Somewhere, Kim Jong-Il is looking on proudly. Particularly because their performance required no electricity or food of any substance. Ghost Kim Jong-Il gotta get his, too.

Truly a hero for all the Chinese-y countries.

Andy Richter’s Obituary For Kim Jong-Il [Buzzfeed]

I’m just glad they were able to crop out what was undoubtedly several thousand guns pointed to the backs of the heads of all the people crying in this video. It’s amazing how far digital video editing technology has come.

Either way, now that we’ve lost the “Dear Leader,” hopefully there will be more bags of rice and 1970s technology for all in the DPRK! Wipe those tears and celebrate good times, people!

North Korea had not played in a World Cup since 1966. This was one of those times where “just making it” should have been reward enough. But not for Kim Jong-il and his band of happy-go-lucky tyrants.

Not only was the entire team publicly embarrassed in front of 400 people but the coach was booted from the Workers party and forced to become a builder. Apparently, construction workers aren’t held in high regard in the DPRK.

The players were subjected to a “grand debate” on July 2 because they failed in their “ideological struggle” to succeed in South Africa, Radio Free Asia and South Korean media reported.

The team’s coach, Kim Jong-hun, was reportedly forced to become a builder and has been expelled from the Workers’ Party of Korea.
The coach was punished for “betraying” Kim Jong-un – one of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il’s sons and heir apparent.

The team certainly didn’t help their cause by getting jail sex’d 7-0 against Portugal in the first live televised sport in the country’s history. I’m guessing they now regret that late goal they scored against Brasil that gave fans hope. Maybe then, their coach would have only been demoted to bricklayer instead of construction worker.

Kim Jong-il: the life and times of the leader of North Korea [Telegraph]

The parents of an American missionary from Tucson, who went missing on Christmas Day and may be in North Korea, said they are hoping for good news about their son, who reportedly crossed illegally into the communist country on Friday and may have been arrested.

The parents of Robert Park, 28, moved from Arizona to Encinitas four years ago, they said in an interview Sunday night. His father Pyong Park, 68, said the family has been praying and hoping for the best, though they fear he was likely taken prisoner by North Korean authorities after crossing into the country from China over the frozen Tumen River on Christmas Day.

“We have to just patiently wait,” said Park, who had just returned from a church service in San Marcos to pray for his son’s safe return. “Wait and see and hope for the best.”

Park said his son did not advise him of his plans, but he did send him and his wife an e-mail Dec. 23 saying that “some great things are going to happen” and that he loved them.

[Sign on San Diego]

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