Thankfully a few weeks ago, his transgressions landed him in a Michigan jail. But unfortunately for the people of Detroit, it didn’t end there. Yesterday, a federal grand jury handed down an indictment of 19 tax/mail fraud charges against Kilpatrick. His lawyer, Arnold Reed responded to the charges today. And in typical three-ring circus fashion, he mocked a reporters question by clucking like a chicken.

H/t to the Doc for giving us the heads up

As if the city of Detroit didn’t already have a massive parting of the Red Sea, this new strip club law certainly won’t help.

The City Council approved a crackdown on the city’s 31 topless clubs today that bans VIP rooms and lap dancing, but still allows them to serve booze.

The vote was 6-3, with Kwame Kenyatta, JoAnn Watson and Brenda Jones dissenting. The council voted unanimously to pass new zoning regulations limiting where new clubs could open.

I’m not sure I entirely understand the motive behind this. Detroit’s economy is in the crapper so you are taking away businesses? If the goal is for people to spend more money on something a little more “thoughtful”, then I could maybe understand the logic. But when you build three major casinos within spitting distance of each other, you really throw logic right into the cesspool of a Detroit crack house.

I guess the strip club owners, as shady as they may be, didn’t have the pull or the cash flow to bribe politicians this time around. If former mayor and pimp extraordinaire Kwame Kilpatrick were still in office, this wouldn’t have been a problem. The man single-handedly kept three strip clubs open with his own “personal business” on a Friday night.

I do, however, agree with councilman Ken Cockrel’s assertion that city residents need to concentrate on better things.

Cockrel said he had never seen the council auditorium so packed Monday, but said he wishes residents had the same kind of passion about other challenges facing the city, such as homelessness and joblessness.

“Where is that outrage about a young girl being raped on the way to school,” Cockrel said. “We have bigger fish to fry. Let’s get passionate about that stuff.”

Considering the topic at hand is strippers, let’s keep future references to “fish” at a minimum, shall we?

Detroit passes new rules on strip clubs {DetNews}

While I’m not one to comment on politics here, I would feel somewhat at a loss if I didn’t comment on that douche Kwame Kilpatrick and his bid to get a job in Texas.

How the hell in this struggling economy does a guy who just spent the last couple of months in jail walk out and go straight for a job interview?

I mean, what kind of questions are being asked in this interview?

“Mr. Kilpatrick, what was your last job”

“How would you rate your performance at your last job?”

“Do you have some references?”

“Have you committed any crimes we should know about?”

I’d love to know where he’s interviewing at. Because unless its at McDonald’s or Wendy’s, I think I might have to wage some kind of protest.

One series of messages from November 2003 goes on for more than an hour as Beatty describes what she would do with Kilpatrick if they were together.

“Don’t STOP! PLEASE,” Kilpatrick replies.

[source]

Goodbye Kwame.

Don’t let my f**ckin cupcake toe hit you on the way out.

Oh yea, even though you are only going to jail for like 4 months, I hope its federal pound me in the ass prison.

You are a cheater

You are a liar.

You are a stealer.

And more than likely, you are a killer.

I hope you get the OJ treatment….meaning, I hope restaurant owners won’t serve you when you and your entourage walk in.

I hope you get sued for every last dime you own.

I hope that you think you got a good deal out of this but then still end up guilty for assaulting the police officer.

On behalf of every Detroiter and suburbanite, I say

SUCK MY BALLS!

**Update**

The deal calls for Kilpatrick to plead guilty to two felony counts of obstruction of justice by committing perjury, agreeing to serve four months in jail, pay up to $1 million in restitution, and serve five years’ probation. He also agreed not to run for office during that five-year span.

And resign as mayor immediately

Allow me to step away from toilet humor and women for a second to address something important.

Detroit is the pits….

And yes, literally speaking, when a house sells for $1 and you can’t find a buyer for well over a month, you have a problem.

The home, at 8111 Traverse Street, a few blocks from Detroit City Airport, was the nicest house on the block when it sold for $65,000 in November 2006, said neighbor Carl Upshaw. But the home was foreclosed last summer, and it wasn’t long until “the vultures closed in,” Upshaw said. “The siding was the first to go. Then they took the fence. Then they broke in and took everything else.”

See, if I’m Kwame Kilpatrick, I buy that house and turn it into a halfway home. That would be a personal investment for him as he’s bound to be in one sooner than later.

Might as well make it comfy

We take time out of our regularly scheduled programming to inform you that Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was thrown in jail this morning for leaving the country without permission from the court

Court officials said Kilpatrick would remain in jail until he either posts the full $75,000 bond or until his lawyers can persuade a Wayne County Circuit Court judge to overturn the decision. But first, Kilpatrick would be taken to the 36th District Court detention area.

Thanks to WOI Reader Dan for passing on this joyous info….

And in the Least Shocking Thing Ever to Happen Category, we have Kwame Kilpatrick getting booed at the Red Wings Parade.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say a lot of Kwame’s “supporters” aren’t Red Wings fans….

Just a Hunch

Free Press Story

Per Kim Worthy’s press conference….

8 Counts against Kwame Kilpatrick….All Felonies!

Perjury

Obstruction of Justice

Misconduct in office

If you didn’t hear Kwame’s speech last night, you missed a doozy. If you would like to reproduce it, I suggest you eat as much garbage as you can, go down to Orchestra Hall and take a steaming dump on the stage.

Essentially, that’s what Kwame did tonight.

It was an embarrassing performance by a man on his last legs. Like a child who resorts to name calling to defend himself.

The two highlights of the speech came towards the end as the “thug from the D” called out City Council President Ken Crockrel

President Cockrel, we have much more serious issues affecting our city than whether we attend a speech or not.

I love you, and I love what you’ve done in our city, and at this moment in our history we must start to turn to each other and not on each other

But if that wasn’t enough, Kwame couldn’t let the speech end without playing the race card.

In the past 30 days I’ve been called a nigger more than any time in my entire life.

In the past three days I’ve received more death threats than I have in my entire administration.

I’ve heard these words, but I’ve never heard people say them about my wife and children.

I have to say this, because it’s very personal to me.

I don’t believe that a Nielsen rating is worth the life of my children or your children. This unethical, illegal lynch mob mentality has to stop.

Funny that a white announcer got lambasted for using the term “lynch” but an elected official uses it in a State of the City address with no repercussions.

Full Text of Speech

And if you didn’t think Kwame was capable of re-election, you’re dead wrong. He had several thousand supporters there.

And yes, they are all stupid!

Wonder what kind of secret deal Kwame is making in this picture?

By the way, if you have absolutely no life, you can actually go through the 196 page document.

As a suggestion though, you might just want to read one of the hundred or so articles in the morning local papers.

Free press
DetNews

As for my thoughts, well, do you really need them?

Guy is a bozo and the fact that he is now considering a civil suit is an asbolute joke

Watch it here

How ironic that the day Guyism crowns the Greatest Sports Liar of All-Time, Kwame Kilpatrick delivers one of the most hollow apologies in political history.

And you know what’s weird, people still support this douchebag.

Detroiter Byron Frazier, 33, who attended the rally earlier today in downtown Detroit, braved the bitterly cold night to show support for the mayor. “I think the media is giving him a bum rap. I voted for him. I’d vote for him again and again.”

Link

Yeah, I totally agree Byron. I’m sick of those damn media members sending illicit text messages, lying under oath, and costing the city 9 million.

With all due respect Mr. Frazier, you are what’s wrong with the city of Detroit and you are the reason Detroit keeps falling farther into the abyss.

When I hear or read stuff like this, its a wonder why so much blame goes Kwame’s way. The people had a chance to oust him and elect a respectable guy like Freeman Hendrix. Instead, the black people of Detroit supposedly didnt want “white people” or “suburban folk” telling them what to do.

And yes, I said black people. If you find that overtly offensive, I don’t care.
117,354 people voted for Kwame in 2005 and Detroit by all estimates(2000 census) is 80-85% black.

In fact, Ill go as far as saying Kwame was re-elected on the backs of young black men and women. So much so that the night before voting, Kwame was visiting bars and clubs trying to garner some last minute support.

What a joke. To spite everybody else, Detroiters were willing to re-elect an incompetent man and have him waste your hard earned money.

So for the 100+ thousand of you out there that voted for Kwame, every morning when you wake up, look outside:

Look at the streets that arent cleared. Look at the buildings that are vacant. Look at the garbage that’s not picked up.

And then look in your mirror and say:

“It is my fault”