Paper magazine recently did an interview with Kim Kardashian and her sister Khloe in which they were asked, “Do you think you guys would have become famous without the Internet?” Of course, they didn’t answer the question properly.

Kim: I don’t think so. I think a lot ]]>

Paper magazine recently did an interview with Kim Kardashian and her sister Khloe in which they were asked, “Do you think you guys would have become famous without the Internet?” Of course, they didn’t answer the question properly.

Kim: I don’t think so. I think a lot of our fanbase, and a lot of our connection with people is Internet-based. I think that the Internet has brought on a different kind of celebrity. We are very well aware of who we are, and what our place is. We are so active on Twitter, on our Facebook pages, we are writing back, we are connecting. We enjoy it.

Bzzzzzzz. Wrong answer. Now I don’t what interviewer Mickey Boardman’s specifically meant by that question, but I’d like to take a wild stab. Let’s all take a trip in the wayback machine and recall why it is that Kim Kardashian is famous in the first place. Do you recall? Sex tape anyone? So the correct answer would have been, “Of course not. How else would I have achieved worldwide fame for doing absolutely nothing if it weren’t for letting my boyfriend at the time do ungodly things to me on camera? How would we have distributed it?”

There. Fixed.

Kim also mentions that she doesn’t have a Google Alert on her phone for her name, but *cough* she used to (like less than three months ago). Too bad. I was hoping she’d read this.

Kardashians Dot Kom [Paper]

Now that Khloe Kardashian has full control of Lamar Odom’s life, let’s take a look back at some other powerful couples in sports who may or may not have equal say in their relationship. Roughly translated: one one of them is wearing pants, the other is stark ]]>

Now that Khloe Kardashian has full control of Lamar Odom’s life, let’s take a look back at some other powerful couples in sports who may or may not have equal say in their relationship. Roughly translated: one one of them is wearing pants, the other is stark naked, hiding the family jewels.

7 Gisele Bundchen

Let’s for a moment ignore Gisele’s ridiculous chastising of the Patriots after their recent Super Bowl loss and instead focus on these pictures of Tom Brady. I feel they accurately describe who wears the pants in the relationship.

6 Jackie Christie

Doug Christie steps to the line and points his fist to the sky. His wife, Jackie, made him do it.
Doug Christie has a wedding every year to repeat vows. His wife, Jackie, made him do it.
Doug Christie looks away as women make eye contact with him. His wife, Jackie, made him do it.
Doug Christie starts a porn production company. His wife, Jackie, made him do it.

5 Anna Benson

We could go on and on about former MLB pitcher Kris Benson and his wife. She got him traded, she said she was a bigger attraction in New York than he was, she threatened people with dildos, blah blah blah. The most damning thing about the former stripper is this quote she gave to Howard Stern many years back after being asked what would happen if Kris cheated on her. “I’d f-ck everyone on the Mets.” Drops mic, walks away

4 Masha Lopatova

Despite being married, Masha allows Andrei Kirilenko to sleep with one other woman a year. Let me repeat that. She ALLOWS him to sleep with other women. Some might argue that means they have an open relationship. In reality, Masha is looking out the corner of her eye, checking out every chick he makes contact with. Sitting. Judging. Waiting. As Janet Jackson once eloquently stated….”CONTROL.”

3 Michelle Damon

There are a lot of stories out there about Michelle Damon. Some of them true, some of them untrue. She might be a former stripper, she might have been sleeping with him while he was married and she might have tried to start a fight with players’ wives in Boston. None of that matters. Here’s what you need to know. While Johnny has been toiling in relative obscurity the last few seasons, it’s Michelle who ultimately told him where to sign. No really. She said Detroit wasn’t “cosmopolitan” enough for her and rarely showed up to his games while he played there. A protest of sorts. Not surprisingly, he’s now unemployed.

2 Khloe Kardashian

For all we know, Lamar Odom would have gone on to become a Hall of Famer with several more rings in Los Angeles. Instead he married to Chewbacca and she sucked him into her soul snatching family of wookies. They made a TV show where she openly talked about their sex life and bought a swing that her fat ass broke. Yesterday, the Mavericks outright released him presumably because they didn’t want to deal with her complaints anymore. If you’re starting to feel bad for the man, trust me, you’re not alone.

1 Amalia Tábata Pereira

Jose Tabata is a 23-year-old outfielder for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Allegedly. I say that because the organization has no idea how old he is. That is the least of Tabata’s problems though. His wife, a woman 24 years his senior told him she was pregnant in 2009. She wasn’t. She stole a baby from a grocery store and told him it was theirs. He believed her. Tabata may not be whipped, he might just be plain stupid. Amalia Pereira also kept her three-year prison record from him. Yea, all that for some cougar sex apparently. Say it aint so Jose!

Today, Lamar Odom announced he’s parting ways with the Dallas Mavericks. The marriage between Odom and the team lasted 119 days. That’s just under 4 months and 47 days longer than his sister-in-law’s fake marriage to Kris Humphries.

Here is Odom’s statement on ]]>

Today, Lamar Odom announced he’s parting ways with the Dallas Mavericks. The marriage between Odom and the team lasted 119 days. That’s just under 4 months and 47 days longer than his sister-in-law’s fake marriage to Kris Humphries.

Here is Odom’s statement on the divorce, presumably provided by the PR queen, Kris Jenner.

“The Mavericks and I have mutually agreed that it’s in the best interest of both parties for me to step away from the team,” Odom said in a statement to ESPN.com. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out better for both of us, but I wish the Mavs’ organization, my teammates and Dallas fans nothing but continued success in the defense of their championship.”

It’s sad really. Sad that an athlete as talented as Odom had his manhood ripped out by that beast, Chewbacca and his family of wookies. Of course Odom still has an opportunity to play for another team this year but it will come at a cost. A steep cost at that to the tune of $2.4 million dollars. A number that will surely buy several industrial strength sex swings to support Chewie’s weight.

Kathy Griffin recently tweeted a picture of Kardashian Khaos beach towels. Not only is the entire idea ridiculous, somehow the family managed to look even more awkward when printed on polyester. While she isn’t exactly a looker herself, Griffin is right to mock these atrocities. Because she’s ]]>

Kathy Griffin recently tweeted a picture of Kardashian Khaos beach towels. Not only is the entire idea ridiculous, somehow the family managed to look even more awkward when printed on polyester. While she isn’t exactly a looker herself, Griffin is right to mock these atrocities. Because she’s a comedian though, everyone took the opportunity to make their best attempt at impressing a professional. Let’s see if any of them succeeded.

15

@kathygriffin sister girl, can we kill them off already?

— fuck it (@Joe_cueto) March 19, 2012

14

@kathygriffin i just threw up in my mouth a little

— BPerry (@beck1316) March 19, 2012

13

@kathygriffin new merch idea: Kathy beach towels!! 5models, front view rear view toplessbottomless or both! I’ll take three of each please

— john saletel (@johnsaletel) March 20, 2012

12

@kathygriffin It’s unbelievable, isn’t it? It’s like a god damned world domination plan. I can’t take much more of it.

— Brynne-Eva Zeff (@NickysAngelBaby) March 19, 2012

11

@kathygriffin OMG! They have their very own spooge rags!

— doug wemple (@dudleydew) March 19, 2012

10

@kathygriffin you mean bitch towels.

— Peter Spyro (@peterspyro) March 19, 2012

9

@kathygriffin those whore still want people to pay to lay on them

— Peter J Likus (@LikusPJ) March 19, 2012

8

@kathygriffin Next they’ll have their own line of enemas.

— Brianne Sharpe (@BrianneSharpe) March 19, 2012

7

@kathygriffin there’s a really mean joke about them being used to having balls rubbed on them in there somewhere…

— Chris Haigh (@Higher_Boy) March 19, 2012

6

@kathygriffin They ain’t got nothing on you. I’ve seen your pics on the web. I’m looking at one now! It’s so awkward typing with one hand!

— Dennis Murdock (@DennisInOttawa) March 19, 2012

5

@kathygriffin does the back of the towel have an ass shot?

— mclaw (@mclaw7) March 19, 2012

4

@kathygriffin When r u gonna b on a towel? B/c I would never buy those whore rags in the pic.

— Daniel Edenrow (@DanielEdenrow) March 19, 2012

3

@kathygriffin Wow…I mean, Who doesn’t want to sit on the face of a Kardashian?

— Irene (@daysleeper_025) March 19, 2012

2

@kathygriffin Oh Look, Kardashiwhores.

— Alicia Kelly (@aliciakelly966) March 19, 2012

1

@kathygriffin Do they smell like fish?

— Jeff Trout (@irace1) March 19, 2012

Khloe Kardashian and boy toy Lamar Odom may not be ready to call Dallas their full-time residence just yet. A month after being traded to the Mavericks, the happy couple is calling this spacious Dallas condo their temporary home. The condo boasts ]]>

Oh yes, the condo also has an extra bedroom, presumably for the numerous late-night sex romps of frequent visitor and big sis Kim Kardashian. She may not have a man right now, but give her a few months, and some athlete with an affinity for roomy hips will court the lovely lass.

All in all, the price tag for the condo isn’t much—$7500 a month. A mere pittance for a family who have profited greatly from the stupidity of American viewership.

When thinking about Khloe Kardashian, as I’m sure well often do, there are many things that come to mind. The downfall of American society, unnecessary usage of the letter K and, of course, black dudes. So this segue from the CW’s Dallas affiliate from a story about Khloe coming to ]]>

When thinking about Khloe Kardashian, as I’m sure well often do, there are many things that come to mind. The downfall of American society, unnecessary usage of the letter K and, of course, black dudes. So this segue from the CW’s Dallas affiliate from a story about Khloe coming to town to the love of rich, dark chocolate leaves a little to be desired.

Yesterday I asked if there was any chance that the Kardashians watched the dead-on hilarious skit about them on Saturday Night Live over the weekend and realized that it truly showed just how badly they were viewed by rest of the world. My answer was: Doubtful. I was ]]>

Yesterday I asked if there was any chance that the Kardashians watched the dead-on hilarious skit about them on Saturday Night Live over the weekend and realized that it truly showed just how badly they were viewed by rest of the world. My answer was: Doubtful. I was correct.

Honestly, I wondered if the way they were utterly destroyed by the cast of SNL might force them to actually take a step back and self-evaluate. I mean, how could it not? Boy, was I way off.

“Ha! I just saw the SNL skit they did and I could not stop laughing,” Khloe, 27, tweeted Sunday. “It’s SNL. They are supposed to make fun. It’s not who we are and I know that.”

Kourtney, 32, was so impressed with Wiig’s impression of Jenner that she “peed” herself. “It was classic,” she tweeted.

Echoed Khloe: “She was the best one!”

Their reaction doesn’t shock me. What shocks me is that it wasn’t a well thought out, elaborately planned public relations response, but it was truly these women’s reactions at the very moments the TV show aired. In other words, they 100% truly have zero clue whatsoever how ridiculously they are perceived by the rest of the world. I guess that really shouldn’t shock me either.

What Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian Thought of Saturday Night Live Sketch [Us]

If you’re interested in the life of the fat, ugly sister of a sex tape star and a somewhat above average basketball player, you’re in luck. Someone had the radical idea of giving Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom a TV show. As if their appearances on “Keeping up with the ]]>

If you’re interested in the life of the fat, ugly sister of a sex tape star and a somewhat above average basketball player, you’re in luck. Someone had the radical idea of giving Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom a TV show. As if their appearances on “Keeping up with the Kardashians” weren’t enough, now we can get a whole half-hour of Khloe and Lamar love all to ourselves.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact the Kardashians are as popular as they are. Outside of Kim’s butt and breasts, there is not a single redeeming quality to any of them. Now, in fairness, Kim can cover up a lot of flaws for the rest of the family, especially when it involves her bending over or for that matter, getting bent over. But two TV shows for the same dysfunctional family? Nah, I’d rather watch re-runs of “Golden Girls” and fap to the thought of the salacious orgies those four were having behind closed doors.

Yesterday we saw how Kim Kardashian goes about getting our attention (hint: loads of cleavage). Today we see how her bodyguard, I mean sister, Khloe does it: By wearing odd clothes, including a mask that looks like it fell out of Mick Foley’s closet, for YRB ]]>

One order of nightmare fuel coming right up!

Yesterday we saw how Kim Kardashian goes about getting our attention (hint: loads of cleavage). Today we see how her bodyguard, I mean sister, Khloe does it: By wearing odd clothes, including a mask that looks like it fell out of Mick Foley’s closet, for YRB magazine. So I must ask those few of you who actually read what I write here between the photos, is this hot? Because as hard as I try, I’m just not seeing it.

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