Police said a 23-year-old Delaware woman who was allegedly driving drunk careened into a bayside canal, sinking her car, and would have drowned if a bystander hadn’t rescued her.

“He, no doubt in my mind, saved her life,” said Ocean City police spokeswoman Jessica Waters. “When you look up ‘hero’ in the dictionary, that’s what you find. Thank goodness he was there.”

He came down to the ground in an effort to help. He said he could hear Vanderhook talking to someone on a phone and that she was not able to open her passenger windows to escape. He watched as the water filled the cabin, leaving 6-10 inches of air, and sought an object large enough to break the glass. He dove three times into the water, looking for ways to get her out.

Finding nothing, he ran back toward his restaurant for help and tripped on a wooden plank, which he used to bust open the vehicle’s rear windshield, giving Vanderhook an opening to escape the sinking car.

“She said, ‘Dude, I’m gonna kill you — you broke my car.’ I said, ‘Darling, you gotta get out, or you’re going to die,’ ” Sullivan said.

Man saves driver of sinking car [Delaware Online]

Bedford punched the shark in the face and then rode a passing wave to the shore. Friends used the board’s rope as a makeshift tourniquet to stop the bleeding on Bedford’s leg.

A witness told the Sidney Morning Herald that Bedford “gave it a good whack…that doesn’t surprise me knowing Mick.” [ED. NOTE: Any time a man punches a shark in the face and a friend's reaction is, "Heh, I'm not surprised he knocked that shark out," this is not a man you'd want to trifle with.]

Bedford had surgery at a nearby hospital after the attack and his condition is stable.

For the record, there are a lot of survival guides out there that say the best way to fight off a shark attack is to punch it in the face. Mythbusters dispelled that one. Personally, I just keep a well-basted midget near me whenever I go surfing in shark-infested waters. Yes, I might be more meat and I’m probably way more delicious. But a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I’m pretty sure sharks have stupid cliches to live their lives by too.

Surfer punches shark then catches wave [Sydney Morning Herald]

Pretty touching little story of human triumph right? Less touching: If, after the video ends, the man looks around him, shoves the child into his front pocket, and tip-toes away while whistling, hoping no one noticed his incredibly good fortune.

Robinson threatened to kill her if she didn’t give up the money. He briefly put his gun down to load the money up into a bag.

It was then that the employee grabbed the gun. Robinson and the worker started to wrestle and the worker shot him in the thigh. She then held Robinson in a headlock and called police, who brought Robinson to jail.

You may be surprised by this act of courage, but that’s just how they roll at Burger King. During training sessions, sometimes the King will pop up behind a prospect and threaten to slit their throat if they don’t give up their money. If the worker acquiesces or wets themselves, they’re fired on the spot. But if they disarm the King and take him down with a Judo throw, he knows they’re ready to serve for his cause. All I’m saying is don’t be surprised when the King ends up as our dictator after a coup staged by his army of minimum wage employees. There’s a world of secrets behind the lifeless, creepy mask.

Woman working at Pine Bluff, Ark., Burger King takes gun when robber puts it down, shoots him [KFSM Arkansas]

Chentnik jumped out of bed and saw the reverse lights on [roommate Laura] Nelson’s 2003 Mitsubishi Montero. Indifferent to his lack of clothing, he ran from his house in the 2800 block of Seventh Street in Boulder, opened the passenger-side door of the moving car and took the keys out of the car. Nelson called police.

The man who had tried to drive away in the car jumped out, Chentnik said, and the two men began struggling in the street. Chentnik grabbed the man by his shirt and pulled him onto the lawn.

“I was naked, and I thought, ‘If I’m going down, I better not do it in the street,’” he said.

The man had a full wine bottle — a Louis Jadot Pinot Noir — and hit Chentnik on the head with it, he said. Chentnik then grabbed the bottle and hit the man in the face.

When police arrived five minutes later, they found Chentnik straddling the man’s chest in his front yard.

“I needed Skip [his dog] to bring me my underwear,” he said.

I wonder if the criminal didn’t break away from Chentnik’s straddling because of being trapped or if he just enjoyed the view. What an uncomfortable time to have a stirring life realization.

If I were the criminal, I’d have just started crying and said it was a lover’s quarrel. Sure, maybe the police would find out the truth, but naked dude would have been so busy explaining it all away, I could probably just whistle and sneak away. Some master criminal this guy is.

[Colorado Daily]

Two employees at the Best Buy store at FlatIron Crossing in Broomfield have been fired for the way they tried to stop a knife-wielding shoplifter who stole two cellphones at the store on Aug. 1.

“I reacted on instinct,” said 20-year-old Jared Bergstreser, who was sitting at the “asset protection desk” near the front door.

“I tackled him (outside the store), and we ended up on the cement,” said Bergstreser, who is studying to be a paramedic at Front Range Community College.

Bergstreser and employee Colin Trapp, 23, who came to his aid, were both fired Sunday.

Bergstreser said his firing was decided by corporate officials, not the local store, because he didn’t follow company policy in his pursuit of the shoplifter.

“They don’t want us to get hurt,” said Bergstreser. “I definitely went against company policy. I don’t disagree with it (the firing). I put people in danger, and I put myself in danger.”

These guys seem unbelievably cool with getting fired, which I guess is what happens when you realize, “Oh, right, it’s Best Buy.” It’s not like you got fired from being the blow job stunt double on a porn set (which may not be a real job, but I’m all about job creation in this economy).

Seriously though, I really respect humility and all that when you do something fairly brave. But if I thwarted a robbery at the hands of a guy with a knife, I would be wearing a t-shirt that reads “Ask Me About That Mugging I Stopped” on the front with “…And I’m Well-Endowed” on the back. Sure it might confuse some people who’ll think there’s a correlation between the two, as though I beat a robber to death with my swollen member, but is that really any less impressive?

[via]

A Snellville man was arrested on suspicion of abducting an Atlanta woman and driving her to Sevier County, Tenn., where the alleged victim told authorities she was raped.

Sevier County Sheriff Ron Seals said 46-year-old David Jansen abducted the 24-year-old woman while she was jogging in her Atlanta neighborhood on Tuesday.

Seals said Jansen tied the victim to the seat of a rental car and drove her across state lines to a rental cabin in a remote area.

Authorities said when Jansen ordered a pizza at the cabin, deliveryman Chris Turner saw the victim lying on a couch bound by ropes.

The victim mouthed to the deliveryman to call 911. Turner left and alerted authorities to what he had witnessed.

I think Pizza Hut just found its newest ad campaign! Who wouldn’t order a pizza if were delivered by a team of rape-stopping superheroes? You’d pretty much have to be Hitler or lactose intolerant to justify that (they’re pretty much equivalent).

Ironically, I went to deliver a rape to someone and instead found a woman bound and forced to eat pizza. Small world!

[via]

Amsterdam police say 15 camels, two zebras and an undetermined number of llamas and potbellied swine briefly escaped from a traveling Dutch circus after a giraffe kicked a hole in their cage.

Police spokesman Arnout Aben says the animals wandered in a group through a nearby neighborhood for several hours after their 5:30 a.m. breakout.

The animals were back at the circus later Monday after being rounded up by police and circus workers with the assistance of dogs. Aben says neighbors fed some of the animals — which he said was a bad idea — but they were tame and nobody was hurt.

Says Aben: “You have to imagine somebody rubbing his eyes first thing in the morning and saying, ‘Am I seeing things or is that 15 camels walking past?’”

You know, for such an interesting animal, giraffes are pretty nondescript. Where are they in Disney movies? Or advertisements? It’s seriously just Geoffrey the Giraffe out there fighting the good fight for people to remember giraffes and giraffe culture. Call me crazy, but I think giraffes can play a bigger role in pop culture. They have long necks, silly horn things that can hold up a hat…they’re basically ready-made to sell me some sort of fattening dessert or get me hooked on smoking. Someone needs to fight for these giraffes and it may as well be me. Giraffes, remember this favor the next time I get myself stuck in a tree. It happens alarmingly often!