Important things to know

How to achieve a long-term goal

Via Basic Instructions comes this comic on how to set and, more importantly, achieve a long-term goal. Inspirational. Read more

This Japanese kid just learned an important lesson

An adorable little Japanese boy decided to give flowers to performers at some sort of recital. The first one goes swimmingly and the second…notsomuch. It seems too obvious to point out that this kid has basically just seen 99% of the future encounters he’ll have with women over the next 20 years. What he should ... Read more

11 year-old girl charged with rape

I admit that I don’t understand all our “laws” but apparently, it’s totally okay to charge an 11 year-old girl with three counts of rape. No details as to what happened have been released and police are incredibly vague as to what happened, which makes the story even odder to me, like a deeply disturbing ... Read more

SHOCKING! Young men don't want old ladies

I’m so f’ing sick of the whole “Cougars on the prowl” nonsense for old ladies with withering vaginas f’ing young guys like it’s a regular occurrence, so it’s great news to see this article that debunks the myth. Turns out young men…not so interested in actually dating old bitches. Read more

Boozing it up with maximum efficiency

Via BasicInstructions comes this important breakdown of drinking for those in need of knowledge. Read more

Study: Men think of women in bikinis as objects

In a new study conducted by the heroes at Princeton University, research has proven that men seeing a woman in bikini are more likely to see them as objects and not think about the woman’s thoughts. I’m stunned. Read more

For a good time, call…

Via Rob and Elliot comes this tale of learning how to take a leap of faith can change your life. Read more

Curious George hates kids

Curious George has always struck me as something of an asshole. Finally, there’s empirical evidence to back up my unwavering anti-adorable-chimp rhetoric. Read more

Nature's cruelest trick

What do you do when your special lady reveals that she’s a special lady who was once a special guy? Watch this Internet video and find out! I think that this teaches an important lesson, one I’ve been imparting for years. It’s a lesson about intolerance. People say we should be accepting of all types ... Read more

Ever heard of a "Lion King"?

Ever heard of the sexual term the “Lion King”? If you’re like me, you hadn’t. But you will never forget it now. Read more

Kid kisses ear, causes deafness

No, not a sudden ability to beatbox and do some ill poppin’ and lockin’, but rather actual loss of hearing. Some kid kissed her mom’s ear and it was all downhill from there. What’s in a kiss? That’s what a Hicksville, N.Y. mother would like to know after her young daughter’s kiss left her with ... Read more