It’s that time of the year where everyone casts a vote for a candidate but, more importantly, casts their support for democracy. But if all the celebrity endorsements and media blitz weren’t enough to make you run out and place a vote for either of the two Presidential candidates, maybe ]]>

It’s that time of the year where everyone casts a vote for a candidate but, more importantly, casts their support for democracy. But if all the celebrity endorsements and media blitz weren’t enough to make you run out and place a vote for either of the two Presidential candidates, maybe these cartoons might make you see the importance of getting out and voting.

South Park
Episode: Douche or Turd
Lesson: Turd sandwiches make viable political candidates; Your vote doesn’t matter

In this pre-2004 Presidential Election episode, South Park Elementary’s mascot, the Cow, has been deemed inappropriate by PETA. So the school decides to elect a new mascot with candidates created by the students. This leads to a campaign being run by a Turd Sandwich and a Giant Douche.

And it featured a call to action from Diddy to Stan to get out and vote.

At the end of the episode, Stan decides to vote for Turd Sandwich. But then, the school opts to just use the Cow mascot again instead of the Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich, meaning Stan’s vote was completely meaningless. Kind of like being someone trying to vote for Al Gore in Florida in 2000.

While I would hate to dispute the credentials of Turd Sandwich, I’d have to question his existence in the first place. A Giant Douche has its uses…after all, women in the WNBA have to be cleaned somehow. But a Turd Sandwich? Why that doesn’t sound delicious at all, sir.

The Simpsons
Episode: Treehouse of Horror VII’s “Citizen Kang”
Lesson: Democracy just doesn’t work, particularly when aliens are involved

Loveable aliens (well, as loveable as someone trying to destroy our planet can be) Kang and Kodos decide that the best way to enslave all Earthlings is by taking over for Presidential candidates Bob Dole and Bill Clinton. Here’s how Kang, in the form of Bob Dole, won votes at a pre-election stump speech.

Unfortunately Kang’s promises of miniature flags never came to fruition as, instead, upon winning the election (yes, Bob Dole won the election…I know, that’s a bit far-fetched even for a cartoon), he opted to enslave all of the Earthlings to build a laser to attack another planet. Which sounds illogical until you realize that it undoubtedly saved us an attack from Neptunian terrorists and their weapons of mass destruction.

Capitol Critters
Episode: “Of Thee I Sting”
Lesson: Even rats find politicians dirty

You may or may not remember Capitol Critters, a cartoon which had a one season run on ABC. The premise was pretty simple: Rats live beneath the White House, hijinx ensue. In this episode, main character Max (an idealistic rat who just moved to Washington) finds himself in a senator’s suitcase. The senator, fresh off of a stirring speech that showed him as a hero to millions, meets with a couple lobbyists. Skip to 3:30 in on this clip to save yourself minutes of cartoon rats being completely f’ing retarded.

My favorite part of the clip? How they’re just emptying stacks of money into a bag casually like that was a totally cool thing to do and the senator is just like, “Sure, pile your UNMARKED money into my bag! No problem!” If you’re going to be a corrupt politician, at least watch a movie or two so you have a vague understanding of how to exchange illicit funds.

Looks like Max just learned an important lesson about how Washington really works. But he didn’t learn a lesson about where to get awesome rat-sized hats and print buttondowns. That lesson he learned a long time ago.

Tiny Toons
Episode: Citizen Max
Lesson: Never cross Buster Bunny

This one was a spoof of Citizen Kane (a never-before-done concept, I’m sure). In a flashback, Montana Max decides to run for student council President as part of his rise to power. But the basic foundation of his campaign was to rid the school of Buster Bunny. Skip to 6:45 in this clip…

It really makes you wish that John McCain and Barack Obama had their debates in a cartoon (I presume through some sort of chicanery like in that movie Stay Tuned…all we’d need is a remote control and a bit of whimsy). There weren’t nearly enough anvils being dropped on someone’s head during their encounters.

Anyway Max rigs the election against Buster Bunny (people didn’t quite gravitate to Max’s Bunny Genocide platform like he’d have hoped) and ends up alone and sad and totally gay for his old bike. Just like William Taft.

Futurama
Episode: A Head in the Polls
Lesson: Our first robot President will win by one vote; The United States is part of the world

For the people living in Futurama, the elections of the year 3000 were (will be?) pretty dull, being contested by two clones named John Jackson and Jack Johnson who offered no real differences in their platforms. However, Fry learns that voting in the future actually can make a difference. Note: Fry’s method of protesting the voting process in the clip below is highly recommended.

Unfortunately neither John Jackson’s policies on taxation were strong enough, leaving Richard Nixon’s head as a runaway winner thanks, primarily, to his appeal to robot voters.

See what happens if you don’t vote? Not only do you end up with Richard Nixon as President, you end up with Richard Nixon as President in an evil robot body. Which I guess is slightly cooler. Especially if you collect Presidential action figures.

Family Guy
Episode: It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One
Lesson: Voters are mostly idiots

Lois ends up running for mayor because of an oil refinery polluting Quahog. But her beliefs quickly become compromised, as illustrated through this Rudy Giuliani-esque performance during a debate against incumbent Mayor Adam West.

Lois ends up winning the mayoral election but finds herself corrupted by the position, misappropriating taxpayer money and accepting bribes. After accepting an expensive fur coat from the oil company she initially took the job to stop, Lois realizes the error of her ways and resigns. Leave it to Family Guy to show the biggest lesson of all when you go to the polls tomorrow: Never trust a woman running for office who’s been given fancy clothes.

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if you liked this, share it via the buttons at the top of the post. You may also like The 11 Dumbest Things Cartoons Have Taught Us and The 6 Creepiest Guys Living in a Sitcom Household. Any cartoons stir your voting loins? Leave them in the comments.

It’s almost Election Day… whoopee… If this video doesn’t inspire you to ROCK THE VOTE! nothing will.

So which is better? Dramatic McCain or the original (remixed) below?

I usually abhor parody videos but these are pretty well made. Check out this collection of political ads for John McCain, “made by” Diablo Cody (Juno), David Lynch (Twin Peaks), and M. Night Shyamalan (Twist Crap parts 1-4).

Nothing really to add here other than the fact that I ]]>

I usually abhor parody videos but these are pretty well made. Check out this collection of political ads for John McCain, “made by” Diablo Cody (Juno), David Lynch (Twin Peaks), and M. Night Shyamalan (Twist Crap parts 1-4).

Nothing really to add here other than the fact that I just thought these were extremely well made and, thus, worth your time. And my train made me like an hour late today so I don’t have time to “think” or “research” a post. DON’T JUDGE ME.

Check out Comedy.com for more well-done funny videos. They’re doing a good job of filtering the crap out for lazy people like you.

Click the links below and your house won’t get egged on Halloween. SugarDVD My Dirty Bookstore PETA BetUS Ashley Madison Celeb Defamer Playboy Mr. Skin ]]>

• SugarDVD
• My Dirty Bookstore
• PETA
• BetUS
• Ashley Madison
• Celeb Defamer
• Playboy
  
• Mr. Skin
  
• YouStrip
• StubHub

Epic Carnival | HOT POA | NSFW POA | Hot Celebrity Asses

So I’m pretty sure John McCain was trying to eat Barack Obama’s brains last night.

I don’t know why people are saying that John McCain doesn’t have all his druthers. Though I’m disappointed in the fact that he hasn’t been entirely candid about what happened to ]]>

So I’m pretty sure John McCain was trying to eat Barack Obama’s brains last night.

I don’t know why people are saying that John McCain doesn’t have all his druthers. Though I’m disappointed in the fact that he hasn’t been entirely candid about what happened to him in Vietnam. Apparently they did experimental drug testing that turned him into a Zombie. Which is cool because we’ve never had one of those and they’re even more rare than black guys!

But just his luck, he’d bite Barack and then we’d have a black zombie Presidential candidate, which is even more of a minority. Poor McCain. All he wants is brains…and tax cuts for the wealthy! Same diff, really.

There’s a good chance that if you read this site, you consider yourself part of the more intelligent side of America (or, at the very least, consider yourself to be better than most people). Well, here’s proof that you are:

Sure, it’s easy to call these McCain-Palin supporters idiots. ]]>

There’s a good chance that if you read this site, you consider yourself part of the more intelligent side of America (or, at the very least, consider yourself to be better than most people). Well, here’s proof that you are:

Sure, it’s easy to call these McCain-Palin supporters idiots. It’s easy to call them mouthbreathers and racists and sheltered white people. It’s easy to call them one mere chromosome away from complete mental retardation. It’s easy.

Oh, I didn’t really have any follow-up for that, I just like things that are easy. That’s why your mom and I are such good friends. OH NOT LIKE THAT! I just meant she’s a great conversationalist.

Amidst news that John McCain was suspending his campaign, he was scheduled to appear on David Letterman’s late night talk show. After he pulled out, citing a need to immediately fly to Washington to get to work, Letterman understood..ish. Until he heard from staffers that McCain wasn’t ]]>

Amidst news that John McCain was suspending his campaign, he was scheduled to appear on David Letterman’s late night talk show. After he pulled out, citing a need to immediately fly to Washington to get to work, Letterman understood..ish. Until he heard from staffers that McCain wasn’t actually on a plane, but rather speaking to Katie Couric. Aaand that’s when he really went on the attack.

Here’s a snippet rundown, via Defamer:

:01 – 3:27: Letterman takes fairly tame shots at McCain mixed with genuine praise for the man’s heroism.

3:27 – 6:34: Dave starts getting testy!

6:35 – 9:11: Fill-in guest Keith Olbermann (haha, amazing choice) is interrupted when Letterman finds out about McCain’s Couric interview, conducted at that very moment down the street. Letterman then plays live footage of McCain getting powdered by a makeup assistant before Couric goes on the air.

Other than the fact that the clip is awesome for showing that Letterman, apparently, still has some teeth, it’s even more hilarious that John McCain has this faux-importance he’s presenting to the country. John McCain is rolling up his sleeves (so long as they don’t go above his shoulders since his arms don’t go that high) and getting to work, folks! Nevermind that there’s nothing really he can do. Nevermind that some of his work helped the Wall Street companies in trouble get to this point. Nevermind that his aides have been taking money to the tune of millions from Freddie Mac…no no. John McCain is getting it done.

I seriously wish my life were so cushy. Granted, I don’t do a lot of “work” in the traditional sense, but it just seems counterintuitive that a man hoping to be a global economic player can already go into hiding without even having won the job. I can’t do that in my job. “Hey Chris, write this up for me, will you?” “I’d love to, but I can’t. I’m suspending my work right now…I need to focus on greater issues.” “Such as?” “Uhhhhh…the economy…sucks…so….I’ll be over here…scratchin’ my balls.”

Hmm. I’ve had worse harebrained schemes.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to make the switch to a politics blog; this is probably the last Palin update for a while (unless she has a sex tape or something in which case, reluctant schwiiiiing). A hilarious image from Palin’s speech last night a the Republican National Convention. Now ]]>

Don’t worry, I’m not going to make the switch to a politics blog; this is probably the last Palin update for a while (unless she has a sex tape or something in which case, reluctant schwiiiiing). A hilarious image from Palin’s speech last night a the Republican National Convention. Now that’s how you teach your child an important lesson about humility, love, and treating a war hero respect. You did know John McCain was a war hero right? I know, it hasn’t been mentioned nearly enough.

“Sure sweetie, it looks big and black, but once you’ve had one, you’ve had ‘em all. Now watch mommy earn her way to the White House!”

[Source]

For the same reason any of us would have picked her. Sarah Palin is a MILF! Just check out Johnny-Mac and his wandering eyes in this clip for further proof…

Those massive chipmunk cheeks and single row of yellow teeth. We don’t know if we can make it to November… Chipmunks are supposed to be cute. J-MAC IS NOT CUTE…

NFL: League implements new code of conduct for fansNFL: Bears say tailgating must end once the game beginsNFL: Favre could be a Buc by WednesdayNFL: Alleged shooter in Pacman case pleads not guiltyMLB: Red Sox ]]>

NFL: League implements new code of conduct for fans
NFL: Bears say tailgating must end once the game begins
NFL: Favre could be a Buc by Wednesday
NFL: Alleged shooter in Pacman case pleads not guilty
MLB: Red Sox fan sues Yankees
CFB: Jimmy Clausen busted playing Beer Olympics
AFFLICTION: Tito Ortiz signs with Affliction
AFFLICTION: Tito and Jenna expecting?
OLYMPICS: U.S. cyclists apologize for wearing masks in Beijing
OLYMPICS: Protesters unveil banners in first Games protest
POLITICS: John McCain volunteers wife for topless contest

on 205th recommends: SCREENJUNK

Some video from last December resurfaced recently, featured this morning on BuzzFeed, in which John McCain says he “hates the bloggers”.

Well that’s disconcerting. If I’m considering voting for someone, I’d prefer that they not be predisposed to hating me before even getting to know me. ]]>

Some video from last December resurfaced recently, featured this morning on BuzzFeed, in which John McCain says he “hates the bloggers”.

Well that’s disconcerting. If I’m considering voting for someone, I’d prefer that they not be predisposed to hating me before even getting to know me. Women already do that. And yes, while making the chloroformings more satisfying, the overall idea of it makes me kind of sad. I expect it from them because they have vaginas, which makes them automatically predisposed for silliness. But not from my senile presidential candidates. Sniff.

Oh…you say he was probably referring to “serious” bloggers, eh? I can be serious. Remember that time I uncovered Watergate? That Woodward cocksucker is always stealing my material.

Republican presidential candidate John McCain is old and kind of senile. So why not mix him together with America’s other favorite senile old man, Grandpa Abe Simpson? Oh Internet…you’re creative.

I don’t really have anything to add to this one other than there are others here ]]>

Republican presidential candidate John McCain is old and kind of senile. So why not mix him together with America’s other favorite senile old man, Grandpa Abe Simpson? Oh Internet…you’re creative.

I don’t really have anything to add to this one other than there are others here (including the Onion Belt…the one I immediately sought out and assume others would too because I am a barometer of taste). I think this adds another interesting dynamic to John McCain’s presidential candidacy insomuchas I may be able to find it vaguely entertaining. Watching Barack Obama prattle on about things changing and seeing Hillary Clinton eat oats and emasculate men would probably grow tiresome after a month. But John McCain is a crazy old man who is ripe for parody. And he may like, crap himself on stage or something, as old people love to do. The possibilities are endless!

[Thanks to the intrepid reader Joe for the tip]