As noted many times, I can’t stand GameStop, and are therefore adverse to the tricks they use to get people’s money. I.E. pre-order bonuses (and that vitriol is thusly extended to game makers who enable America’s biggest retail answer for video games, by providing them with said extras).

But guess what? After I’m done with work for the day, I’m heading down to GameStop to but $5 down towards a copy of Lollipop Chainsaw for the following…

According to various outlets online, pre-ordering through Amazon will net you the rockabilly outfit that I initially thought was supposed to be Katy Perry, and Best Buy gets you the goth girl garb plus the “Golden Foxy Funk”, which I guess is the attire with the big golden fro.

Whereas GameStop is the one giving everyone Ash from Evil Dead plus thread that makes you looks like someone named Jimmy Urine, from something called Mindless Self Indulgence. Sorry, never heard of them, and you need to be a PowerUp Rewards member to nab the latter.

Sorry GameStop, but I’m not giving you that much of my money. Or, I could just wait to get all the costumes as DLC when they appear eventually. But sorry, I might in fact need hottie Ash on day one!

5 Places Where Society Inexplicably Breaks Down

We have rules. We have a government. Most of us wear pants. But given the right context, we’ll abandon all of society’s rules and live like the crappy, bastard animals we all are. Here are five of those right contexts.

Do It Again — According to Box Office Mojo, the top 9 movies of 2011 were all sequels. Knowing this, here are eight movies that would be perfect for drumming up some of that sweet sequel cash.

Your Attention Please — LSU Cheerleaders sure do enjoy putting their photos in social media outlets. Luckily for us. … Speaking of getting attention on the Internet, nothing does that better than a sexy WAG wearing body paint.

Take Your Pick: Kate, Veronica, or Maryse??

    

Not Worth It — The high-maintenance girl… Yes, she may be hot. But she’s also fussy and can be a real pain in the ass/wallet. Fortunately, these women are not too hard to spot. Here are five signs your girl just be too high maintenance.

They’ve Got Our Support — Lindsay Lohan had to go to court the other day (again). Naturally she forgot to wear a bra. … Speaking of girls who don’t like to wear bras, Vikki Blows, Kitty Lea and Rosie Jones not only don’t like wearing them, sometimes they even forget their shirts. … And since we’re talking bras, Asian model Aki Hoshino would like to show you hers (NSFWish).

Katy Perry Kisses a Fan

It appears that Katy Perry is having no trouble moving on after her failed marriage. If feeling up and audience member then planting a kiss on him is your definition of “having no trouble.”

As you can see, Perry is a big fan of the Sims (enough to record a version of her song “Hot & Cold” in Simlish, and effectively making it 50% more listenable in the process). Well, later this summer will see the release of The Sims 3 Showtime Katy Perry Collector’s Edition. Yes, that’s a real thing.

From Kotaku‘s description, it sounds like The Sims 3, which has been out for ages, but will include Katy Perry-themed items, outfits and crap like, an in-game venue, for you to strut your faux Katy Perry stuff, and a poster. Yay. Unfortunately, there is no mention of the ability to shoot firework from your tits. Oh well.

Selena Gomez won the red carpet...

The American Music Awards took place last night. There were winners (Katy Perry for instance). There were losers (Lady Gaga for example). And most of all, there were sexy celebrity women in fancy dresses including the getting hotter by the day Selena Gomez (wow). This is your rundown. (And I promise, no photos of Christina Aguilera. You’ll thank me.)

The winners:
New Artist of the Year, Pop/Rock: Hot Chelle Rae
New Artist Of The Year, Rap/Hip Hop: Wiz Khalifa
Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
Favorite Soul/R&B Album: Rihanna – Loud
Favorite Country Album: Taylor Swift – Speak Now
Favorite Female Pop Artist: Katy Perry
Favorite Country Band, Duo or Group: Lady Antebellum
Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Artist: Nicki Minaj
Favorite Country Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Pop/Rock Band, Duo or Group: Maroon 5
Favorite Latin Artist: Jennifer Lopez
Favorite Soul/R&B Female Artist: Beyonce
Favorite Pop or Rock Male Artist: Bruno Mars
Artist of the Year: Taylor Swift

Performance/costume of the night had to go to Jennifer Lopez for wearing whatever this was…

And here’s a handful of some of the sexy celebrity women who were on hand (in order below): Julie Bowen, Jennifer Hudson, Sarah Hyland, Heidi Klum, Jenny McCarthy, Vanessa Minnillo, Alanis Morrisette, Jennifer Morrison, Audrina Patridge, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift.

Quick, what color is her hair? Look up...

Katy Perry dyed her hair pink for this new photo shoot for InStyle magazine. See if you notice. Actually you probably will because this is probably the least amount of cleavage we’ve seen from a Katy Perry photo shoot since… ever. This begs the question… wha? (That’s the shocking part, by the way. The lack of cleavage. Sorry.)

You didn't think that wall was going to hold itself up did you?

You might recall that earlier this year Katy Perry posed in a sexy photo shoot for Maxim magazine (and if not, go familiarize yourself). Now some outtakes from that photo shoot have been released. And they are good. I’m still not a big fan of her as an artist, but I’ll always be a big fan of the way she goes about keeping her name out there (hint: rhymes with beavage).

Sex-ay! Just kidding, the real sexy stuff is down below... (sorry)

The MTV Video Music Awards is the one place that if you are looking to see beautiful celebrities, from sexy singers to hot actresses, you might want to add to your must-attend list (Lady Gaga performing as Jo Calderone aside). 2011 at the Nokia theater in Los Angeles was no exception to this rule as you can see below from the number of hot ladies who took time out of their Sunday to get all dolled up for a night of musical performances, awards-presenting, all-around narcissistic self-love, and wondering what in the f*ck Cloris Leachman was doing anywhere near this place.

As I alluded to above, Lady Gaga opened the show by performing her single “Yoü and I” as her male alter-ego Jo Calderone. Seriously, that’s her, I swear.

Here are your 2011 MTV Video Music Award winners…

Best Pregnancy Announcement: Beyonce
Best Video With A Message: Lady Gaga, “Born This Way”
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears, “Till the World Ends”
Best Rock Video: Foo Fighters, “Walk”
Best Collaboration Video: Katy Perry featuring Kanye West, “E.T.”
Best Hip-Hop Video: Nicki Minaj, “Super Bass”
Best Male Video: Justin Bieber, “U Smile” (Who thanked both God AND Jesus.)
Best New Artist: Tyler The Creator, “Yonkers”
Best Female Video: Lady Gaga, “Born This Way”
Video Of The Year: Katy Perry, “Firework”

And here are a few of lovely ladies who were in attendance at this soiree (in order below): Demi Lovato, JoJo, Kelly Rowland, Maria Menounos, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, Zoe Saldana, Katy Perry, Skylar Grey, Beyonce, Katie Holmes, Kim Kardashian (Humphries), and Britney Spears.

Katy Perry ties Michael Jackson singles record
“Perry has the same number of #1 singles from Teenage Dream on the Hot 100 as the late King of Pop did from 1987′s Bad.”

Kendra Wilkinson’s family is target of death threats
“Kendra’s long estranged father, Eric Wilkinson, has been subjected to a campaign of violence and threats for more than five years…”

Marc Anthony “harassing” Jennifer Lopez post-split
“He calls her nonstop, especially when he’s drinking.”

Drew Carey separates clavicle during jog
“Just saw doctor. No surgery needed. No ‘snapping into place.’ Just ice and time…”

Jessica Simpson: I wasn’t drunk at Adele concert!
“That wasn’t drunk swaying. That was professional dancing!”

Gwyneth Paltrow to maid: Find your own ride!
“Gwyneth was mad that the maid showed strangers where she lived.”

American Idol exec responds to Adam Levine’s gripes
“To be frank, I didn’t understand why we’re talking about contestants being gay or not gay.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt opens up about Ben Flajnik
“Rumors are rumors… We did meet, but totally by coincidence.”

Kat Von D’s show, LA Ink, is cancelled
“The network is proud of what the series has accomplished in its four seasons, following Kat Von D’s journey as an artist from Miami to Los Angeles.”

Kat Von D and Jesse James: Their engagement is back on
“I will never stop fighting and striving to hold on to her. Showing her how special she is, and how much I love her.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Summer Glau’s sexy video from her photo shoot for FHM.

I don’t blame you if you were just swaying your hands to that musical triumph.

What he lacks in sounding like Katy Perry, he more than makes up for in possessing a similarly sized pair of breasts.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: How fame destroyed our lives
“I would go back and not have any surgery. It doesn’t help. I got too caught up in Hollywood, being so into myself and my image.”

Jessica Alba: I’ll drop baby weight by “starving myself”
“Jessica Alba will do whatever it takes to get back in shape after she gives birth to baby No. 2 this month.”

Casey Anthony surfaces in Ohio
“Casey was photographed on Sunday — trying to blend in by wearing an Ohio State University baseball cap, a tight-fitting top and glasses as she walked around town.”

Linda Evangelista wants $46,000 in monthly child support
“Salma Hayek’s husband may soon be digging deep into his pockets for child support…”

Ashton Kutcher to play internet billionaire on Two And A Half Men
“Kutcher will play Walden Schmidt, an internet billionaire with a ‘broken heart.’”

Katy Perry sets singles record with “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)”
“Perry … finally snagged the record as the first album from the Billboard Mainstream Top 40 chart to have five #1 singles.”

30 Rock will continue with or without Alec Baldwin
“I can’t imagine doing the show without Alec, but I couldn’t imagine doing [Saturday Night Live] without Chevy [Chase].”

Vanessa Minnillo’s mother: I wasn’t invited to my daughter’s wedding
“In fact, Helen Bondoc had no idea that her gorgeous 30-year-old daughter was even getting married.”

Kendall Jenner, 15, poses for sexy swimwear campaign
“How stunning does she look!?!? I couldn’t be more proud!”

Kendra Wilkinson slams Hugh Hefner’s ex Crystal Harris
“[Crystal] said she wanted to get married and then backstabbed him to that level? That’s like cruel.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
MTV’s Laura Whitmore’s cover shoot for the September issue of FHM.

You can check out more of Laura Whitmore at FHM.com.

Kim Kardashian suing Old Navy
“Kim is filing a lawsuit … claiming they intentionally used a look-alike in an effort to dupe the public into thinking Kim was affiliated with Old Navy.”

Leonardo DiCaprio splits with Blake Lively?
“DiCaprio has allegedly broken up with the Gossip Girl star because his mother didn’t like her.”

Chris Brown — Neighbors says he’s a nightmare
“…the dude is utterly disrespectful, blasting loud music and partying day and night … even racing dogs down the hallways at all hours.”

Ben Affleck gave Jennifer Lopez advice on crumbling marriage
“Guadalupe Lopez, the singer-actress’s mother … sought Affleck’s advice on July 12…”

Britney Spears: My ex-bodyguard’s lying about drugs, farts
“Flores … claims she uses methamphetamines, farts a lot, picks her nose and has terrible hygiene practices.”

Paris Hilton walks out of interview with ABC News
“Dan Harris after he asked her if she’s concerned she’s a has-been, referencing the new wave of socialites, including Kim Kardashian.”

Katy Perry, Adele, Kanye West lead VMA nominees
“The #3 all-time VMA award winner, Eminem, picked up three nominations this time for Best Male Video, Best Direction and Best Cinematography…”

Lindsay Lohan facing new lawsuit — assault & battery
“Lindsay Lohan dished out 8 to 10 seconds of pain when she attacked a Betty Ford employee last year … so says the alleged victim…”

Lindsay Lohan’s new man — Their date night caught on camera
“Lohan, 25, is snapped with Spencer Falls, who plays one half of the Virgin Mobile spoof couple “Sparah.”

Jessica Simpson is NOT pregnant
“All the grief Jessica Simpson gets for her weight may have just gone too far, because the starlet has been forced to announce that she is NOT pregnant…”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of Cassie Ventura’s new Blank magazine photo shoot.

Arnold Schwarzenegger returning to acting post-scandal
“…the former California governor, 63, is confirmed to be appearing in Last Stand, a Western flick.”

Jessica Alba: I’ll never get my pre-baby body back
“My body’s just different. The jeans just sort of zip up differently, and things hang differently.”

Marine asked Mila Kunis out as a bet
“I do feel bad for putting her on the spot, but it’s not like I was going to bump into her on the streets of Musa Qal’eh between now and the ball.”

Justin Bieber urges fans not to text and drive
“We need to change the attitudes in our society toward texting and driving and I am making it one of my personal goals to make this happen.”

Katy Perry follows Lady Gaga in mermaid trend
“There’s been no word on the official purpose of the photo shoot.”

Zooey Deschanel slams writer: I’m not a “snobby cow”
“I am completely and utterly shocked that a professional journalist, whom I have never met, would take a partial quote out of context and use it as the basis for a misguided personal attack.”

Nicki Minaj allegedly attacked in hotel fight
“Minaj was hanging out at the pool at the fancy Palomar Hotel when she got into a very intense verbal spat with an unidentified man she was staying with.”

DMX — Punished for sneaking drugs in prison
“DMX just scored an extended stay in his Arizona prison after the rapper was allegedly caught with drugs behind bars … but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

Jett Travolta Foundation donates thousands to Scientology
“Tax filings for 2010 reveal the breakdown of the charity’s donations.”

Courteney Cox launches a beauty blog
“As the designated home editor for the site, her column focuses on her lifestyle essentials…”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton interviewed at the MLB Celebrity Softball Game.

Lady Gaga sued for $5 million; accused of scamming her own charity
“…a class action lawsuit has been filed against the Poker Face star claiming that she scammed money from the sale of her We Pray For Japan wristbands which should have gone to the victims of the disaster.”

Rihanna facing another “S&M” lawsuit
“Why a worldwide celebrity is not able to afford a creative director, who creates individual concepts and stagings, is incomprehensible for me.”

MTV planning to recast Jersey Shore
“After this group comes back from Italy and shoots season 5 this summer, that will be the end for them.”

Usher wants Pippa Middleton to model his lingerie line
“I don’t think there’s a more beautiful, more stunning, more talked-about woman in the world at the moment.”

Prince slams Glee cover of song “Kiss”
“You can’t go and do your own version of Harry Potter. Do you want to hear somebody else sing ‘Kiss’?”

Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz secretly wed
“The real-life newlyweds play husband and wife in the upcoming Dream House, due in theaters this fall.”

Paulina Rubio — Breastfeeding helped her avoid jail
“Rubio refused to get out of the car, the report states, at one point cursing at the officer in Spanish.”

Lindsay Lohan: All I had to drink was tea!
“Lindsay Lohan is … insisting her dirty test was caused by a fermented tea that contains a TEEEENY amount of alcohol.”

Missy Elliott reveals battle with Graves’ Disease
“The weakness was so bad, Elliott said, that she nearly crashed her car because she couldn’t press down on the brake…”

Supreme Court rules against Anna Nicole Smith estate
“The long, sad, and convoluted saga of Anna Nicole Smith versus the estate of her late husband is over.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of Katy Perry’s Rolling Stone photo shoot.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Katy Perry continues her assault on everything media-related with another photo shoot, this time in Rolling Stone, in which she tries to “shock” us with her sexy hipsterness. I’m sorry I’m not more excited about these. Frankly, her act has grown tired. SO EDGY!! I don’t know why it has for me, because there are certainly other ladies out there I should be tired of as well, but it’s different with Katy. She just annoys the f*ck out of me, rather than turn me on. But I know a lot of you out there adore her act so here we are. Maybe I just need a nap. Anyway, don’t ever say I never did anything for you.

Pippa Middleton and boyfriend, Alex Loudon, split
“Middleton’s newfound celebrity put a strain on the relationship…”

Katy Perry’s new video is heavy on the cameos
“Perry, 26, is woken up post-festivities by Glee’s Darren Criss, serenaded by Kenny G and fantasized about by Criss’s costar Kevin McHale.”

Taylor Momsen flashes her breasts at concert crowd
“…for the girl who’s all about letting her music speak for itself, she makes it hard to let her lyrics trickle through her sensational showmanship.”

Kat Williams arrested after unusual tractor standoff
“…a man who was working at a Palmdale, California home where Williams was staying was driving a tractor on the premises before being pelted with rocks by three women…”

Chris Rock defends Tracy Morgan, then backtracks
“I dont know about you, but I dont want to live in world where Tracy Morgan cant say foul inappropriate s**t.” [sic]

Photog to Lindsay Lohan: You lost, now pay!
“Lindsay Lohan hasn’t paid her settlement in a lawsuit with a photographer…”

Lindsay Lohan’s house arrest house party (photos)
“Lindsay Lohan isn’t letting a little thing like house arrest keep her from having some fun.”

Olivia Wilde calls her dog her “only boyfriend”
“I have to laugh. I’m not dating anyone.”

Legendary saxophonist Clarence Clemons suffers stroke
“Clemons, 69, has had a string of health issues over the past decade, and in 2010, he had both knees replaced and spinal fusion surgery.”

Demi Lovato splits from Wilmer Valderrama, mother goes to rehab
“Now [that] Demi is strong again, her mom could take some time to deal with her own issues.”

Selena Gomez: I was “malnourished” and “exhausted”
“I was low on iron and exhausted.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Candice Swanepoel in a behind the scenes video for Victoria’s Secret tanning product.

That was so obscenely unfunny and uninteresting in every possible way. But she gets away with it due to being eminently boneable and writing songs about being filled with your poison and making out with girls. But realistically, she shouldn’t. If Carnie Wilson did this back in the “Hold On” days, people would have stared at her and possibly thrown overly ripened fruit at her. We should offer no less to Ms. Perry.

Especially because the overalls hide her most notable features. Stick with what brought you to the dance.

Katy Perry As Kathy Beth Terry In ‘Last Friday Night’ Nerd Video (WATCH) [Huffington Post]

Lindsay Lohan gets restraining order — fears sexual assault
“The temporary restraining order was issued against David Cocordan, who Lindsay claims has been harassing and stalking her for 2 years.”

Maria Shriver used to joke that the maid’s child looked like Arnold
“It was if it was so obvious they looked alike, that it was just a coincidence and something to be joked about.”

Scott Weiland reveals he was raped in new memoir
“Weiland recounts that the rapist was a ‘big muscular guy, a high school senior… [who] rode the bus with me every day to school…’”

Rosie Perez to sue over Law & Order: SVU injuries
“She’s still suffering severe pain, numbness of the arms, and she’ll never be the same despite the surgery.”

Lea Michele appears to be difficult to work with
“Lea ‘just kept saying that she hated everything – she was crying and having a fit!’”

Katy Perry miffed over mom’s memoir
“The situation has caused quite a bit of tension.”

Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez to present at Billboard Music Awards
“Rihanna, Jennifer Lopez, the Black Eyed Peas, Taio Cruz, Keith Urban and Lady Antebellum have all been tapped to perform at the show.”

Camille Grammer’s rep: Kids don’t want to live with Kelsey
“The children are at home with Camille where they want to be.”

Director Lars Von Trier banned from Cannes for Nazi comment
“I found out that I was really a Nazi, because my family is German. And that also gave me some pleasure.”

Shauna Sand arrested for domestic violence
“Shana was arrested on a charge of felony domestic violence after cops notice visible marks on her husband, Laurent Homburger.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
An extended promo for Charlie’s Angels starring Minka Kelly, Annie Ilonzeh & Rachael Taylor.

Pippa Middleton’s dirty dancing
“No word on the royal reaction to the revealing photo…”

Jennifer Aniston’s ex-lover breaks silence about their romance
“I just want to set the record straight, she’s not the person people think she is.”

Cheryl Cole named third X Factor judge
“It’s official!”

Katy Perry: Russell Brand has ‘never lied to me’
“I trust him; there’s just a level of trust that we’ve built up.”

Oprah may save the biggest star in the world for her final guest
“It’s one of the best kept secrets in all of entertainment: who will be Oprah Winfrey’s final guest, ever?”

‘The Situation’ lands new project deal with MTV
“Sorrentino isn’t attached to any specific project right now, but expect a pilot to be filmed at some point this year for the network.”

Jesse James proclaims Kat Von D better in bed than Sandra Bullock
“James told [Howard] Stern it’s ’100 percent’ better with Von D.”

Oksana drops domestic violence claim against Mel Gibson
“Mel’s lawyer, Stephen Kolodny and the judge were visibly shocked.”

Kristen Wiig retires two SNL characters
“…the comedienne revealed she’s retiring one-note characters Penelope and Gilly from the late-night show.”

Jim Caviezel says Jesus ruined his career
“Caviezel said he was warned against taking the part by Gibson who warned him he would never work in Hollywood again.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Sara Jean Underwood in bikinis at Brazilian Carnival for G4TV.

My job here on Guyism is to give a rundown of the most notable bitches of the week. From celebs to reality TV stars to unknown females in your local news, no one’s off limits. This week we’ve got a few people who don’t seem to grasp that fame comes at a price, a posterbitch for female stereotypes, and some wedding I hear is happening across the pond.

Cry Baby Bitch of the Week – Susie Castillo
This former Miss USA bitch posted a video on YouTube Wednesday blubbering about being “molested” by a TSA official in Dallas. Apparently she opted out of the full-body scanner and was subject to a patdown by a female employee. Just like the millions of other people who fly every single day. She claims the woman “violated” her, touching her vag four times.

First of all, I’m not sure what this broad’s sex life is like now that she’s post-pageantry, but a little rub down OTP is hardly grounds for a molestation claim. She makes it sound like she was straight up fingerblasted at the baggage claim. Make another video when you at least get to second base and maybe you’ll have my attention. Secondly, she opted for the patdown since she’s a “frequent flyer” and heard that the scanner gives a heavy dose of radiation. Here’s an idea: stop jetting around to C-list events trying to pawn yourself off as a model/actress/TV personality. If you can’t handle a little cancer and the occasional diddling from a woman in uniform, just go ahead and phone it in. I guarantee no one will notice.

Celebrity Bitch of the Week – Katy Perry
K. Perry’s suing an Australian tabloid for publishing a story that claims she was doing Russell dirty and banging her producer Benny Bianco on the side. Suing. For damages to her reputation and “emotions.” Welcome to something we call “the price of fame.” You get paid to stand places, look pretty, and occasionally drop some autotuned vocals on tracks that other people slave over. It can’t all be sunshine and rainbows. Plus tabloids write this kind of shit every single day, and no one really notices. Unless of course you do something to call attention to it, like, I don’t know, file a ridiculous lawsuit. Good luck with it, though. By the time you get compensated for your hardships you’ll probably be able to cash the check in on the divorce lawyer you’ll need after Russell leaves your ass.

Bitch Event of the Week – The Royal Wedding
I’ve done everything I can not to blog a single word about this ridiculous event, but now that we’re in the week of it it’s dominating my Google alerts. Like, normally I’m never at a loss for bitches to mock, but everyone’s so consumed with this royal union bullshit that no one’s doing anything else. And if they are I can’t be bothered to Google that deep.

All I’ll say is this: Boys, if you’re in a relationship, I highly recommend you “take a break” for this weekend. Otherwise you’ll be subject to marathons of Say Yes to the Dress and bitch tears about the beauty of true love. You can either spend these next few days drinking beers and watching playoff hockey, or outlining seating charts for the nuptials you don’t remember agreeing to. Your call.

Stereotypical Bitch of the Week – Anne Tobin
Stereotypes tend to piss people off, but I’ve always said they’ve gotta come from somewhere. Yeah, maybe not all Irish people are drunks, but if the second coming of the potato famine killed them all tomorrow, this Jameson-pouring bitch would be out of a job. Just saying, they’ve gotta be kinda true. And every once in a while a news story comes along that proves them so poetically.

Enter Anne Tobin, a 43-year-old bitch from Vermont who was arrested Thursday for attempting to hit her boyfriend with a truck after a heated argument. I say “attempted” because she ended up taking out another car and a 55-gallon drum instead. Word to the wise: If you’re going to choose a method for your aggravated assault, don’t choose one at which you’re genetically predisposed to fail. Stick to what you know. You don’t see white dudes trying to murder anyone by engaging in dance battles.

Simon Cowell confirms Mariah Carey will take part in The X Factor
“Cowell told radio host Jackie Brown the eight-months-pregnant singer will join the series when it premieres in September — but not in the role fans had expected.”

Simon Cowell ditches British X Factor for Fox show
“ITV told the BBC that Cowell will remain ‘an enormous presence backstage’ on the British version, which has run since 2004.”

Charlie Sheen is down to one goddess
“Bree Olson has officially left the warlock and returned home … again.”

Evan Rachel Wood says she dates men and women
“I’m more kind of like the guy when it comes to girls. I’m the dominant one.”

Rihanna has three secret siblings
“Her father confirmed that the ‘S&M’ singer is also an aunt as well, as one of the sisters she has is the mother of two daughters.”

Nicolas Cage returns to work
“Cage, who the source says is currently ‘in fine shape and ready to work,’ isn’t wasting any time diving into challenging parts of filming.”

Lindsay Lohan wants to cancel hearing because of religion
“She’s set to ask the judge to cancel this Friday’s hearing because it’s Good Friday.”

Gary Busey calls Apprentice teammates backstabbers, idiots (VIDEO)
“When you see Lil John, John Rich and Meat Loaf, you know somewhere there’s three villages missing their idiots.”

Katy Perry adds 8 dates to California Dreams World Tour
“The new stops added to the singer’s tour, from September 7-17, are San Antonio, New Orleans, Louisville, Grand Rapids, Columbus, Indianapolis, Omaha and Tulsa.”

Kara DioGuardi: I was molested, date-raped
“[W]ithin a few hours, he was on top of me, pumping, sweating, and speaking to me in Spanish, not a word of which I could understand.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes video of Aly Michalka, Brenda Song, and Katerina Graham for OP bikinis (pics here).