But the patriots at Juicy, LLC, created “Juicy’s Outlaw Burger” to remind those hosers just who the real fatties are: America. And now we hold the record for “World’s Biggest Burger” again, thanks to this 777-pound behemoth.

“The old record was held in Canada and we wanted to bring it home to America on the 4th of July,” Nick Nicora, one of the heroes involved in the creation of this monster.

What’s in this beast of beef?

Well, courtesy of Today’s “Bites” blog, it contains 600 pounds of beef, 30 pounds of lettuce, 12 pounds of pickles, 20 pounds of onions, 110 pounds of bun and is three feet thick and five feet long.

Oh yes, and it clocks in at 1,375,000 calories.

Which is like 5 or 10 Weight Watchers points for those of you trying to burn those Fourth of July lovehandles off.

This is not the fat kid in question, but wow, what a cool fatty

A mother is being charged with neglecting her obese teenage son, raising issues about whether the government has the right to intervene in one’s family life.

Born and raised in South Carolina, Alexander Draper grew up to reach a dangerous 555 pounds by the age of 14. That’s when law enforcement stepped in.

“The first and foremost concern is Alexander’s health,” Lt. Shea Smith told CBS News.

Alexander’s mother, Jerri Gray, was charged with unlawful neglect of a child for allowing him to become obese.

“There have been opportunities to get Alexander some treatment over the course of the last several months and unfortunately some of those things have not been taken advantage of,” Smith said.

But Gray, released from jail Monday on $50,000 bond, says she does not have enough money to get her son the treatment he needs.

If anything, isn’t this the exact opposite of neglect? Shouldn’t she be charged with overglect or something? I mean yeah, she didn’t get the kid treatment, but clearly she kept pumping him with something delicious so at least she cared on some level.

Maybe we can just feed her son’s fat to African children and solve two problems at once. People don’t think outside the box enough. Then again, sending this giant to Africa on an empty stomach might not be the best idea. He’d probably end up eating them all like they were chocolate Peeps and contacting some sort of superAIDS that, when mixed with a blood like Jello, becomes deadly and explosive. Anyway this is why I’m not allowed around fat people or Africans, I guess.

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