Because there’s an empty spot left on his resume, and the title of game designer apparently makes the most sense, immediately after 90s syndicated superstar and Euro chart buster.

First off, there’s a game called Burnout Crash, which takes the once celebrated arcade racer that the hardcore set used to ]]>

Because there’s an empty spot left on his resume, and the title of game designer apparently makes the most sense, immediately after 90s syndicated superstar and Euro chart buster.

First off, there’s a game called Burnout Crash, which takes the once celebrated arcade racer that the hardcore set used to swear by, and turns into a thoroughly casual gaming affair. It’s not horrible per say, simply not the Burnout that everyone knows and loves.

Anyhow, the game’s producers are particularly keen on pimping the fact that it’s Kinect compatible. And what better way than to hire a pop star relic from the 80s and 90s?

BTW, it’s also coming out to iOS, somewhere down the road. Anyhow, while on a promotional junket for the game, Hasselhoff mentioned to Reuters how he’d love to “make” one himself…

“I’ve wanted to develop my own game so this was a way of seeing if this works and maybe we can take this one step further with using the same concept as ‘Burnout Crash,’ and maybe do something with the Hoff.”

… God I love people who refer to themself in the third person. Furthermore, he noted how Burnout Crash reminded him of his glory days…

“I saw the game and said, this is what Knight Rider is about.”

Umm, hate to break it to you “Hoff” but just taking a pre-existing game and just inserting you into it does not make you a game designer. Furthermore, the only reason why folks gave a rat’s ass about Knight Rider in the first place was the car, not your dumb ass. Same with Baywatch, which was mostly to ogle Pamela Anderson’s (those I was more into Nicole Eggert myself).

I was on Hulu the other day and ran across this clip from a show from the SPEED channel, where they were selling one of the cars used in one of my all-time favorite films “Ghostbusters.”

I can’t tell if Ernie Hudson comes with the car…or maybe drives ]]>

I was on Hulu the other day and ran across this clip from a show from the SPEED channel, where they were selling one of the cars used in one of my all-time favorite films “Ghostbusters.”

I can’t tell if Ernie Hudson comes with the car…or maybe drives it around to bust ghosts with you on the weekends–either way, if I had the disposable income, I would buy this car. And quickly start my own ghost busting business. It was awesome then and is awesome now. Which got me to thinking about all the toy cars I had when I was a kid during the 80s. Then that got me to thinking about the cars I would most like to purchase from 80s films and television series.

The list could go on and on, but here are the other 6 cars I think most children of the 80s wouldn’t mind cruising around in some 20-30 years later…

This is possibly the most beloved vehicle of every young man who grew up in the 80s. I pity the fool that wouldn’t want to take a ride in the A-Team van. Well, back in the day I would have. That was before Chris Hansen and the trend of child predators in black vans with no windows were not yet prevalent.

Who wouldn’t want to rock down the road in this beast? Imagine just blaring the theme song and scaring the hell out of everyone in the carpool lane. You’d obviously need to also buy a stockpile of weapons, a bunch of huge honking cigars, and wear enough gold chains to sink an aircraft carrier. You say you already have all that? I love it when a plan comes together. And if you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find it, maybe you can buy…The A-Team van.

This car f@*%ing talked! And I don’t care what anyone says, this car did not need Michael Knight. The Hoff may have been calling the shots (as he often does in Germany), but KITT had turbo boosters, an “Alpha Circuit” that enabled him to drive himself away from danger, and an onboard computer that enabled him to see, smell and torch his surroundings (onboard flamethrower, FTW). It even had an ejector seat in case anyone was “Hassling the Hoff.” It was basically a military grade tank that had everything a kid would want, but in talking car form. Go look at the wiki page and tell me this car isn’t the balls. I heard that the only reason Hasselhoff and KITT are no longer on speaking terms is because KITT drove out of the premiere of “Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding.” But come on, who didn’t…

When I was little, I dreamed of one day growing a wicked mustache and starting my own private investigation company in Oahu. Obviously, my dreams have been crushed since then; I can’t even find my keys, much less a missing person and I can barely grow facial hair. That aside, I still may be able to afford the coolest car of any TV program of the decade. This car just kicked major ass. It was sleek, fast and when it revved its big red engine, it revved the engines of every lady within a two block radius. Damnit, I wish I could grow a mustache. Screw it, I’ll buy a fake one. Does anyone out there have a few extra Hawaiian shirts, a helicopter, and an inordinate amount of free time, and wants to start a private investigation business with me in Hawaii?

Look, I know that some people have qualms about this famous backwoods stuntmobile and for good reason. I don’t agree with the Confederate mindset, but I also don’t feel that was what the General Lee was all about. The GL wasn’t about separating white from black, it was about separating a couple good ol’ boys from a bumbling sheriff and his dog, Flash. It didn’t matter what car they drove, they had had trouble with the law since they day they were born. Let’s look at the positives and try and find something about the General that transcends race. Like jumping hay bails and backwoods trains in a 69’ Charger. I think we can all agree that’s awesome, right?

It looked cool (at the time), it had gullwing doors, and oh yeah, if you got it up to 88 mph it could travel through time. All you needed was a DeLorean with a few slight modifications to go back to the future; an electrical storm, a clock tower, and a plutonium-fueled nuclear reactor. You know, the usual things you need to rip the fabric of the space/time continuum. It turns out the only people who didn’t want to buy this car was the American public. Much like the hoverboard, this concept car never really got off the ground. Its disappointment is only rivaled by it’s mystique, which would have been enough for me to buy one when I was four. I REALLY wanted to see a dinosaur in person at that point, but couldn’t get a good line of credit.

Like the Kool Aid man would say, “Ohhhhhh, yeeeeeeaaaaah.” It was so plush that the coolest on-screen teenager of the decade highly recommended that everybody get one. When I asked my dad to get me one, he just laughed in my face. This would become a theme of my life. If I had this car, I don’t think things would have turned out that way. I doubt that anyone had a friend like Cameron with access to a set of wheels like this, but I imagine if you did you’d have taken more than your fair share of days off. Just cruising around and making middle aged folks wonder what sort of wrong decisions they had made in their lives when a 17-year-old kid has a car worth more than their house. Ahh, to be young again.

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You know, I find it odd that with the news being so utterly depressing this week and society basically collapsing around us that the funny video well seems to be more full than ever before. Here’s a clip of some drunk guy trying to have sex with a truck. Why? ]]>

You know, I find it odd that with the news being so utterly depressing this week and society basically collapsing around us that the funny video well seems to be more full than ever before. Here’s a clip of some drunk guy trying to have sex with a truck. Why? Why not, you sanctimonious bastard.

The thing I find odd on the YouTube clip is that it specifically mentions that the truck is a Toyota. Perhaps this is a viral marketing campaign for Toyota. Toyota: You can f your truck. It’s appealing. Don’t act like you didn’t see Knight Rider and immediately think that you wanted to f the artificially intelligent brains out of KITT. Hell, same thing with Mr. Feeny on Boy Meets World. That William Daniels is just a sexy man, what can I say?