The following are the latest spots to promote the upcoming Binary Domain in Japan, which arrives in America on the 28th of this month. As noted once already, it’s details what happens when the nice and friendly robots that have become part of everyday society snap and all decide to go after their human overlords.

And once again, the live action commercials follow the exploits of a humble and somewhat hard luck droid, just trying to get on with his protocols. This first one, as highlighted by Andriasang, is the best of the bunch, which has him at a hostess club after work, showing off some one of his fancy, robot-only tricks…

As before, sucks that it’s not subtitled, but I’m pretty certain that in the end, the reason for his error was because the final target’s breast were fake. Unfortunately, I have no clue what happens in this second clip…

My best guess is that the cash register tells the human cashier “Hey, I don’t think he’s old enough to buy beer” and is forced to produce age verifying identification, which he is unable to do. Anyhow, if the game is indeed about robots on a rampage, I’m guessing the final spot will have being pushed once too far, and going on a murderous rampage as a result. Or something like that.

Some YouTube show called Otaku Verse Zero decided to stop by Sega, where the game is made, and chat with one of its designers. A number of questions were posed, really good ones in fact!

Among the genuinely enthralling nuggets of info revealed is how the game accounts for both the speed and amount of urine, via microwaves. Call me crazy, but it would be fun to know how much piss my body has produced after a few PBRs. Though the “urine ranking” feature I can perhaps do without.

Most intriguing of all was hearing o the nucleus of the project. How someone realized that “all men have a unique, one-of-a-kind “controller”, a symbol of manhood” and how it was a dream to make a game out of it.

As well as hearing how every man has his own “style” of playing, which can be contingent upon a person’s height, or chosen relative distance to a urinal. Furthermore, there are no plans to export the game, but there’s been definite interest.

Also, a women’s version has been requested, but since they can’t aim as well as men… sorry ladies. But as the female co-host says at the end: “Let’s hope for the future.”

Remember that game I mentioned a few weeks back, in which your 3DS was essentially a creepy little window into a fantasy world, where you can leer at Japanese high school girls who won’t call the cops?

Well, aside from being able to look up her skirt, depending on where she was positioned in the game’s world, you can also do the same in same in yours. As in, you can deposit her in your actual surroundings; it’s part of a mode called “Anywhere Date” that actually does an amazing job of flexing the handheld’s AR capabilities.

Basically, when you have to take her out on a date, you really do have to take her (and the system) somewhere. Snap a picture of wherever you are with your 3DS and not only will your girlfriend be inserted into the scene, but she’ll also behave accordingly…

Here’s another example, via Tiny Cartridge as well…

This third is easily the most impressive, since it shows the highest degree of environmental behavior. As you’ll notice, she’s actually sitting down, inside the trolly. Instead of just standing around, oblivious to her surroundings…

From the examples above and others thus far, it would appear that your make believe date can only interactive with still images, and not environmental data on the fly. My best guess is that it takes a lot of processing power to analyze the geometry of a setting that is static. If stuff was moving, that would be simply too much. But it’s impressive nonetheless.

One can only imagine what kind of reactions may come, depending on what you shoot. Specifically places for her to sit… on.

Just opened in one of Tokyo’s trendiest districts, Shinjuku, is a brand new restaurant that is serving up assorted dishes, all based around various games of theirs. Everything from Resident Evil to Sengoku Basara. Here’s a look at the menu, via Capcom Unity not too long ago…

Well, it just opened for business, and they just posted a closer look at the list of entrees. Monster Hunter spare ribs looks pretty damn good…

As does the Phoenix Wright themed onion rings and octopus balls (I don’t get the connection, but they look tasty nonetheless)…

Silioncera also stopped by and took candid pics of their own. And in the wild they look great, even the RE brain cake…

Last year, Capcom did something similar, specifically to celebrate the 15th anniversary of Resident Evil, where they gave a bar a facelift for a limited time. The selection of food wasn’t as wild, but they did allow patrons to fire rounds from replicas of the guns in the game, which was pretty cool.

I think any regular reader knows by now my affinity for stuff from Japan. And it doesn’t just include games; I’m also ga-ga for anime, comics, and toys. Regarding the latter, I’m mostly a giant robot person, but I also have a thing for the female form in plastic.

Trust me, it’s not the easiest of hobbies for otherwise normal, straight single male to maintain. But you’d be surprised how open minded many women are. And if a woman can tolerate, even enjoy my little statue of a nurse taking a piss in a bed pan, she’s going to lot of fun.

Anyhow, coming soon are a pair of Metroid figures. First is the better of the two, based upon Zero Suit Samus…

Yes, it’s a piece of plastic, but a hot as hell looking piece of plastic!

And as you can see, the details are quite stunning, plus she even comes with a little baby Metroid…

Then you have Samus in her suit…

This is slightly more “respectable” and less pervy. Also, more posable…

To be honest, I’d be all over this one as well, if not for the fact that shoulders are from Other M, and not the design everyone knows (and loves) the most from Super and Prime…

Now, how much will these cost? That’s the best part; import specialist National Console Support have both available for pre-order; Samus out of her suit will cost you $120 and inside will require $63. What a deal, huh?

But again, kids need not apply; you better have a good paying job to indulge in such goodies.

Remember my mention of the porno based upon Tomb Raider? Well, while that’s going along as planned, a previously announced and somewhat similar effort has been shelved. One that’s based upon the game Catherine. Which I ultimately enjoyed, yet still found to be the most overrated game of last year.

In the end, the puzzle based gameplay and the tale of some dude trying to chose between two women was not the best of fits. Actually, they worked decent together, but people giving the game far too much credit than it deserved was a real turn off. Sure such symbolism was something entirely new to video games, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like it’s on the level of Citizen Kane or such nonsense.

Also, Another Take On Catherine wasn’t technically a porno, but what is called a “pink” or “gravure” flick. Long story short, it’s the Japanese equivalent of softcore. Anyway, here is how it was shaping up, before the plug was pulled (somewhat NSFW, btw)…

Studio Happy Chicken, the folks behind the project, announced the cancellation in a blog post It’s very much apologetic, and even slightly ramblish. Though they did mention something called Game Girls Go!, whatever the heck that might be.

BTW, I’m actually somewhat familiar with Japanese pink cinema. Basically they’re either dramas or comedy that have slightly graphic sex. And believe it or not, they’re actually really good. The stories and the acting is of super high caliber, expect at certain parts, they’re actually doing it. To the point that it’s kind of a distraction, and even annoying.

I guess it also doesn’t help that I get as hot and bothered over Asian women like most guys; since I’m part Korean, they’re not nearly as exotic as the rest of you round eyes.

With the Stop Online Piracy Act is looming, many concerned gamers have taken it upon themselves to write in to their favorite game companies and ask them to not support the asinine piece of legislature. That’s what one person did, as it pertained to Sega, but the response was strange enough for him to post on a message board, which become somewhat of a meme for a few hours at least…

“Generally these issues are caused by bad installs or junk data that’s stuck in the system’s memory. The first suggestion would be to perform a hard reset on the device. It’s best to attempt this any time you experience performance problems with your device or have an app crash. If that doesn’t work, it’s suggested you uninstall the app, perform a hard reset, reinstall and then perform one more hard reset before launching the game.

“If you’re [SIC] problems continue, please let us know.”

Obviously it’s some automated response for a problem that has nothing to do with a law. An automated response that has a grammatical error. Hey, I make them all the time, but least each one is brand new and fresh! In response to the negative attention, a bunch of people working at Sega decided to get together and make the following…

A good deal of the comments left on the video itself have been people making fun of the weight of the women on camera, which is pretty lame and not cool. But comments regarding how unfunny it is are spot on. Furthermore, that forum thread has plenty of other folks stating that they to have gotten the same, pre-canned response to their serious concerns.

And if that’s the best Sega can do as it relates to poor customer service and sidestepping the real heart of the matter, i.e. their position of SOPA, it’s no wonder how there’s no such thing as a Sega diehard like there was once (I used to be one in fact).

Meanwhile in Japan, Sega has released a pair of videos to help promote their upcoming Binary Domain, a game that takes place in a world in which humans and robots co-exist. With the following illustrating the fact with a salarybot whose just as dopey as their human counterparts.

Too bad it’s not in English, but you can find out what the hell is going on via Kotaku‘s explanation. At the very least, they look a hundred times more interesting than the actual game itself, and demonstrate how just putting a bunch of people in front of the camera, sans a script, proper lighting, and acting chops, is usually a bad idea…

What they lack in proper usage of English or conventional business practices, they more than make up for in exuberance.

It’s no ordinary sale. It’s a FUCKIN’ SALE! [Japan Subculture via Gawker]

True, the following is for the Japanese market, but the powers that be clearly knew that its existence would make waves here. And diehard fans of the series are legit pissed by such a shameless ploy for attention. All I can say is, in this day and age in which it’s damn near impossible to get anyone’s attention, especially via advertising… mission accomplished?

By the way, via the above’s source, here’s the opening of the game, which comes out on the 31st here in America (we get our copies two days before those in Japan)…

As noted several times in the past, I’ve gotten the chance to put early builds through its paces and, overall, and it’s quite good! Far as I can tell, a lot of the nonsense from part 4, like the wacky armor-breaking mechanic, is gone (or perhaps still there, just massively adjusted and toned down). Not a fan of most everyone being a kid of the combatants from the past, since that didn’t work so well in Tekken 4, but then again, I’m one of the few people on earth that actually cares about the storyline in fighting games. Most important part is how all the female characters look less “whorish” than before.

Time for a quick story: I remember getting the Dreamcast on day one, plus some of its stellar launch line-up, including the original Soul Calibur, and having a pal of mine come over. He was on the fence about getting the system, since he had been burnt by Sega way too many times, but after noting how both the breast and ass jiggling physics on one of the characters, he had to get himself the system and game the very next day! Point being, sex sells (duh).

Remember that game Love Plus, which I mentioned during my wacky rundown of creepy animu games? Specifically the part in which your viewing angle depends on how you hold your 3DS? Well, that’s why the following dude is doing what he’s doing…

Well, the obvious question is: does it work? Via the source, courtesy of Tiny Cartridge, I guess?

So yeah, like I said, there’s a game coming out in the land of the rising sun called Listen to Me, Girls. I Am Your Father! For the PSP; here’s the trailer…

According to Andriasang, which has been on top of this game since it was first revealed in last October (and which I’ve had my eye on ever since, waiting for the right moment to say something), it’s based upon a young adult novel in which some young man must all of a sudden live and take care of his sister’s three daughters after his sister’s plane goes missing.

So are you really their old man? Maybe not? So that just means your niece wants to have sex with you/you want to have sex with your niece, and that’s still mighty messed up.

Then you have Conception: Please Have My Baby, which, compared to the game above, seems relatively tame: you’re a dude (naturally) who has to have knock up 12 girls in order the save the world. It’s also for the PSP and here’s the teaser…

Again, details courtesy of Andriasang once again: you and your pregnant cousin/childhood friend (are you the dad? I’m willing to bet top dollar), at high school graduation, are whisked to some fantasyland that’s in total disarray. This is by achieved by producing “Star Children” (the band Kiss then? oy vey) with twelve ladies, and these types are who accompanies you while dungeon crawling.

Apparently, you don’t have sex with the ladies to reproduce. Instead, both parties put parts of their souls in device to create the progeny. Well that’s not very exciting.

Next is something that’s not nearly as high concept, but is also exceptionally creepy on virtually ever level. It’s called Touch Shot! Love Application for the PS3…

So in this game, you have a mobile handset, the “yPhone”, which has a special app that allows you to peer into the mind of women. To be honest, the concept doesn’t sound half bad, since it’s not far removed from Hot Tub Time Machine on various levels. But that didn’t featured a bevy of underaged, Japanese school girls in 2D.

Moving forward is one of the more infamous games of its kind, which you may have heard about, called Gal Gun. It’s been described as a “first person pheromone shooter”…

And the premise goes something like this: some apprentice angle accidentally shoots you with a special arrow that makes you the most popular guy in school among the ladies. Thing is, he only has the hots for one girl, so has to fend off everyone else in his search for her. Which has to be done while the effect of the arrow is in full effect, otherwise she’s never been his gf for whatever arbitrary reason (also, everyone will go back to not giving a rat’s ass about him, like usual).

As you can see, this is achieved by shooting them with some kind of gun that overloads their senses with your pheromones, or something like that. Not sure if you could tell, but at the very end of the clip, that’s all 2D, is a special mode that obscures the game at the touch of a button. Basically, if you’re bashful about sharing your interest with your mom or girlfriend… Though let’s be honest; it’s a safe bet that your average Gal Gun player will lack the latter.

Finally, comes the upcoming sequel to a game that’s been a total phenomena in Japan. It’s extremely tame when compared with everything seen thus far. Though what made the original turn heads was how feature rich, and ultra realized the experience was. And the sequel looks to be even more so…

So yeah, never mind the wacky antics of the guys in the commercial for one second; so what made the original Love Plus so special? Well, once you began a virtual relationship, you had to do your best to keep her happy, and means juggling things in the real world. Example: if you have a date set at a specific time, like 7pm on a Tuesday, it actually applies to the real world. So you had better have that DS handy at seven that day and be able to spend actual time with her, otherwise your polygonal gf will be pissed.

It had quite the affect on dorks, including one in particular, which lead to a real deal marriage. Again, you can’t make this stuff up…

Over the weekend, a brand new Pokemon game was unveiled in Japan. Many had assumed (myself included) that it would be Pokemon Gray, which would combine Black and White, since there’s always some follow-up that combines the best features of whatever just released offerings. It’s the main reason why I haven’t gotten either of the aforementioned titles.

Oh, that and how the formula has completely run it’s course. Among other things, the new Pocket Monsters just look lame. Anyhow, others had also predicted another installment in one of the numerous, well-established spin-offs. Ultimately, no one actually expected anything different, since Pokemon itself has failed to evolve for years now. So the following took everyone by surprise…

So what’s the deal? It’s Pokemon X Nobunaga’s Ambition. The latter is a popular (mostly in Japan, though it used to have quite the following in America as well) series of turn based, strategy role playing games that is based Japan’s real deal history, dating back to the feudal days. The center of it all is Oda Nobunaga, one of the men who helped to unify the country after many years of bloody conflict. Which he did so by being a military badass himself.

Though what history doesn’t tell us… and I guess Nintendo is going to help finally fill in the blanks… is how he had a cute critter by his side the entire time. Details are sparse, but you apparently play as some kid from that era, and along the way, you become embroiled with the people and events that has been passed down throughout history, except Pokemon have been inserted throughout.

Yes, it’s all quite wacky. But honestly, not the worst of ideas. Pretty much the only time I gave a rat’s ass about America’s history was when I was experiencing first hand what pioneers who were swept up by Manifest Destiny had gone though, via Oregon Trail (thought it’s debatable if anyone back then actual proceeding with nothing but weapons, and completely naked, like how I sent my people).

Perhaps kids in Japan do not give a damn about their nation’s formation either? It’s also worth noting that this past weekend also saw the release of Sony’s PlayStation Vita. And this is what Nintendo had as a response? Okay.

Earlier this week, Sony came to town, to show off all the new PS3 and PSVita software that they have in store in the coming weeks and months. Among the titles shown was the latest installment of that “oh, you’re so Japan sometimes, Japan!” game in which you’re a super little guy who rolls a very sticky ball that just gets bigger, and bigger, and bigger…

Overall, it wasn’t bad! It’s by far the best portable edition of the series. Mostly because the controls don’t flat out suck, like on the PSP and iPhone versions. You can still use just the touchscreen for this new one to roll your ball, but it took me 0.4 seconds for my thumbs to run towards the Vita’s dual analogue sticks.

Even the Namco rep on hand was willing to admit that the franchise has gotten stagnant, so perhaps an actually playable portable edition is just what the doctor ordered. The one big new gameplay element, as seen above, the whole stretch of the ball was also pretty neat.

Though kudos for being the only game thus far to use the Vita’s touchpad in the back in the way that actually made sense and wasn’t super awkward. But I’ll be talking about all the other stuff I test drove this coming Wednesday!

Behold the perfect thing to chillax on, while gaming….

… Looks super comfortable, doesn’t it? As you can see, you can either use it to rest you arms and elbows, during extended sessions of whatever game, or to offer back support, when you’re just kicking back and watching someone else play.

I just find it funny how the Wii is what the models are playing. If anything, the chair is better suited for traditional controllers, like for the Xbox 360′s and PS3′s, in which you’re simply holding something in one single position for possibly a long time. Which in turn leads to fatigue and the such.

Meanwhile, lots of Wii games require all sorts of full body motions, and that arms rest would mostly get in the way, it would seem. Anyhow, looks awesome, though it costs 7895 yen, which according to Destructoid is about $101 from Amazon Japan. And that’s BEFORE International shipping.

Perhaps one of these days, someone like Mad Catz or Nyko will rip off the design and make and American equivalent. Though there’s sure to be improvements. Like a sub woofer, right where the armrests are, so you can “feel the action, dudes!” And don’t forget a cup holder for the extra large Mountain Dew.

Pretty much, ever-single gaming dork, especially one who grew up on Nintendo, wants to go to Japan. Why? Because of places like Super Potato. Every single game shop you’ll find in Tokyo will blow one’s mind (and every single Gamestop here in America out of the water as well), but SP is the king of that hill. And I’m lucky enough to say that I’ve actually walked down its cramped but wonderous aisles!

Aside from having just old games (in excellent condition, and in stellar condition; another thing that the Japanese have on us is that they take care of their stuff, whereas all used games from GS are banged up or are sticky for some reason), they have all sorts of rare oddities, making it a veritable museum of sots. As the following, courtesy of Kotaku illustrates…

Yes, they also have an arcade, which is upstairs.

Any fans of the Yakuza series out there? You basically play the role of a tough as nails, but with the heart of gold Japanese tough guy, who wants only to live a peaceful existence, but keeps getting dragged back into the criminal underworld. There’s been four primary entries, along with a PSP side story that never made it out here, along with another PS3 spin off that took place during feudal times.

Well, here’s another, but this one takes the mainstays from the regular games and tosses zombies into the mix…

Many were shocked that it even came out in Japan, myself included. Just a few days before it’s original release date was the earthquake and tsunamis, which understandably led to a delay, but many wondered if it would come out at all due to its depictions of society being ravaged by a catastrophe.

But much like how folks in NYC were still fond of that Spider-Man trailer in which he used the Twin Towers to create a huge web to capture a helicopter, post 9/11, and were thus pissed that it was taken out of the DVD release, Like a Dragon Of the End (the Japanese title of Yakuza is Like a Dragon, btw) was eventually released and life went on.

BTW, the fifth proper installment is in the works, and as they do with each one, the game’s makers are holding a beauty contest to find women to turn into the ladies that populate its virtual hostess clubs. Here’s the promotional clip for latest search, which is spanning five different cities across Japan…

Here are the contest details, in case you interested. Please note that you have to be a Japanese woman whose 18 or up. That’s gotta be at least a couple hundred of you readers, right? BTW, here’s a shot of all winners from part 4…

That guy in the throne, with the really deep tan. He makes the games, btw. And yes, he’s a total bad ass. The image is also from this Andriasang post, which talks about how one of the gals ended up in a porn. Once again, Yakuza is a man’s man game as it gets!

On a somewhat similar note with that bear pillow/robot hybrid Dan mentioned… familiar with the game Katamari Damacy? It was that weird and wonderful title for the PS2 in which you controlled a little guy and little ball that was sticky, and by rolling over things, it would grow bigger, and bigger, and bigger, etc. Well, it was a darling among casual and hardcore gamers, who also loved the follow-up, for the PS2 also.

But that good times feeling didn’t last for long, as the PSP version felt kinda “been there, done that”, as did the subsequent Xbox 360, PS3, and iPhone versions. The formula simply became stale, though the graphics and especially the music for each installment has always been nice and fresh (the soundtrack for the 360 in particular is rather underrated).

Not helping is how the man who created the game jumped ship after part 2, since he wasn’t thrilled with management’s decree to turn it into a full-fledged franchise, with yearly updates (who would then run off to make an even stranger game). Anyhow, and not surprisingly, there’s another installment headed to the Vita. Even if the latest version proves to be the same old, same old, for the 15th time, at least their intros are always worth watching…

Moving on, Japan’s affinity for scantily clad babes and zombie eradication has been firmly established (and honestly, it’s hardly a combination that’s exclusive to the land of the rising sun, especially since Lollipop Chainsaw is basically their take on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, as if it needs to be pointed out). Well behold the latest chapter of the Onechanbara saga…

The series has actually been kicking it out east for a while now; originally part of a line of budget titles for the PS2, it developed a rabid fan following (for obvious reasons) and there’s been countless follow-ups ever since (with two managing to make it out here in the States: Bikini Samurai Squad for the Xbox 360, and Bikini Zombie Slayers for the Wii). The thing is, they’ve ALWAYS looked kinda janky, since they’ve stuck to the series roots and have always had a rather meager budget.

But the above looks, I dunno, quite nice! Either the publisher decided to finally put a serious budget behind the game (at last), or the definition of “low budget” has again been morphed by the times we live in today.

… Oh, and for the record, I love bring up such a “nasty” stereotype about the Japanese because A. I’m part Korean, and there’s more Asian love to do than hating other Asians. Also, B. a pal of mine who went to Japan a few years back actually stumbled across one, so if you hear “but that’s just b.s. made up my Americans”, you can tell them to shut the f up. But where were I? Oh yes…

Gotta like the Grand Theft Auto wannabe that could. Whereas GTA has tried going the “respectable” route over the years, Saints Row is going the absurdist route, as evidenced by the employment of Time & Eric most recently. Well, yet another piece of the puzzle is “The Penetrator”, a three-foot long purple dildo that’s one of the many wacky weapons found in Saints Row: The Third.

Though, as reported by Game Informer, the weapon had to be significantly alternated in the land of the rising sun. Why? Because they have laws prohibiting against the depiction of genitalia. Which means that the veins have been removed, along with the head, plus its physics has been altered. Instead of flopping around, like a dildo (or “the real thing”), it’s fully erect.

And in related news, via Kotaku, 25 real life replicas that were destined to France and the Netherlands, on route to some promotional event, went missing a few days back. Here’s what one looked like…

… They were apparently destined to game journalists on that end. Did I get one, btw? Sadly, no. Whether that’s because of guidelines affecting Americans, or I’m somehow not cool enough to get a three-foot long phallus in the mail, is anyone’s guess.

Street Fighter 2 has been around for such a long time that many of us have forgotten why it was so successful in the first place. There’s two primary reasons. First, it laid the gameplay foundation that pretty much every single fighting game since has followed, especially in terms of controls, special moves, and combos. That much is obvious. Though its characters is what made the game so appealing and iconic.

Virtually every corner of the globe and associated nationality was represented, and accurately… somewhat. Hey, did anyone else notice that Ryu, who’s from Japan, is actually flying from Australia during the tournament? Same with Ken, the American, who apparently was living in Canada at the time. And never mind how Brazilians aren’t really green. But that’s still more than, say, Africa got.

Nonetheless, every world warrior is instantly identifiable and likable. But they didn’t appear out of thin air. There was much trial and error on the part of the game’s designers, and the following details the faces we never saw…

A couple of points:

- I’m willing to wager that Star Luchador was a take on Starman from Pro Wrestling for the NES. Just a wild guess.

- Yeah, that black guy with the chain collar is pretty mind-blowing. Makes the also racist looking DeeJay (at least to myself, hence why I’m dying to know what Capcom of Japan had in mind originally) look super tame in comparison.

- I also loved the line about how he makes Balrog look like Malcolm X in comparison. BTW, bonus points to the narrators trying to be funny, and actually being so. Especially since, and as I’ve noted countless times, most folks who try to be funny on the internet (especially gamers) are anything but.

- To be honest, I don’t find the riot cop character so stupid. Then again, I also didn’t find the same guy as dumb in Mortal Kombat 3. My only beef is how, in part 9, he looks like the WWE’s John Cena.

- Interesting seeing the evolution of Vega. He was at one point going to be a templar knight? Oh Japan!

- Ditto for Zangief’s original name, aka Vodka Gorbalsky.

- Sorry, but the idea of a guy dressed up as Ganesha is pure genius, I don’t care what those guys say. Though I will concede that it’s still pretty racist.

- They also hit the nail on the head as to why only Street Fighter fanatics give a rat’s ass about part 4: its characters simply suck. Honestly, are any of the rejects on that end any worse that oily guy that’s actually in the game?

It’s called Toirettsu, and it’s something I’ve mentioned once already. Though some new footage of the game recently popped up, so let’s take another look!

Designed not so much for the arcade but a bar, or any place in which men need to relieve themselves (so theoretically, it can be installed pretty much anywhere), the game itself is essentially a mini game collection. The ones that the internet at least knows includes a fairly straightforward affair: simply see how many mugs you can refill with your own brand of yellow liquid…

Another is essentially tug of war, thought the key to victory is who can shoot the most milk out of one’s nose. One has to wonder if the makers made any kind of connotation between the action being done to play the game, which again is taking a piss, and the color of the liquid on screen, which is white. What am I say; the game is from Japan, of course they do…

I have absolutely no idea what’s going on here, other than when you pee, letters are also released, which the nurse seems to really dig. But not nearly as much as the huge, phallic specimen jar she’s cradling…

Though by far the best one has the strength of your urine flow being reinterpreted as a massive storm that rips the clothes off of some hapless, on the scenes weather reporter…

So yeah, works of genius? Perhaps. Though when you really stop to think about it, they kinda don’t work on a fundamental level. Mostly due to the fact that, well, there’s zero skill in taking a leak.

Not helping is how all you really do is hit a stationary target. Obviously, having it move around, or just asking the player, who will no doubt be drunk, to wave his junk around is perhaps a dumb move. Still, in the case of the tug of war activity, how will that work exactly? Am I the only one who just lets his piss out and doesn’t bother to fiddle with the control of the flow and the such?

Also, are people expected to pay to play these games? Not only is it way too easy, but ends in about 30 seconds (unless someone has serious bladder issues). Then again, once again, this is Japan. The idea of putting down money to play a game while you take piss is about as wacky as a vending machine that dispenses used panties. Actually, it’s not!