to wear the bracelet in the first place. She is doing absolutely fine.” Except that doesn’t make any sense.

There is a bright side to this story though: The courts, being the great protectors of society that they are, have decided that if Lindsay just can’t help herself and MUST have a drink, she can. And it will only cost her $10,000 a drink. I put Lindsay’s court date in bankruptcy court somewhere around August 1 of this year.

Oh yeah, one more thing, Lindsay is going to be on Celebrity Apprentice. That should be fun.

>>> Speaking of former teen superstars/train wrecks, Britney Spears is back in the news… for allegedly sexually harassing one of her bodyguards. It really never ends for Brit and Lilo, does it?

>>> And speaking of celebrities who no matter what they do just can’t seem to get themselves into jail, Charlie Sheen, who last week was concerned about not being able to smoke during his incarceration, has managed to delay his lockup even longer thanks to the jail’s administrative officer who thinks Charile shouldn’t be eligible for work release. So now the jailers are even trying to keep him out of jail, or in jail, or something…

>>> Remember Sarah Palin? Well, she’s back in the news for something I thought I would never see. People are now speculating that the former VP candidate has had some re-construction done on her upper floor. Says the folks over at Wonkette, “we can report with confidence that at least two people with experience in having breasts say that Sarah Palin sure looks like she was trotting out some new work at the horse races on Sunday.” Consider this your political update for the year on this site.

>>> In news that surprises no one, because in general people are insane, Kristen Stewart has a stalker. I say people are insane, not because someone is stalking a celebrity, but because they chose her. K-Stew is, of course, taking it very seriously, insisting that no crazy “will keep me from living my own life”. I’m not supposed to root for the stalker here, right?

>>> Remember a week or two ago when I reported that “The Big One” Khloe Kardashian was pregnant with Lamar Odom’s child? Well, it’s not true, proving that indeed there is a God.

>>> Our favorite psycho supermodel, Naomi Campbell, made news again this week, and yeah, it’s pretty much for what you’d figure it was for. Naomi allegedly refused to walk up some stairs because a lift was broken – on a promotional appearance to plug her own perfume, then walked out of the live television show, and now she is being sued. How much would you give to make Naomi work at McDonald’s or as a secretary for a week? There’s a reality show I would watch.

>>> Eva Longoria is being sued by the former managers and co-owners of her restaurant Beso. They basically claim she strongarmed them and accused them of stealing and punching a customer, but, of course, they want their jobs back. It’s Beso, after all!!

>>> I told myself I wouldn’t talk about this, but in an effort to make sure that 100% of the population knows just how truly stupid Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are (98% just won’t do!) here we go… Heidi filed for separation from Spencer. Oh no!! You mean they might have a fake divorce of their fake marriage some day?!! Idiots…

>>> In news that is sure to register not a blip on your excitement meter, one of the “Real Housewives” of something or another is releasing a sex tape. Someone named Danielle Staub is featured in it. Yeah, I have no clue who she is either.

>>> In news that will bring a smile to your face, someone stole Kanye West’s car… his $133,000 Porsche Panamera. But wait, it gets better… He got the car back, but not until someone crashed it into a multimillion-dollar house. See? I told you it would make you smile!

>>> Oh yeah, Lady Gaga went to a Mets game, flipped off the fans, and kissed a chick. Just another day in the life…

The Metropolitan Museum of Art held their annual Costume Institute Gala last night and I guess the event is some kind of big deal since just about every sexy celebrity in the world got all dressed up and attended the event. Those who made the trip to the Met ]]>

The Metropolitan Museum of Art held their annual Costume Institute Gala last night and I guess the event is some kind of big deal since just about every sexy celebrity in the world got all dressed up and attended the event. Those who made the trip to the Met included (in order below) Christina Hendricks, Rachel Bilson, Alessandra Ambrosio, Emma Watson, Bar Refaeli, Sienna Miller (with Jude Law?), Katy Perry, Kate Hudson, Kristen Bell, Blake Lively, Taylor Swift, Doutzen Kroes, Karolina Kurkova, Emmy Rossum, Kristen Stewart, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Anne Hathaway, Claire Danes, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez, Malin Akerman, Eva Mendes, Jessica Stam, and Jessica Szohr. Amazingly, this wasn’t even the complete list of babes in attendance. I think we have a new record for most sexy celebrity women at one event. Now how do I get tickets to next year’s shindig?