I love the Kinect, but not so much the majority of games available for the platform. Sure Dance Central 1 & 2 are both excellent, but there has to be more than just dancing if it’s ever to thrive and survive. That’s where Steel Battalion Heavy Armor comes in.

Word on the street is that the PlayStation Vita is not doing so hot in Japan. And nothing illustrates this better than the advert for its version of Super Monkey Ball.

As you can see, it’s mostly just some Japanese model playing the game while trying to keep herself ]]>

Word on the street is that the PlayStation Vita is not doing so hot in Japan. And nothing illustrates this better than the advert for its version of Super Monkey Ball.

As you can see, it’s mostly just some Japanese model playing the game while trying to keep herself balanced on one of those yoga balls, and in a bikini.

I mean, sure, it’s a way to emphasize the gyroscopes in the system and how that has a direct impact on gameplay.

But still, it’s a tad bit too obvious and pandering. We expect better Japan, sorry. But is it any worse than those special levels in which you’re rolling over her breasts? Not really.

Dead or Alive has always been about one thing: it’s depiction of polygonal mammaries. And if you thought developer Team Ninja had run out of tricks for part 5, you’d be wrong.

DoA is known for the ridiculous boob physics, and to highlight such a ]]>

Dead or Alive has always been about one thing: it’s depiction of polygonal mammaries. And if you thought developer Team Ninja had run out of tricks for part 5, you’d be wrong.

DoA is known for the ridiculous boob physics, and to highlight such a feature, the female characters have always dressed appropriately. As in, hardly at all. But Dead or Alive 5 changes all that by adding some class to the proceedings.

According to Kotaku, the game with feature clothes that become transparent over the course of a fight. One has to assume that sweat is the primary mode for this.

Oh, and there will be different types of threads, that will affect boob physics. Who says that the Japanese have lost their touch when it comes to making games? Actually, that would be me.

Super Monkey Ball, that game which has you controlling a cute little monkey encased in a ball and navigating suspended platforms, teaming with tight corners and bottomless pits, has always been a family oriented affair. Thankfully that’s been fixed.

A Vita version of the popular all-ages ]]>

Super Monkey Ball, that game which has you controlling a cute little monkey encased in a ball and navigating suspended platforms, teaming with tight corners and bottomless pits, has always been a family oriented affair. Thankfully that’s been fixed.

A Vita version of the popular all-ages game on the way, and in Japan (naturally), there’s going to be an “Adult Map.” Instead of a regular coarse that is filled with abstract landscapes, to give the impression that one is climbing some virtual mountaintop, or soaking in the rays of a polygonal sun, you’re rolling around (and over) what is quite clearly human breasts.

The mammaries in question belong to a Yukie Kawamura, a Japanese model who is being used to promote the game. Well, pictures of her at least. And whose breasts have been made to pop out. Additional screenshots can be found over at Andriasang, though this is the only other one of note…

And you can find a trailer featuring Kawamura playing the game, but not actually showing it here. Remember ladies: as bad as you have it America, it’s SO much worse in other parts of the country.

This post goes out to both our female readers and male readers who will inevitably feel a twinge of sadness: Japan has found a way to stop cleavage in its tracks.

Sold in Japan for 1,050 yen (about $13 US), the Breast Line Cover is designed ]]>

This post goes out to both our female readers and male readers who will inevitably feel a twinge of sadness: Japan has found a way to stop cleavage in its tracks.

Sold in Japan for 1,050 yen (about $13 US), the Breast Line Cover is designed to keep women from exposing more of themselves than they want while still wearing stylish clothing.

According to the product’s site, the goal is to avoid “accidental glimpses of cleavage.”

But how does this magical bringer of sadness work, you ask? A clasping mechanism attached to a woman’s bra provides the coverage they need.

I’m all for women avoiding the leers of weirdos. But if you want to wear certain fashion forward outfits that might expose some skin, isn’t there an inherent or assumed risk involved? Not that you’re necessarily looking for it, but that such attention might occur? If I go around in a banana hammock or a Borat bikini, I may feel more sexy and confident than ever before. But I should also be aware that my goods may very well be flopping about aimlessly, giving the world a show. My genitals starring in a Punch and Judy performance is just part of the game at that point.

Stop Creeps From Looking Down Your Shirt Forever [Kotaku]

The Onion’s AV Club has decided to honor a little known TurboGrafx-16 game from 1989 called Last Alert. Why? Because it has, without a doubt, one of the worse voice acting jobs in the history of games, and that’s saying a lot.

You know, when you get down to ]]>

The Onion’s AV Club has decided to honor a little known TurboGrafx-16 game from 1989 called Last Alert. Why? Because it has, without a doubt, one of the worse voice acting jobs in the history of games, and that’s saying a lot.

You know, when you get down to it, a line like “You can’t hire my feelings” wouldn’t be half bad, coming from someone who knows how to act.

Okay, maybe not.

No, it isn’t a homeless Japanese person in the park, bothering pigeons with some kind of trick involving discarded popsicle sticks he found in the trash while foraging for food. Well, it might be, but he’s also pretending to be Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury fame.

According to

No, it isn’t a homeless Japanese person in the park, bothering pigeons with some kind of trick involving discarded popsicle sticks he found in the trash while foraging for food. Well, it might be, but he’s also pretending to be Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury fame.

According to Kotaku, the dude above is from some Japanese sketch group. And for those wondering he’s able to emulate Terry’s Power Wave special with popsicle sticks, it’s thanks to this novelty item.

Though one can achieve the same affect without such gadgetry; just Google “popsicle stick bomb.”

It’s a dark day for all male models out there. Their livelihoods are officially in jeopardy, thanks to Prada discovering an endless supply of pretty boys. Namely JRPGs, as evidenced by their latest pitchmen, the cast of Final Fantasy XIII-2.

What you’re seeing above are selected cuts from Prada’s 2012 ]]>

It’s a dark day for all male models out there. Their livelihoods are officially in jeopardy, thanks to Prada discovering an endless supply of pretty boys. Namely JRPGs, as evidenced by their latest pitchmen, the cast of Final Fantasy XIII-2.

What you’re seeing above are selected cuts from Prada’s 2012 Spring/Summer men’s collection, featuring the men, and one woman, of Square-Enix’s latest JRPG epic. Good luck figuring out which one is the dame!

Tokyo Jungle is a game in which humans are long gone and animals have taken the earth back. So what are they doing in our place? Wearing goofy hats and having sex in public places. Just like people!

The notion of the meek inheriting the earth is hardly groundbreaking. ]]>

Tokyo Jungle is a game in which humans are long gone and animals have taken the earth back. So what are they doing in our place? Wearing goofy hats and having sex in public places. Just like people!

The notion of the meek inheriting the earth is hardly groundbreaking. But it’s the insane assortment of furry creatures that makes this particular game such a hoot. Everything from hyaenas and bears to pomeranians and baby chickens?

If there is a God above, this game will eventually make its way out to America. But only for $20. The graphics are simply atrocious, and anything more would be highway robbery.

As we get closer to the latest and greatest from Japan’s preeminent gonzo game maker, Suda 51, the marketing blitz for Lollipop Chainsaw is kicking into high gear. As evidenced by the ad starring a perky cheerleader soaked in blood.

Some might recall my reaction towards the game being ]]>

As we get closer to the latest and greatest from Japan’s preeminent gonzo game maker, Suda 51, the marketing blitz for Lollipop Chainsaw is kicking into high gear. As evidenced by the ad starring a perky cheerleader soaked in blood.

Some might recall my reaction towards the game being somewhat cold originally, but I’ve since been won over, and not just because I’m a fan boy of the game’s maker and his studio, Grasshopper Manufacture.

And it’s not because of the blonde soaked in blood, one who also carries around a chainsaw either (she’s not my type, by the way).

It’s the gameplay we’ve seen thus far that has me all hot and bothered. And which is absent in the video above, I know; simply click here for previous examples. Lollipop Chainsaw‘s hottest arrives on June, 12.

You know how you’ve long been craving to make out with ads you see on the street? Oh, no one in their sane mind would do that? Well, ignore that. You can now make out with ads and they’ll respond accordingly. Thanks, Japan!

Not to get all hipster on you, ]]>

You know how you’ve long been craving to make out with ads you see on the street? Oh, no one in their sane mind would do that? Well, ignore that. You can now make out with ads and they’ll respond accordingly. Thanks, Japan!

Not to get all hipster on you, but I’ve been motorboating those Jennifer Love Hewitt Client List ads on NYC bus stops before this was a thing to do. Don’t see me posting videos bragging about it do you, Japan?

The PlayStation Vita’s edition of Katamari is still be the best thing going right now, and with some upcoming DLC on the way, it’ll take the “oh Japan!” factor up another 25 notches.

Granted, most of the video is of some guy speaking in Japanese, which might not be ]]>

The PlayStation Vita’s edition of Katamari is still be the best thing going right now, and with some upcoming DLC on the way, it’ll take the “oh Japan!” factor up another 25 notches.

Granted, most of the video is of some guy speaking in Japanese, which might not be all that interesting, unless you actually speaking the tongue. Thankfully the wacky headgear helps. But a dedicated fan of the series (like myself) can tell that certain levels and objectives from previous games are being brought over.

Specifically, the make a snowman level, and having to collect the most expensive items in a given stage, both of which are from the Xbox 360 version, I believe. The collecting maids, on the other hand, is entirely new, and the real centerpiece is the Pac-Man themed level.

Namco tries their best to infuse the yellow dot into pretty much everything these day, and for the most part, it’s way forced, so kudos for an actually inventive take. No word yet on when it’s coming to the US, but one has to assume that it’s not too far down the road.

As you may have heard, the Japanese like to invent things. Not just normal things. Seemingly weird things, like, say, the hand-cranked vending machine.

What’s that for, you might wonder? To get a workout in before getting a soda? In actual fact, it’s a practical solution to a serious problem: ]]>

As you may have heard, the Japanese like to invent things. Not just normal things. Seemingly weird things, like, say, the hand-cranked vending machine.

What’s that for, you might wonder? To get a workout in before getting a soda? In actual fact, it’s a practical solution to a serious problem: how, in the wake of natural disasters, to get your hands on food and water.

The Japanese use vending machines a lot. It’s what happens when space is at a premium and you can’t go for suburban sprawl. The problem is, Japan also happens to be subject to just about every kind of natural disaster you can think of: meteors, fires, volcanic activity, and as we all know, earthquakes and tsunamis.

These tend to knock out the power and render a key source of vital supplies, those vending machines, utterly useless. Enter the hand crank:

OK, so it takes seventy cranks to get the machine going, but frankly, when you’re desperate for clean water or just something to eat, that’s not a big deal. But as silly as this looks on the surface, it’s a great thing to have.

Hand-cranked vending machine [Engadget]

The latest installment in this series, Yakuza: Dead Souls, in which the undead is added to free-wheeling Japanese gangster sim, comes out today. And while it might seem a bit late to mention its pre-order bonuses, one can actually still nab all the goodies that Gamestop is offering, which ]]>

The latest installment in this series, Yakuza: Dead Souls, in which the undead is added to free-wheeling Japanese gangster sim, comes out today. And while it might seem a bit late to mention its pre-order bonuses, one can actually still nab all the goodies that Gamestop is offering, which is a good thing. A very good thing.

Why? Because as far as pre-order bonuses go, this is the jackpot. You’ve got five bonus outfits (with easily the best being series mainstay, Kiryu, all decked out in red, white, and blue for some bizarre reason), eight bonus weapons (including a tank), three bonus missions, and… karaoke?

And don’t forget all the fun that was outlined already. To nab your copy, with all the bonuses outlined above, you’ll have to order via Gamestop.com.

The Japanese are known for being a cultured and dignified society. But even they are prone to online freak outs over being banned on PSN. As evidenced by the person wearing a Snuggie and a plastic bag, trying to tear a comic book in half (and failing).

According to ]]>

The Japanese are known for being a cultured and dignified society. But even they are prone to online freak outs over being banned on PSN. As evidenced by the person wearing a Snuggie and a plastic bag, trying to tear a comic book in half (and failing).

According to Kotaku, the dude above was kicked out of the Playstation Network for an exchange of words over Call of Duty that apparently got too salty. He claims it was due to jealously, over his leet skillz.

The best part, naturally, is the part in which he tries to tear a telephone book thick manga, and fails. Granted, that would be impossible for any person, but why wouldn’t he edit out the footage of his failed attempt anyway? Pure laziness one might suppose, as further demonstrated by the state of his abode.

A while ago, we highlighted the extra costumes that Juliet in Lollipop Chainsaw can sport, depending on where you pre-order, including a rather hot looking take on Evil Dead‘s Ash. But that’s for us Americans; what about the Japanese? As Andriasang points out, they’re getting ]]>

A while ago, we highlighted the extra costumes that Juliet in Lollipop Chainsaw can sport, depending on where you pre-order, including a rather hot looking take on Evil Dead‘s Ash. But that’s for us Americans; what about the Japanese? As Andriasang points out, they’re getting threads unique to the Premium versions (specific to each platform as well), along with others that everyone can download, based upon various different anime that also deals with zombies. Because, while us Americans enjoy watching Bruce Campbell mow down the undead, in Japan they prefer scantily clad and vaguely underage schoolgirls (though the appeal of the latter is pretty universal, I would have to think).

We love you, Japan. We don’t say it often enough, but we love you. Especially when you invent weapons like this.

Sadly, it is not called the “Shut The F*** Up” Gun, even though it should be. It’s called the SpeechJammer. Still, this has brilliant implications ]]>

We love you, Japan. We don’t say it often enough, but we love you. Especially when you invent weapons like this.

Sadly, it is not called the “Shut The F*** Up” Gun, even though it should be. It’s called the SpeechJammer. Still, this has brilliant implications for sporting events, movies, funerals, restaurants… anywhere some jackass needs, desperately, to stop running his mouth.

Here’s how it works: it uses a directional microphone to pick up what the scientists at the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology politely call “unwanted speech,” records it, and then fires it right back at the speaker with a 0.2 second delay. Sound annoying? It’s way more annoying than you think.

The brain needs instant feedback, that is, hearing your own speech as you say it, to keep things in sync. Hit that with even a slight delay, and suddenly, it’s really hard for your brain to speak.

Sadly, this is a painless process, and not a permanent solution: there is no gun that can force silence and self-reflection on a human being. People will get used to it if you use it too often.

On the other hand, combine with with a slingshot to take out texting screens, and you’ve got a great way to enjoy the movies.

Japanese team invents device that silences the overly wordy [Gizmag]

Introducing Diabolical Pitch , the latest from Grasshopper Manufacture, one of the few devs that still has the confidence and know-how to create distinctly (but still fun to play) Japanese games. Given that their take on GTA involved an animu dork with a light saber beating up a gothic Lolita ]]>

Introducing Diabolical Pitch , the latest from Grasshopper Manufacture, one of the few devs that still has the confidence and know-how to create distinctly (but still fun to play) Japanese games. Given that their take on GTA involved an animu dork with a light saber beating up a gothic Lolita with a sniper rile (No More Heroes), it only makes sense that their idea of baseball involves zombified mascots and Kinect.

The following was actually revealed a couple months back, at Tokyo Game Show, which I totally forgot to highlight and even forgot existed. But thanks to Andriasang posting new screenshots, figured now was as good a time as any to pass long the trailer…

Not much else to say here: you’re some baseball guy who must toss fast balls, swing the bat, and occasionally kick what appears to be possessed or perhaps just otherworldly mascots, plus roller-coasters. The aim of the game is a more “mature” take on baseball. Seriously. Which means it might be rated M when it hits American shores.

And when was the last time any sports game, especially one in which you flail your arms around, for the Kinect, was slapped with a Mature rating? One has to wonder if it also asks you to pretend to chew tobacco! Time will only tell; it’s due sometime later this year.

For those who could care less about another fighter starring Ryu and Ken, then perhaps Animal Kaiser is your answer?

In Japan, much like in America, collectable card games are fairly popular. But things are a little bit different over there; instead of just slapping piece of paper on a ]]>

For those who could care less about another fighter starring Ryu and Ken, then perhaps Animal Kaiser is your answer?

In Japan, much like in America, collectable card games are fairly popular. But things are a little bit different over there; instead of just slapping piece of paper on a table and playing out all the wackiness that they’re supposed represent in your minds, they have dedicated terminals, essentially video games, that does it for you.

It’s like an ATM, kind of; just slide your cards and watch stuff unfold on-screen. The game themselves range in subject matter, but are mostly aimed at kids. And since tykes love animals, that’s what Animal Kaiser is all about. Though it’s definitely not the same, run of the mill crap that’s aimed at children in America, as Kotaku points out…

The problem with American parents, educators, and all the rest is how they think kids are enable to handle absurdity, and thusly are obsessed with presenting just the facts. Who care if gorillas really can’t do backflips or why God is dropping a giant pineapple on earth? Not only will it expand their mental horizons, but also put hairs on some chests. Maybe.

Other than the beating up undead street punks this time around, Yakuza Dead Souls is still a Yakuza game. Meaning plenty of bowling, fishing, and playing ping pong with prostitutes.

Okay, they’re not actually hookers, more like escorts. The technical term, in Japan, is hostesses. Anyway, the upcoming Yakuza ]]>

Other than the beating up undead street punks this time around, Yakuza Dead Souls is still a Yakuza game. Meaning plenty of bowling, fishing, and playing ping pong with prostitutes.