Guyism » France

Disgruntled girlfriends of ‘Diablo 3′ players in France offered a free vibrator

Matt Hawkins — Tue, 22 May 2012 19:00:31 +0000

It’s somewhat doubtful that a French woman who is annoyed with her boyfriend’s newfound obsession with Diablo 3 might be reading this. But just in case, if you are indeed such a person, you are eligible for a free sex toy.

The offer comes from Absoloo, a French sex toy maker, who is all to eager to perpetuate the oh so funny stereotype that women are cast to the side when their a brand new video game nabs the attention of their significant others.

But hey, this is the nation that embraced Jerry Lewis as a comedic genius, so color me less than surprised. Anyhow, and as The Escapist explains, women who are legit interested in the free vibrator must post a pic of themselves with the game on their Facebook page.

I’ve looked high and low and I can’t seem to find any examples, unless Facebook in France somehow works differently.

The French are employing desperate measures to get ahold of ‘Modern Warfare 3′

Matt Hawkins — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:45:16 +0000

6,000 copies were jacked in a high stakes robbery on Saturday, using a tactic that’s actually employed in game, i.e. the use of tear gas.

ComputerAndVideoGames reports that two masked men used tear gas to neutralize a truck driver whose haul was nothing but copies of the game (which again was an estimated 6,000 copies), before kicking him to the curb and driving off. The estimated value is 400,000 Euros, which is about $551,115, according to Google.

Meanwhile, while reporting about the same incident, Destructoid also reports of a second theft, also in France, involved three masked men and some kind of weaponry. The value in this case was more, around 780,000 Euros, which is over a one million US.

Yikes. All that plus the game being leaked by an employee, as well as K-Mart breaking street date. All for of a game that comes out tomorrow. People have no patience these days, it would seem.

French baby survives eight-floor fall out of window

Chris Spags — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 18:06:51 +0000

All those worries about baby proofing are apparently for nothing since if you child is anything like this French infant, he or she is more than equipped to survive a fall out of an eighth-floor window.

French police say an 18-month-old boy survived the fall by bouncing off an awning and into a nearby man’s arms.

Police are holding the parents for questioning after some suspect parenting on their parts; the 18-month-old had been left alone with his three-year-old sister while the parents were out on a stroll.

The police say that the baby had access to an open window, where he accidentally fell out.

I have several thoughts here:

-Good for this baby for proving that, yes, infants are indestructible. In your face, Planned Parenthood.
-How negligent of a parent do you have to be to go for a leisurely walk, leaving behind your infant and toddler child all alone? And then, to top it all off, an open window? What, was there no arsenic conveniently labeled as “Delicious Candy” lying around?
-The dude who caught the baby better be getting laid like a thousand times right now. I don’t care if it’s dumb luck, if you catch a baby who just fell eight floors out of a window, if you’re not getting your genitals covered in other genitals, there’s something wrong with society.

Baby Falls 8 Floors, Bounces Into Stranger’s Arms [Click Orlando]

French women use a boob flash to rob man

Chris Spags — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 21:00:41 +0000

How can you go wrong with a news story that involves both a creative robbery and a woman flashing her breasts? Answer: You can’t. Unless you’re the French guy who lost 300 euros after being flashed by a female robber.

According to reports, the story begins with a man taking a withdrawal from an ATM. Two young women then approached him and asked for money.

One of the women waved a newspaper at the man, attempting to distract him. The distraction failed.

So, the ladies took the next logical step…one of the girls showed the man her breasts and stroked his dong while the other one used the man’s open account on the ATM to withdraw 300 euros.

Police were unable to track down the two criminals.

No pictures have been made available either, making me unsure as to whether this is a suitably sexy crime or the worst thing to ever happen to modern society. Ever. I mean not to undermine other tragic historic events but, as a person, there is nothing more horrific in a day-to-day-life-kind-of-way than having a couple of slobs ask me for money, then violently grope me and flash me all while costing me several hundred dollars.

Conversely, if they were both hot, it’s no worse than a strip club. At least the guy didn’t leave with glitter all over his ATM card.

French robber steals cash by baring breasts [CNN]

The ultimate guide to the sexy fans of the World Cup nations

A. Isaac — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:48:13 +0000

The World Cup is more than just a celebration of international soccer. It’s a celebration of scantily clad hot women draped in the flags of their respective countries. So to prepare you for endless round the clock soccer action in South Africa, here’s a look at some of the sexiest fans of every single World Cup nation.

From Algeria and Argentina to Uruguay and the United States.

Algeria

Argentina

Australia

Brazil

Cameroon

Chile

Denmark

England

France

Germany

Ghana

Greece

Honduras

Italy

Ivory Coast

Japan

Don’t miss page 2!!

The G8 Summit is all about the poontang

Chris Spags — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:24:45 +0000

If there’s one universal truth, it’s this: If you’re an attractive woman, no matter how far you rise, you’re always going to be fundamentally “fable” or “unfable” to the men you work with. For example, check out the eyes on European leaders Nicolas Sarkozy, of France, and Silvio Berlusconi, of Italy, juxtaposed with the ass-loving antics of President Barack Obama.

It’s a bit scuzzy to see world leaders acting like that, but at the same time it definitely humanizes them. Like what if the G8 Summit is all just one big elaborate scheme to get some time for the boys, maybe hit the strip clubs, get hammered and stoned, hit up the IHOP, scam on some bitches. Berlusconi gets all coked up and fs all the waitresses, Obama insists on watching Half-Baked but no one else goes along with it but he keeps insisting that they’re “missing the best part,” Sarkozy cries about how Carla Bruni yelled at him the other night, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper ends up tied to a flagpole after being sodomized and dressed like a clown. Just some good ol’ fashioned harmless fun (for everyone except Canada, because seriously Harper, you’re such a buzzkill).

[via]

French road rage is intense

Chris Spags — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:56:03 +0000

Exhibit 1734646 as to why women shouldn’t be allowed into cars: This French lady’s reaction to the traffic situation.

So my question is…she looks healthy, no problems walking at all. So did she have the crutch lying around? Or did she steal it from a crippled person in her car? Either way, this woman has issues that need to be addressed. Though if she were to beat a car she was angry at with her crippled friend as the weapon, I think that’s creativity you’d have to respect. Plus what were those legs good for anyway? Just a pristine shoe there, dangling off of a useless limp noodle. Take one for the team, Crippy.

U.S. COMEBACK AGAINST FRANCE

A. Isaac — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:11:00 +0000

Listen, I’m not a Olympics slappy. I won’t pretend to know the ins and outs of swimming or sculls or how the scoring works in the gymnastics events.

What I do know though is that France sucks.

They suck as a nation and they suck as a people. In fact, I’ve only met one French person in my entire life that I deem normal and perhaps even an acceptable member of society

The rest of them tuck their tails between their legs, don’t shave their armpits, and speak with a stupid accent.

How’s that for stereotypes….

I think I speak for everybody when I say,

“FREEDOM FRIES”

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