— Jessica Alba thinks she’s not that great looking. Seriously.

— In other absurd female celebrity news, Jennifer Aniston is the most eligible single woman in the world, according to a new Vanity Fair poll. As dubious as that is, wait til you see the rest of the list.

— Remember how some lovely young lady named Brittney Jones claimed to have been sleeping with Ashton Kutcher? Maybe you don’t because neither Ashton nor his wife Demi Moore ever really commented on it. Maybe that’s because Demi once let Michael Phelps (yes, that one) play with the part of her body where her daughter Rumer first appeared. Figure it out.

— Devon James’ Tiger Woods sex tape Web site is now online. I guess.

— Courtney Love quit Twitter because of a nude photo posted to her account that was supposed to be a private message. I’m shocked that something as technologically advanced as Twitter confused Courtney. She seems so bright and level-headed.

— In other well-balanced female celebrity news, it seems that on the first day Lindsay Lohan was allowed to have visitors in rehab at the Betty Ford Center the only person who showed up was her personal assistant. The person she pays to hang out with her. No one else. Wow.

— Okay, one more for the crazy train… Tila Tequila tried to stop the release of a sex tape in which she is a main character by going to court. The judge laughed at her – figuratively at least.

— Lil Wayne got tossed into solitary confinement for musical contraband. Such a hell-raiser, that Lil Wayne.

— Christina Hendricks gets hit on by gay men. She’s just that damn attractive.

— Snooki was offered $100k to be the face of porn, further proving that the porn industry has run out of attractive people.

— Lisa Rinna got a lip reduction. On her face, pervert. In other news, who gives a f–k?

— Kobe Bryant says he could beat LeBron James in a game of one-on-one… in his sleep (video evidence of said boast). Prove it, I say.

— Further proving that TV executives have run out of anything resembling an idea, the Kardashians are getting yet another reality show.

— Speaking of the Kardashians, someone (some AWESOME person) threw a drink on Kim the other day at a bar and some kind of lame celebrity fight ensued. And yes, her top got wet, because I know you were wondering.

— And finally, Paris Hilton: Step-mom?

Today’s sexy video comes to us courtesy of (still 17 years-old) Miley Cyrus. It’s the just released video for her new single Who Owns My Heart and let’s just say if you have a daughter who is a big fan of Hannah Montana, you not want to watch, because if her last video gave you pause, then this one will make you start a bonfire of all your kid’s Hannah Montana gear. However, if you don’t have a daughter, please feel free to pedo it up…

These totally not staged for the free publicity that comes with them photos of Lisa Rinna in a bikini on some beach have my brain doing the splits because I’m not sure whether I should be happy about them or not. On one hand it’s a semi-hot cougary lady in a bikini. On the other hand, it’s a little freaky. Lisa’s just a little too ripped for a lady her age in my opinion. Not that its a bad thing, it’s just not my cup of tea necessarily. Then again, I am pretty much talking to myself here because all of you have pretty much either moved on because you don’t want to see her or you have moved on to looking at the rest of the photos because you find her attractive. At least my typing here has some therapeutic benefit I suppose. Whatever… famous babe looking chilly in a bikini…

I think Jimmy Choo makes shoes or something and if that’s true then it’s no wonder that a whole big pile of hot celebrity booty was on hand for some event he held the other day called the Jimmy Choo for H&M Collection Exclusive Launch… whatever… .All I know is that Hayden Panettiere was excited enough about this event to slip into some skin-tight leather pants which immediately makes me want to go buy a bunch of Jimmy Choo’s stuff, string it up around my house and wait for the babes to appear. Oh yeah, Olivia Wilde, Paris Hilton, Kate Walsh, Whitney Port, Rashida Jones, Maggie Grace, Stacey Dash, Cat Deeley, Lisa Rinna, and Sasha Alexander were also in attendance (in order below).

I’m not sure how 46 year-old Lisa Rinna pulls off looking this good in a bikini, but whatever it is, she really needs to share it with Pamela Anderson. By the way, WTF kind of football is she tossing around there? An invisible one? Good way to get one in the grill… the football… in her right hand… look up… there you go…

Now I know the big news awhile back was Lisa Rinna getting all naked in Playboy. And while I appreciate the effort, I just didn’t really need to see her pancake-sized areolas again. I much prefer her MILFness in a bikini top like back when she was washing her car or like in these pics with her old man on the beach… What do you prefer?

Unfortunately, once again we have the jean shorts/skirt thing happening on the ass-area. The first sexpot to wash a car on camera in a full-out bikini gets a free post here. Now that is a prize worth shooting for, ladies…