If you can’t wait until Friday to see The Avengers, why not go for this hilarious 1978 version.Most of the heroes of Marvel’s latest epic movie have been seen before on the small screen, and some enterprising soul has taken the footage from these notoriously hokey TV movies and compiled ]]>

If you can’t wait until Friday to see The Avengers, why not go for this hilarious 1978 version.Most of the heroes of Marvel’s latest epic movie have been seen before on the small screen, and some enterprising soul has taken the footage from these notoriously hokey TV movies and compiled them into one truly brilliant fake trailer. I have to say, 1978 Tony Stark’s mustaches is way manlier than Robert Downey Jr’s. If Paul Lynde as Loki doesn’t crack you up, you’re a sad person indeed. Special guest appearance by KISS.

I have kids so I can’t smoke weed at home anymore. So I do it at the movies.

Let’s be honest with each other: The Avengers is just about the perfect movie to see high. There are two kinds of comic book movies: the ones that ]]>

I have kids so I can’t smoke weed at home anymore. So I do it at the movies.

Let’s be honest with each other: The Avengers is just about the perfect movie to see high. There are two kinds of comic book movies: the ones that try to pretend that comic books are Serious Artistic Business and should be all realistic like The Dark Knight, which are cool but not very fun to see high. Looking at a dude with half his face melted off can really put you in a bad place. And then there’s the other kind where it’s all colorful dudes in their underwear hitting each other so hard. Avengers is the second kind.

There’s basically two parts to this movie: the first part, where all the Avengers fight each other, and the second part where they team up to fight Loki and his alien minions. This is basically the same structure of all 150 issues of Marvel Team-Up (1972-1985). And it’s cool. The Hulk is the coolest part, though, because his whole deal is fighting other guys. Both of the Hulk movies were pretty bad, especially the Ang Lee one where he fought his dad who was also a tornado or something, so it’s fair to say that The Avengers is the best Hulk movie ever made.

Captain America is also way better in this movie than he was in his own movie, just because he actually has other personalities to play off of. Hawkeye is sort of a non-entity but that’s not a big deal because he kind of sucks. Anybody can shoot an arrow. Iron Man is awesome but I’m sick of him learning about how to be responsible. Scarly Jo is hot and she bonks a dude… on the head. That one guy dies. Thor is also way better than he was in his own movie but that movie also stunk a bit.

The biggest problem I have with this whole mess is that the plot macguffin superpowerful energy source thing is obviously the Cosmic Cube but for some dumb reason they call it the “Tesseract.” Dudes, the Cosmic Cube is an awesome thing and calling it by the dumb name of the thing from A Wrinkle In Time is a punk move. Jack Kirby was the ultimate stoner cartoonist, knocking out crazy ideas every month like it was nothing. They need to just go nuts with his crap, like Devil Dinosaur and the Eternals and that weird Nazi guy with a giant face on his stomach. That’s the kind of superhero movie I want to see. Especially high.

Disclaimer: I fixed all the typos but left in any other stupid stuff.

The new trailer for The Avengers was just released, as was a poster featuring all the major characters (minus the bad guy). This particular teaser for the film, which opens May 4th, features a heavy dose of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury and Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk, ]]>

The new trailer for The Avengers was just released, as was a poster featuring all the major characters (minus the bad guy). This particular teaser for the film, which opens May 4th, features a heavy dose of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury and Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk, a quick scene where Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor appear to be fighting for some reason, and not nearly enough of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. Personally I enjoyed the first trailer better, but hey, you make your own judgement…

The film’s official synopsis…

Marvel Studios presents in association with Paramount Pictures “Marvel’s The Avengers”–the super hero team up of a lifetime, featuring iconic Marvel super heroes Iron Man, the Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow. When an unexpected enemy emerges that threatens global safety and security, Nick Fury, Director of the international peacekeeping agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D., finds himself in need of a team to pull the world back from the brink of disaster. Spanning the globe, a daring recruitment effort begins.

Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner and Samuel L. Jackson, and directed by Joss Whedon from a screenplay by Joss Whedon, “Marvel’s The Avengers” is based on the ever-popular Marvel comic book series “The Avengers,” first published in 1963 and a comics institution ever since. Prepare yourself for an exciting event movie, packed with action and spectacular special effects, when “Marvel’s The Avengers” assemble in summer 2012.

When you hire guys in bootleg superhero costumes for your child’s birthday party, there’s a reasonable expectation there’ll be some good-natured and wholesome fun. But don’t turn on the dance music or else they’ll start dancing like the skankiest of hoes like the Spider-Man (men?), Batman, and Iron Man in ]]>

When you hire guys in bootleg superhero costumes for your child’s birthday party, there’s a reasonable expectation there’ll be some good-natured and wholesome fun. But don’t turn on the dance music or else they’ll start dancing like the skankiest of hoes like the Spider-Man (men?), Batman, and Iron Man in this video.

Okay yeah that was kind of weird but can we talk for a minute about how bootleg that Iron Man costume is? I mean he looks like a midget Mexican wrestler. There have been more realistic representations of Iron Man in Thai porn films. Uh..presumably.

Spider Man, Batman, And Iron Man Dance At Birthday Party [Buzzfeed]

Anthony Le has built a pretty good replica of the suit from the film Iron Man. Well, it’s not exactly a “working” suit, but it’s the closest we’ll all see until the Iron Man wars of 2027.

I guess everyone has to ]]>

Anthony Le has built a pretty good replica of the suit from the film Iron Man. Well, it’s not exactly a “working” suit, but it’s the closest we’ll all see until the Iron Man wars of 2027.