Several weeks ago the readers of Fitness magazine said Aniston had the best current celebrity body, and pretty much everyone agreed that was a bit odd, but Men’s Health magazine turned the crazy up to 11 their recent decision to name Aniston the sexiest woman ever. Then again, when you look at the rest of the top five you can sort of see how she might have won: Raquel Welch, Marilyn Monroe, Britney Spears and Madonna.

Other women whose rankings caught my eye for the odd placement they received on the list (Keep in mind, this list is supposed to be “of all time.”): Mila Kunis (96), Barbara Eden (90), Phoebe Cates (89), Audrey Hepburn (82), Elle Macpherson (80), Alicia Silverstone (66), Bo Derek (56), Jessica Alba (54), Carrie Fisher (52), Kim Basinger (51), Brooklyn Decker (50), Jenna Jameson (49), Paris Hilton (46), Erin Andrews (43), Miranda Kerr (41), Kim Kardashian (26), and Cameron Diaz (24).

Yeah, none of that makes any sense to me either. Keep in mind, this list is supposed to be “of all time.”

So who would Aniston pick for sexiest woman of all time? She says it’s a tie between Brigitte Bardot and Gloria Steinem.

Gloria Steinem.

My head hurts.

Jennifer Aniston: The Hottest Woman Ever? [Men's Health]

“I think it’s really cool that a guy who doesn’t look like a model can have this [title],” says the Hangover actor, 36. “I think I’m a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying.”

……………. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Doesn’t look like a model…. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Phew!!! Sorry… but is he fucking kidding me? I want to have sex with this guy and I am as heterosexual as they come. He speaks fluent French for christ sakes.

Bradley does go on to point out that he isn’t much of a player with the ladies despite his looks, and THAT I can actually buy because the list of women he’s been tied to in the last couple of years leaves something to be desired: Renee Zellweger, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston, and Olivia Wilde. Okay, that last one was okay, but dude, you’re the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. Go get you some Minka Kelly, some Blake Lively, some Scarlett Johansson, something. Use that title. Go.

Bradley Cooper Is PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive! [People]

I know, I don't get it either...

They only listed five names in their poll so in that case we might understand how this could happen, but Halle Berry was one of the names listed, so actually, yeah, it really doesn’t make any sense after all. Halle came in second with 28%, followed by Beyonce at 17%, Kim Kardashian at 15%, and Blake Lively at 6%. Why these were the five women given as choices, I have no idea.

Fitness also asked who the sexiest female celebrity over the age of 40 was and Jennifer won that as well, further proving that the readers of the magazine haven’t watched TV or seen a movie in the last five years. Jen came in with 25%, Halle – 24%, Jennifer Lopez – 22%, Demi Moore – 19%, Gwen Stefani – 6%, and Courteney Cox with 4%.

Here’s another scatological poll result I’ll just share with you in it’s entirety:

We asked, “If you could have one celeb’s body part, what would it be?”
Survey says:
Jennifer Aniston’s abs…65%
Cameron Diaz’s arms…12%
Blake Lively’s legs…11%
Pippa Middleton’s butt…7%
Christina Hendricks’ chest…5%

First off, 12% of the women who voted in this poll want Cameron Diaz’s arms. Really? These arms? Remind me to run from any date’s house if I see a copy of Fitness magazine lying around.

Next, I will address the “over 40″ poll by mentioning a few names: Diane Lane, Elle Macpherson, Liz Hurley, Lori Loughlin (not really relevant anymore, I know, but still), Monica Bellucci, and Salma Hayek.

And finally, with regard to the female celebrity’s body they’d want most overall, I refer you to this. I rest my case.

The Best Celebrity Bodies of 2011 [Fitness]

Teen Bride Courtney Stodden Talks Wedding Night: “I Was Aroused for 24 Hours Straight” (Video)
“We went to the Chateau in Hollywood it was so beautiful it was a wonderful experience.”

Minka Kelly: I Turned Down Free Plastic Surgery
“She said that she could get me a job at this doctor’s office in return for plastic surgery which I would need to be a Playboy Playmate.”

Kim Kardashian — Sex Tape Deal Goes Limp
“We were offered $20 million for the Kim tape but have decided that we are going to hang on to it … for now.”

Jennifer Aniston Spends $450,000 on Painting
“Jennifer Aniston was the winning buyer at Christie’s glitzy ‘Artists for Haiti’ auction in NYC…”

Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins Split 1 Week Before Abduction Premiere
“At the Abduction party, it was awkward. They barely said a word to one another.”

Kim Delaney Escorted Off Stage After Incoherent Speech in Philadelphia (Video)
“The actress, 49, fidgeted at the podium as she told crowd members how she ‘served in active military duty family for five years’”.

Bristol Palin Faces Off with Angry Bar Patron; Calls Him “a Homosexual” (Video)
“Is it because you’re a homosexual and that’s why you hate her?”

Levi Johnston Claims Sarah Palin Had a “Cougar Crush” on Him
“Even growing up my friends would always say that [Palin would flirt with me], it seems kind of weird.”

Sarah Palin Offered $1 Million to Take Lie Detector Test
“…adult website AshleyMadison.com has offered the Palins $1 million to prove their innocence.”

Alex Rodriguez on Split with Cameron Diaz: “We’ll Always Be Friends”
“I have a lot of love for Cameron.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
The new red band trailer for the upcoming movie The Thing.

Minka Kelly Explodes After Getting Groped on Charlie’s Angels Set
“The staffer came up behind the 31-year-old actress and slapped her across the rear end while holding a $100 bill in his hand…”

Jen Aniston’s Team “Went Ballistic” After Brad Pitt Insult
“She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”

Robert Pattinson is Recording an Album
“The album Rob will make will be guitar-based and drums, very organic-sounding, nothing pop…”

Kardashian Sisters Slam Elisabetta Canalis’ Dancing With the Stars Performance
“Shows are rigged all the time.”

Brad Pitt: Angelina & I Not Marrying Until Gays Can
“The kids are putting on the heat. They really are. They are putting on the heat.”

Mel Gibson Accused of Pastry Meltdown
Mel Gibson allegedly tried to run over a man outside a Costa Rican bakery…”

Cheryl Cole Launches Shoe Collection
“Cole’s limited-edition footwear collection is due to hit stores in December…”

Levi Johnston Tells Dr. Phil Bristol Palin Lied About How She Lost Virginity
“Obviously she’s not using the date rape thing, but it’s horrifying for someone you date for four years to say that.”

Rosie O’Donnell Has a New Girlfriend
“They are adorable together and are very, very happy.”

Gayle King Sued by Matchmatcher for Not Delivering Oprah
“Orly alleges she spent hundreds of hours hooking Gayle up with 5 men — all fabulous.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of a sexy photo shoot with singer Shvona Lavette.

Kim Kardashian’s Sisters Hate Kris Humphries
“Kris is getting famous for marrying a Kardashian.”

Kim K — Calling the Shots for New Pussycat Dolls Show
“…she’ll be running things BEHIND THE SCENES — as the executive producer of a new PCD reality show…”

Mary-Kate Olsen, Dakota Fanning Diss Lindsay Lohan at Fashion Week
“At two separate bashes, Mary-Kate Olsen and Dakota Fanning took serious measures to keep their distance…”

Charlie Sheen: “I Would Have Fired My Ass Too”
“It was bad and I own my part in that, and I just want to make everything right.”

Charlie Sheen: I’d RETURN to Men … If They’d Have Me Back
“If they thought it was a good idea … I’m completely on board for that.”

Brad Pitt: “I Wasn’t Living an Interesting Life” While Married to Jennifer Aniston
“”It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself.”

Brad Pitt: Jennifer Aniston Comments Misinterpreted, She “Remains My Friend”
“The point I was trying to make is not that Jen was dull, but that I was becoming dull to myself…”

Jennifer Aniston — Photog Swarm is Crippling Neighborhood
“…the paps have been stirring up constant mayhem for weeks — creating traffic problems, blocking driveways, and even causing a few minor car accidents…”

Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis Explain Hacking Scandal Photos
“At no time did Mr. Timberlake and Ms. Kunis exchange inappropriate texts or emails. … The insistence that there is any inappropriate correspondence between the two parties is entirely false.”

Gerard Butler Explains His Drastic Weight Loss
“I’m prepping for a surf movie.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Oliva Munn’s photo shoot for the latest issue of Shape magazine.

Petra Ecclestone outdoes Kim Kardashian with superstar wedding
“…she had opera superstar Andrea Bocelli serenading the guests before the sunset ceremony, rock icon Eric Clapton playing the newlywed’s first dance and none other than The Black Eyed Peas as the dance band.”

Jim Carrey answers critics about “creepy” Emma Stone video
“People often ask me if I’m being funny or serious. The answer is ‘YES’. ?;^]”

Ashlee Simpson “drunk-dialing” ex Pete Wentz
“Ashlee was telling Pete how much she misses him and wants him back.”

Mark & Donnie Wahlberg opening “Wahlburgers” restaurant. No, really.
“It’s a good-sounding brand we could put out the product with, a great name people could relate to.”

Minka Kelly & Ramon Rodriguez more than just costars?
“They have been together long after they need to be for the show.”

Minka Kelly hinting at Derek Jeter split weeks ago?
“I don’t need a man to validate me.”

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux move in together
“Jen and Justin are very excited about living together in their new home.”

Jessica Alba: First photo since delivering baby Haven
“Alba looked calm and collected in a white maxi dress topped with a denim shirt and cross-body bag.”

Jaime Pressly pleads no contest to DUI, will have locking device on her car
“The 34-year-old North Carolina native will have to complete a six-month alcohol education class…”

Bus driver crashes into Dana Delaney — then asks for her autograph
“Only in Hollywood.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Candice Swanepoel in a new photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret’s VSX Sexy Sport

James Franco confesses to making sex tape
“It’s not like I went down to Van Nuys and tried to break into the porn industry.”

Jennifer Aniston, Justin Theroux trying for a baby
“She is anxious for the next phase of her life and feels like this is the time.”

Jennifer Lopez returning for another season of American Idol
“Idol’s Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe confirmed the news during a Wednesday call to On Air With Ryan Seacrest.”

Rebecca Black: I left school because of teasing over “Friday”
“…you know, they’ll be like, ‘Oh hey, Rebecca, guess what day it is?’”

Arnold Schwarenegger taunts the woman he humiliated via novelty t-shirt
“Apparently when the Governator left office, Maria’s Office of the First Lady staff made the shirts as a joke.”

Ali Lohan, 17, signs multi-year modeling contract
“Lindsay Lohan’s 17-year-old sister has signed a multi-year modeling contract with NEXT Model Management.”

George Lopez TV show cancelled
“…but there’s an even bigger story here — that Conan O’Brien is failing at the network.”

Kelly Rowland: Nip slip was “very embarrassing!”
“In related news — Kelly says one of her biggest musical influences is Janet Jackson.”

Emma Stone and Olivia Wilde get a gorgeous new gig
“Emma Stone and Olivia Wilde will be glamming it up together as the new global brand ambassadors for Revlon.”

Ashton Kutcher scores huge Men paycheck
“Ashton is actually getting between $800,000 and $900,000 an episode.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of Juicy Couture’s “Viva la Juicy” ad campaign with sexy model Sasha Pivovarova.

Kim Kardashian’s star-studded wedding guest list
“Will Smith and Jada will be guests, and of course Ryan Seacrest and Eva Longoria.”

Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt divorce exposed in a new tell all book
“Jennifer filed for divorce in 2005 from Pitt because of a confession from him after her many attempts to find out the truth.”

Charlie Sheen: “I think Ashton’s gonna kill it’
“It’ll be nice to know that they get some carryover ratings from people being sorta curious about what happened to their guy.”

“Watch The Throne” hits #1 in 23 countries on iTunes
“With Jay-Z and Kanye, they’re so iconic that it’s not going to make a difference what they decided to do; people are gonna want it.”

New pics from World War Z, Bryan Cranston joins cast
“Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston [will] have a ‘small but flashy’ role in the film.”

Dirty Dancing remake in the works
“High School Musical director Kenny Ortega has announced that he will direct a remake of the classic film, which starred [Patrick] Swayze and Jennifer Grey.”

Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans arrested for violating probation – again
“Evans’ lawyer, Dustin Sullivan, tells RadarOnline.com that Evans tested positive for marijuana and opiates.”

Buy Anna Nicole Smith’s former mansion for $1.75 million
“…the late model and actress’ five-bedroom decked-out abode features a sprawling outdoor deck, pool, and spa that offers panoramic views of Los Angeles.”

Chris Bosh — I didn’t torpedo my ex’s TV career
“Bosh’s ex Allison Mathis claims she had brokered a $250,000 deal with [Basketball Wives] producers to appear on the show — but Bosh threatened to sue if that happened…”

Bravo’s Andy Cohen receives seven figures for memoir
“One thing he won’t call it, he says: Stories Sarah Jessica Told Me.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton, and Adriana Lima behind the scenes for Victoria’s Secret.

Oprah Winfrey sued for allegedly stealing “Own Your Power” slogan
“Simone Kelly-Brown (CEO of something called Own Your Power Communications, Inc.) claims her company has been around since 1996…”

Miley Cyrus defends gay rights tattoo
“This isn’t the first time that Miley’s sharing her beliefs on Twitter has sparked debate.”

Winehouse rep: Amy was NOT going to adopt
“I think [Amy] might have met her in St. Lucia, but she was in no way about to adopt her.”

Kings of Leon — We’re cancelling our entire U.S. tour
“We are so sorry to say Kings of Leon are canceling their entire US tour due to Caleb Followill suffering from vocal issues and exhaustion.”

Snooki gets nose pierced as filming wraps on Jersey Shore
“The cast said goodbye to their pals at the Shore Store, where they’ve worked for the past three years.”

Helen Mirren named “Body of the Year”
“The 66-year-old Mirren just beat Elle MacPherson, and Jennifer Lopez and Pippa Middleton for the title…”

Mark Wahlberg: I’ll finance an Entourage movie myself
“I certainly hope this has a chance to become a feature film.”

Britney Spears nabs Joe Jonas for Femme Fatale Tour
“Jonas tweeted Friday (July 29) that he’s opening for Spears at her August 5 stop in New Jersey.”

Samantha Ronson arrested for DUI
“Ronson, who famously dated Lindsay Lohan off and on from 2008 to 2009, was alone at the time of the arrest.”

Jennifer Aniston throws herself a going away party
“She grew up in New York and says she wants to spend much more time in the Big Apple.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Sexy star of the new movie Crazy, Stupid, Love, Analeigh Tipton, in an interview with BULLETT.

16 year-old bride did not have boob job, says plastic surgeon
“In my professional opinion Courtney Stodden does not have implants. Her breast are 100 percent natural and organic.”

Scarlett Johansson and Justin Bartha: Are they dating?
“She attended the opening of All New People, a Broadway play written by Zach Braff and starring Bartha, last Saturday, and the pair were inseparable at a dinner afterward…”

Blake Lively reunites with Leonardo DiCaprio in Santa Barbara
“They seemed very much in love.”

Mila Kunis used a butt double
“…these lovely women had to show us their derrieres and we chose the one that resembled my body the most without looking like it’s fake.”

Amy Winehouse’s parents visit apartment shrine
“An autopsy is expected to be performed today at St. Pancras Mortuary.”

Jennifer Aniston is talking engagement
“They’re kind of pre-engaged.”

First lawsuits settled in Hollywood poker scandal
“Two people who played alongside … Ben Affleck, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire in Tinsel town’s top-secret poker circuit, have settled their lawsuits…”

James Franco splits with girlfriend of 5 years
“The industrious actor, writer, artist and student has parted ways with Ahna O’Reilly, his actress girlfriend of five years.”

Demi Lovato to release new album September 20
“I hope you’re screaming and jumping down in your room right now because I’m about to tell you when my album is releasing.”

John Edwards ordered to pay back $2.3 million
“Federal auditors said all but approximately $200,000 of the total $13 million he received for his 2008 presidential campaign came from federal matching funds…”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Victoria’s Secret model Lindsay Ellingson telling us why she loves her body.

Kate Middleton bought $1500 in air fresheners for Kensington Palace Cottage
“She felt [Kensington] had an overriding musty, damp smell, and ordered a six-month supply of her favorite products to override this.”

Lindsay Lohan pleads poverty – claims she can’t afford psychological counseling
“Lindsay Lohan appeared before a judge in Los Angeles Thursday morning and despite flashing a beautiful pair of $1,200 shoes, pleaded poverty…”

Shannen Doherty will get married on TV
“Doherty, 40, will star in her own WEtv reality series about her life with her fiancé…”

Jennifer Lopez told Marc Anthony she wanted a divorce last year
“She stayed but she was miserable until finally she couldn’t take it anymore.”

Hugh Grant wins court battle over phone hacking probe
“…a British judge demanded that UK police disclose whether journalists from now-defunct tabloid News of the World broke into Grant’s phone and accessed his voicemail.”

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux go public with romance
“Jen – wearing a simple, but elegant black cocktail dress — walked hand-in-hand with the dashing actor/screenwriter as they left an after-party at Shoreditch House…”

Law and Order: SVU to tackle Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal
“For the fictional TV take, a charming 50-something philanthropist named Andrew Raines has an affair with a woman close to his family’s inner circle…”

John Stamos describes Hairspray role as “sort of like a straight Ryan Seacrest”
“‘Ryan’s a friend, we’ve kissed,’ Stamos joked.”

Hugh Hefner on not marrying Crystal Harris: “I missed a bullet”
“Quite frankly, I don’t know what I was thinking about.”

Brooke Mueller NOT permitted to fly to Mexico for rehab — Lost her passport
“Brooke Mueller lost her passport, and was unable to leave for rehab in Mexico, to take the controversial drug ibogaine, which isn’t legal in the U.S.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
The Beastie Boys’ new music video for “Don’t Play No Game That I Can’t Win.”

Wait a minute, that’s not how you pronounce “cementing”…oh I see what you did there. I get it. I get jokes.

I didn’t see “Horrible Bosses” this weekend, but I did see some of the previews specifically discussing how hot Jennifer Aniston is. And I concur. No matter whatever absurdly high standards she has in a potential mate after banging out Brad Pitt for years, she should be able to find some dude who can give her what she needs. There have always been rumors about her being kind of nuts and doing insane diets, like eating baby food, but who cares? I’d put her in a bib, feed her, and make airplane noises if it got me access to that dry-aged booty and some of that “Friends” money. The sacrifices we make for theoretical love.

Lady Gaga’s drug and diet hell: “She’s a walking time bomb” says friend
“Lady Gaga has been branded ‘sick’ and ‘obsessed’ in an explosive new tell-all…”

Jennifer Aniston talks Brad Pitt “break-up”
“…Aniston confessed that she was ‘shocked’ by the break-up…”

Jennifer Aniston going on hiatus
“Jen’s taking a year off from work to enjoy herself.”

Ben Affleck lost $400K to movie mogul Ron Meyer in top-secret poker ring
“Affleck, 35, even hosted his own game — which was referred to in poker circles as ‘Ben’s Game’.”

The Situation: I MIGHT be ditching Jersey Shore
“The Situation has been antsy lately … telling producers he doesn’t need the show.”

Daniel Craig: Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is extremely “adult”
“…this is a $100 million R-rated movie. Nobody makes those anymore.”

Elizabeth Hurley to join Gossip Girl
“…Hurley will play Diana Payne, ‘a sexy, smart, self-made media mogul and all-around force to be reckoned with.’”

Artie Lange: I would LOVE to return to Howard Stern
“Lange disappeared from the Stern show in January 2010 … after a private medical emergency.”

Teen Mom’s Farrah: Why I got a breast augmentation
“I thought I lost ‘boobage’ from having a baby.”

Gwyneth Paltrow sells lemonade to help animals
“…Gwyneth Paltrow and her children set up a sidewalk lemonade stand.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
A sexy new commercial for Victoria’s Secret Pink NFL collection.

Angelina Jolie, Sarah Jessica Parker are the top paid actresses: $30 million
“Other actresses with bustling bank accounts: Jennifer Aniston, 42, and Reese Witherspoon, 35, who each earned $28 million.”

Charlie Sheen’s new TV show — Anger Management
“Charlie Sheen’s new TV show will be based on the movie Anger Management and Charlie will be playing the Jack Nicholson character.”

Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel giving relationship another try
“Jessica really wanted to get back together with him and Justin realized single life is not what it’s cracked up to be.”

American Idol alum Pia Toscano signs with Interscope
“…the Idol songstress will release her debut single, “This Time,” on July 12…”

George Clooney’s best friend: Why he dumped Elisabetta Canalis
“You never know in life, and men are having an identity crisis but I can tell you George is not gay.”

Casey Anthony sentenced to 4 years, but may be free within a month
“Despite that [murder] acquittal, she was found guilty on four counts for lying to investigators following Caylee’s disappearance.”

James Spader officially heads to The Office
“…the Boston Legal veteran won’t be the new Scranton branch manager of Dunder Mifflin — he’ll be the CEO of Sabre.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger eager to return to acting after divorce
“He wants to put this chapter of his life behind him, and make hit movies.”

Maria Shriver: Thanks for the offers, but no thanks
“Maria Shriver has been deluged with offers to go back on the air, but she’s turning them all down flat … at least for now.”

David Hasselhoff to play well endowed porn star on Sons of Anarchy
“Time to dig out that old red speedo!”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Audrina Patridge’s sexy new cover shoot for FHM magazine.

You can check out more of Audrina Patridge and the kama sutra at FHM.com.

Justin Timberlake considering MySpace talent competition
“…the singer-turned-actor has got plenty of ideas about how to get MySpace back on track as a destination for music fans…”

Why Casey Anthony was acquitted
“…perhaps the key distinction is this: Where the prosecution sought to provide answers, the defense aimed to raise questions.”

Paris Hilton stalker arrested, accused of violating restraining order
“Someone recognized him as being the man who had given her trouble in the past, and the cops arrived pretty quickly…”

Jennifer Aniston: Horrible Bosses topless scenes are just “good rumors”
“Where do these things start?”

Arnold Schwarzenegger to give Maria Shriver “generous settlement”
“The Terminator is worth roughly around $500-750 million dollars…”

Nicki Minaj: My cousin was murdered
“27-year-old Nicholas Telemaque was killed around 2:40 AM on July 4 from ‘multiple gunshot wounds to the upper torso.’”

Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson’s divorce finalized
“Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have officially moved on.”

Katt Williams’ bodyguard kills dog in bizarre attack
“…one of Katt’s bodyguards was bitten by a German shepherd — prompting the bodyguard to open fire twice … killing the dog.”

Playmate’s Mom: My daughter is NOT banging Hef!
“Lena Griffin … tells us her daughter has NEVER been Hef’s girlfriend — adding, ‘the rumors that they are dating were just for publicity.’”

Transformers sequel sets box-office record
“Summer sequel mania was in full swing over the Independence Day holiday as the latest Transformers movie took in an estimated $97.5 million.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
New trailer for the upcoming movie The Three Musketeers.

Lindsay Lohan violated terms of probation – Tested positive for alcohol
“The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court tomorrow.”

George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis split
“We are not together anymore. It’s very difficult and very personal, and we hope everyone can respect our privacy.”

Did Lady Gaga wet her pants on stage?
“The undisclosed footage in question, obtained by WENN.com, allegedly shows the popstar relieving herself midway through her performance of ‘Alejandro.’”

Are Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton close to becoming a couple?
“Middleton reportedly calls Harry ‘Captain,’ which is his rank in the British army and Harry calls her ‘Commando.’”

Chris Brown sends Rihanna sexy Twitter message
“Chris Brown shot the 140 characters or less over to his ex-girlfriend Rihanna over the weekend, but removed the post…”

Chris Brown dodges parking ticket — drops gay slur
“Y’all n**gas is weak. Did you all call them to try and film me? Y’ALL N**GAS IS GAY.”

Ryan Dunn toxicology report released — He was drunk, Very drunk
“…Dunn’s BAL was .196, which is more than twice the legal limit of .08 in Pennsylvania.”

How Jennifer Aniston pulled an Angelina with Justin Theroux
“It sucks when your ex dates the most famous woman in the world so soon after a breakup.”

Emma Stone dating Spider-Man costar Andrew Garfield
“They got close during filming and have been hooking up.”

Investigators probe Ryan O’Neal over Farrah Fawcett’s missing $30M Warhol
“Farrah, who lost her battle with anal cancer two years ago this week, notoriously left nothing to Ryan in her will.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Isabeli Fontana and Cintia Dicker on the runway at the Salinas Bikini Show

Are we buttoning or unbuttoning here?

Jennifer Aniston may or may not be dating some guy who already has a girlfriend, but that’s of no consequence to us as what we really care about is how hot she looks in this photo shoot for the latest issue of Marie Claire magazine. I like these pics despite the fact that they put Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day in the photos with her. I’m sure there was some editorial reason for it, but frankly I could have done without them. Just my opinion.

Dexter Isaac admits he shot Tupac Shakur
“I want to apologize to his [Tupac's] family and for the mistake I did for that sucker [Rosemond].”

Jennifer Lopez “on the fence” about American Idol return
“I had an amazing time doing it and I love it but I have a lot of other things happening…”

Hugh Hefner tweets about breakup with Crystal Harris
“Since we’re not getting married on Saturday, I’ve scheduled a movie: Runaway Bride.”

Crystal Harris breaks silence on Hugh Hefner wedding shocker
“There was no fight, we sat down and we talked about it.”

Crystal Harris denies romance with Dr. Phil’s son
“This is pure fabrication. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been one. This is a stupid rumor.”

Amanda Bynes has “no regrets” about her tell-all tweets
“You say what you feel because you felt it at the moment.”

John Travolta’s Scientology mission center vandalized
“The letters ‘ANON’ were spray painted on the windows of the mission in downtown Ocala, Florida.”

Justin Theroux moves into Jen Aniston’s place
“And she’s introducing him as her boyfriend.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt no longer a contender for Law and Order: SVU role
“Hewitt, 32, was said to have been strongly considered to appear as a semi-replacement for Mariska Hargitay…”

Justin Timberlake defends Britney Spears’ dancing
“In Britney’s defense, if you pulled up a video I did from 2003, I couldn’t do the shit I did then either.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
A behind the scenes look at Emma Watson’s new Vogue photo shoot.

Tony Romo getting married this weekend
“Romo is tying the knot with his fiancée Candice Crawford on Saturday.”

Kara DioGuardi was ‘high as a kite’ after eating pot brownies at Paula Abdul’s house
“I fell out of bed, on the floor … and the ambulance comes, and this guy is like, ‘This b*tch is high as a kite! This b*tch is high as a kite!’”

Ex-WWE star Chyna — I’m getting back into porn
“The DVD is set for release in the near future — and if the title is any indication, Chyna may be riding a wheelchair to the premiere party.”

90210′s Shenae Grimes interning at Teen Vogue
“I was definitely put to work, which is exactly what I had hoped for.”

Arnold & the maid: It wasn’t a one-time thing
“This wasn’t a case of Arnold being unfaithful just once. Far from it.”

Jen Aniston “diving in headfirst” with new man Justin Theroux
“She wants to be with him all the time.”

Amy Winehouse is back in rehab
“She wants to be ready for performances in Europe this summer and decided to seek an assessment.”

Ryan Reynolds isn’t ready to date again
“I don’t think I want to get married again, but you always reevaluate these things.”

Lady Gaga calls New York her ‘husband’ in MTV documentary
“My leather jacket is like my Dorothy slippers.”

Gary Busey’s son: ‘I’m heading to rehab’
“Jake says he’s determined to get himself on a ‘straight path to clean living’”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Fashion model Marloes Horst in a sexy new film for Gravure.