Guyism » Holland

This is how you fail at committing arson

Shawn Norris — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:50:38 +0000

An arsonist in Holland learned an important lesson this week: if you’re going to take up a hobby that deals with fire, you either have to be really careful or you need to buy fire retardant clothing.

Yakety Sax makes even the dumbest criminals seem more bearable. And who drops and then comes back for their car keys when committing a felony? This guy needs a lot more work if he’s ever going to become a profession arsonist or he’s never going to know the joy of eyebrow ownership ever again.

McDonald’s worker fired for giving extra slice of cheese

Chris Spags — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:21:04 +0000

Nobody ever said working for McDonald’s would be easy: According to a report in the Telegraph a Dutch court just ruled in favor of a woman who claimed wrongful termination after being from McDonald’s. The reason given? She gave a coworker buying a sandwich an extra slice of cheese.

The worker was fired at a McDonald’s branch in the northern town of Lemmer in March last year for giving a colleague on a break a more expensive cheese burger instead of the hamburger she had paid for.

McDonald’s claimed she had broken the rules, which prohibit any free gifts to family, friends or colleagues.

“The dismissal was too severe a measure,” the district court in Leeuwarden, in the north of the Netherlands, said in a written judgment.

“It is just a slice of cheese.”

A written warning would have been a more appropriate punishment, said the court, which ordered the fast-food chain to pay the worker the salary for the remaining five months of her contract – a total of 4,265.47 euros (£3,660) [ED NOTE: About $5908 in the US aka one f-load of burgers WITH cheese].

I don’t know what’s more surprising about this story: That McDonald’s would be simultaneously so stern and so callous or that McDonald’s employees have contracts. I’m pretty stunned by the latter. You mean you have to sign employees to a contract to flip burgers and contain themselves from not molesting the ceramic statue of Ronald McDonald? Is this a belabored process like when an athlete signs with a new team in free agency? “Tammy was a great employee, but when she asked for a three-year deal, we knew we had to let her walk, even if it meant giving Burger King a stacked roster of fry grease-changers.”

[Telegraph]

Dutch TV is a bit pedophilic

Chris Spags — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:00:12 +0000

Now I’ve never been to Holland, so I don’t really know what the culture’s like there. But where I come from, as well as most civilized nations, this TV show host with a child performer looks like a relationship that’s frowned upon by most sectors of society.

It’s a lot like Star Search. Only instead of stars, you get a sore heinie and the prize is repression of memories. Which isn’t much of a prize, really. Unless they give you the Men in Black flashing light memory eraser to keep. I can see how that’d come in handy lots of times in the future. Hell, I’d take a creepy older man invading me like a proctologist for that prize. I’ve done it for less.

[thanks Greg for the tip]