Martha Stewart knows what she’s doing out there. Look at how she wiggles her hips in the beginning and even puts a bit of a knowing look on her face, probably like she does while greasing up cabana boys or giving them tips on how a little bit of hot sauce on your prostate can help sustain an erection for longer periods of time.

So yes, I’ll go out on a limb and say that I’d throw one to Martha Stewart. Please tell me I’m not alone in this assessment. I really don’t want our precious readers thinking I sit at home fapping away to Golden Girls episodes (excluding the episode where Rose and Blanche wrestled in a pool of Jello which I may or may not have imagined in one of my drunken stupors).

The only way this photo from her show from Tuesday could have been more reflective of Martha’s preferences in a gentleman is if it were a big black Yodel that smacked her on the lips repeatedly then exploded all over her face.

[The video is fun too]