To celebrate America turning whatever year-old it is today, here’s Miss USA 2011 Alyssa Campanella showing us some of her all-American cleavage in something called Regard magazine. USA! USA! USA! Now go get your drink/fun/fireworks stupidity on.

If there’s one piece of advice the Guyism staff can pass on to our loyal readers today, it’s this: If somebody asks you to hold a firework in your hand while they light it, please decline. Also, if you’re not an explosives expert, stay away from mortars.

Your appendages will ]]>

If there’s one piece of advice the Guyism staff can pass on to our loyal readers today, it’s this: If somebody asks you to hold a firework in your hand while they light it, please decline. Also, if you’re not an explosives expert, stay away from mortars.

Your appendages will thank you later.

Eric Smith, 36, was using a three-foot-long metal tube to shoot mortars near his Islip Terrace home on Saturday evening. One of the explosives shot out and struck him in the left arm, taking it off, said police.
Smith’s friends wrapped the arm in ice and took him to the hospital — where Smith was listed in serious condition.

As an addendum to the above, please don’t tape fireworks yourself. We thought that was just common sense, but apparently not for this vlogger.

Happy Birthday, America.

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