Guyism » Kourtney Kardashian

Kathy Griffin tweets about Kardashian Khaos towels – attempted hilarity ensues

Colin Joliat — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:59:23 +0000

Kathy Griffin recently tweeted a picture of Kardashian Khaos beach towels. Not only is the entire idea ridiculous, somehow the family managed to look even more awkward when printed on polyester. While she isn’t exactly a looker herself, Griffin is right to mock these atrocities. Because she’s a comedian though, everyone took the opportunity to make their best attempt at impressing a professional. Let’s see if any of them succeeded.

@kathygriffin sister girl, can we kill them off already?

— fuck it (@Joe_cueto) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin i just threw up in my mouth a little

— BPerry (@beck1316) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin new merch idea: Kathy beach towels!! 5models, front view rear view toplessbottomless or both! I’ll take three of each please

— john saletel (@johnsaletel) March 20, 2012

@kathygriffin It’s unbelievable, isn’t it? It’s like a god damned world domination plan. I can’t take much more of it.

— Brynne-Eva Zeff (@NickysAngelBaby) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin OMG! They have their very own spooge rags!

— doug wemple (@dudleydew) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin you mean bitch towels.

— Peter Spyro (@peterspyro) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin those whore still want people to pay to lay on them

— Peter J Likus (@LikusPJ) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Next they’ll have their own line of enemas.

— Brianne Sharpe (@BrianneSharpe) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin there’s a really mean joke about them being used to having balls rubbed on them in there somewhere…

— Chris Haigh (@Higher_Boy) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin They ain’t got nothing on you. I’ve seen your pics on the web. I’m looking at one now! It’s so awkward typing with one hand!

— Dennis Murdock (@DennisInOttawa) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin does the back of the towel have an ass shot?

— mclaw (@mclaw7) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin When r u gonna b on a towel? B/c I would never buy those whore rags in the pic.

— Daniel Edenrow (@DanielEdenrow) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Wow…I mean, Who doesn’t want to sit on the face of a Kardashian?

— Irene (@daysleeper_025) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Oh Look, Kardashiwhores.

— Alicia Kelly (@aliciakelly966) March 19, 2012

@kathygriffin Do they smell like fish?

— Jeff Trout (@irace1) March 19, 2012

Of course, the Kardashians thought the ‘SNL’ skit was hilarious

Douglas Charles — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:00:38 +0000

Yesterday I asked if there was any chance that the Kardashians watched the dead-on hilarious skit about them on Saturday Night Live over the weekend and realized that it truly showed just how badly they were viewed by rest of the world. My answer was: Doubtful. I was correct.

Honestly, I wondered if the way they were utterly destroyed by the cast of SNL might force them to actually take a step back and self-evaluate. I mean, how could it not? Boy, was I way off.

“Ha! I just saw the SNL skit they did and I could not stop laughing,” Khloe, 27, tweeted Sunday. “It’s SNL. They are supposed to make fun. It’s not who we are and I know that.”

Kourtney, 32, was so impressed with Wiig’s impression of Jenner that she “peed” herself. “It was classic,” she tweeted.

Echoed Khloe: “She was the best one!”

Their reaction doesn’t shock me. What shocks me is that it wasn’t a well thought out, elaborately planned public relations response, but it was truly these women’s reactions at the very moments the TV show aired. In other words, they 100% truly have zero clue whatsoever how ridiculously they are perceived by the rest of the world. I guess that really shouldn’t shock me either.

What Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian Thought of Saturday Night Live Sketch [Us]

Celebrity dirt: Kim Kardashian’s sisters hate Kris Humphries and more of today’s gossip

Douglas Charles — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 14:00:20 +0000

Kim Kardashian’s Sisters Hate Kris Humphries
“Kris is getting famous for marrying a Kardashian.”

Kim K — Calling the Shots for New Pussycat Dolls Show
“…she’ll be running things BEHIND THE SCENES — as the executive producer of a new PCD reality show…”

Mary-Kate Olsen, Dakota Fanning Diss Lindsay Lohan at Fashion Week
“At two separate bashes, Mary-Kate Olsen and Dakota Fanning took serious measures to keep their distance…”

Charlie Sheen: “I Would Have Fired My Ass Too”
“It was bad and I own my part in that, and I just want to make everything right.”

Charlie Sheen: I’d RETURN to Men … If They’d Have Me Back
“If they thought it was a good idea … I’m completely on board for that.”

Brad Pitt: “I Wasn’t Living an Interesting Life” While Married to Jennifer Aniston
“”It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself.”

Brad Pitt: Jennifer Aniston Comments Misinterpreted, She “Remains My Friend”
“The point I was trying to make is not that Jen was dull, but that I was becoming dull to myself…”

Jennifer Aniston — Photog Swarm is Crippling Neighborhood
“…the paps have been stirring up constant mayhem for weeks — creating traffic problems, blocking driveways, and even causing a few minor car accidents…”

Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis Explain Hacking Scandal Photos
“At no time did Mr. Timberlake and Ms. Kunis exchange inappropriate texts or emails. … The insistence that there is any inappropriate correspondence between the two parties is entirely false.”

Gerard Butler Explains His Drastic Weight Loss
“I’m prepping for a surf movie.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Oliva Munn’s photo shoot for the latest issue of Shape magazine.

Celebrity dirt: January Jones “sucks at acting” and more of today’s gossip

Douglas Charles — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:35:49 +0000

Lost creator to January Jones: You suck at acting!
“Emma Frost’s THREE mutant powers: Telepathy, Transformation to Solid Diamond and last but not least, Sucking at Acting.”

Emma Watson: Why I really left Brown University
“I wanted to pretend I wasn’t as famous as I was. I was trying to seek out normality, but I kind of have to accept who I am, the position I’m in and what happened.”

Jennifer Lopez intimate home video allegedly stolen
“…co-executive producer of the project, Ed Meyer, allegedly took the data drive, containing the footage, from her house without her permission.”

Blake Lively, Leonardo DiCaprio went to Disneyland
“…the hot new twosome and their entourage were escorted via private entrance to the front of the line on the “StarTours” ride past 11 p.m..”

Kourtney Kardashian on Kim’s engagement: “I don’t have to get married now”
“Kim getting engaged definitely bought me some time…”

Khloe Kardashian flashes breast on live TV
“My nip slip is all over the internet. Is it weird that I love it?!”

Ultimate Warrior accuses Hulk Hogan of drug use, wife-swap
“Warrior released the rant yesterday to tease a 55 minute anti-Hogan video he plans to release later this month…”

Razor Ramon — Wanna buy my wrestling stuff???
“…he’s hoping to sell the iconic N.W.O. leather vest he wore during his epic Wrestlemania 18 battle with Stone Cold Steve Austin back in 2002.”

Celebrity Rehab season 5 cast revealed
“Dr. Drew’s new patients include tabloid mainstay Michael Lohan, Bai Ling and Baywatch star Jeremy Jackson.”

Tabloid apologizes for hacking into Sienna Miller’s cell phone
“The apology is just the cherry on top for Miller — she is expected to receive £100,000 in damages.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of Nina Dobrev’s Seventeen Fitness shoot.

Kim Kardashian is attention-getting

Douglas Charles — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 18:00:43 +0000

This almost makes me want to watch The Late Show again...

Because she’s still got lots of really, really important things to say Kim Kardashian was on The Late Show the other day and as you can see she busted out two of her most useful attributes for the big occasion. Kim’s hotter sister Kourtney (yes she is) was also there, wearing a really long full-body covering coat for some strange reason (she must not be as good at marketing as Kim), therefore there’s only one photo of her below. It’s like the two of them aren’t even related.

This Week in Celebrity Gossip: Jessica Alba is mildly crazy

Douglas Charles — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 15:00:10 +0000

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Jessica Alba thinks she’s not that great looking. Seriously.

— In other absurd female celebrity news, Jennifer Aniston is the most eligible single woman in the world, according to a new Vanity Fair poll. As dubious as that is, wait til you see the rest of the list.

— Remember how some lovely young lady named Brittney Jones claimed to have been sleeping with Ashton Kutcher? Maybe you don’t because neither Ashton nor his wife Demi Moore ever really commented on it. Maybe that’s because Demi once let Michael Phelps (yes, that one) play with the part of her body where her daughter Rumer first appeared. Figure it out.

— Devon James’ Tiger Woods sex tape Web site is now online. I guess.

— Courtney Love quit Twitter because of a nude photo posted to her account that was supposed to be a private message. I’m shocked that something as technologically advanced as Twitter confused Courtney. She seems so bright and level-headed.

— In other well-balanced female celebrity news, it seems that on the first day Lindsay Lohan was allowed to have visitors in rehab at the Betty Ford Center the only person who showed up was her personal assistant. The person she pays to hang out with her. No one else. Wow.

— Okay, one more for the crazy train… Tila Tequila tried to stop the release of a sex tape in which she is a main character by going to court. The judge laughed at her – figuratively at least.

— Lil Wayne got tossed into solitary confinement for musical contraband. Such a hell-raiser, that Lil Wayne.

— Christina Hendricks gets hit on by gay men. She’s just that damn attractive.

— Snooki was offered $100k to be the face of porn, further proving that the porn industry has run out of attractive people.

— Lisa Rinna got a lip reduction. On her face, pervert. In other news, who gives a f–k?

— Kobe Bryant says he could beat LeBron James in a game of one-on-one… in his sleep (video evidence of said boast). Prove it, I say.

— Further proving that TV executives have run out of anything resembling an idea, the Kardashians are getting yet another reality show.

— Speaking of the Kardashians, someone (some AWESOME person) threw a drink on Kim the other day at a bar and some kind of lame celebrity fight ensued. And yes, her top got wet, because I know you were wondering.

— And finally, Paris Hilton: Step-mom?

Today’s sexy video comes to us courtesy of (still 17 years-old) Miley Cyrus. It’s the just released video for her new single Who Owns My Heart and let’s just say if you have a daughter who is a big fan of Hannah Montana, you not want to watch, because if her last video gave you pause, then this one will make you start a bonfire of all your kid’s Hannah Montana gear. However, if you don’t have a daughter, please feel free to pedo it up…

Kim Kardashian using a bikini to get over Reggie Bush

Douglas Charles — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 17:00:38 +0000

Normally I wouldn’t say that someone is doing something as devious as prancing around on the beach in a bikini in a effort to get at their ex-boyfriend, but in the case of Kim Kardashian anything is possible. She’s not really that different from Heidi Montag when you really think about it as far as being a media whore. She just happens to keep her mouth shut a lot more, which allows her to avoid taking the full wrath of those of us that pretty much despise her, unlike Heidi. Whatever… here’s Kim in a bikini covering up her butt like it’ll melt if the sun hits it or vanish if it should be photographed. Oh yeah, Kourtney was also there in a bikini… enjoy.

30 years of sexy ladies: The women of 1979 (Pt. 2)

Douglas Charles — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:00:37 +0000

1979… McDonald’s introduces the Happy Meal. The Iran hostage crisis begins. The Pittsburgh Pirates defeat the Baltimore Orioles in the World Series. Michael Jackson releases his first breakthrough album Off the Wall. And this set of stunning women were born…

Over the span of several weeks we will be taking a look at the sexiest women born between the years 1962 and 1991, culminating with you deciding which of these over 300 women is our 2010 Sexiest Woman of the Year. Each birth year offers something special with beautiful women representing countries around the globe. These lists feature actresses, models, singers, athletes… Trust me, no one is left out.

(Click the pics to see more of each lady.)

Be sure to vote at the end of this post for who you think is the sexiest of this group!

- – - – - – - – 1979 – - – - – - – -

Stacy Keibler (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Kelly Brook (British model, actress)

Kourtney Kardashian (American something) – – – – – – – – – Dania Ramirez (Dominican actress)

Holly Madison (American model) – – – – – – – – – Cameron Richardson (American model)

Kate Hudson (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Summer Altice (American model)

Evangeline Lilly (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Rachael Leigh Cook (American actress)

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE FOR THE LADIES OF OTHER YEARS!

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Kourtney Kardashian is easily the hottest sister

Douglas Charles — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Now I know some of you have an infatuation with Kim, but take a look at these pics of Kourtney in 944 magazine and tell me she isn’t the hotter Kardashian. I mean just look at how much better she Photoshops than Kim!

More Kourtney goodness here and here.

The hotter Kardashian did a photo shoot

Douglas Charles — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:00:00 +0000

Kourtney Kardashian was recently featured in Maxim magazine because, well, um… hmmm… oh yeah, because she’s attractive and lucky for us there was video to record this historic event…

The hotter and the bigger Kardshian bikini it up

Douglas Charles — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Now I know many of you will argue that Kim Kardashian is the hottest sister of the three, and to that I say, “You crazy.” But even if you disagree with me on their rankings within the family, one thing I know you will agree with me on is that if they’re in bikinis then I need to show you them…

By the way, just to be clear, Kourtney Kardashian is the hotter and Khloe is the, um, larger one… Didn’t want any confusion on my part…

The Celebrity Beach Bowl was held… again

Douglas Charles — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:00:00 +0000

And as usual the term ‘celebrity’ was loosely applied. Participants included Chace Crawford, Blake Lively, Penn Badgley, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian and their stepmom?, Adrienne Bailon, Stacy Keibler, Maria Menounos, Dave Annabelle, Matthew Rhys, Jayde Nicole, Amber Lancaster, Kevin Dillon, Pilar Lastra, Reggie Bush and Eddie George. See what I mean about ‘celebrity’?

Nice, uh, hands, Maria. Okay, can someone please explain to me why the Kardashians were every-f’ing-where for the Super Bowl? Seriously… WHY ARE THEY FAMOUS?

Kim or Kourtney?

Douglas Charles — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 19:30:00 +0000

Every time I see Kim and Kourtney Kardashian together I think, “Hmmm… that Kourtney is kinda hot and that Kim, meh…” So what do you think? Here they are out at PURE on NYE to help you decide…

Keep in mind that neither of them have any real claim to fame other than Kim and her, well, you know… so the decision you make below has no real consequence or importance… happy voting!!

Online Surveys & Market Research

A moment with Kim and Kourtney Kardashian

Douglas Charles — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:00:00 +0000

For more Kim and Kourtney, click here.

Kim, Kourtney and Kristin in their bikinis in Miami

Douglas Charles — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:30:00 +0000

Speaking of hot women living off their looks, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian as well as Kristin Cavallari were all also on Miami beach this weekend for the opening of the new Fountainbleau Hotel and the big show. Kim even graces us with the rarest of sights: the underboob.

Man, I need to find out where next year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is being shot and book tix now.

More sexy Kim Kardashian photos here.

The ESPY’s really draw the poon

Douglas Charles — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:00:00 +0000

Furthering my notion that the whole purpose of the ESPY’s is so that the male staff of ESPN can hang with hot ‘tang is this batch of pics.

Are you really telling me these chicks are there for their love of sports? And could someone tell me why Kourtney Kardashian and Brady Quinn got invites to this thing? They have absolutely no connection to sports whatsoever.

UPDATE: The ESPY’s even have bodypainted chicks, thus cementing my notion.