Fireworks

VIDEO: 320,000 fireworks at one funeral? Yes, please

Posted by Will Brinson under , , , , , ,

320,000 firework funeral

I often wonder what my funeral will be like. Yes, that sounds morbid, but I wholly anticipate a big screen with “The Last Waltz” on repeat and gallons of Knob Creek being passed around, so hopefully it won’t be all that bad. Another option would be people piling up 320,000 fireworks and lighting them all ... Read more

VIDEO: The Fireworks Machine Gun looks like a fun investment

Posted by Shawn Norris under , ,

fireworks machine gun

Finally, somebody combines the awesomeness of fireworks with the rapid-fire capabilities of a machine gun. Read more

4th of July advice: Don’t blow your arm off with fireworks

Posted by A. Isaac under , ,

fireworks fail

If there’s one piece of advice the Guyism staff can pass on to our loyal readers today, it’s this: If somebody asks you to hold a firework in your hand while they light it, please decline. Also, if you’re not an explosives expert, stay away from mortars. Read more

Yet another reason why fireworks are illegal in most states

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , ,

Apparently in Minnesota you can buy fireworks in a Target. While this might appeal to your American instinct to blow things up and stare at pretty colors, it might be less cool than it sounds. At least if this one brand of fireworks delivers on what its name promises. Read more

What I will be doing the next 4th of July…

Posted by Douglas Charles under , , , ,

Next year rather than just shooting fireworks at my elderly neighbors like I did this year I think I will rig up one of these R/C planes the way these guys did and just dive bomb them with a wide and spectacular array of bottle rockets… Read more

Fireworks safety is important

Posted by Chris Spags under , , ,

I guess technically this isn’t irony, but there’s something very fitting about a reporter doing a story on fireworks safety and accidentally shooting her cameraman in the face. I’m kind of surprised there isn’t more innovation in the field of fireworks though. I mean it’s pretty much been the same fundamental “Shoot colorful crap in ... Read more

SLANDER THE ETHNICS MONDAY: Greek people are dumb

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , ,

Okay so this probably won’t be a recurring feature, but dare to dream. Check out this video of how some Greeks celebrate Easter. Spoiler: They’re idiots. Not pictured in the celebration: The winner gets sodomy. I’m not going to lie, that’s like all I know about Greece…gyros, sodomy, and men wrestling in the nude. But ... Read more

Bottle rocket nut shot

Posted by Douglas Charles under , , , ,

As the person who posted this says, “When your bottle rocket doesnt go off as planned make sure when you inspect it you point the exploding part away from your nuts.” Excellent advice, indeed. Read more

FIREWORKS!

Posted by Douglas Charles under ,

What’s the 4th of July without a little fireworks? Happy Birthday, America. Read more