Are we recommending you watch The Bachelorette? Yes, yes we are. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

House @ 8pm, Fox: Sadly, Wilson will probably die in the series finale. And not from lupus either.

Lakers-Thunder @ 9:30pm, TNT: R.I.P. Los Angeles Lakers 2011-2012. ]]>

Are we recommending you watch The Bachelorette? Yes, yes we are. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

House @ 8pm, Fox: Sadly, Wilson will probably die in the series finale. And not from lupus either.

Lakers-Thunder @ 9:30pm, TNT: R.I.P. Los Angeles Lakers 2011-2012. It was a nice run. Now blow it up.

The Bachelorette @ 9pm, ABC: I can’t remember—did we decide if Emily Maynard is hot?

Sixers-Celtics @ 7pm, TNT: Frankly, neither of these teams are very good. But I guess someone’s gotta play the Heat in the next round.

Big Break Atlantis @ 9pm, GOLF: There’s an impressive group of ladies on this show.

Jimmy Kimmel Live @ 12am, ABC: Kathy Griffin is on. Why is she famous again?

Season finale of How I Met Your Mother and Emily Maynard premieres in The Bachelorette. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

America’s Got Talent @ 8pm, NBC: This is pretty much a TV bonanza for Howard Stern. I’d say it’s must-watch, if only, because ]]>

Season finale of How I Met Your Mother and Emily Maynard premieres in The Bachelorette. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

America’s Got Talent @ 8pm, NBC: This is pretty much a TV bonanza for Howard Stern. I’d say it’s must-watch, if only, because of him.

Lakers-Thunder @ 9:30pm, TNT: If the Thunder win this series, Metta World Peace should be forced to shake everyone’s hand–after a stink palm.

The Bachelorette @ 9:30pm, ABC: So Emily Maynard is sorta hot right? Is that reason enough to watch the show? Eh, questionable.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: In this season finale, we met Ted’s wife. No, sorry, that’s a lie. Channeling what CBS has done with viewers for years.

Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson @ 12:30am, CBS: I watched Friends with Benefits just to see Mila Kunis half naked. Yes, that’s lame but I do find her fascinating—in a creepy kind of way.

Devils-Rangers @ 8pm, NBC Sports: Hockey’s version of the subway series.

House @ 9pm, Fox: Wilson’s about to die and so is the show. Tune in for lupus!

The Weight of the Nation @ 8pm, HBO: If you want to know how fat our nation has become, I suggest you tune into this documentary.

Dry those tears, buddy. You’ve still got some crying to do. It’s upfronts season, where the TV networks all get together in New York City to talk about their plans for the Fall 2012 season. What that means for the rest of us is that it’s ]]>

Dry those tears, buddy. You’ve still got some crying to do. It’s upfronts season, where the TV networks all get together in New York City to talk about their plans for the Fall 2012 season. What that means for the rest of us is that it’s when we find out what shows are definitively cancelled. Here’s a quick rundown based on industry gossip on what you can expect from each major network.

FOX

Cancelled: Alcatraz, Allen Gregory, Bent, Breaking In, House, The Finder, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, Terra Nova.

The biggest loss here is obviously House, which was one of the network’s strongest performers. Terra Nova is trying to find a new network, but that show is insanely expensive to produce for the ratings it gets, so I wouldn’t expect anybody to bite. Most of the other shows were new and sucked to greater or lesser degree.

On The Bubble: Napoleon Dynamite.

This animated series hasn’t performed as well as FOX would have liked, which isn’t too surprising.

Renewed: American Dad, American Idol, Bones, Family Guy, Fringe, Glee, Hell’s Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, New Girl, Raising Hope, The Cleveland Show, The Simpsons, The X-Factor, Touch.

No big surprises here. New Girl overcame a weak start to become one of the funniest shows on TV, and the only other new series on the list is Touch which annoys me to no end but has the “autism mom” demographic locked up.

ABC

Cancelled: Charlie’s Angels, Cougar Town, Desperate Housewives, GCB, Man Up!, Missing, The River, Work It.

Just a really ugly year for ABC, as they shelled out cash for a bunch of shows that tanked hard. Cougar Town is headed to TBS for a final season to put it over the syndication benchmark. The River might have been the absolute worst series of the year, and GCB was doomed from the day they announced it.

On The Bubble: Pan Am.

The period airline drama (one of two Mad Men cash-ins) hasn’t been officially cancelled, but chances of it returning are minimal.

Renewed: America’s Funniest Home Videos, The Bachelor, Castle, Modern Family, Body Of Proof, Dancing With the Stars, Grey’s Anatomy, Happy Endings, Last Man Standing, Once Upon a Time, Private Practice, Revenge, Scandal, Shark Tank, Suburgatory, The Middle.

No big surprises here. Once Upon A Time was one of the network’s few new successes, and everything else is pretty solid. Scandal is atrocious but it just hasn’t had enough time to fail yet.

NBC

Cancelled: Are You There, Chelsea?, Awake, Chuck, Fear Factor, Free Agents, Harry’s Law, Prime Suspect, The Playboy Club, The Firm, The Sing-Off.

Ouch. The biggest load of cancelled shows came from struggling NBC, who dumped almost every new show of the 2011 season. Most were no big loss, but Awake was ambitious, beautifully filmed and critically acclaimed. People were just too stupid to watch it.

On The Bubble: Nothing.

The message here is clear. Deliver or go home.

Renewed: 30 Rock, Community, Grimm, Fashion Star, Law & Order: SVU, Parenthood, Parks & Recreation, The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, The Office, Rock Center With Brian Williams, Smash, The Voice, Up All Night, Whitney.

After all the fuss about the Thursday night comedies, everything’s coming back. 30 Rock will end with next season, filming 13 episodes including an hour-long finale. Parks & Rec gets a full season, and showrunner Dan Harmon might step down from Community according to the LA Times. The biggest surprise is the renewal of Whitney, which has been struggling.

CBS

Cancelled: A Gifted Man, CSI: Miami, How To Be A Gentleman, NYC 22, Rob!, Unforgettable.

Mostly new shows, pretty much all of them horrible. Rob!, which installed Rob Schneider in a sassy Latino family, was an unmitigated disaster.

On The Bubble: Rules Of Engagement

The network has plugged and unplugged this show from the schedule more times than I can count. It’s passed the syndication benchmark so it could be back or just end forever.

Renewed: CSI, CSI: NY, Criminal Minds, Hawaii 5-0, How I Met Your Mother, Mike & Molly, NCIS, NCIS: LA, Person of Interest, Survivor, The Amazing Race, The Big Bang Theory, The Good Wife, The Mentalist, 2 Broke Girls, Two and A Half Men, Undercover Boss.

Easily the most successful slate of any network, the sad thing is I watch absolutely none of these shows. Not a one of them.

The CW

Cancelled: The Secret Circle, One Tree Hill, Ringer.

Probably the biggest disappointment for the network is the failure of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s return to TV with Ringer. Buffy’s dead, folks.

On The Bubble: Nothing.

There’s less than a dozen shows on the whole network, dudes.

Renewed: Gossip Girl, 90210, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, Heart Of Dixie, America’s Next Top Model, Nikita.

This isn’t really a network I watch a lot but what I’ve seen of Nikita has been pretty good. How long has Supernatural been on, anyways? Like a thousand years?

Slow night for sports so the suggestions are full of estrogen. Here’s what you need to watch.

House @ 9pm, Fox: We’re nearing the series finale of House. Has it been lupus yet?

Yankees-Rangers @ 7pm, ESPN: The Rangers showed over the weekend they’re the ]]>

Slow night for sports so the suggestions are full of estrogen. Here’s what you need to watch.

House @ 9pm, Fox: We’re nearing the series finale of House. Has it been lupus yet?

Yankees-Rangers @ 7pm, ESPN: The Rangers showed over the weekend they’re the team to beat in A.L. Unless, of course, the Yankees have something to say about it.

Smash @ 10pm, NBC: I’ve yet to watch this show but I recently saw an interview with hottie Megan Hilty. She’s uh, interesting. So is this pic of her.

Draft Journey 2012 @ 9pm, NFL Network: A look at draft prospects Andrew Luck, Trent Richardson and Robert Griffin III.

The Voice @ 8pm, NBC: Christina Aguilera wore a skin tight outfit last week that you should really look at. You know, for humor’s sake.

Chelsea Lately @ 11pm, E!: Lauren Conrard was once famous. Now, she’s making appearances with Chelsea Handler. Ouch.

Coyotes-Blackhawks @ 9pm, CNBC: First five games have gone to overtime. Can we get a sixth?

Apparently, Steve Urkel got into a fight with his dance partner Kym Johnson last week. This just draws attention away from Maria Menounos (sad face). Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: Where will Ted, Barney ]]>

Apparently, Steve Urkel got into a fight with his dance partner Kym Johnson last week. This just draws attention away from Maria Menounos (sad face). Here’s what you need to watch tonight.

How I Met Your Mother @ 8pm, CBS: Where will Ted, Barney and Marshall be three years from now? Truthfully, I don’t care, I just want to know who the mom is.

Milwaukee-Chicago @ 7pm, ESPN: The Cubs are lovable losers, or so I’ve been told.

Late Show with David Letterman @ 11:30, CBS: Ricky Gervais and Cobie Smulders tonight.

Dancing with the Stars @ 8pm, ABC: Jaleel White got into a fight with poor little Kym Johnson last week. He blamed it on his alter ego Stefan. Go figure.

River Monsters @ 9pm, Animal Planet: Yes, I’m addicted to this show. You should be too.

House @ 9pm, Fox: It’s not lupus, it’s never lupus.

WWE Monday Night Raw @ 9pm, USA: Last week saw the triumphant return of Brock Lesnar. This week the Three Stooges make an appearance. You giveth and you taketh away WWE.

You should be watching the NCAA title game but if you find yourself bored, here’s some other stuff that might peak your interests.

NCAA basketball championship @ 9pm, CBS: March Madness has sadly come to an end. Let’s all congratulate the 2012 NCAA champion Kentucky ]]>

You should be watching the NCAA title game but if you find yourself bored, here’s some other stuff that might peak your interests.

NCAA basketball championship @ 9pm, CBS: March Madness has sadly come to an end. Let’s all congratulate the 2012 NCAA champion Kentucky Wildcats as quickly as possible before they have to take the banners down.

College GameDay @ 7pm, ESPN: This is a must-watch, if only to see Bobby Knight fall asleep again.

The Science of Sex Appeal @ 9pm, Green: Who do you find attractive and why? Examining the roots of sexual attraction.

House @ 9pm, Fox: With only a handful of episodes left, let’s all remember that Hugh Laurie has been faking an American accent the entire time. Impressive.

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon @ 12:30, NBC: Have you seen Jennifer Love Hewitt’s promo photos for The Client List? If not, you should.

Mad Men @ 11pm, AMC: A repeat of last night’s episode but worth nothing that Betty Draper is now a BBW.

How many times have you seen a love triangle in a movie, watching a TV show, reading a book, or browsing a Guyism article and think to yourself, “Man, I’d give anything to be that guy.” Okay, I threw that last one in to feed my own ]]>

How many times have you seen a love triangle in a movie, watching a TV show, reading a book, or browsing a Guyism article and think to yourself, “Man, I’d give anything to be that guy.” Okay, I threw that last one in to feed my own ego, but you have to admit, with the rest of the options, the thought comes along pretty frequently. Here are a few of those fictional love triangles that any guy would kill to have been the dude in.

9 Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews, Veronica Lodge in Archie Comics
Ah, the never-ending debate: Blonde or brunette? This love triangle found Archie Andrews constantly torn between everyone’s favorite wholesome girl next door, Betty Cooper and the spoiled brat, Veronica Lodge. Only in a comic book could a freckly, redheaded guy have the town’s two hottest women pining for his love. And on a side note while we’re focused on Archie comics, does anyone else think Eminem looks a little like Jughead ever since he ditched the bleached hair for the darker do? Just saying… And this here is the reason a certain unnamed writer will be beaten to a bloody pulp by a famous rapper from Detroit.

8 Anne Bancroft, Dustin Hoffman, Katharine Ross in The Graduate
The porn industry serves as proof that the mother/daughter fantasy is a popular one. Ladies, if your mother is even slightly attractive, trust me…the thought has entered your guy’s mind at some point. So when Mrs. Robinson seduced Benjamin, every guy out there was rooting him on. Let’s face it; despite all of the trouble in got him into, Benjamin Braddock was living the dream. Plus, he had Simon & Garfunkel to provide the background music throughout his predicament… Who wouldn’t enjoy a constant stream of Simon & Garfunkel when they’re going through some tough times? It’s hard to stay all riled up with The Sound of Silence stuck in your head.

7 Jennifer Morrison, Hugh Laurie, Lisa Edelstein in House
Dr. Gregory House is a complete asshole. He says what we’re all thinking and doesn’t care much for whatever consequences await him in doing so. It’s been proven time and time again that women love bad guys and House is no exception. Both Dr. Cameron (Morrison) and Dr. Cuddy (Edelstein) are drawn to the guy despite his negativity. Although Cameron is probably the better looking of the two, Cuddy’s rockin’ body (which House points out on a regular basis) brings them neck in neck. No wonder House has had a tough time committing to either one. It’s not a bad deal to have two successful and attractive doctors pining for your love… especially when you seem to be a completely drug-addicted mess who has very little to offer in a serious relationship.

6 Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillipe, Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions
One of the many horrible Hollywood movies saved by a little girl on girl action. It’s almost as if the studios know these films aren’t going to do well, so they say, “Let’s just throw a kissing scene between two women that doesn’t have anything to do with the plot right smack dab in the middle of the film. That oughtta do the trick”. Well, it worked. And although the kissing scene wasn’t between SMG and Reese, I’m sure most guys would’ve loved to be in Ryan Phillipe’s position as he shot the steamy scenes with both of these actresses. Also, here’s to hoping they can somehow still make that SMG/Reese kiss happen in one of the numerous horrible sequels.

5 Evangeline Lilly, Josh Holloway, Elizabeth Mitchell in Lost
No doubt about it… Sawyer (Holloway) was the man. He was able to pull the trigger with both of Jack’s ladies while Jack sat by himself and cried in the corner… over and over again. You toss in Ana Lucia and Sawyer had himself a nice little Love Square. Naked sweaty time in a sweltering jungle with the ridiculously flawless, Kate (Lilly) alone will make you want to be this guy; but playing house with Juliet (Mitchell) when you’ve been left behind on the island isn’t too bad of an option either.

4 Sharon Stone, Michael Douglas, Jeanne Tripplehorn in Basic Instinct
Michael Douglas has made a career out of hooking up with some of Hollywood’s hottest women on camera over the years. However, it was starring in Basic Instinct with Sharon Stone while she was in her prime that got him on this list. His Skin-e-max worthy sex scenes with both Stone and Tripplehorn had guys everywhere wishing they could spend just a few hours in his character Detective Nick Curran’s shoes. While in the real world, Douglas’ marriage to the “only getting better with age” actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones, has guys wishing they could spend their entire lives in the actor’s real-life shoes.

3 Kristen Bell, Jason Segel, Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Much like Betty and Veronica, this love triangle also featured the battle between the blonde and the brunette. In this case, however, the blonde was the rich, stuck up, prissy, self-centered bitch while the brunette was the down-to-earth one. Here’s the problem with this love scenario: these are two of the hottest women on the planet and yet, they were fighting over Jason Segel. So ladies, you can thank this love triangle (and the rest of Hollywood for that matter) whenever a pudgy, average looking guy at a bar thinks he actually has a shot with you.

2 Adrianne Palicki/Minka Kelly–Taylor Kitsch–Madison Burge/Alicia Witt
in Friday Night Lights
Who wouldn’t want to be Tim Riggins? In just four seasons of Friday Night Lights, the dude managed to land himself two separate love triangles. Sure, he may be a washed up, ex-football star living out of a trailer off beer and Easy Mac, but that’s a small price to pay for his track record. More recently, he pulled the mother/daughter combo with high schooler, Becky (Burge) and her hot bartender mom, Cheryl (Witt). But originally, it was the tall and leggy blonde, Tyra (Palicki) versus the crazy hot brunette cheerleader, Lyla (Kelly). Ultimately, Riggins ended up with Lyla who he first got involved with while she was dating his freshly-paralyzed best friend. Classy guy. Although, I can’t blame him… if it meant some quality time with Lyla, I’d probably pull the same move. I might even go so far as to be the reason my best friend ended up in the hospital. You might think that’s a little extreme, but I know he’d do the same for me.

1 Denise Richards, Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell in Wild Things
The only reason anyone even sat through Wild Things was to see Denise Richards and Neve Campbell go at it. It certainly wasn’t the stellar acting. And, the only reason anyone even bought the DVD was so they could easily skip to those specific scenes that were almost worthy of an X rating. It certainly wasn’t so they could focus intently on the enticing and difficult to follow storyline. Matt Dillon’s character gets extra credit (and top billing in this article) for being the only guy on this list who managed to turn his triangle into an actual threesome. Matt’s brother, Kevin might be the more famous Dillon these days, but all guys would easily take Matt’s “entourage” over Kevin’s any day.

I’ve been a fan of Olivia Wilde ever since I first laid eyes on her, but I have never seen her on House because I don’t watch the show. (I have duties at the homeless shelter that night of the week.) That being said I may have ]]>

I’ve been a fan of Olivia Wilde ever since I first laid eyes on her, but I have never seen her on House because I don’t watch the show. (I have duties at the homeless shelter that night of the week.) That being said I may have to skip my next tour of duty over there if this is the kind of thing I can expect to be seeing…

Screw lesbian fantasies… We have lesbian REALITY, err, fantasy REALITY! And when did Fox officially become Skinemax?

BONUS LIPSTICK LESBIAN PICS! Olivia Wilde at Blush Boutique Nightclub’s one-year anniversary in Las Vegas, which is obviously the greatest club in the world.

Thanks to Isaac for the tip.

These days, finding a good television show is hard. Whether it be bad plots or bad acting, you’ll be lucky to come across one you like.

This week, Guyism brings you shows you should watch for only one reason.

The women.

Today, we feature House, a very good show that ]]>

These days, finding a good television show is hard. Whether it be bad plots or bad acting, you’ll be lucky to come across one you like.

This week, Guyism brings you shows you should watch for only one reason.

The women.

Today, we feature House, a very good show that produces some fine chicks…

Jennifer Morrison

Damn shame they cut her role this past season but nonetheless, this sweet, innocent girl can still look sexy in some scrubs…

Lisa Edelstein

She has milf/cougar written all over her. Every once in awhile on the show they show her in some skimpy stuff. Though she’s probably pushing into the 40s, still worth a second and third look.

Olivia Wilde

They might be killing her off next year which will probably make me never turn to this show again. Until then, I’ll drool when she makes an appearance.

Mira Sorvino

I’ll admit that this pick is a bit bogus on my part. I mean, she guest appeared in one episode. But still, if you can pull tail like this to come in for one freakin episode, the sky is the limit.

Part 1

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Part 2

Online Videos by Veoh.com