Maybe visiting a theme park or laying on some sunny beach with a Mai Tai isn’t really your idea of a great vacation. Telling coworkers about your shark diving adventure or Mt. Everest expedition will certainly be more interesting than Bob’s photos from California wine country. They’re sure to be impressed, a bit jealous, and possibly questioning your sanity.

1 Gorilla Safari
One of the most mysterious and revered animals in the jungle, Mountain Gorillas have remained largely inaccessible to most people. And for good reason, years of poaching and civil war in Central Africa have left fewer than 700 of these apes in the wild. Generally known as “gentle giants” male silverbacks can weigh up to 400lbs and will defend their group with serious “whoop-ass capabilities” if needed. Four day safaris in Rwanda’s Volcanoes National Park are available to wildlife goers. A good rule of thumb for observing Mountain Gorillas, don’t look’em directly in the eye – it’s a sign of hostility. Kind of like in prison.

2 Big Game Safari Hunting
Gun crazy or PETA for life, whatever your views on hunting may be, that’s not the issue here. Hunting a 4,000lb elephant or 250lb lion on the African savanna is sure to provide an adrenaline rush… or get you killed. It’s not often that a game hunter is taken out by the very prey they’re stalking, but it does happen. However, for those that are willing to shell out $9,000-20,000 for big game safari hunts, that’s a price they’re willing to take.

3 Diving with Great Whites
Remember that scene in Jaws, where Richard Dryfus is in the shark cage with the spear gun waiting, then the shark rams the cage and he almost get’s eaten? Doesn’t that sound like fun?! If Shark Week on the Discovery Channel just isn’t doing it for you anymore, now you can get up close and personal with Great Whites. Shark diving tours off the coasts of South Africa and Mexico put you face to face with these 20-ft long swimming garbage disposals. Just a steel cage, between you and rows of teeth… lots of teeth. Try it with Makos and Blue Sharks, sans free the cage for an extra rush.

4 Tow-in Surfing
Not for the casual surfer who’s just looking to catch some waves on a day off from the office. Tow- in surfing involves a motorized watercraft that tows another surfer out to otherwise unreachable big waves. It involves quite a bit of skill, as well as dependability on the person operating the watercraft to pick you up before the next big wave hits. A good deal of tow-in surfing is done off the coasts of Hawaii, South Africa and Australia – which are all frequented by Great White sharks. So, that’s giant waves, the possibility of drowning, and sharks – vaya con Dios, brah!

5 Extreme Mountain Biking
The word “extreme” gets tossed around in sports a lot and has become somewhat watered down over the years. Yet, there is probably no better word (other than insane) for riding the Cliffs of Moher on Ireland’s Atlantic coast. Try to imagine riding on rock ledges only 6 inches wide, 600 feet above the rocky shoreline with unforgiving winds constantly attempting to pull you off balance. That’s just what Hans Rey and Steve Peat did in 2006, purely for the thrill of it. But unless you have a death wish it’s probably best to leave the Huffy in the garage when visiting the Emerald Isle’s coast.

6 Heli-Skiing
When double black-diamonds don’t provide enough of a challenge and you really need to impress the snow-bunnies at the ski lodge, try heli-skiing. Here’s what you’ll need: A pair of skis or snowboard, helicopter, and balls – big ones. Lured by untouched snow covered peaks and pure solitude, being dropped off on a remote mountain top by helicopter to ski down is the ultimate rush for winter sports enthusiasts. Valdez Heli-Camps offers tours to Alaska’s 13,000 feet Chugach mountain range. Just don’t expect the ski patrol to come to your rescue with hot chocolate should you get cold feet.

7 Climb Mount Everest
If you like hiking, camping, comradery with friends and frostbite, then climbing Mount Everest might the vacation for you. Located on the border of Nepal and Tibet, its peak of 29,000 feet was first climbed by Sir Edmund Hilary and Tenzing Norgay in 1953. Once climbers reach the “death zone” (altitudes higher than 26,000 ft) low atmospheric pressure, high winds, slipping on ice and frostbite become severe threats. 179 people have died in pursuit of the summit and many of the bodies have never been recovered. Climbing packages can cost up to $60,000, but upon completion of the climb you get a cool “I climbed Mt. Everest, Bitches” t-shirt. Totally worth it.

on 205th recommends…

on 205th recommends…

He actually got up, dusted himself off and ended up finishing second. Amazing.

H/T: Awful Announcing

This first one comes from a site of hot chicks doing extreme sports called XXtreeme.com (sort of SFW, theoretically). I think you have to reward people who really stick to a niche.

This one sort of looks like my apartment on Friday nights in which I make the women compete in gladiator-esque fights to the death for the rights to be romanced by me. Only this is with actual women instead of stuffed animals.

This one is from something called MILFmania, created by some rock station in Orlando. I’m not going to say that this is the greatest rock station ever, but it’s probably the greatest rock station ever. Yes I can get my “rock block” and my “Get the Led Out Tuesdays” from any K-Rock or whatever around the country. But can I get MILFs playing beach dodgeball at all of those? DOUBTFUL. Who cares that they probably haven’t been fertile since Quiet Riot was culturally relevant?

Stripper dodgeball is, well, exactly what it sounds. In this crazy work-a-day world, who has time for false advertisement? Skip to 1:45 in to save yourself from the rest of the Spike TV nonsense.

Skip all the way to the end for this one. “There isn’t much hotness in this one,” you say. Well, if it’s wrong to find a woman getting knocked unconscious to the floor by a rubber ball “hot”, then I don’t want to be right. Or convicted. Note: She totally didn’t actually break her neck like the video claims. A dodgeball hurts, sure, but you’d have to be made of Teddy Grahams to get bones broken by one.

BONUS: The sexiest video of all perhaps. Big boobs, bikinis, balls flying. Too bad it’s all dudes. But hey, if you take that out of the equation…niiiiiice.