Via Channelate comes this graphic illustration of what seems to be the perfect crime.

You know what probably happened? The two swordfish were probably hanging out, talking and whatever. They had a little too much fishbeer and got a little too fishdrunk, started ]]>

Via Channelate comes this graphic illustration of what seems to be the perfect crime.

You know what probably happened? The two swordfish were probably hanging out, talking and whatever. They had a little too much fishbeer and got a little too fishdrunk, started horsing around. Then there was an uncomfortable moment where they crossed swords and they both kind of liked it, but didn’t talk about it after then. The awkwardness was too much for Swordfish 1 to bear. So he plotted this moment, intricately, for days, weeks even. It might have been easier to just tell Swordfish 2 how he really felt for him. But that was a courage Swordfish 1 never had.

Yeah I can pretty much turn anything gay.

As a whole I think fish are pretty gay and worthless. Who swims in their own feces and urine other than hobo mermaids living in the East River? But this fish, Comet, is the most amazing fish I’ve ever seen.

I don’t know that buying that ]]>

As a whole I think fish are pretty gay and worthless. Who swims in their own feces and urine other than hobo mermaids living in the East River? But this fish, Comet, is the most amazing fish I’ve ever seen.

I don’t know that buying that training kit would make any fish able to do this stuff, but wow. It looked like the video was sped up a bit, though I guess that could also be the tremendous amount of fish doping that goes on in the underground competitive world of Fish Basketball/Soccer/Swimming Through Pipe Shit. The stakes are high, losers find their dreams and lifeless bodies flushed down the drain, tragic really. I’m pretty sure Nemo got his fin cracked by an Italian fish wielding an adorable little baseball bat in a similar situation in the deleted scenes of Finding Nemo. Probably by a little Italian fish with a mustache voiced by Chazz Palminteri.