You might think wheelbarrow races are stupid. Perhaps at a backyard BBQ you’d rank them pretty low on your “list of games you could get me to play right now.” Fair enough. Not everyone’s cup of tea. But in a world where we’re giving out medals to the kids who come in dead last and amending rules to make sure everyone gets fair and equal playing time, something’s gotta be said for the athletes who still live and die by the mantra “go big or go home.” The ones who show up to your neighborhood game of badminton with their own freshly laced rackets and their sister’s knee pads, ready to take names.

These kids treated this thing like it was the be-all end-all of their athletic careers. They practiced that move, made sure they had their timing right, and walked out onto that court knowing they were about to make that race their bitch. Sure, that one kid practically motorboated the other’s crotch… but winning will always trump perceived homo-eroticism, and these kids worked that angle like a boss.

London news outlets got a hold of this footage of a man (dare I say, an Ironman?) partaking in the sport on the M1 Monday morning.

Just curious as to what we’re classifying as “extreme,” here. This guy is on a closed-off section of the highway. I mean, I’ve had to iron a shirt on the roof of my Civic in the lot behind a job interview after an epic walk of shame… do I qualify? A lot more risk involved there, especially considering I didn’t have the luxury of a cordless iron. It took a lot not to reference that 10 minutes later when they asked if I possessed problem-solving skills.

At least I know if this blogging thing doesn’t work out I’ve got a prolific career in linen-athletics waiting on the back burner. And when that day comes, I’d like to challenge this man to a press-off. Mostly because it’d be nice to start my season off with a win. I see your deserted highway, sir, and raise you one Mount Rushmore.

Only thing left to say here is if you’re planning on making a video that may go viral, take the extra 30 seconds to throw on some pants. Otherwise, you might have a tough time cashing in your fame card with the ladies. Nothing says “40-year-old virgin” like documented evidence that you spend your days kickin’ it with your dancing dog in undergarments of questionable length.

I don’t know who to attribute this hilarious photoshop to….nonetheless, quality work whomever you are.

Call me crazy but I get the feeling that this one is going 7.

I have no idea who the Las Vegas Cobras are or what kind of league they play in.  After watching this clip, I question if this is even football.

And if this doesn’t have Waterboy sequel written all over it, I’m not sure what does.  I fully expected to see Bobby Boucher come running out screaming “H20″.

By the way, you know the Lions want to sign this guy.  I give him credit, at least he can make a tackle.

An oldie from the site but truly, a classic.

And actually, I let out a fart at work yesterday and a co-worker heard it.

Instead of being ashamed and hanging my head in disgust, I smiled and said, “Hell yea, it was me…gotta problem with it”

Be proud of your farts I say, be damn proud…

“I hope the Lions never get into situation with a first round pick and the guy decides to pull a Crabtree”

I didn’t know “Pulling a Crabtree” had become mainstream lingo. However, I have to say, I give him a lot of credit. He may have started a new fad.

And although “Pulling a Crabtree” is bad, there are worse things you could do….Especially in the NFL.

Pulling a Eugene Robinson

Come on, do I have to refresh your memory. If in the strange case you find yourself propositioned by a prostitute the night before a Super Bowl…Turn it down. Please

Pulling a DeSean Jackson

Not to be confused with “The Plaxico” which could mean spiking the ball when you’re not down or shooting yourself in the leg at a club

Pulling a Leon Lett

If you’re a pot smokin overweight defensive linemen and you find yourself running for a rare TD in the Super Bowl. Do yourself a favor and don’t celebrate 15 yard early.

Pulling a Joe Namath

You’d think this would mean guaranteeing a victory against all odds, but ‘ol Joe changed all that when he tried desperately to look like the drunk uncle with Suzy Kolber.

Pulling a Jim Mora

Don’t turn yourself into the greatest YouTube rant of our generation.

Pulling a Jim Marshall

No, not turning yourself into a wooden figurine but rather running the ball in the wrong direction and scoring a safety for the other team (Hilarious video)

Pulling a Brett Favre

Don’t retire, un-retire, cry at a press conference and then re-un-retire and then go to your team’s rival in the same division.

I used to think kids cried for no reason. Yea sure, some of them cried because they were hungry…others because they soiled themselves….and still others needed to be burped.

But mostly, it was for none of these reasons whatsoever. They just cried to cry.

So I give this baby a ton of credit. He has learned early on that UM sucks and their stupid fight song makes people angry.

I suspect this kid is probably MENSA material. Its only a matter of years now before he’s punching little Wolverine fans on the school bus.

Well done young lad.

This goes along with the whole, “Athletes just aren’t that smart”….Mark Sheldon of MLB.com grabs this quote from Brandon Phillips…

“My wrist is not broken. I didn’t mean to say broken,” Phillips said. “I know I didn’t say ‘broken.’ I said ‘fracture.’ I didn’t know ‘fracture’ and ‘broken’ meant the same thing. My wrist feels like it’s fractured. Yeah. That right there.

“The last time I took an X-ray, it said there’s nothing broke. Broken and fractured are the same thing. It feels like it’s broken, fractured, or broken — it’s the same thing. But my wrist really does bother me.”

For what its worth Brandon, one time I passed gas at work. Then a co-worker asked, “Hey, who farted”. And I said, “not me…I just pass gas.”

They’re obviously not the same thing.

After watching Rich Rodriguez’ rather lame attempt at garnering sympathy yesterday, it was only a matter of time before someone put a list or criers in sports together.

As for the clip above, in my opinion, its one of the greatest acting moments in Tom Hanks’ career. My favorite line : “Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.”

I truly hope to somehow incorporate that sentence sometime this week. Particularly with someone at work…Or to that stupid chick who cut me off yesterday and then had the audacity to give me the bird.

Yea, I’ll make you cry…

This doesn’t really speak well to the education of NFL players. True, schism might be a bit of an odd word. But really, considering the amount of skanky broads NFLers seem to hang around with, you’d think they’d know a thing or two about STDs.

By the way Jared, here’s a full list…You know, just so you’re informed. How argute of me (see, now that’s an odd word)

1. AIDS
2. Syphilis
3. Gonorrhea
4. Chancroid
5. Genital Warts
6. Herpes Simplex
7. Chlamydia
8. Trichomoniasis
9. Hepatitis
10. Pubic Lice
11. Scabies

From our friends over at HHR comes this clip of Phillies broadcaster Gary “Sarge” Matthews, discussing a rather strange phenomenon in baseball that I wasn’t aware of.

I heard the Sarge will also be teaching 5th grade Sex Ed next week…

4. Him and Jason Kidd are a little closer than we thought

3. Menage a Trois

2. He’s stil in shock that he was once picked for Team USA

1. He’s re-creating that skit from In Living Color

This picture apparently has been floating around the web for a few months and although we can’t verify the authenticity or the whereabouts of its occurrence, its still good for internet fodder.

We can however tell you that both Alex Ovechkin and Andrei Markov look like choads when they get drunk…

H/t: Huge props to WOI reader Maddog for the email

I don’t know Roger personally, nor have I ever even heard of him before but I can take a wild guess that this isn’t the first time those words have come from his mouth….

(Please notice the play on words here….I tried real hard on that one)

And after he left, the city council has now taken over his job of performing circus acts around the city.

Nothing personified this more than the city council meeting last night where insults and accusations of racism filled the room.

Of course, Monica Conyers, the ringleader, was front and center. But then, and I swear to you this actually happened, councilwoman Barbar Rose-Collins broke into song.

In the middle of the goddamn meeting, this beeyotch just started singing “Onward Christian Soldiers”

Quite comical actually.

And we all know when TO has time on his hands, he’s likely to end up attracting some media attention.

So we’ve offered up some prop bets of sorts, not necessarily football betting per se but some typical Owen’s BS

Over/under…

The number of times Drew Rosenhaus says “Next Question” during a TO press conference: 4.5

Sit-ups TO does in his next “driveway interview”: 24.5

Over/Under, Crying during the 2009 NFL Season: 1.5

Over/under, Times he conveniently shows up on a porn site: 2.5

and finally

Over/under, bad acting appearances for MNF: 0.5

If you haven’t seen this already, you really need to. These two guys from College Humor have been pulling pranks on each other for years.

This one is outrageous and took a lot of cooperation from a lot of people.

I really wish I had the time and energy to do this kind of stuff. The best prank I’ve seen personally is when a friend made a facebook page for another friend and put up some gay pictures.

See, not as funny or as original as the one in the video.