It’s almost Oscars time once again. Seems like we just had an awards show or three, but it is. Sunday night at 7ET/4PT on ABC we get to see Billy Crystal host the 84th Annual Academy Awards. This is your preview.

The highlight of ]]>

It’s almost Oscars time once again. Seems like we just had an awards show or three, but it is. Sunday night at 7ET/4PT on ABC we get to see Billy Crystal host the 84th Annual Academy Awards. This is your preview.

The highlight of the show tomorrow might have nothing to do with any of the nominees though as we’ll now get to see Sacha Baron Cohen in character as “The Dictator” General Aladeen after the Academy initially told him he couldn’t attend. Below was his response to initially being told no…

The nominees in the five main categories…

Best Picture: The Artist, The Descendants, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Moneyball, The Tree of Life, War Horse

Actor in a Leading Role: Demián Bichir, George Clooney, Jean Dujardin, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt

Actress in a Leading Role: Glenn Close, Viola Davis, Rooney Mara, Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams

Actor in a Supporting Role: Kenneth Branagh, Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Christopher Plummer, Max Von Sydow

Actress in a Supporting Role: Bérénice Bejo, Jessica Chastain, Melissa McCarthy, Janet McTeer, Octavia Spencer

Directing: Michel Hazanavicius, Alexander Payne, Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, Terrence Malick

If you’re interested in having a little contest with your friends trying to pick every winner here’s a printable ballot with every single award to be given out.

To get the official iPhone/iPad app with live backstage streams and an interactive ballot, go here.

For even more, visit the Oscars official site.

And now here’s a little preview of what the ladies in attendance will be wearing as we look back at the best dresses of the past two shows (in order below): Charlize Theron, Demi Moore, Faith Hill, Kathy Ireland, Kristen Stewart, Mariah Carey, Penelope Cruz, Rachel McAdams, Samantha Harris, Stana Katic, Amy Adams, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lawrence, Mallika Sherawat, Maria Menounos, Michelle Williams, Mila Kunis, Reese Witherspoon, Sandra Bullock, and Scarlett Johansson.

34 percent of women polled by Fitness magazine said they wished could have the body of Jennifer Aniston over any other female celebrity. No, really.

They only listed five names in their poll so in that case we might understand how this could happen, but Halle Berry was ]]>

I know, I don't get it either...

They only listed five names in their poll so in that case we might understand how this could happen, but Halle Berry was one of the names listed, so actually, yeah, it really doesn’t make any sense after all. Halle came in second with 28%, followed by Beyonce at 17%, Kim Kardashian at 15%, and Blake Lively at 6%. Why these were the five women given as choices, I have no idea.

Fitness also asked who the sexiest female celebrity over the age of 40 was and Jennifer won that as well, further proving that the readers of the magazine haven’t watched TV or seen a movie in the last five years. Jen came in with 25%, Halle – 24%, Jennifer Lopez – 22%, Demi Moore – 19%, Gwen Stefani – 6%, and Courteney Cox with 4%.

Here’s another scatological poll result I’ll just share with you in it’s entirety:

We asked, “If you could have one celeb’s body part, what would it be?”
Survey says:
Jennifer Aniston’s abs…65%
Cameron Diaz’s arms…12%
Blake Lively’s legs…11%
Pippa Middleton’s butt…7%
Christina Hendricks’ chest…5%

First off, 12% of the women who voted in this poll want Cameron Diaz’s arms. Really? These arms? Remind me to run from any date’s house if I see a copy of Fitness magazine lying around.

Next, I will address the “over 40″ poll by mentioning a few names: Diane Lane, Elle Macpherson, Liz Hurley, Lori Loughlin (not really relevant anymore, I know, but still), Monica Bellucci, and Salma Hayek.

And finally, with regard to the female celebrity’s body they’d want most overall, I refer you to this. I rest my case.

The Best Celebrity Bodies of 2011 [Fitness]

Halle Berry turned 45 this past weekend and as all 45 year-olds do she went to the beach to show off her ridiculously smoking hot body. Good lord… You know, I almost added Halle to this year’s Most Underrated list because I don’t think she gets ]]>

Sweet jeebus, would you look at the proportions on this woman...

Halle Berry turned 45 this past weekend and as all 45 year-olds do she went to the beach to show off her ridiculously smoking hot body. Good lord… You know, I almost added Halle to this year’s Most Underrated list because I don’t think she gets the love she deserves. Sure, she’s super famous and all, but take another look at these photos and tell me she shouldn’t be getting more attention. The woman is 45 people! Damn…

Halle Berry took some quality time off from doing whatever it is she’s doing these days and hit the beach in Malibu wearing a bikini that women her age almost are never able to wear, because, well, they’re her age. I don’t know what magic elixir Halle is ]]>

Halle looks so happy... she should, she's hot...

Halle Berry took some quality time off from doing whatever it is she’s doing these days and hit the beach in Malibu wearing a bikini that women her age almost are never able to wear, because, well, they’re her age. I don’t know what magic elixir Halle is drinking but whatever it is it’s working very well. Maybe Demi Moore shared some of her secret youth-preserving secrets with Halle on how to remain a hottie well into your 40′s. Now if we could just do something about that wrap she’s wearing over her bikini…

By now you’ve probably heard that The King’s Speech won the Oscar for Best Picture, and Natalie Portman and Colin Firth won the Academy Awards for Best Actress and Actor, but just in case you didn’t watch (lucky you) or get a good enough look at the all ]]>

Scarlett Johansson won the award for looking like she just had a quickie in the limo...

By now you’ve probably heard that The King’s Speech won the Oscar for Best Picture, and Natalie Portman and Colin Firth won the Academy Awards for Best Actress and Actor, but just in case you didn’t watch (lucky you) or get a good enough look at the all the sexy women that were in attendance (the truly important stuff from last night), now is your chance. Some of the ladies that were in attendance looking as beautiful as ever were (in order below): Jennifer Lawrence, Mila Kunis, Mandy Moore, Michelle Williams, Virginia Madsen, Maria Menounos, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams, Penelope Cruz, Reese Witherspoon (feeding all of my I Dream of Jeanie fantasies), Natalie Portman, Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry (awesome as usual), Nicole Kidman, Anne Hathaway, Marisa Tomei, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mallika Sherawat, Erin Andrews (wait, what?), James Franco, and Zzzzzzzzzzzz…

Halle Berry may be having a little trouble her ex (what with him saying their daughter isn’t black and accusing Halle of doing “adult” things in front of her), but it hasn’t done a thing to lower the amount if sexiness she exudes as ]]>

Sexiest mom on the planet?

Halle Berry may be having a little trouble her ex (what with him saying their daughter isn’t black and accusing Halle of doing “adult” things in front of her), but it hasn’t done a thing to lower the amount if sexiness she exudes as evidenced by the latest issue of Ebony magazine. I wonder what he meant by “adult activities” when he made those accusations? Doing laundry? Vacuuming? Paying bills? The mind wonders…

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Miley Cyrus was named the worst celebrity influence in America. In other Miley news, she also got another tattoo. Wouldn’t want to lose that ranking in 2012.

— In news that should shock ]]>

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Miley Cyrus was named the worst celebrity influence in America. In other Miley news, she also got another tattoo. Wouldn’t want to lose that ranking in 2012.

— In news that should shock literally no one, it appears there may be a Charlie Sheen sex tape. Frankly, I’d be more shocked if there was just one.

— Charlie also may or may not have any of his own teeth left in his head. Eh, but he looks good without teeth. Happy even.

— Oh yeah, he also uses porn stars as babysitters. Pretty much like every good, normal dad does.

— Lindsay Lohan stole a $2,500 necklace. I mean borrowed.

— Kim Kardashian actually cried over the nude body paint photos that appeared recently in W magazine. Apparently she didn’t understand what was going on when she stripped naked and someone applied paint to her entire body then had her pose for the photographs. Idiot.

— Jennifer Lopez is already being a diva (read: bitch) on the set of American Idol.

— Jordan Bratman still won’t move out of his house with Christina Aguilera. Can you blame him? I’d chain myself to something in that house if I was him because he ain’t never gonna do any better than that.

— Jeff Goldblum is an evil wizard.

— Cyndi Lauper is looking hot, hot, hot.

— Heather Graham is a very stable, well-adjusted person.

— Justin Timberlake may have had sex with Mila Kunis. Then again, I don’t believe he ever had sex with Jessica Biel, so take that news for what it’s worth.

— Halle Berry apparently has a bit of a Mel Gibson streak in her according to her ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry.

— And finally, Slash’s wife Perla Ferrar kicked a woman in the stomach while backstage at a concert. Ah, the joys of marriage…

This week’s sexy video comes to us from the fine folks at VIP magazine and features lesser-known, but completely hot Brazilian bikini model Ellen Rocche. As you will see, she really should be more famous.

As you know by now awards season began last night for Hollywood with the latest edition of the Golden Globes taking place. Some people won, many more people lost, but the one thing that never changes is that there were lots of sexy celebrity women all dressed up ]]>

Oh, so thaaat's why they lost...

As you know by now awards season began last night for Hollywood with the latest edition of the Golden Globes taking place. Some people won, many more people lost, but the one thing that never changes is that there were lots of sexy celebrity women all dressed up looking their best. Here’s just a few of them (in order below)… Carrie Underwood, January Jones, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Julianne Hough, Kaley Cuoco, Lea Michele, Natalie Portman, Olivia Wilde, Christina Aguilera, Angelina Jolie, Julia Stiles, Piper Perabo, Jennifer Lopez, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams, Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks, Halle Berry, and Mila Kunis. Oh my. [Side notes from last night (neither pictured below): Michelle Pfeiffer - still alive, Milla Jovovich - gi-GAN-tic head. That is all.]

Even more pics from the Golden Globes here.

Halle Berry has been flying way too much under the radar lately so it was nice to see her at some event called the Power 100 Women in Entertainment Breakfast the other day. And it being a breakfast Halle naturally decided to show up displaying her juicy melons. ]]>

Someone should have made that microphone about six inches shorter...

Halle Berry has been flying way too much under the radar lately so it was nice to see her at some event called the Power 100 Women in Entertainment Breakfast the other day. And it being a breakfast Halle naturally decided to show up displaying her juicy melons. Ba-dum-bum! I’ll be here all week, folks. (I know that doesn’t even really make a whole lot of sense. Gimme a break, it’s Friday, people.) Just know this, if you want to see what perfection looks like you really need to click on the first few photos below. Trust me, it’ll be WELL worth your time.

Halle Berry was at some event the other day and wore a great dress that reminded just how hot she is. Ah, here we go, it was Swarovski Elements’ 22 Ways To Say Black event. Yeah, no clue what that is. Annnd that’s pretty much the end of this ]]>

Halle Berry was at some event the other day and wore a great dress that reminded just how hot she is. Ah, here we go, it was Swarovski Elements’ 22 Ways To Say Black event. Yeah, no clue what that is. Annnd that’s pretty much the end of this report. Feel free to add to it by commenting below. HA! Like anyone comments on or reads anything I write on this site. Oh man, I crack myself up.

Halle Berry is apparently in a movie called Dark Tide in which she runs around in a bikini top. In other words, this is going to be a movie to put in your Netflix queue. Halle was voted the sexiest woman in the world in 2008 by ]]>

Halle Berry is apparently in a movie called Dark Tide in which she runs around in a bikini top. In other words, this is going to be a movie to put in your Netflix queue. Halle was voted the sexiest woman in the world in 2008 by Esquire and since then I haven’t really had a good reason to post photos of her. It’s nice to see that she still has the ability to drop jaws the way she used to. The women just never ages, I swear.

Kim Kardashian says she regrets doing Playboy now. “I’m sorry I did Playboy. I was uncomfortable,” Kim tells Harper’s Bazaar in a new interview where she is pretty much naked. She blames her mom for pushing ]]>

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

Kim Kardashian says she regrets doing Playboy now. “I’m sorry I did Playboy. I was uncomfortable,” Kim tells Harper’s Bazaar in a new interview where she is pretty much naked. She blames her mom for pushing her into it. I can see that. I mean, once the whole world has seen your daughter getting jackhammered by Ray J, what’s the point in being a good mom anymore?

Depending on your tastes this is either very good news or horrific news. I fall on the side of the latter. Chelsea Handler has a sex tape. She says it was meant as a joke. That’s right. A joke. I’m not laughing.

Jason Pfeiffer, a former dermatologist’s assistant and current CEO of a medical company, went public claiming he was Michael Jackson’s boyfriend right up until Jackson’s death. Yeah, and I was dating Lindsay Lohan when she died. What do you mean she isn’t dead yet? Give it time.

Paris Hilton is being sued for $1 million. The investors for the the movie Pledge This! say she didn’t plug the film enough and they want up to $1 million back from her. Investors who put Paris Hilton in a movie are now shocked that a) it bombed and b) Paris didn’t do as asked. Someone please put me in touch with these people as I have some great projects for which I need some funding.

In other skank news, Courtney Love says she had sex with Gwen Stefani’s husband Gavin Rossdale (that’s what I am calling him now since I don’t know if he does music anymore). Oh yeah, she says she did while he was with Gwen. She also claims Gwen knew. Now if you can’t believe Courtney Love, who can you believe?

Brad Pitt thinks Jennifer Aniston is pathetic. Apparently Brad was mad when Jennifer appeared on the March cover of Architectural Digest. “Brad feels this is all so desperate,” says an insider. “It was a ploy to get his attention.” Apparently Brad doesn’t have enough to do these days.

And speaking of smoking hot babes who can’t keep a man, Halle Berry is single again. According to an insider, it was Gabriel who did the breaking up and their 9-year age difference was partially to blame. In other news, WHAT?!!!?!?!!?

Heidi Montag might be addicted to painkillers. According to a medical source, doctors would have prescribed painkillers such as Demerol, Vicodin and Percocet to Heidi after she had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day in November. Is Bodog or BetUS or anyone taking odds on when Heidi does her first strip club gig? Because I want in on that action.

Of course, we can’t have a week without some Lindsay Lohan news, can we? If the latest rants by Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan, on Twitter are to be believed LiLo has the HIV. The tweets were removed and Michael denies posting them. He blames Perez Hilton. Naturally.

Oh yeah, Lindsay also managed to get kicked off a film and banned from the club Trousdale within 12 hours of each other. So it’s been a good week for her?

And she’s also probably going to jail. There’s that too.

Whitney Houston’s world tour is going well. Hundreds of people walked out in disgust at her Docklands O2 Arena concert this week. She did manage to stay onstage for the majority of the two-hour show so give her points for that.

And remember how Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz had a little “dispute” the other day? Apparently it was some kind of misunderstanding. At least if you listen to the two of them now. “She is doing nothing,” Jameson’s attorney Ronald Richards told E! News , saying that despite her caught-on-camera vow to press charges, she never had any intention to do so. I’m actually speechless.

1966 – 1967… The NHL awards Pittsburgh a second NHL franchise, the Penguins. Caesars Palace hotel and casino opens in Las Vegas. The Green Bay Packers defeat the Kansas City Chiefs 35–10 in Super Bowl I. The American Basketball Association is formed. And this sexy set of ladies was ]]>

1966 – 1967… The NHL awards Pittsburgh a second NHL franchise, the Penguins. Caesars Palace hotel and casino opens in Las Vegas. The Green Bay Packers defeat the Kansas City Chiefs 35–10 in Super Bowl I. The American Basketball Association is formed. And this sexy set of ladies was born…

Over the span of several weeks we will be taking a look at the sexiest women born between the years 1962 and 1991, culminating with you deciding which of these over 300 women is our 2010 Sexiest Woman of the Year. Each birth year offers something special with beautiful women representing countries around the globe. These lists feature actresses, models, singers, athletes… Trust me, no one is left out.

(Click the pics to see more of each lady.)

Be sure to vote at the end of this post for who you think is the sexiest of this group!

- – - – - – - – 1967 – - – - – - – -

Tia Carrere (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Kate Walsh (American actress)

Nicole Kidman (Australian actress) – – – – – – – – – Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (Italian model)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – 1966

Faith Hill (American singer) – – – – – – – – – Cindy Crawford (American model)

Halle Berry (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Eva LaRue (American actress)

Salma Hayek (Mexican actress) – – – – – – – – – Julianna Margulies (American actress)

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE FOR THE LADIES OF OTHER YEARS!

Since it seems that Tiger Woods is well on his way to making this list with his complete failures at the basic tenets of cheating (voicemails: never a good idea), we at Guyism would like to offer him some reassurance. You’re not alone, Tiger. In fact, it’s been much ]]>

Since it seems that Tiger Woods is well on his way to making this list with his complete failures at the basic tenets of cheating (voicemails: never a good idea), we at Guyism would like to offer him some reassurance. You’re not alone, Tiger. In fact, it’s been much worse. Here are the 8 most dysfunctional athlete relationships ever.

Dennis Rodman & Carmen Electra

Even though their drunkenly fueled wedding was invalidated after 10 days, this couple had one of the crazier 6 month flings ever. They were once arrested in Miami for a domestic spat after Rodman allegedly saw one of Electra’s ex’s on tv and commented harshly. This led to WWIII in their hotel room and causing security to show up. Later when Rodman was sleeping, Electra tried to stick an uncooked penne pasta shell up Rodman’s, uh, behind. Yeah, that actually happened. As recently as 2006, Rodman says that Electra called and said she still loved him.

I’d love you too if you fed me pasta, Carmen. As long as it’s in the correct orifice. Or if it’s angel hair.

David Justice & Halle Berry

How bad did it get between these two? Berry told Parade Magazine a few years back that she almost killed herself over Justice. Years after their divorce, Justice tried to seek alimony from Berry even though at the time he was making over 6 million a year.

Not only was he an average player but it seems he was a pretty average husband too.

Andre Rison & Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes

Their on again, off again relationship was highlighted by Lopes burning down Rison’s house in 1994. It didn’t help that Rison had multiple transgressions and Lopes repeatedly had stints in rehab. But that didn’t stop the two dating for almost 10 years.

Rison’s fetish for colorful pirates was never confirmed.

John Daly & Sherrie Daly

Did he hit her or did she hit him? In front of a crowded restaurant in June 2007, they verbally assaulted each other but later on that night is when things really heated up. Daly claimed that Sherrie pulled a steak knife out and tried to stab him. He showed up at a tournament a few days later with cuts and scrapes on his face (Apparently, it wasn’t from poor driving like Mr. Woods wink wink).

Sherrie later pleaded guilty to federal drug charges and served 5 months in jail. Being that this was his 4th wife, we’re going to go out on a limb and say Daly’s fitness to make these kinds of decisions was about as strong as his fitness to do, well, pretty much anything physical not involving the words “pie” and “contest.”

Anna Benson & Kris Benson

Even though this couple is still together, they’re not without their fair share of controversy. Not only has Anna filed for divorced and retracted but she once issued this infamous quote about her husband to Howard Stern:

“I told him [Kris] — because that’s the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I’m going to screw everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team.”

“Mike Piazza just did a back flip,” Stern said. “Even the coaches? What about, like, the bat boys?”

“I’m lining them up,” Anna said, “I’ll (also) circle into other teams. Whatever team he’s playing, I will screw all them, too.”

Don’t know if she ever went through with it, but my application for bat boy is still in the works just in case.

Chuck Finley & Tawny Kitaen

Drug user…check
Suicidal…check
Spousal Abuser…check

And no, I’m not talking about Chuck Finley. His ex-wife Tawny might take the gold medal at the Crazy Beeyotch Olympics. Their relationship was filled with arrests, rehabs, and restraining orders. The couple’s nanny once issued a statement that she was often asked by her two daughters, “”Is Mommy whacked out again today?”

You stay classy Tawny. Though your contributions to 1980s hair bands will never be forgotten nor diminished.

Mike Tyson & Robin Givens

Things were pretty rocky with these two well before they showed up for their 20/20 interview in 1988. Givens had accused Tyson of violence and overall mental instability. But it came to a head on the show when she said that he was manic depressive. Tyson didn’t respond but looked visibly angry. Givens went on to say that being with Tyson was “torture, pure hell, worse than anything I could possibly imagine”. A month later they divorced but not before they got their pot shots in. Givens told everyone she had a miscarriage but Tyson denied she was even pregnant to begin with.

Considering Tyson bit a man’s ear off and told a boxer that he would “eat his children,” I’m going to go ahead and side with Givens here.

Jason Kidd & Joumana Kidd

It might be one thing for a person in a relationship to be an abuser. But both? That makes for a pretty messed up lifestyle. Joumana accused Jason of being a serial abuser and adulterer while Kidd cited extreme cruelty. Either way, Joumana once ended up with a broken rib and damaged hearing when he allegedly smashed her head into the console of their family car. As far as Jason’s list of transgressions is concerned, well, it’s quite impressive according to Joumana.

-Several different television reporters
-Strippers in Arizona, Sacramento, Miami, Dallas and Indiana
-A Nets season ticket holder
-A Nets employee
-And a cheerleader in New Orleans

A partridge in a pear tree refused to comment, but seemed to be walking away with a limp.

Now I know that the folks over at Esquire named Halle Berry as their sexiest woman in the world a while back, and while that may have been true five or ten years ago, she still has days where she ]]>

Now I know that the folks over at Esquire named Halle Berry as their sexiest woman in the world a while back, and while that may have been true five or ten years ago, she still has days where she can bring it with the best of them. Like on this particular day at the screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine in Los Angeles. One word: damn.

More Halle Berry good stuff here and here…
…and some NSFW Halle Berry stuff here.

Why do I say that Halle Berry does not age? Check out these snaps for her new perfume… Wait, what? Halle Berry has a perfume? Does it smell like her? If so, put me down for a dozen bottles.

Is there a sexier ]]>

Why do I say that Halle Berry does not age? Check out these snaps for her new perfume… Wait, what? Halle Berry has a perfume? Does it smell like her? If so, put me down for a dozen bottles.

Is there a sexier 42 year-old on the planet? No, really, is there? Because if there is I want to see her. Tell me now.

More Halle Berry goodness here and here.

So Halle Berry was at the NAACP Image Awards the other day and managed to go through three different outfits that all accentuated that wonderful set of cans she possesses.

I don’t know about the Image Awards and all since I am not ]]>

So Halle Berry was at the NAACP Image Awards the other day and managed to go through three different outfits that all accentuated that wonderful set of cans she possesses.

I don’t know about the Image Awards and all since I am not a minority of any kind, but Halle Berry topless in the movie Swordfish is one image my mind will never forget.

More Halle Berry good stuff here and here.
And some NSFW Halle Berry here…