Guyism » Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is also the hottest woman in the world

Douglas Charles — Wed, 23 May 2012 13:00:39 +0000

By now you know about Maxim picking Bar Refaeli for their top spot on their Hot 100. But did you know that ZOO magazine also picked a hottest woman in the world? And it’s Kim Kardashian? No, really. That’s who they picked. A magazine that showcases one sexy woman after another almost completely naked in every photo so you know they’re hot picked Kim Kardashian.

(This is me sitting here with my mouth agape.)

I can’t seem to find any details on this contest on their Web site, just them wanting us to buy the magazine. Which is too bad because I would REEEALLY like to know the logic behind this selection.

So now Americans have chosen Bar Refaeli as the hottest women in the world and the Brits have picked Tulisa and KimKSuperstar. No wonder we started a new country.

50 photos of people with bad tans

A. Isaac — Mon, 21 May 2012 12:00:09 +0000

With Memorial Day on the horizon and with the media bonanza of tanning mom Patricia Krentcil, let these photos serve as a scary reminder of what too much sun can do to you. You’re not attractive with your leather skin, you don’t look hot as an Oompa Loompa and you certainly won’t win any beauty contests with those nasty tan lines.

Again, if you see this woman at a tanning salon with a child, call your local police. Also ma’am, I find your blackface racist.

Anne Hathaway’s next superhero character?

In fairness, he played a critical part in Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” music video.

I believe they call this color Tangerine.

You look like a burnt haggis

That’s a fancy leather jacket you have there ma’am.

I’ve heard of red ass before but I thought it had a whole other meaning.

Don’t let that sunburn slow down your anorexia.

Oompa loompa doopity dee, if you are wise you’ll get some sunscreen.

But you look so hot with your tanned duck face.

That’s not a sunburn, that’s just an allergic reaction to sperm.

This is fake right?

Indeed sir, you suck.

This pilot whale got far too much sun.

Apparently, Valentino did not design low-brimmed hats to shield UV rays.

I really like your granny panties

Again with the black face?

I prefer leopard print bras but I guess this will work.

Ah, the Jersey Shore.

Best tan lines ever?

We just can’t get enough of Patricia Krentcil.

You won’t be getting much sun in jail

Is that a European man bag or a purse?

Kim, you should go to a dermatologist. While you’re at it, get your vagina swabbed for STDs.

You just had a child so I’ll refrain from telling any jokes until you’re done bleeding.

Kim Kardashian’s IMDB profile got rewritten, awesomely

Douglas Charles — Tue, 15 May 2012 15:00:23 +0000

Someone out there named John C. Hopwood really doesn’t like Kim Kardashian (wonder why?) so he went in and basically took a blowtorch to her IMDB profile.

Since I know you can’t read that, here’s what it had to say…

Kim Kardashian is emblematic of the shallowness of American culture in the first two decades of the new millennium. While some cultural critics call her the prime avatar of the “famous for being famous” faux celebrity crowd, she along with Paris Hilton is a new breed of cat whose celebrity comes from the release of a sex tape and the canny exploitation of the resulting publicity. Like her good friend Miss Hilton (their relationship predates Kim’s “celebrity”, Kardashian is possessed of photogenic good looks but is short of any other discernible talents outside of the bedroom. Both expanded their celebrity by becoming reality TV “stars”.

Porn pioneer Harry Reems has commented how surprised he is at how porn stars like Jenna Jameson are accepted now in mainstream culture. His life was ruined by his participation in porn in its “Golden Years”. As for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, the release (accidental or not-so-accidental) of boudoir tapes didn’t result in shame but celebration. America like ancient Rome seems to have shuffled off the moral coil of virtue of the Republic and is now enjoying its Imperial self in an orgy of ignominy. It’s always more fun on the toboggan ride down the hill than it was schlepping up it in the first place.

The backlash against Kardashian has been ugly. Commenting on Kim and her family, the stars of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (2007), English actor Daniel Craig told “GQ” magazine, “You see that and you think, ‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a [expletive] idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?’”

_Madmen (2007)_ star ‘Jon Hamm’ was even more direct, saying in an “Elle” magazine interview, “Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. ” He went on to say, “Being a [expletive] idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture. You’re rewarded significantly.”

In the wake of Kim and her family members signing a new four-year $40 million deal for their show, Jonah Hill joined in on the pile-up, saying that, “The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like ‘Mad Men’ is disgusting.”

In the decadence that is America of the $15-trillion deficit and no serious plans from either party for a solution to the economic problems of the “Great Recession”, Kim Kardashian is welcomed to her second White House Correspondents Association Dinner in Washington, D.C. in 2012 and made fun of not only by host Jimmy Kimmel but by the President of the United States, Barack Obama, himself and laughs merrily at the merriment. That the women’s fame rests on the February 2007 “leaking” of a four-year-old home sex (for which she ultimately received $5 million from Vivid Entertainment) is an apt metaphor for socio-economic-cultural malaise in Washington and the country beyond, where everything seems to be run by amoral prostitutes in bed with each other and merely out for a buck.

I think the most interesting part of of all of this rambling is that there really isn’t a whole lot here that could be construed as being false.

Unfortunately, it’ll all be erased soon enough. Let’s just hope they keep Kim K Superstar as her breakout film role in the movie credits.

Kim Kardashian sex tape as seen by three old ladies

A. Isaac — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:34:01 +0000

Listen, I hate Kim Kardashian. The mere mention of her name makes me want to club a baby seal. That being said, I enjoy when others laugh at her expense. Whether it’s because of her cartoonish caboose, her stupidity on Twitter or the sex tape.

It’s the latter here which drew the attention of three old ladies, who, by all accounts had never seen a woman bent over and treated so roughly. Judging from their comments, they were strictly missionary with the occasional cowgirl.

How’s that for a mental image?

This just in: Kim Kardashian wouldn’t be famous without the Internet

Douglas Charles — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:17:26 +0000

Paper magazine recently did an interview with Kim Kardashian and her sister Khloe in which they were asked, “Do you think you guys would have become famous without the Internet?” Of course, they didn’t answer the question properly.

Kim: I don’t think so. I think a lot of our fanbase, and a lot of our connection with people is Internet-based. I think that the Internet has brought on a different kind of celebrity. We are very well aware of who we are, and what our place is. We are so active on Twitter, on our Facebook pages, we are writing back, we are connecting. We enjoy it.

Bzzzzzzz. Wrong answer. Now I don’t what interviewer Mickey Boardman’s specifically meant by that question, but I’d like to take a wild stab. Let’s all take a trip in the wayback machine and recall why it is that Kim Kardashian is famous in the first place. Do you recall? Sex tape anyone? So the correct answer would have been, “Of course not. How else would I have achieved worldwide fame for doing absolutely nothing if it weren’t for letting my boyfriend at the time do ungodly things to me on camera? How would we have distributed it?”

There. Fixed.

Kim also mentions that she doesn’t have a Google Alert on her phone for her name, but *cough* she used to (like less than three months ago). Too bad. I was hoping she’d read this.

Kardashians Dot Kom [Paper]

The Guyism Speed Round for April 9

Chris Spags — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:41:31 +0000

In today’s Guyism Speed Round, Katie Nolan discusses Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s relationship, the newest Barbie to hit the market, and more.

Subscribe on YouTube (you only need a Google account) to see the day’s hidden video.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are dating, blah, blah, blah…

Douglas Charles — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 16:02:10 +0000

So Kim Kardashian is supposedly dating Kanye West and anyone with half a brain should give zero sh-ts about that, right? Right?! The only reason I bring this to your attention at all is so I can share these two screencaps from Kim’s appearance on the Today Show earlier this morning. I do believe that they are ripe for captioning, don’t you? Ready… Set… Go!

I will share one takeaway from her interview on the Today Show that intrigued me. When asked if her marriage was a publicly stunt to help her TV show, she called it “ridiculous” and said, “Why would I marry someone for ratings?”

Okay, maybe “intrigued me” was the wrong choice of words. Sickened? Dumbfounded?

The 10 most overexposed celebrities

Douglas Charles — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 17:20:51 +0000

Forbes just released their list of the most overexposed celebrities. Many on the list made perfect sense, a few, though, I would replace with someone else. Someone more “deserving.”

Their list was compiled by E-Poll Research, of Encino, Calif., which ranks more than 6,600 celebrities based on 46 factors. Very scientific. However, I thought that rather just show you their top 10 I’d come up with my own list off the top of my head (very unscientific) and see how they compare. Let me know which list you agree with more.

10 Katy Perry

Forbes #10: Khloe Kardashian. Khloe makes sense, as you will see, but between Katy Perry’s marriage, divorce, ever-changing hair color, and middling musical ability I don’t quite get what all the fuss over her is about.

9 Justin Bieber

Forbes #9: Levi Johnston. Levi Johnston is overexposed? Does anyone even remember him? Well, he did do that Playgirl spread, so maybe that’s what they’re talking about. As for The Biebs, let’s just say we’re not all fans.

8 Tim Tebow

Forbes #8: Kourtney Kardashian. Kourtney’s actually the least annoying of the three sisters. And though not totally his fault, no below average quarterback should be getting as much attention as Tim Tebow.

7 Lady Gaga

Forbes #7: The Situaton. A year ago Lady Gaga would have been higher on my list, but she seems to have taken things down a notch lately. Hopefully for good.

6 The Situaton

Forbes #6: Kate Gosselin. Did anyone even care that The Situaton went to rehab recently? Anyone?

5 Khloe Kardashian

Forbes #5: Paris Hilton. How is Paris Hilton overexposed? No one even knows she exists anymore. On the other hand, the last day we see Khloe Kardashian will be a great day.

4 Kate Gosselin

Forbes #4: Nadya Suleman. Suleman’s recent foray into nudity aside, has she really been in the public eye much lately? As for Kate Gosselin, I thought this woman’s show got canceled. So why is she still being talked about? At all?

3 Lindsay Lohan

Forbes #3: Snooki. Never before has anyone gotten as much attention as Lindsay Lohan for basically doing nothing more than being a pain in the ass to society.

2 Snooki

Forbes #2: Lindsay Lohan. Grrrreat. Snooki’s pregnant. Giving the world one more reason to talk about perhaps the least talented person on TV. (Her main competition for that title, by the way, would be her castmates.)

1 Kim Kardashian

Forbes #1: Kim Kardashian. In the dictionary under the word “overexposed” is a picture of Kim Kardashian. And she probably got paid for her photo to appear there.

Kim Kardashian was flour bombed last night

Douglas Charles — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 14:31:48 +0000

Last night Kim Kardashian was flour bombed by a “crazed fan” at the launch of her new perfume. I put “crazed fan” in quotes because this is just the type of thing that the Kardashians would do to get us all talking about Kim and her perfume today. Because otherwise, you know, no one would give a rat’s ass. Of course Kim isn’t going to press charges, because then we’d all find out the reasons behind the “attack.”

Quote of the night goes to Khloe Kardashian on Twitter who said, “I wish I was with my sister tonight. I bet you that woman wouldn’t have dared tried a thing.” That’s true, because who would attack someone flanked by a middle linebacker in heels?

Kathy Griffin tweets about Kardashian Khaos towels – attempted hilarity ensues

Colin Joliat — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:59:23 +0000

Kathy Griffin recently tweeted a picture of Kardashian Khaos beach towels. Not only is the entire idea ridiculous, somehow the family managed to look even more awkward when printed on polyester. While she isn’t exactly a looker herself, Griffin is right to mock these atrocities. Because she’s a comedian though, everyone took the opportunity to make their best attempt at impressing a professional. Let’s see if any of them succeeded.

@kathygriffin sister girl, can we kill them off already?

— fuck it (@Joe_cueto) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin i just threw up in my mouth a little

— BPerry (@beck1316) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin new merch idea: Kathy beach towels!! 5models, front view rear view toplessbottomless or both! I’ll take three of each please

— john saletel (@johnsaletel) March 20, 2012

@kathygriffin It’s unbelievable, isn’t it? It’s like a god damned world domination plan. I can’t take much more of it.

— Brynne-Eva Zeff (@NickysAngelBaby) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin OMG! They have their very own spooge rags!

— doug wemple (@dudleydew) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin you mean bitch towels.

— Peter Spyro (@peterspyro) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin those whore still want people to pay to lay on them

— Peter J Likus (@LikusPJ) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Next they’ll have their own line of enemas.

— Brianne Sharpe (@BrianneSharpe) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin there’s a really mean joke about them being used to having balls rubbed on them in there somewhere…

— Chris Haigh (@Higher_Boy) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin They ain’t got nothing on you. I’ve seen your pics on the web. I’m looking at one now! It’s so awkward typing with one hand!

— Dennis Murdock (@DennisInOttawa) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin does the back of the towel have an ass shot?

— mclaw (@mclaw7) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin When r u gonna b on a towel? B/c I would never buy those whore rags in the pic.

— Daniel Edenrow (@DanielEdenrow) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Wow…I mean, Who doesn’t want to sit on the face of a Kardashian?

— Irene (@daysleeper_025) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Oh Look, Kardashiwhores.

— Alicia Kelly (@aliciakelly966) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Do they smell like fish?

— Jeff Trout (@irace1) March 19, 2012

The Guyism Speed Round for 3/14

Chris Spags — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:30:14 +0000

In today’s Guyism Speed Round, Katie Nolan discusses Sasha Grey’s return to the internet, a study that claims bacon is killing you, and more.

Send Katie emails for Viewer Email Friday at guyismspeedround@gmail.com.

Jon Hamm on Kim Kardashian: She’s a ‘f**king idiot’

Chris Spags — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 17:00:32 +0000

There are a lot of reasons out there for men and women to enjoy Jon Hamm. He’s seemingly pretty down-to-Earth, entertaining, and he plays one of TV’s greatest characters. Here’s another: He trashed Kim Kardashian in Elle UK.

The quotes, from the April issue of the magazine, also bear a striking resemblance to quotes Daniel Craig unleashed in a tirade last year to GQ.

The lesson? If you’re a cool guy in Hollywood, you pretty much have to hate Kim Kardashian or risk losing your street cred.

Kim Kardashian really likes herself, Tim Tebow

Douglas Charles — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:10:07 +0000

Kim Kardashian, in a move that should shock absolutely no one, has a Google Alert set up on her cell phone to tell her when people are writing about her. Pretty much like we all do, right?

In other Kim Kardashian-related news, Tim Tebow scored another game-winner the other day by telling people that despite the fact that Kim has a sudden interest in doing bad things with him, he decided that probably wasn’t a good move.

“Kim has a big crush on Tim,” a friend confided. “She says he’s not only very handsome but seems like a guy with really strong values.”

But it’s more than just infatuation for Kim, 31. Even though she has her own money, pals claim she’s also seeing dollar signs in the 24-year-old hunk! The once red-hot reality star’s popularity has tanked recently, particularly after her sudden separation from pro basketball player Kris Humphries after just 72 days of marriage.

Since then, ratings for her flagship reality show, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” are down 14 percent. The buxom brunette has also lost endorsement deals, and her paid public appearances, which have netted up to $600,000 apiece, are dropping off at a rapid pace.

“Kim needs to rehab her image to get her career revved up again,” explained another source. “Dating someone like Tim Tebow would certainly do the trick.”

But even her family is telling her not to hold her breath.

“Tim’s been made aware of Kim’s crush, and although flattered, he’s not interested,” said a source.

You have to admit, the guy is clutch.

Source: Enquirer, print edition, February 6, 2012

VIDEO: Kim Kardashian is kind of gross, has psoriasis and body makeup

Chris Spags — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:29:28 +0000

Kim Kardashian is a guest host on Live with Kelly this week and boy did she set the bar high on her first episode. In this clip, from Buzzfeed, Kim talks about having psoriasis and the mass amounts of body make-up she wears.

And here I was, thinking Kim Kardashian was such a natural beauty. Boy is my face red, and thick with flaky, silver-white patches called scales. Oh, wait, no, that’s her legs. My bad.

Yes the punchline of this post was just the definition of psoriasis. I’m not perfect.

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom lease Dallas high-rise condo

A. Isaac — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:30:47 +0000

Khloe Kardashian and boy toy Lamar Odom may not be ready to call Dallas their full-time residence just yet. A month after being traded to the Mavericks, the happy couple is calling this spacious Dallas condo their temporary home. The condo boasts two bathrooms, a bar, pool table and all the amenities they’ve come to expect with their lavish lifestyle (fitness centers, spas, concierge service, etc).

Oh yes, the condo also has an extra bedroom, presumably for the numerous late-night sex romps of frequent visitor and big sis Kim Kardashian. She may not have a man right now, but give her a few months, and some athlete with an affinity for roomy hips will court the lovely lass.

All in all, the price tag for the condo isn’t much—$7500 a month. A mere pittance for a family who have profited greatly from the stupidity of American viewership.

9 famous people who need to go away

Neil Bulson — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 13:00:26 +0000

The world seems overrun with worthless celebrities, blowhards and fame-whores with nothing to offer the world other than the sale of their own dignity for the enjoyment of slack-jawed yokels everywhere. Obviously, some of these fools need to go away. And fast. Of course, we can’t include every worthless celebrity on this list because then it would be roughly 968 names long and I’m pretty sure I would get a nosebleed or at the very least get the urge to run wild with a hatchet by the time I hit number 50 and nobody wants that. Note: this will be epically hate filled and will probably piss some people off, but what the hell, at the very least this should earn me an invitation to the next Playa Hater’s Ball and none of you should begrudge me that. Now, with all that said, let’s get on with it.

9 Paris Hilton
The only reason Paris Hilton isn’t higher on this list is because no one really seems to give a shit about her anymore, at least according to the ratings from her latest miserable reality show which show that her audience basically consists of a retarded squirrel and a ham sandwich by this point. Still, Paris will always deserve to be on this list because she is basically the Queen Mother of the vapid fame-whore movement. I mean, come on, she literally became famous for sucking a guy’s dick. Now while I can applaud that kind of dedication to good old fashioned whoredom, unfortunately it paved the way for a generation of talentless ambition freaks, soulless monsters with cash registers for brains and hearts made of greed, all flooding the airwaves in a tidal wave of dumb noise, spray tanned giant asses and naked stupidity. Paris Hilton started all that. She made being a dumb whore fashionable and for that, she needs to go away.

8 Nancy Grace
Nancy Grace is the parasitic beast wriggling on the ocean floor of popular culture, sucking up every monstrous and hate-able thing she can, feeding on it in order to earn ratings and invitations to stupid reality dance shows. She trades on the misery and despair of others, and the worst part is that she actually clothes herself in some self-righteous do-gooder persona, like she is some sort of avenging angel. Well, why is it then, that the only “downtrodden” and “hopeless” people she advocates for are all stereotypical Natalee Holloway types, photogenic white, middle-class types who make for a nice, tidy story on the cover of People magazine? Where are all the stories on behalf of the poor African–American kids who go missing? Where are the indignant pleas for justice on behalf of the those poor, ugly folks doomed to be forever ignored by the press because they’re not photogenic enough? Those are the people who could really use her help. But instead, Nancy Grace prefers to appeal to the dimwitted carnivores of pop-culture, those who eat that shit up like popcorn at a movie theater. And because of that, she really, really needs to shut up and she really, really needs to go away.

7 Ashton Kutcher
I was all set to include Charlie Sheen on this list, but really, he’s pretty much already gone away. So instead I figured I’d include his talentless replacement, a doofus who has become more famous for being Ashton Kutcher: male concubine, than for anything he’s done in a movie or television show. It’s not that Kutcher is all that obnoxious – okay, fine, he totally is – so much as he’s generally, well, worthless. What does he actually add to anything? Is there anybody out there who sees his name attached to a project and thinks “Oh, man, I’ve gotta see that!” He basically exists now to spew dumb shit on Twitter and make Demi Moore look bad, which let’s be honest, isn’t that hard to do, but come on, man. Maybe it’s time to go back to Iowa for a while, Ashton. Or just go anywhere that we don’t have to see you. But no matter where you choose to go, just make sure that, for now anyway, you just go away.

6 Betty White
Wait… what? I know, I know, this one will probably make a bunch of people mad if only because, if I have learned anything over the years, it’s that on the internet people will get mad about literally anything. But I also recognize that Betty White is beloved. And honestly, this isn’t a knock on her. She’s great. It’s just that, well, the poor old lady needs to go away for a while. She’s a human punch-line at this point, the 2011 version of the Where’s the Beef lady or the Macarena. She shuffles onto the stage or screen, says something vaguely shocking and everybody howls. Good. Great. But… enough already, you know?

5 Jon and Kate Gosselin
The good news is that these fools seem to be on the way out. The bad news, though, is that they basically cashed in the lives of their own children for fifteen minutes of tacky fame. Jon has become an Affliction wearing joke, a tabloid punching bag whose greatest accomplishment in life is that he gave Lindsay Lohan’s dad a soul mate. Kate, meanwhile, just comes across like the Wicked Witch of the West, a humorless harridan obsessed with keeping her talons firmly affixed around the throat of whatever notoriety she’s “earned” by pooping out a whole litter of children. And she does it all with that same “I just smelled something terrible” look on her face that Nancy Grace has. Tthese two are awful and they have very likely ruined their kid’s lives and doomed them all to a lifetime of therapy and for that, they can kindly go away.

4 Anyone on ‘Real Housewives of… [fill in the blank]‘
This is the world Paris Hilton built. This is the world we all let happen. And every time you see one of these plastic faces on your TV, leaking botox and shame all over the place, spewing inane bullshit and, well, just generally being completely awful in every conceivable way, you should be ashamed of yourself. I know I am.

3 Snooki
Honestly, I could include virtually the whole cast of Jersey Shore here but for the most part, those dudes and lady dudes (and in J-Woww’s case, that seems like it might actually be an appropriate term) seem like harmless goofballs. The biggest exceptions are, of course, The Situation and Snooki. The Situation, though, seems like he’s already been burnt out. His ridiculous candle has already been snuffed and no one seems like they even care about the poor fool anymore. But Snooki… well, Snooki just won’t go away and that’s a problem because out of all of these idiots, she’s the one who seems the most despicable, like she understands only all too well that she is just America’s clown and just keeps feeding the beast with one ridiculous thing after another. Which wouldn’t be too bad except she is so obviously transparent about it. She’s on the TV, she’s all over the net, she’s got her own fragrance (eau de whore?) she’s got some lame spin-off coming up and she’s even all over the New York Times best seller list. A part of me appreciates her hustle. Another bigger part of me just finds her annoying as hell, and that part of me wishes she would just do the right thing and go away.

2 Lindsay Lohan
Look, I don’t want to see that crackwhore who lives in a box down the street and who sounds like she has a smoker’s cough from hell and who would probably trade in one of her last few remaining teeth for a moment of drugged out bliss, do anything, so why in the hell would I want to watch the slow-motion train wreck that is Lindsay Lohan’s life? There aren’t too many differences, except for… what’s that? Lindsay Lohan still has huge boobs? Well, carry on then. No, but for real, there is absolutely nothing interesting or attractive about Lindsay Lohan anymore. We get it, she likes drugs and she’s ruining her life and her family is terrible and blah, blah, blah… enough. It just never changes. She’s not America’s Sweetheart. She’s America’s Trainwreck. People don’t even want to make fun of her anymore. That’s how old this shit has gotten. They just want her to go away.

1 Anyone With the Last Name Kardashian or Jenner
Oh God, these friggin’ people. I don’t even know where to begin. They’re awful, just awful. I suppose I could start with this: this whole ridiculous clan is famous because of two things – Kim was filmed getting reamed by some dude and the original Kardashian patriarch was one of the ghouls responsible for getting OJ off the hook. What a legacy! Naturally, people who come from such fine, upstanding stock have parlayed that into epic fame-whorishness. These people would sell anything and everything. Their dignity was the first to go and now everything else is on the table too. They are so awful that they have even dragged multiple sports stars with them down into the gutter. It’s terrible. Of course, the core of this insane circus are Kim and her worthless sisters. I mean, it’s bad enough that Kim is famous just because she let some dude film himself banging her but her sisters are famous because they are simply related to that someone. They don’t even have the fame cache of a celebrity sex tape! They’re just… there. Okay fine, Khloe had that stint as the copilot of the Millennium Falcon but that was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. In this galaxy and in this time, they are just human avatars of greed and pointless fame and because of that, they all need to go very far away.

The Beauty Book for Brain Cancer is sexiness with a cause

Douglas Charles — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:31:52 +0000

Did you know that there is a book out there called The Beauty Book for Brain Cancer filled with sexy images of famous female celebrities that was put together to support research for brain cancer? You do now.

The Beauty Book is a hard cover coffee table book with images of your favorite celebrities, musicians and top models. All the monies raised, will go directly to Brain Cancer via two charities called SNOG & HEADRUSH. These charitable organizations are non- profit and both rely on donations for research.

I founded this project in February 2009 after I lost my dear friend, Natalie Sattler Esposito to brain cancer in September 2008, she was 35 years old. This is one friend’s life that was cut way to short, so I used all my Hollywood connections to give brain cancer a voice and The Beauty Book was born.

Among the women featured in this 312 page coffee table book are Hilary Duff, Jessica Alba, Ashley Greene, Leighton Meester, Hayden Panettiere, Eva Longoria, Scarlett Johansson, Lindsay Lohan, and Kim Kardashian (all seen here), plus Amy Adams, Dianna Agron, Moran Atais, Selma Blair, Julie Benz, Rachel Bilson, Emily Blunt, Kate Bosworth, Kristin Cavallari, Lily Cole, Miley Cyrus, Rosario Dawson, Brooklyn Decker, Jenna Dewan, Minnie Driver, Eliza Dushku, Carmen Electra, Kayla Ewell, Fergie, Beau Garrett, Rebecca Gayheart, Melissa George, Meagan Good, Delta Goodrem, Ashlan Gorse, Maggie Grace, Christina Hendricks, Rachel Hunter, Stacy Keibler, Miranda Kerr, Joanna Krupa, Demi Lovato, Rebecca Mader, Josie Moran, Carey Mulligan, Petra Nemcova, Nancy O’Dell, Anna Paquin, Frankie Rayder, Zoe Saldana, Denise Richards, Zoe Saldana, Nicole Scherzinger, Brittany Snow, Yvonne Strahovski, Jessica Szohr, Odette Yustman, and even more. Phew!

Of course, the Kardashians thought the ‘SNL’ skit was hilarious

Douglas Charles — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:00:38 +0000

Yesterday I asked if there was any chance that the Kardashians watched the dead-on hilarious skit about them on Saturday Night Live over the weekend and realized that it truly showed just how badly they were viewed by rest of the world. My answer was: Doubtful. I was correct.

Honestly, I wondered if the way they were utterly destroyed by the cast of SNL might force them to actually take a step back and self-evaluate. I mean, how could it not? Boy, was I way off.

“Ha! I just saw the SNL skit they did and I could not stop laughing,” Khloe, 27, tweeted Sunday. “It’s SNL. They are supposed to make fun. It’s not who we are and I know that.”

Kourtney, 32, was so impressed with Wiig’s impression of Jenner that she “peed” herself. “It was classic,” she tweeted.

Echoed Khloe: “She was the best one!”

Their reaction doesn’t shock me. What shocks me is that it wasn’t a well thought out, elaborately planned public relations response, but it was truly these women’s reactions at the very moments the TV show aired. In other words, they 100% truly have zero clue whatsoever how ridiculously they are perceived by the rest of the world. I guess that really shouldn’t shock me either.

What Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian Thought of Saturday Night Live Sketch [Us]

VIDEO: ‘SNL’ nails the Kardashians with ‘Fairytale Divorce’

Douglas Charles — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:00:19 +0000

Doing exactly what they were supposed to do and doing it well, the folks over at Saturday Night Live took the opportunity this weekend to righteously and hilariously make fun of Kim Kardashian, her family, and her divorce from Kris Humphries.

After the Kardashians made such a spectacle over Kim getting married and treating the wedding as if Kim was the Princess of America, Nasim Pedrad, Kristen Wiig, and Andy Samberg absolutely killed the Kardashians for Kim filing for divorce after only 72 days. Nasim was dead-on as Kim, Kristen is what Kris Jenner wishes she looked like, and Andy Samberg as Kris Humphries was priceless. Perhaps the best, most dead-on line of the skit was delivered by Nasim when she said as Kim, “Things are looking up for me; I’m single and there’s an NBA lockout!”

So do you suppose there is any chance that the Kardashian clan watched this skit over the weekend and finally had the epiphany that this really is how people view them and that no amount of money can make that okay? Doubtful.

VIDEO: The Kardashian clan is set on ‘full-spin’ mode now

Douglas Charles — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:00:47 +0000

If you think that Kim Kardashian getting divorced isn’t as big a publicity scam as the marriage to Kris Humphries also was, then I have some land I’d like to sell you.

First off, Kim’s mom Kris is now claiming that Kim didn’t make a dime off her marriage, which, of course, everyone with a functioning brain thinks is a complete lie.

Kris Jenner appeared on “Today” this morning … and said, “It saddens me to think that one of the rumors is that we’ve sold the television rights for millions of dollars, not true. We profited or she profited – absolutely false.”

Jenner’s statement follows a stern blog post from Kim — in which she also stated, “There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this.”

Kim’s lockstep in this notion as she appeared on a Australian TV show yesterday, since that’s what we all do the day we file for divorce, right?

One problem I see with their logic: If companies paid for the wedding, even if they only paid $1 million of her reported $10 million wedding, that’s what’s known as profiting. But hey, logic can be a real bitch when you’re trying to spin your way out of the media gunfire.

It’s also being reported that Kris Jenner made sure that Kim filed her divorce papers on Monday to make sure that the weekly magazines would be able to get it into their publications.

An insider also told The Hollywood Reporter that Jenner — who serves as the family’s business manager — made sure that Kardashian and Humphries’ divorce was announced on Monday in time for coverage in the weekly magazines, which go to deadline that day.

The Kardashians unleashed multiple statements to the media Monday (making sure to first give them to E! News, which airs their reality show, and thus pays their bills), before the ink was dry on the divorce filing.

Now I’m not sure which mom is the worst mom in Hollywood. Before I’d have said it was Dina Lohan’s title unchallenged, but Kris Jenner is really making a strong case for herself.

“People just have to stop judging,” said Jenner on the Today Show. Ha. Good one.

See Sad Kim Kardashian’s First Post-Split Interview [Us]
Kardashian Family — We Didn’t Make a Cent Off the Wedding [TMZ]
Kris Jenner to Discuss Kim Kardashian’s Divorce on ‘Today’ Show [Hollywood Reporter]