Guyism » Kanye West

Kanye West to perform at Activision’s Call of Duty fan-fest

Matt Hawkins — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 18:23:47 +0000

Translation: time once again for a fading pop culture icon to suck up to a demo with lots of pull, aka video gamers.

So first off, September in Los Angeles is the first CoD fan convention called Call of Duty XP. It costs $150 per person… yeah, I know… which gets you first dibs on Modern Warfare 3 (well, a pre-order at least, since the final game doesn’t land until November), hands on the game’s multiplayer, and other stuff that’s intended to soil a CoD fanboy’s panties (like reenacting moments from the game IRL, whatever that means).

Oh, and to close the whole thing off will be a performance from hip hop’s latest fading star, Kanye West. Sorry, but I think the dude sucks; he’s the main reason why I can’t stand mainstream rap. It’s being advertised as Kanye’s first public performance since the release of Watch the Throne, the album him and Jay-did. I wonder how many folks there will actually gave a rat’s ass? At best 60%, which isn’t horrible per say.

Activision had better hope that they manage to sell enough tickets to the con, cuz if there aren’t enough bodies on the show floor, I can easily see West acting like a huge babies and either storming off the stage or berating the audience. For more information on the event, as well as to secure tickets before they sell out (hey, stranger things have happened), simply check out the homepage.

Celebrity dirt: Kim Kardashian’s star-studded wedding guest list plus more gossip

Douglas Charles — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 14:00:58 +0000

Kim Kardashian’s star-studded wedding guest list
“Will Smith and Jada will be guests, and of course Ryan Seacrest and Eva Longoria.”

Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt divorce exposed in a new tell all book
“Jennifer filed for divorce in 2005 from Pitt because of a confession from him after her many attempts to find out the truth.”

Charlie Sheen: “I think Ashton’s gonna kill it’
“It’ll be nice to know that they get some carryover ratings from people being sorta curious about what happened to their guy.”

“Watch The Throne” hits #1 in 23 countries on iTunes
“With Jay-Z and Kanye, they’re so iconic that it’s not going to make a difference what they decided to do; people are gonna want it.”

New pics from World War Z, Bryan Cranston joins cast
“Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston [will] have a ‘small but flashy’ role in the film.”

Dirty Dancing remake in the works
“High School Musical director Kenny Ortega has announced that he will direct a remake of the classic film, which starred [Patrick] Swayze and Jennifer Grey.”

Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans arrested for violating probation – again
“Evans’ lawyer, Dustin Sullivan, tells RadarOnline.com that Evans tested positive for marijuana and opiates.”

Buy Anna Nicole Smith’s former mansion for $1.75 million
“…the late model and actress’ five-bedroom decked-out abode features a sprawling outdoor deck, pool, and spa that offers panoramic views of Los Angeles.”

Chris Bosh — I didn’t torpedo my ex’s TV career
“Bosh’s ex Allison Mathis claims she had brokered a $250,000 deal with [Basketball Wives] producers to appear on the show — but Bosh threatened to sue if that happened…”

Bravo’s Andy Cohen receives seven figures for memoir
“One thing he won’t call it, he says: Stories Sarah Jessica Told Me.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton, and Adriana Lima behind the scenes for Victoria’s Secret.

Celebrity dirt: Leonardo DiCaprio is the highest paid actor and more gossip of the day

Douglas Charles — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:00:47 +0000

Leonardo DiCaprio tops list of highest paid actors with $77 million
“Johnny Depp — last year’s highest-earning actor — came in at number 2 on the list with $50 million.”

Two And A Half Men premiere to feature Charlie Harper’s funeral
“Charlie’s girlfriends will come back for the occasion, and his house indeed will be put on the market.”

Lindsay Lohan’s inner circle concerned about her partying
“…as someone that is supposed to be in recovery to an addiction to drugs and alcohol, Lindsay shouldn’t be partying until the wee hours of the morning.”

Rep: Ryan Kwanten full-frontal nude photo “is fake”
“The low-resolution shot shows the 34-year-old actor with his pants pulled down…”

Kings of Leon bandmates urging Caleb Followill to enter rehab
“[That's why] they ended up canceling the whole tour… he drinks like a fish.”

Jay-Z shuts down Kanye West feud rumors
“Yes, we get on each other’s nerves, but that’s part of pushing each other. We push each other.”

Doug Hutchison’s 16 year-old bride not ready to be a mom – just yet
“She’s making sure as much as she can at this time that it isn’t happening.”

Halle Berry gets permanent restraining order against obsessed fan
“The obsessed fan — Richard A. Franco — was arrested on July 11 and charged with felony stalking and burglary…”

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie looking to buy mansion in posh London suburb
“Brad is keen to shoot more movies in the UK with his company Plan B Productions and thinks that the mansion in Richmond is the perfect place to live.”

Charlie Sheen footing the bill for Brooke Mueller’s rehab
“Charlie Sheen thinks his way of rehab is the best way — so he’s having his ex-wife Brooke Mueller go through the same treatments he recently did.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Rihanna’s sexy new commercial for her fragrance Reb’l Fleur.

Celebrity dirt: Leighton Meester sues her mom and more of today’s gossip

Douglas Charles — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 14:00:46 +0000

Leighton Meester sues her mom
“Leighton Meester is suing her mother, claiming her mom diverted money Leighton sent to her little brother and used it for plastic surgery, Botox and hair extensions.”

Leighton Meester’s mom: She beat me with a bottle
“According to the countersuit… Leighton attacked her mom with the bottle and was so crazed she had to be pulled off her mom by her little brother.”

Family & friends gather for funeral of Amy Winehouse; singer to be cremated
“Although the service is private, a throng of media can be seen camped outside the cemetery.”

Carrie Underwood, Adam Lambert among highest-paid American Idols
“Earning an estimated $20 million, Underwood, 28, has five Grammy Awards to her name, and in 2010, made her feature film debut in Soul Surfer.”

Dave Chappelle apologizes for ‘bad attitude’ after bizarre comedy set
“Dave Chappelle is apologizing for a bizarre, 53-minute ‘comedy’ set in which he didn’t tell any jokes, stared at the crowd, and constantly checked his text messages on stage.”

Jay-Z, Kanye West announce Watch The Throne release date, tour dates
“It has finally been confirmed that on August 8 Jay-Z and Kanye West will release their highly anticipated joint LP, Watch the Throne, digitally on iTunes.”

Kim K sued Old Navy to protect Sears deal
“…the suit was filed because Sears felt the Old Navy commercial compromised it’s ad campaign for the Kardashian Kollection…”

Lindsay Lohan “could hardly stand” after night of partying, says eyewitness
“She was trying to stabilize herself on the chairs. Then she made it over to the curtains and hung on them.”

Dawn Holland — I need surgery for my Lindsay injury
“Dawn Holland claims she was injured so badly when Lindsay Lohan twisted and pulled her wrist for 8-10 seconds during their Betty Ford confrontation … she needs surgery…”

Jay Cutler was too controlling with Kristin Cavallari, says friend
“Jay Cutler was beyond controlling and didn’t really like Kristin to go out.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Beyonce’s “A Spring Afternoon in Paris” 4 cover shoot.

Celebrity dirt: Kim Kardashian suing Old Navy over look-alike and more gossip of the day

Douglas Charles — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 14:00:37 +0000

Kim Kardashian suing Old Navy
“Kim is filing a lawsuit … claiming they intentionally used a look-alike in an effort to dupe the public into thinking Kim was affiliated with Old Navy.”

Leonardo DiCaprio splits with Blake Lively?
“DiCaprio has allegedly broken up with the Gossip Girl star because his mother didn’t like her.”

Chris Brown — Neighbors says he’s a nightmare
“…the dude is utterly disrespectful, blasting loud music and partying day and night … even racing dogs down the hallways at all hours.”

Ben Affleck gave Jennifer Lopez advice on crumbling marriage
“Guadalupe Lopez, the singer-actress’s mother … sought Affleck’s advice on July 12…”

Britney Spears: My ex-bodyguard’s lying about drugs, farts
“Flores … claims she uses methamphetamines, farts a lot, picks her nose and has terrible hygiene practices.”

Paris Hilton walks out of interview with ABC News
“Dan Harris after he asked her if she’s concerned she’s a has-been, referencing the new wave of socialites, including Kim Kardashian.”

Katy Perry, Adele, Kanye West lead VMA nominees
“The #3 all-time VMA award winner, Eminem, picked up three nominations this time for Best Male Video, Best Direction and Best Cinematography…”

Lindsay Lohan facing new lawsuit — assault & battery
“Lindsay Lohan dished out 8 to 10 seconds of pain when she attacked a Betty Ford employee last year … so says the alleged victim…”

Lindsay Lohan’s new man — Their date night caught on camera
“Lohan, 25, is snapped with Spencer Falls, who plays one half of the Virgin Mobile spoof couple “Sparah.”

Jessica Simpson is NOT pregnant
“All the grief Jessica Simpson gets for her weight may have just gone too far, because the starlet has been forced to announce that she is NOT pregnant…”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of Cassie Ventura’s new Blank magazine photo shoot.

Celebrity dirt: Tracy Morgan apologizes for anti-gay rant and more of today’s gossip

Douglas Charles — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 15:20:11 +0000

Tracy Morgan apologizes for anti-gay rant
“I’m not a hateful person and don’t condone any kind of violence against others.”

Bret Lockett — I never actually met Kim Kardashian
“Although he maintains to have carried on a ‘physical relationship’ with Kim Kardashian, NFL guy Bret Lockett finally admitted … he has never even met her in person.”

Russell Crowe goes on anti-circumcision rant
“Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?”

Kanye West romantically linked to Mary Kate Olsen
“The two were said to be making out at the club and they left together.”

Shia LaBeouf: I’m done with Transformers
“I imagine they’ll reboot it at some point with someone else.”

Tired, wet fans angry with the Black Eyed Peas
“What, Will.I.Am can’t play in the rain? Is Fergie’s hair gonna get wet?”

Nicole Scherzinger tries not to read Cheryl Cole, X Factor headlines
“As for the woman she replaced as a judge, she called Cole ‘a lovely, beautiful girl.’”

Khloe Kardashian defends Kim’s shocking prenup
“Do you know what kind of day and age this is? Everybody needs a prenup.”

Ricki Lake sued for starting house fire
“…Kousayan reportedly spoke with emergency responders who claim that on the scene, Lake essentially admitted to causing the blaze.”

Hugh Hefner’s fiancée, Crystal Harris releases debut song
“My dad was a singer in the UK, and I got my pipes from him.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Legendary supermodel Heidi Klum in a new “Body By Milk” commercial.

Celebrity dirt: Lady Gaga named World’s Most Powerful Celebrity plus more of today’s gossip

Douglas Charles — Thu, 19 May 2011 15:30:12 +0000

Lady Gaga beats Oprah as World’s Most Powerful Celebrity
“Lady Gaga tops our power list not just because of her $90 million in earnings, but also because of her 32 million Facebook fans and 10 million Twitter followers.”

Sugar Ray Leonard: ‘I Was Sexually Abused As A Child’
“I do know that I was in a lot of pain as I chased my dream of winning the gold.”

Maria Shriver & the mistress both carrying Arnold’s baby at same time
“It sounds like the plot of a bad Hollywood comedy.”

Gwyneth Paltrow recommends fans get $18,000 worth of Spring clothes
“The svelte star … calls her sartorial picks ‘great pieces which are versatile enough to wear to the office and during your summer leisure time.’”

Danielle Staub stops stripping, seeks psychological help
“For years I have had the suicide hotline on my cell phone and would like nothing more than to free myself from this constant pressure.”

Kanye West is not dating Kate Upton
“Kate went on her twitter not once but twice to clear things up.”

Olivia Wilde and Salman Rushdie have a friendly dinner
“Rushdie has been linked to a laundry list of long-legged lovelies.”

Tiger Woods’ alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel gets own reality show
The reality show will focus on Uchitel embarking her new career as a private investigator.”

Kirk Cameron — Stephen Hawking is wrong!
“Why should anyone believe Mr. Hawking’s writings if he cannot provide evidence for his unscientific belief that out of nothing, everything came?”

Lauren Conrad, Brody Jenner banned from Kristin Cavallari’s wedding
“The Laguna Beach bred beauty plans to tie the knot with fiance, Jay Cutler, next spring but is already axing former BFs and BFFs from her guest list.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Beyonce’s official music video for her new single “Run the World (Girls).”

10 of the most ridiculous celebrity purchases of all-time

Jeff Wysaski — Tue, 03 May 2011 12:00:13 +0000

Let’s face it: celebrities have way too much money on their hands. So much so, in fact, that many don’t think twice about over-spending on items that no one could ever possibly need. Keep reading to review ten of the most ridiculous celebrity purchases in recent history.

10 Beyonce – $100,000 Pair of Leggings
Hey, I’m all for any product that shows off Beyonce’s booty, but seriously, $100,000 for a single pair of leggings? Crafted by Balenciaga and adorned with gold, Beyonce wore this purchase to the 2007 BET Awards. Most likely, she never wore them again (though, hopefully, she donated them to Goodwill).

9 Suri Cruise – $850 Purse
Most three year-old kids are perfectly happy playing with an empty cardboard box. Not so for Suri Cruise. Back when she was three, her mommy bought her an $850 Salvatore Ferragamo purse. I guess you’ve got to have somewhere to put all those cookies and candy cell phones.

8 Amanda Seyfried – Dead Horse
While in London recently, Amanda Seyfried fell in love with a dead horse. Yep, as it turns out Amanda spotted a three-week old taxidermied pony while across the pond and just had to have it. No word on how much the horse cost, but my guess is she paid way too much for it.

7 Michael Vick – $85,000 Fish Pond
Before Michael Vick was a convicted felon, he spent his money lavishly on a lot of things. One such item was a custom fish pond that cost a whopping $85,000. Maybe all that time trading cigarettes in prison has taught Vick how to better manage his money.

6 Steven Spielberg – $60,000 Sled
Way back in 1982, Steven Spielberg decided to drop $60,000 for the Rosebud sled that was featured in Citizen Kane. Sure, the sled is a piece of cinema history, but there’s plenty of less expensive (and more practical) ways to get to and from the movie studio.

5 Rachel Hunter – $15,000 Doghouse
For model/actress Rachel Hunter, a simple doghouse just won’t do. No, apparently her two puppies need a full-fledged Mediterranean-style mansion in which to lick their balls. The house comes from a company called la petite maison. Purportedly, dog homes from the company go for as much as $50,000.

4 Kanye West – Diamond Teeth
On an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Kanye West informed the world that he went ahead and got a full bottom row of diamond and gold tooth implants. No, it’s not a grill… it’s actual dental implants! When asked why Kanye would do such a thing, he admitted, “I just thought that diamonds were cooler.”

3 Kim Basinger – $20 Million Town
In 1989, shrewd business investor Kim Basinger purchased the town of Braselton, Georgia for a cool $20 million. Her goal was to turn the town into a destination for movie studios. The idea never really took off and Basinger eventually was forced to sell the town. Given this sound purchase, it should come as no surprise that Basinger was eventually forced to file for bankruptcy.

2 Bono – $1,700 Plane Ticket for His Hat
Apparently, Bono’s hat flies better than most of us. Back in 2005, the U2 singer had an urgent need to get his hat from London to Italy. As a result, he decided to spend $1,700 to fly the hat first class.

1 Lady Gaga – $50,000 Machines That Detect Ghosts
I ain’t afraid of no ghost… but Lady Gaga is. Apparently, the flamboyant pop singer believes whole-heartedly that ghosts do exist. Moreover, she believes that they are out to get her. As such, she has invested in electro-magnetic field equipment in order to keep her “safe from spirits” when on the road. The price tag for the equipment is around $50,000.

22 of the cockiest popular songs of all-time

Max Steven Miller — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 12:00:21 +0000

What’s the point in writing a song if you can’t completely brag about yourself to everyone listening to it? There is none. And these artists all seem to know it. This selection of songs is living proof of just how selfish musicians can be. From all styles of music, from the popular songs to the slightly more obscure, from the ones doing it intentionally to the ones who just didn’t realize they were being cocky bastards. Here’s a list of some of the cockiest songs we’ve ever heard.

Disclaimer: 98% of Hip Hop songs are cocky, so we apologize if your favorites didn’t make this list. We encourage you to add yours in the comments section below.

22 California Love – 2Pac feat. Dr. Dre
Cockiest Lyric: Soon as I stepped on the scene, I’m hearin hoochies screamin/Fiendin for money and alcohol/the life of a west side playa where cowards die and it’s all ball

I’m from California. I’ve got the pride too. But I don’t walk around telling the other 49 states about all the hoochies that are screaming for me (and believe me they are). It’s a great place to live, but a little modesty goes a long way.

21 Don’t You Want Me – The Human League
Cockiest Lyric: Now five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet/Success has been so easy for you/But don’t forget it’s me who put you where you are now/And I can put you back down too

It’s like this song was written by Gordon Gekko himself. Puff up your ego all you want, she’s not coming back to you.

20 Gives You Hell – The All American Rejects
Cockiest Lyric: I wake up every evening/With a big smile on my face/And it never feels out of place/And you’re still probably working/At a 9 to 5 pace/I wonder how bad that tastes

There is bowing out of an unsuccessful relationship gracefully, and then there is what The All American Rejects did: rubbing your fame and fortune into your “probably already filled with regret about dumping you” ex’s face via a hit single. It’s a terribly cocky and spiteful thing to do… And we would all do the same exact thing if we could.

19 I Believe I Can Fly – R. Kelly
Cockiest Lyric: I believe I can fly

The original title for this song was “I Believe I Can Have Sex with a Minor on Videotape and Get Away With It”, but R Kelly’s record label thought “I Believe I Can Fly” would make the singer seem a little less full of himself.

18 Hard to Handle – The Black Crowes
Cockiest Lyric: Action speaks louder than words/And I’m a man of great experience/I know you’ve got another man/But I can love you better than him

One thing about guys is that we will always think we are better than the guy you chose to be with and we just need that one opportunity to prove it. When in reality… you’ve probably made the right choice. Still, that didn’t stop The Black Crowes from kicking out this timeless classic on the subject.

17 Number One – Nelly
Cockiest Lyric: Oh if my uncle could see me now/If he could see how many rappers wanna be me now/Straight emulating my style

Look, Nelly. Congratulations on your success. But emulating your style? I don’t think the band-aid on the face look ever ended up catching on. Take it down a notch.

16 My Chick Bad – Ludacris
Cockiest Lyric: My chick bad/My chick hood/My chick do stuff that your chick wish she could

Luda’s song bragging about his girl has ruined every woman in the world for me. Just knowing that I’ll never get a chick as “hood” as his has made me give up entirely.

15 Rebel Yell – Billy Idol
Cockiest Lyric: In the midnight hour/She cried more, more, more

So much for the phrase, “I never kiss and tell”. Billy Idol’s ego gets the best of him in “Rebel Yell” as the chorus lets as know repeatedly how much he made his girl squeal in to the wee hours of the morning.

14 I Me Mine – The Beatles
Cockiest Lyric: I-me-me mine/I-me-me mine/I-me-me mine/I-me-me mine

Three of our favorite words before we learned what sharing was way back in kindergarten. And thanks to George Harrison, we can sing it as adults while we steal Legos that belong to somebody else.

13 It’s Gonna Be Me – N Sync
Cockiest Lyric: You’re just too blind (too blind), too see/But in the end, ya know it’s gonna be me

Men (and I use the term loosely when speaking about the members of N Sync) are too proud to ever admit that they’ve lost. Despite obviously losing the girl, these fellas remain cocky and tell the world that she’ll be back eventually.

12 The World’s Greatest – R. Kelly
Cockiest Lyric: I’m that star up in the sky/ I’m that mountain peak up high/Hey, I made it/I’m the world’s greatest

On the list again, R? If that’s even your real name… I understand being confident and inspirational, but do you think people really want to hear it from a guy who is best known for urinating on children?

11 Piece of Me – Britney Spears
Cockiest Lyric: I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17/Don’t matter if I step on the scene/Or sneak away to the Philippines/They’re still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine

If this was pre-breakdown Britney, I’d say brag away, honey. The fact that she has two kids that are half Kevin Federline means that her right to be cocky is officially revoked.

10 Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don’t – Brand New
Cockiest Lyric: I am heaven sent/Don’t you dare forget/I am all you’ve ever wanted/What all the other boys all promised.

Aside from having one of the greatest titles ever, this song from Long Island-based, Brand New goes on to mock cockiness by being overly-cocky itself. Other highlights: “we are the best at what we do” and “this is the way you wish your voice sounds”.

9 I Wanna Talk About Me – Toby Keith
Cockiest Lyric: I wanna talk about me/Wanna talk about I/Wanna talk about number one

I sympathize with Mr. Keith. We’ve all dated that girl at some point in our lives. But a whole song devoted to wanting to talk about yourself doesn’t make you come off any better than her. Does anyone want to hear Toby Keith sing about himself? Come to think of it… Does anyone want to hear Toby Keith sing?

8 I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson – DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
Cockiest Lyric: I’m rough like a freight train/smooth like ice/And yo Jeff, straight up/I think I can beat Mike Tyson

Scrawny Will Smith (not in his prime) thinks he can take Mike Tyson (in his prime) and actually win. As the song goes, we learn that confidence will only get you so far. Moral of the story: Stop being so cocky or you’ll end up getting the shit kicked out of you.

7 The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn) – Weezer
Cockiest Lyric: I’m the baddest of the bad/I’m the best that you’ve ever had/I’m the tops, I’m the king/All the girls get up when I sing

Hipsters everywhere, pump your fists in the air, as Rivers Cuomo leads his bandmates in this epic six-minute song about being the greatest man that ever lived… in 11 different styles of music, mind you. Who says that just because you wear dorky glasses or sport a pedophile mustache that you can’t be cocky?

6 The Girl is Mine – McCartney/Jackson
Cockiest Lyric: [Paul] I’ve heard it all before, Michael/She told me that I’m her forever lover, you know/Don’t you remember?
[Michael] Well, after loving me, she said she couldn’t love another

Guys are never willing to admit when a girl just isn’t into them. In this duet, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson’s egos do battle over the same girl. Neither one of them believes that it is possible for the girl to be into someone other than themselves. You’re being played, fellas. Get off your high horses and recognize it.

5 The Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston
Cockiest Lyric: I found the greatest love of all/Inside of me

This ballad about learning to love yourself is really quite cocky when you think about it. The absolute greatest love of all belongs to you and only you, Whitney? Truth is, the only way Whitney would find the greatest love inside of her is if she were sleeping with me. How’s that for cocky?

4 I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred
Cockiest Lyric: I’m too sexy for my shirt/too sexy for my shirt/So sexy it hurts

“I’m Too Sexy” is one of those songs that never should have been a success. Just like Rebecca Black’s “Friday” or any song ever written by The Black Eyed Peas. Then again, Fred had a point. How many times have you thrown on a mesh shirt and a giant hoop earring and not felt like the sexiest person on the planet?

3 Without Me – Eminem
Cockiest Lyric: The center of attention, back for the winter/I’m interesting, the best thing since wrestling

Now Eminem doesn’t exactly specify which type of wrestling he’s better than, but if it’s midget wrestling… he couldn’t be more wrong. Nothing beats midget wrestling.

2 Life’s Been Good – Joe Walsh
Cockiest Lyric: I have a mansion forget the price/Ain’t never been there they tell me it’s nice/I live in hotels tear out the walls/I have accountants pay for it all

Joe Walsh’s feel good classic about life being good is really just a giant middle finger to everyone who isn’t a rock star. Try listening to this song from your cubicle on a Tuesday and see how good life’s been to you

1 Power – Kanye
Cockiest Lyric: I’m living in that 21st century/doin’ something mean to it/Do it better then anybody you ever seen do it/Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it/I guess every superhero need his theme music

It might surprise you to learn that Kanye is full of himself. Until “Power”, we were all under the impression that modesty was his best attribute. Thank you for clarifying.

Today in style – March 11th

Gabe Alonso — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:15:45 +0000

The NY Times T Magazine showcases some Spring essentials; Kanye West gets rejected in Paris. TWICE; Three places to shop if you’re at SXSW; Grab some new ties and pocket squares from The Hillside’s Spring collection.

While some of these pieces are bit much even for me, they may be able to give you some ideas of what colors and pieces to wear for Spring. Check them out over at T Magazine.

So, last week was Paris Fashion Week. Obviously, Kanye West was all up in that. Only problem was he forgot RSVP to some shows. Thinking he could just walk into whatever show he wanted to, he tried to get into two shows he hadn’t asked to attend. He got rejected. Twice. And I can’t stop laughing about it.

If you’re going to be at SXSW next week, I equally hate and envy you. It’s all outta love, though. Have many burrs and listen to much music for me. And while you’re there, check out these 3 awesome shops according to GQ.

My good buddy Paul at Dreams of Perfection has some great images from The Hillside’s newest collection. They’re a great men’s accessories brand – ties, pocket squares, etc. Check it out!

This week in celebrity gossip: Glee-ful Olivia

Douglas Charles — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 14:30:48 +0000

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Olivia Munn is now dating that guy from Glee. In other news, that guy from Glee is apparently not gay.

— Mariah Carey’s sister is a hooker. Sort of.

— Christina Aguilera had sex in a bathroom. She should totally hook up with Charlie Sheen and compare career plans.

— Did Pete Wentz have a prescription drug addiction that ultimately led to Ashlee Simpson filing for divorce? Sure, why not.

— Reports indicate that Lindsay Lohan may be looking at six months in jail for her latest escapade. If that actually happens I will run naked down Sunset Boulevard.

— I feel pretty safe in that bet because if THIS didn’t land Chris Brown in jail there’s no way LiLo serves any time.

— WARNING: DO NOT f*ck with Catherine Zeta-Jones.

— At least Lindsay isn’t getting turned away from parties now. What’s that?

— Chad Ochocinco was banging his DWTS partner Cheryl Burke while the two were paired up.

— Speaking of Rihanna, apparently Colin Farrell is the luckiest man on earth at the moment.

— George Clooney says he’s banged too many chicks, smoked too much weed to run for office. Frankly I think those are the reasons he SHOULD run for office.

— Cameron Diaz is a big fan of porn. Just in case you were wondering.

— Alyssa Milano is really pregnant. I just had to see it to believe it.

— Kanye West’s thoughts on abortion are, um, interesting?

— In news of the crazy, Irina Shayk was getting complaints about not having curtains in her apartment. Yes, because who wants to see what Irina Shayk does in the privacy of her home anyway?

— And in terribly sad news, Irina Shayk apparently doesn’t regularly shave her legs. Click at your own peril.

— And finally, Glee’s Brittany and Santana are set to do more lesbian scenes. I may have to watch that show after all.

This week’s sexy video comes to us from Emporio Armani who still thinks Megan Fox is marketable when used properly. And oh boy did they ever use her properly.

50 guys we wish we were in 2010

David "Rek" Lee — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:00:48 +0000

Sometimes the best way to remember a year is through the people who kept things interesting. Guys who showed heart in your favorite sport, wrote your favorite song, or created that Web site that won’t let you get any work done. So here is the Guyism 50, the list of guys who shaped our 2010 for better or for worse.

50 Justin Halpern
There are many different kinds of Twitter users. There are those who talk out loud to themselves about what they’re doing (eating a burrito, doing laundry, reading a book), there are those who share information (unemployment is at a record 10%, Lindsay Lohan is back on drugs, The new TRON movie sucks) and then there is Justin Halpern who shares all the shit his dad says and lands himself a book & TV show deal.

49 Steve Shubin
Don’t recognize the name? Sure. But if you spend time trolling any kind of porn Web site (yep, that covers all of you), you’re sure to recognize his product: the Fleshlight. For those who don’t know, it’s basically a hollowed out flashlight with a skin-like interior for those lonelier nights. Steve’s male sex toy was always an innovation but he really outdid himself this year when he unveiled the Avatar edition. You may never party with the Na’vi but with Fleshlight, you can feel like you’re humping the Unobtanium out of one. Yes, that really just happened.

48 Rob Pattinson/Taylor Lautner
Yes, the Twilight craze took over the lives of our women for the last three years, and as a result, we couldn’t help but feign interest and wait it out like we did with Titanic and Nsync years ago. So what do you do when they announce two more sequels for 2011 and 2012? You honor them on a Web site, show your girlfriend and hope for vampire/werewolf sloppy seconds (See babe? I’m down).

47 Dangermouse
The elusive producer behind some of indie music’s biggest acts (Gnarls Barkley, Gorillaz) recently added two more acts to the list in ’10. He collaborated with The Shins’ lead singer, James Mercer, for the collaborative band Broken Bells and he lent a big hand to The Black Keys’ by producing their hit single “Tighten Up”. Critics have lauded both efforts and it seems he’s perfected that Indie rock sound. The stakes are raised with his next project as he is already moving forward with a new album for legendary rock band U2.

46 Adam Richman
Adam will have a spot on lists like this every year until Man vs. Food gets canceled. On season three, he conquered five-pound strombolis in Montana and seven pounds of seafood in New York. The best part about Adam is that he’s not a “real” competitive eater, just a regular guy with a lot of heart. We just hope it doesn’t explode on him.

45 Dwyane Wade
Sports fan or not, there was no way to escape the f*ckery that was “The Decision”. Even Barack Obama was in LeBron’s ear about where he should go. Judging by the way things panned out, it seems Dwyane Wade had more say in the matter then our president. Not only that, he convinced Bosh to get down early on, assembling a nice little trifecta worthy of the coveted title ring.

44 Andrew Lincoln
Following the success of Mad Men and Breaking Bad, AMC introduced a new kind of drama to their lineup. Based on the comic of the same name, The Walking Dead is another zombie apocalypse series. But thanks to lead man Andrew Lincoln, it’s done surprisingly well. He plays Rick Grimes, a sheriff’s deputy who wakes up to find his neighborhood decimated by the living dead. Later we get to know him dually as moral and quick to administer a righteous ass beating. Now if only Andrea would stop crying about her sister for one second, Lincoln could have carried Walking Dead to a flawless first season. Note to writers: feed her to zombies, thanks.

43 Far East Movement (Kev Nish, Prohgress, J-Splif, and DJ Virman)
For a long time, Asians have been associated with the very much made-up song, “Ring a Ching Chong Chin”. This year, California-based hip-hop group changed all that by becoming the first Asian Americans to chart a mainstream top 10 with the single “Like a G6”. Not only did they move units, they also killed live shows sharing stages with the likes of Jay-z, LMFAO and Lady Gaga. Lastly, as a byproduct of their success, the stereotype ‘all Chinese people look alike’ finally worked in the favor of Asian men everywhere. I personally distributed some dick off the strength of identity theft. Cheers fellas.

42 Chris Colfer
Chris Colfer is one talented dude. Before his breakout role on Fox’s Glee, he had no professional acting experience. After his audition, the show’s producer created the role of Kurt Hummel just for him. Aside from nailing songs, the openly gay actor is an inspiration to teens being bullied for their sexual orientation as he was once in the same position. Next year, he stars in a film he wrote called Struck by Lightning.

41 Antoine Dodson
If you could sum up the year in Internet comedy, it would be “hide ya wife, hide ya kids”. “The Bedroom Intruder” was the most popular Youtube clip after Justin Bieber, and the angry brother went on to do national television, create his own Halloween costume, make enough profit off the auto-tune remix to buy a house, and get his hair done (you had to have noticed how progressively silky his hair got with every television appearance).

40 Jason Schwartzman
Last year, Indie-movie mainstay Jason Schwartzman brought his brand of dry humor to HBO’s Bored to Death. The saga continued with season two, as his character, novelist and Craigslist detective, Jonathan Ames sought out clues for clients and redemption from nobody’s really sure what. We can identify with it though, as we’ve all basked in the darkness of that indescribable feeling we get after consuming too many Doritos, Mountain Dew and Call of Duty.

39 Rick Ross
Parole officer slash rapper Rick Ross thinks he’s a drug dealer. He also made it clear on his single “BMF” that he’s leader of the Black Mafia Family (“I think I’m Big Meech”). Oh yeah, there’s also that song “MC Hammer” isn’t there? Delusions aside, his album Teflon Don contained some of the greatest club anthems this year. He’s also the biggest advocate for man boobs as fashion statement.

38 Zach Galifinakis
Oh Zach, you wonderfully-embittered-comedian-who-finally-made-it, everybody is saying you played yourself this year (literally) over and over again. Still, it’s been a long time coming so your success is much deserved. But if you don’t hire an agent with more selective taste and you fail to wow us in The Hangover 2, we’re turning our backs and shaving the tribute beards off our faces.

37 Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
Hate him or love him, Mike made a lot of power moves this year. After wrapping up another season of fist pumping and lifting his shirt on Jersey Shore, he booked nightclubs, got endorsement money (work out DVD, vitamin line for GNC, Devotion vodka, and Reebok), and competed on Dancing with the Stars. The other cast members received a few things here and there (mostly STD’s), but nobody pimped their situation like The Situation pimped his situation.

36 Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s acting career has matured nicely. He’s done family films like Angels in the Outfield as a kid, the sitcom 3rd Rock From the Sun as a teen, a whole slew of obscure indie films as an older teen, and finally he’s starring in the major blockbusters with the big boys. Inception was Christopher Nolan and Leonardo DiCaprio’s movie but all that anti-gravity stuff he pulled in the elevator scene made him the fan favorite here.

35 Han Han
China’s Han Han is a renaissance man in every sense of the word. He’s a novelist who’s responsible for China’s best selling literary work in the last two decades. He’s a self-produced singer/song-writer. He’s a blogger that commands the largest following in China and quite possibly the world. He’s a publisher that put together the immensely popular Party, a magazine composed of submissions he acquired through an open call on his blog. Lastly, he’s a professional rally driver. He must have heard our Army’s ‘be all you can be’ slogan somewhere and really took it to heart.

34 Adrien Grenier
In season seven, the ‘star’ in bromance-drama Entourage finally lived the Hollywood life we’ve all dreamed about; coke parties, porn star sex, and street brawls with Eminem. When the show’s producers announced the next season would be the last. Grenier swung into action with timely independent film he wrote and directed about paparazzi. Looks like our boy will be sticking around long after they wrap up the show that put him on the map.

33 Isaiah Mustafa
World stages and battlefields are typically where legends are born. But in 2010, the ‘Old Spice guy’ was introduced to the world from a bathroom, then a boat, and finally on horseback. Although he belittled us with his chiseled abs and a brilliant mustache, we couldn’t help wondering if we would feel enraged or slightly honored if our girlfriends actually did hook up with him.

32 Danny McBride
This year, Danny McBride reprised his role as Kenny Powers, the foul-mouthed all-American baseball player he was born to play. In season two of Eastbound and Down, he goes where every man goes to find the answers to life’s problems, Mexico. There, he rediscovers meaning through a fateful encounter with his dad and a fork in the road that shakes him to the core: am I a breast-man or an ass-man? It’s all very philosophical, really.

31 Michael Vick
Three years ago, the former Falcons star quarterback came under fire for animal cruelty. More specifically, dog fighting. He was suspended from the league, lost all of his endorsements, filed for bankruptcy and his team turned its back on him. Nobody could say for sure what the future held except PETA who collectively threw their heads back in an evil witch cackle. They laughed too soon. The Philadelphia Eagles picked up Vick, and in 2010, he played like his life depended on it, looking to carry his team on his back through a deep playoff run.

30 “Joe” of BrosIcingBros.com
If you were a victim of a campus or office Icing, blame ‘Joe’ (full name never released). He certainly didn’t invent the prank war that forces bros to chug a bottle of Smirnoff Ice on bended knee, but he was instrumental in popularizing it. The anonymous site manager created a Web site with user-submitted photos of ‘icings’, particularly the ones done in a creative way. As of now, he’s taken the site down and for the most part, the trend has died. But like the Web site says, “We had a good run bros”.

29 Ty Burrell
If you want to see what dads are like in 2010, look no further than Ty Burrell’s Phil Dunphy on Modern Family. He’s tech savvy, knowledgeable about pop culture, and makes sure to completely defeat his son in basketball, every time.

28 Cee Lo Green
Soul-singer and rapper-extraordinaire must have some feline in his bloodline. Every couple of years, his music sees a revival like none other. This year, he took a big risk and put out a song that should not have seen any light on the charts (titled “F*ck You”); and it paid off. The song has received five Grammy nods and has been covered by William Shatner and Gwyneth Paltrow on Glee. It might be his constant risk-taking, not any cat DNA, that’s keeping him relevant.

27 Dennis Crowley
The co-founder of Foursquare is a true visionary. I mean, who could have suspected people like bragging out loud about where they are and whom they’re with? Okay, so it’s not such a brilliant idea, but he and his partner Alex Rainert thought of it first. One downside of the social networking service: being mayor of Flashdancers doesn’t necessarily mean you get unlimited lap dances.

26 Russell Brand
The UK comedian proved his versatility this year by exploring just about every comic medium. He reprised his role as Aldous Snow in the comedy flick Get Him to the Greek, explored animation as Dr. Nefario in Despicable Me, and released a second book called Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal. Oh, he also did one other thing this year, the busty pop star Katy Perry, as he took her off the market for good in October. Our feelings in his native tongue: Bollocks!

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VIDEO: A grandma reads Kanye West’s tweets

Chris Spags — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 20:30:30 +0000

Kanye West’s new album “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” is getting enough solid reviews to make you forget he’s kind of a lunatic. Fortunately, someone is helping us remember that by making this video of an elderly grandma reading Kanye West’s tweets.

I wish my grandmother lived closer so I could also abuse her generosity and old-lady-ness to make viral videos. Some might say that’s cruelty, but I say it’s not like she won’t forget in two hours anyway. Old people: Nature’s memory erasing thing from “Men in Black.”

Grandma Reads Kanye’s Tweets [Boo Ya Pictures]

This Week in Celebrity Gossip: We got two more back

Douglas Charles — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 15:00:03 +0000

Celebrity gossip you may have missed this week…

— 2010 has been a great year for getting sexy babes back from the douchebags with whom they were co-habitating. First it was Rachel Bilson, and now this week we got both Christina Aguilera and Courteney Cox back. Let’s hope these ladies’ breakups provide us with similar results.

— OH SNAP… IT ALREADY HAS!

— Oh yeah, the babe David Arquette cheated on Courteney with is named Jasmine Waltz. No, really, that’s her name. And get this, she’s been topless on camera. Giggity.

— One more thing on this… It seems that David Arquette is not exactly pleased with Ms. Waltz telling everyone within earshot about how much the two of them had sex.

— Britney Spears may get her own variety show on TV. If that happens, I promise to watch it each and every week. I swear I will.

— Gavin Rossdale had sex with a dude. Gavin Rossdale… the lead singer from Bush…? Gwen Stefani’s husband…? Now, you remember.

— Jenni “J-Woww” Farley made an appearance on TNA Wrestling where she wrestled a “Snooki” lookalike in the ring. Just when you thought wrestling couldn’t get any lower…

— Speaking of TV shows, Hawaii Five-O is now the most DVR’d show in history. I wonder if it has anything to do with scenes like this?

— Jessica Alba’s craziness continues to astound. Now she says she needs a nose job.

— This will shock you. Lindsay Lohan tried to escape from rehab… to get some soda. Seriously.

— Speaking of LiLo, Kanye West… not a big fan.

— And speaking of Kanye West, Brett Favre isn’t the only guy sending naked pics of his schlong to the ladies.

— And since we’re on the subject of rappers, T.I. sure had one hell of an up and down week.

— Remember Toni Braxton? Yeah, well even if you don’t her creditors due, I mean do, since she just filed a $50 million Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Note: this is her SECOND bankruptcy filing. She sure knows how to blow through money, I’ll give her that. That’s talent right there.

— Bill O’Reilly went on The View this week. It went about as awesome as one would expect with two of the ladies actually walking off the stage.

— Taylor Momsen is still classy as ever. Some day her mouth will write a check she can’t cash and I will be there smiling.

— Shia LaBeouf, still a dickhead (with video evidence).

— And finally, in another shocker, Katherine Heigl’s neighbors also hate her (with video evidence).

This weekend’s sexy video comes to us from the fine folks over at IGN (which last I checked was a video game site, who knew they also had hot babes) and features Leianna Kai. As IGN puts it, “Leianna goes Atari 2600 on us with some snug undies you wish your girlfriend had in her arsenal.” I think that pretty much covers it.

Guyism’s NFL 2010 Crystal Ball

Matthew Shepatin — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:00:48 +0000

Our resident football expert Matthew Shepatin, who teamed up with Hall of Fame Jets receiver Don Maynard to recount his days as Joe Namath’s favorite target in You Can’t Catch Sunshine, out today, peers into the future and tells you with absolute certainty what’s going to happen this NFL season. Get your popcorn ready, son.

1. Ben Roethlisberger stars in new black-and-white Nike commercial, featuring his father’s voice from the grave. Creepy part: his dad is still alive.

2. The Chiefs have brought in a new Associate Director of Group Sales. Even if he pans out, I still remain skeptical the Chiefs reach the playoffs this year.

3. The New Orleans Saints bid for a repeat Super Bowl will end abruptly after Plaxico Burress’ gun accidently goes off in Drew Brees’s pants

4. Bill Belichick proves, once and for all, that he can plug any player into his system and be successful, moving the “fat guy” from CBS’ Mike & Molly over to the weak side.

5. Roger Goodell fines Ocho Cinco $25,000 for updating Tumblr in the huddle.

6. Rex Ryan shows the world that he’s not full of hot air. It’s really gross and bloody in there.

7. Michael Vick finally earns redemption after saying one ‘Our Father’ and throwing three Hail Marys.

8. While head coach Lovie Smith’s decision to go with Devin Hester as the Chicago Bears number one receiver was the disaster that fans and the media predicted, nobody saw how it would lead to a solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict.

9. Seattle Seahawks players not sure how to tell new coach Pete Carroll that his Beiber cut “just not working”.

10. New Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb gets his revenge on millions of unappreciative Philadelphia Eagles fans, beaming them all with snowballs.

11. Kanye West hijacks Taylor Swift’s Super Bowl half-time performance to announce that the Pottsville Maroons deserved the 1925 NFL title instead of the Chicago Cardinals. He later apologizes to Swift, offering to produce, write and perform her next ten albums.

12. Spoiler Alert: Tim Tebow. Cylon.

13. With the AFL Wild-Card game on the line, receiver T. J. Houshmandzadeh will make an incredible circus catch, only to be run over by a clown car short of the goal line.

14. To his credit, Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers makes a strong push for the NFL’s Most Valuable Player Award. Still a virgin.

15. Halfway through the season fed-up Bengals fans tell T.O. to go f#@k himself. However, some feel that him doing it on the Dallas Star was uncouth.

16. Over on the 49ers bench, back-up quarterback David Carr accuses back-up kicker Shane Andrus of passing wind. Andrus counter-attacks that, ‘he who smealt it, dealt it’.

17. Good news, Dallas fans: Tony Romo will be in the zone during the playoffs. Bad news: it will be the Auto Zone.

18. The surprising Carolina Panthers battle the New Orleans Saints for a Super Bowl berth in the NFC Championship. Even Panthers fans secretly hope they lose, knowing Saints versus any AFL team will make a far more compelling game.

19. The Raiders passing attack, while improved from a year ago, is still no match for Skynet.

20. New York Giants win Super Bowl. NFL awards the Lombardi trophy to Dallas in order to keep it a respectful distance from Ground Zero.

21. Everybody comments that the Super Bowl commercial starring “Old Spice Guy” was hilarious. It won’t be funny at all.

Kanye West to release a new song every week until Christmas

Shawn Norris — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 16:37:39 +0000

The hip-hop artist will be dropping close to 20 new songs this year as his “Good Fridays” business plan means that every Friday for the rest of the year his fans will get a brand new song. Leave it to Kanye to find a completely new way to market himself and his music.

This doesn’t just sound like he’s going to be dropping songs that he’s rushing out or maybe aren’t good enough to make it onto his next album, this sounds like he’s just going to be releasing his new album one Friday at a time for the rest of the year.

Yeezy said he’s calling his new-music express “G.O.O.D. Fridays” because “y’all know every Friday y’all gone have a new joint from our family. We look at the game completely different now …

With iTunes ruling the roost when it comes to online music sales, this actually doesn’t seem like a bad business model when it comes to selling music. Not only will this idea pretty much be a pioneer in music sales (I’m sure he loves that), it will also give him all sorts of new and unique publicity — publicity that will stay with him until the end of the year.

Who says that Billboard’s album charts are the only way to do things? Obviously iTunes has set up an entirely different system for selling music, so why even release an album anymore? Why not just release singles until you have enough for an entire album or simply use the most popular singles you release to create an album. Cut out all the B-sides and flat tracks and sell a kind of uber album that your fans have a say in. It’s actually quite genius.

It’ll be interesting to see how this all works, but you can guarantee with his Twitter account on full blast and tracks with people like Jay-Z and Drake, half the fun will be trying to guess what song will drop every Friday. I’m sure there will be hints and off-hand remarks every week pertaining to this week’s newest track. That’s more hype and free promotion than he’d get by putting a new album on the shelves on some random Friday. This experiment will be a great barometer for how some artists and musicians will be able market themselves online in the future.

Kanye is his own best hype-man. Who better to sell you Kanye’s music than the man himself? You didn’t think Kanye getting a Twitter account was just a coincidence did you?

Kanye West Promises New Song Every Week Through Christmas [MTV]

This Week in Celebrity Gossip: January Jones got some, and more

Douglas Charles — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:00:12 +0000

>>> Mad Men’s January Jones not only did the walk of shame the other day, she also apparently had a bit of trouble keeping her car off of other cars (she may have been drunk), if you believe the fine men and women of the LAPD, who said, January “was driving a Range Rover … when she allegedly lost control, hit the other cars and caused some major damage. We’re told a witness reported the accident to police and claimed that January fled on foot after saying, ‘I can’t deal with this commotion.’” Yes, I hate it when I cause a commotion and have to deal with the consequences. Such a pain.

>>> Let’s just get our weekly dose of Lilo out of the way right now. As you know Lindsay Lohan got hauled back into court this week because her SCRAM bracelet went off, meaning she consumed alcohol (there is no argument here). And sensing the chance to jump back into the spotlight Lindsay’s mom Dina decided to drop some “truth” on us saying, “[Lindsay] was at the MTV Awards and somebody spilled a drink on her leg, which must have set off the SCRAM bracelet. She has done absolutely nothing wrong and shouldn’t have to wear the bracelet in the first place. She is doing absolutely fine.” Except that doesn’t make any sense.

There is a bright side to this story though: The courts, being the great protectors of society that they are, have decided that if Lindsay just can’t help herself and MUST have a drink, she can. And it will only cost her $10,000 a drink. I put Lindsay’s court date in bankruptcy court somewhere around August 1 of this year.

Oh yeah, one more thing, Lindsay is going to be on Celebrity Apprentice. That should be fun.

>>> Speaking of former teen superstars/train wrecks, Britney Spears is back in the news… for allegedly sexually harassing one of her bodyguards. It really never ends for Brit and Lilo, does it?

>>> And speaking of celebrities who no matter what they do just can’t seem to get themselves into jail, Charlie Sheen, who last week was concerned about not being able to smoke during his incarceration, has managed to delay his lockup even longer thanks to the jail’s administrative officer who thinks Charile shouldn’t be eligible for work release. So now the jailers are even trying to keep him out of jail, or in jail, or something…

>>> Remember Sarah Palin? Well, she’s back in the news for something I thought I would never see. People are now speculating that the former VP candidate has had some re-construction done on her upper floor. Says the folks over at Wonkette, “we can report with confidence that at least two people with experience in having breasts say that Sarah Palin sure looks like she was trotting out some new work at the horse races on Sunday.” Consider this your political update for the year on this site.

>>> In news that surprises no one, because in general people are insane, Kristen Stewart has a stalker. I say people are insane, not because someone is stalking a celebrity, but because they chose her. K-Stew is, of course, taking it very seriously, insisting that no crazy “will keep me from living my own life”. I’m not supposed to root for the stalker here, right?

>>> Remember a week or two ago when I reported that “The Big One” Khloe Kardashian was pregnant with Lamar Odom’s child? Well, it’s not true, proving that indeed there is a God.

>>> Our favorite psycho supermodel, Naomi Campbell, made news again this week, and yeah, it’s pretty much for what you’d figure it was for. Naomi allegedly refused to walk up some stairs because a lift was broken – on a promotional appearance to plug her own perfume, then walked out of the live television show, and now she is being sued. How much would you give to make Naomi work at McDonald’s or as a secretary for a week? There’s a reality show I would watch.

>>> Eva Longoria is being sued by the former managers and co-owners of her restaurant Beso. They basically claim she strongarmed them and accused them of stealing and punching a customer, but, of course, they want their jobs back. It’s Beso, after all!!

>>> I told myself I wouldn’t talk about this, but in an effort to make sure that 100% of the population knows just how truly stupid Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are (98% just won’t do!) here we go… Heidi filed for separation from Spencer. Oh no!! You mean they might have a fake divorce of their fake marriage some day?!! Idiots…

>>> In news that is sure to register not a blip on your excitement meter, one of the “Real Housewives” of something or another is releasing a sex tape. Someone named Danielle Staub is featured in it. Yeah, I have no clue who she is either.

>>> In news that will bring a smile to your face, someone stole Kanye West’s car… his $133,000 Porsche Panamera. But wait, it gets better… He got the car back, but not until someone crashed it into a multimillion-dollar house. See? I told you it would make you smile!

>>> Oh yeah, Lady Gaga went to a Mets game, flipped off the fans, and kissed a chick. Just another day in the life…

Reggie Bush broke up with Kim because of Kanye West

Douglas Charles — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 18:52:08 +0000

Contrary to rumors that Reggie Bush broke up with Kim Kardashian because of Kim’s sex tape (still could have played a part, it sure would if it were me) the latest news is that he broke up with her because she slept with Kanye West. Now that is the ultimate in trophy-blocking.

According to an EXTREMELY RELIABLE insider, Reggie and Kim were on the road to getting married. Reggie even went so far as buying her a ring, and was waiting for the right time and place to pop the question.

Well one day, Reggie was using Kim’s laptop when all of a sudden some IMs came over . . . from Kanye WEST!!!. And Reggie played it cool and answered them like he was Kim. And come to find out that Kanye and Kim were GETTING IT POPPIN for many months – ALL BEHIND REGGIE’S BACK!!

I hope you got all that despite someone’s ALL CAPS button getting jammed along the way. Now we just have to await word on how this affects the marriage of the century between Kanye and Amber Rose.

CONFIRMED!! REGGIE DUMPED KIM CAUSE SHE CHEATED WITH KANYE!! [MediaTakeOut]

The 7 dumbest celebrity lawsuits

A. Isaac — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:41:36 +0000

With news today that Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade over the use of her name in a commercial, we thought we’d take a look back at some of the most ridiculous celebrity lawsuits of all-time.

Tara Reid sues condo for “Dear Tara Reid, come let it all hang out”

A few years back Tara Reid had a rather unfortunate and famous wardrobe malfunction. That’s code for “her breast popped out”. Many found the incident amusing including one condo developer who used an ad that said “Dear Tara Reid, come let it all hang out”. Apparently, Reid wasn’t among those who were amused and responded by saying that the ad “ridiculed” her, implying she was “sexually lewd.” We’re left to question what’s more lewd: the ad itself or her botched plastic surgery.

Evel Knievel vs. Evil Kanyevel

The late Evel Knievel didn’t take too kindly when Kanye West impersonated him in the video “Touch the Sky”. West parodied Knievel’s famed attempt to jump the Snake River Canyon in 1974. Knievel also sued AOL for, get this, “use of the search term ‘Evel Knievel’ returning the infringed music video.” We’re thinking Knievel hit his head one too many times. As for West, he reportedly apologized at Knievel’s funeral by interrupting the eulogist.

Kate Winslet sues Daily Mail for saying she doesn’t exercise

The article was titled, “Should Kate Winslet Win an Oscar for the World’s Most Irritating Actress?” Harmless perhaps but Winslet felt it was out of bounds and nastily written. The article also accused of Winslet of lying about her exercise regimen. For all her troubles Winslet was awarded the huge sum of $40,000. She promptly used it on liposuction the next day.

Carol Burnett vs. ‘Family Guy’

In 2007, Fox’s Family Guy parodied Carol Burnett’s “Charwoman” character in one of their episodes. Burnett sued because they used her infamous ear tug without her permission. Apparently, she wasn’t upset that they portrayed her as a part-time janitor in a porn shop. No word on whether anybody has counter sued “Family Guy” for continually putting out unoriginal material.

Vanna White Flips over Letters lawsuit

Most of you may be too young to remember but there was a time when Vanna White had to — *gasp* — flip the letters on Wheel of Fortune. It was a tough job but somebody had to do it. The Samsung corporation tried to make light of that by having an ad with a robot turning the letters. White sued and won. At the trial, Pat Sajak testified on behalf of White and said “I’d turn the letters myself but I need a stool to reach the top row.”

Dustin Hoffman Is Not a Lady

Dustin Hoffman spent most of the 1982 movie “Tootsie” dressed in woman’s clothing. Fifteen years later, a LA based magazine computer generated Hoffman’s head from the movie on some dresses for a spread called “Grand Illusions”. Hoffman sued and won for $5 million dollars. On a completely unrelated note, Hoffman recently signed a contract to appear in the “To Wong Fu” sequel.

Tila Tequila vs. Shawne Merriman

You may remember Tila Tequila as that gremlin-looking reality TV star no one cares about. Well, last year her and NFL star Shawne Merriman got into it over a sexual encounter gone bad. Tequila sued for physical and emotion distress, Merriman counter sued for defamation of character. Merriman later realized that it was more defaming for him to admit he had sex with a Gremlin. Still awaiting word on whether Tequila is allowed to drink water after midnight.

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Amber Rose wears a body condom, somehow still chilly

Douglas Charles — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:00:39 +0000

Booty model Amber Rose accompanied her idiot boyfriend Kanye West to some Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture event recently sporting what can only be called a sweater/body condom. And despite her best efforts to cover her entire body in the warmth of whatever magical material that thing’s made of she was still a little chilled. In other news, Kanye did not interrupt the event to proclaim he was the greatest at something. Hey, it’s progress. (By the way, anyone else think Kayne’s big head looks Photoshopped on to his body in the photo above? It’s not, but it sure does look that way.)