If you can make it, you can deep fry it. Predator logic has infiltrated McDonald’s restaurants in Austria where they’ll be serving a deep fried McRib called the McRibster.

According to Eater, the limited-release sandwich contains the deep fried McRib pork, bacon, pepper-Jack ]]>

If you can make it, you can deep fry it. Predator logic has infiltrated McDonald’s restaurants in Austria where they’ll be serving a deep fried McRib called the McRibster.

According to Eater, the limited-release sandwich contains the deep fried McRib pork, bacon, pepper-Jack cheese, iceberg lettuce, red onion, honey-mustard sauce and spicy sweet chili sauce. The dreams of a deep fried McRib combined with the stopping power of bacon have finally been realized.

If you find yourself in Austria sometime in the next month, you may be in luck: The McRibster is available to make its way into your heart — literally — until March 27th.

When you need a burger, sometimes you just need a burger. At least, that’s what I’m extrapolating from the case of Shanaya Edgell, a woman who went apesh-t at a Wisconsin McDonald’s since she couldn’t get a cheeseburger at 3AM. According to Janesville, Wisc. police, 22-year-old Shanaya Edgell went to ]]>

When you need a burger, sometimes you just need a burger. At least, that’s what I’m extrapolating from the case of Shanaya Edgell, a woman who went apesh-t at a Wisconsin McDonald’s since she couldn’t get a cheeseburger at 3AM.

The elusive and hard to find McDonald's cheeseburger

Edgell yelled and then allegedly got livid with her boyfriend, biting his arm and then ripping off his shirt. It’s unclear what he did to provoke the attack.

After calming down, Edgell then told her boyfriend she changed her mind and would get the breakfast. But then she allegedly began beating the boyfriend again, hitting him the face and biting his arm once more.

As the boyfriend tried to drive away, Edgell allegedly climbed on top of the roof of the car to stop him from going.

When a cop asked her why she was on the roof of a car, Edgell replied, “Because I was acting crazy.”

Edgell was arrested for disorderly conduct and is being held on $150 bail. It’s unknown if she has been able to secure a cheeseburger.

This type of behavior is exactly why the cops began their nationwide shut down of #Occupy protests in McDonaldland. Something about the insatiable lust for grease and things that vaguely resemble beef patties just brings out the darkness in people.

Cops: Early Morning McDonald’s Menu Changeover Prompted Wisconsin Woman’s Meltdown [The Smoking Gun]

Did I mention that he’s on a go kart as well?

Okay, in his defense, he’s not supposed to be Master Chief, but the rookie you play as in ODST. Anyhow, the following serves as further proof that the Halo theme can pretty much make everything a hundred times more ]]>

Did I mention that he’s on a go kart as well?

Okay, in his defense, he’s not supposed to be Master Chief, but the rookie you play as in ODST. Anyhow, the following serves as further proof that the Halo theme can pretty much make everything a hundred times more awesome and engaging than it actually is…

A few things:

A. Am I the only one that’s blown away by the amazing lighting in the video? Like seriously.

B. It being a Finnish McDonalds, is their food any different? Like are there little fish on their cheeseburgers?

C. That being said, I wonder if American McDonalds or Finnish McDonald is worse on a dog’s system. Either can’t be great, regardless.

“Ever see a Halo ODST Drive Through McDonalds In a Go-Kart Before?” [Kotaku]

We were sent this video by a tipster and though I know nothing of these girls or their lives, I kind of hate them. In this video, three (maybe four?) drunk British girls act like complete idiots in a (surprisingly extravagant) McDonald’s. The word “slags” comes to mind.

If ]]>

We were sent this video by a tipster and though I know nothing of these girls or their lives, I kind of hate them. In this video, three (maybe four?) drunk British girls act like complete idiots in a (surprisingly extravagant) McDonald’s. The word “slags” comes to mind.

If homosexuality were a choice, this video might be the first video the guys trying to convince you to go gay would show you. In my humble yet discerning opinion, the girls are absolutely hittable and all that. But if I had to hang out with them and listen to their drunken prattle, I’d probably discretely hang myself in the bathroom before that opportunity even arose. There are only so many times you can insincerely say, “Oh my God, you just hopped on a table with your ass in the air while singing a twenty-year-old song, then sloppily took a sip out of a soda! That is uproarious!” while hoping the french fries are salted with boric acid.

I’m still working out how this brings me so much joy (or how I missed this last week), but this Japanese McDonald’s commercial showing kids’ reactions to the newest Spongebob Squarepants Happy Meal toy just works for me, man.

No offense to Spongebob, but if these kids ever got ]]>

I’m still working out how this brings me so much joy (or how I missed this last week), but this Japanese McDonald’s commercial showing kids’ reactions to the newest Spongebob Squarepants Happy Meal toy just works for me, man.

No offense to Spongebob, but if these kids ever got their hands on Squidward, I’m pretty sure the entire Japanese universe would collapse upon itself.

It also strikes me as crazy that in a society with videos of people taking dumps on crying Asian women in wedding dresses and tentacle rape porn that a simple Spongebob toy would elicit such a reaction. I suppose that’s just the magic of seeing the world through a child’s eyes. Or psychedelic drugs. Or taking psychedelic drugs and tearing out a child’s eyes, then attempting to look at the world through them. Yep. Definitely the last one.

What Are They Putting In Those Happy Meals!? Japanese Kids Freaking Out To Spongebob Toys At McDonalds! [World Star Hip Hop]

Adrian Peterson really had to go, and at three in the morning he had no choice but to stand outside a McDonalds drive-thru and use his puppy-dog eyes to garner sympathy from an employee.

Of course, when a woman recognized Peterson as a NFL star, well, ]]>

Adrian Peterson really had to go, and at three in the morning he had no choice but to stand outside a McDonalds drive-thru and use his puppy-dog eyes to garner sympathy from an employee.

Of course, when a woman recognized Peterson as a NFL star, well, her panties dropped. And in a completely unrelated matter, she let him in so he could do his business. Unfortunately, Ronald McDonald and the head honchos at the Golden Arches came down mercilessly on the willing young woman and fired her.

“He’s a public figure… I know him better than some of the maintenance people that come in and out,” she explained. “I never thought in a million years that that decision was going to cost me my career.”

But that’s exactly what happened later that week, when the mother of three was fired from her gig at the Golden Arches.

She attempted to reach out to Peterson through his Facebook page in the hope that he could say something on her behalf, but to no avail.

A.P. you ahole–your pea-sized bladder got this chick canned and you couldn’t even make a call for her? Damn man. I understand you didn’t want to admit you had the munchies at 3 a.m. but that’s harsh brother.

Luckily, McDonalds figured out that nobody willingly wanted to replace her on the night shift and rehired her a week later. Not easy to replace cheap, midnight labor, is it McDonalds? Yea, I thought so.

Woman Fired From McDonald’s For Letting Adrian Peterson Use The Bathroom [Consumerist]

In a story that proves that a real-life version of the Hamburglar is far less charming, a Missouri man entered a McDonald’s after closing and insisted they give him hamburgers. While pointing a shotgun at them. Police say the 27-year-old man pulled into the drive through, ]]>

In a story that proves that a real-life version of the Hamburglar is far less charming, a Missouri man entered a McDonald’s after closing and insisted they give him hamburgers. While pointing a shotgun at them.

Police say the 27-year-old man pulled into the drive through, only to be told that it was too late to get food.

He then pulled a shotgun out of his car and told the employee that his six-month pregnant wife would kill him if he didn’t come home with burgers.

The man is currently in custody, being held on $5,000 bail. He is charged with unlawful use of a weapon and driving while intoxicated.

I’m personally a fan of how he blamed the wife for pulling out a shotgun. You know what they say…behind every great man planning on using a shotgun to get burgers from McDonald’s after closing is a great woman threatening to kill him.

Either way, you know this fetus is going places. Any time a charming story your parents will tell to you at future family gatherings involves a shotgun, jail time, and impersonating an iconic fast food character, your life is headed on the right track.

Would-be-robber pulls shotgun, demands McDonald’s burgers [KSDK]

This isn’t so much a Quote of the Day as it is a public service. The McRib is making a lot of noise since it’s back in McDonald’s for a limited time. But we have good news..someone slaved over a recipe to make a serviceable replacement and got all the ]]>

This isn’t so much a Quote of the Day as it is a public service. The McRib is making a lot of noise since it’s back in McDonald’s for a limited time. But we have good news..someone slaved over a recipe to make a serviceable replacement and got all the flavors just right. Now you can make your own McRib at home. In your face, clown.

Last week, McDonald’s reintroduced the McRib — its cultish take on a barbecue pork sandwich— to its menu for, as they say, a limited time only. First introduced to the fast-food canon in the early ’80s, the McRib fared poorly and was pulled after a few years, only to be brought back every so often to much hype and popular obsession. Even when it’s not available, it gets a fair bit of airplay from fans and enemies alike. This little sandwich with just five components — sandwich roll, onions, pickle slices, barbecue sauce, and a single hunk of pork — lands so much attention. And yet it could be so much better! I was inspired to make a superior version right at home.

Learn how to make your own McRib here.

There must be something in McNuggets that I’m missing since they seem to induce a lot of rage and violence. Now added to the fray: A brawl broke at at an undisclosed McDonald’s that left a couple people injured. The cause? McNuggets, naturally.

My favorite part of ]]>

There must be something in McNuggets that I’m missing since they seem to induce a lot of rage and violence. Now added to the fray: A brawl broke at at an undisclosed McDonald’s that left a couple people injured. The cause? McNuggets, naturally.

My favorite part of the video is the couple who exchanges a passionate kiss at the end of the scuffle. Because if there’s any time to realize that you love each other, it’s after yanking the hair of other pudgy vagrants over fried faux chicken meat. That’s what love is, my brothers.

The McRib is slated to be returning to McDonald’s in the next month and this is leading to several looks at the growth and people’s love affair with the sandwich. But this look at McRib aficionados in the Wall Street Journal transcends all others.

Before ]]>

The McRib is slated to be returning to McDonald’s in the next month and this is leading to several looks at the growth and people’s love affair with the sandwich. But this look at McRib aficionados in the Wall Street Journal transcends all others.

Before traveling to visit his parents in Nebraska last winter, Jeremy Duensing consulted what he always checks before a trip: the “McRib Locator” website.

To his delight, he found a McDonald’s restaurant near Omaha that, unlike most of the burger chain’s 14,000 U.S. restaurants, had the McRib on its menu. He bought six of the pork sandwiches, ate one right away at the restaurant, and carried the rest home to Burnsville, Minn., in an ice-packed cooler.

“Either you find places that have them or you’re out of luck for the rest of the year,” says Mr. Duensing, 34 years old.

“It has a ghostly quality,” says Mr. [Ryan] Dixon, a 30-year-old graphic novelist. “You don’t know when it will appear. It’s the girl who you are in love with who has always been a tease to you.”

Bona Fide Fans Chase Rib-Free Rib Sandwich [WSJ]

As many a drunken college kid can tell you, you can’t walk through a drive-thru at a fast food restaurant. However, apparently, you can ride a horse through, as seen in this video. Worth keeping a spare horse around for, I’d say.

The best part of the video is ]]>

As many a drunken college kid can tell you, you can’t walk through a drive-thru at a fast food restaurant. However, apparently, you can ride a horse through, as seen in this video. Worth keeping a spare horse around for, I’d say.

The best part of the video is obviously the accents. If these guys were American assholes doing this, I’d probably just scoff at them. But here, I think it’s a triumph of ingenuity. Is is so much to ask that all crazy schemes are presented in slurring British (?) accents? I think not.

Drunk Man At McDonald’s Horse-Thru [Buzzfeed]

We covered the story of Melodi Dushane and her McNugget rage back in January but, for some reason, the security camera footage is just going viral now. Given that this is the first McNugget-based violence I’ve seen on film, it’s worth the watch.

The back story, in ]]>

We covered the story of Melodi Dushane and her McNugget rage back in January but, for some reason, the security camera footage is just going viral now. Given that this is the first McNugget-based violence I’ve seen on film, it’s worth the watch.

The back story, in case you don’t feel like clicking the link above: Dushane wanted McNuggets, but it was 6:30 AM. So after Dushane was told they had no McNuggets available at this time, she reacted logically and maturely by assaulting the drive-thru employee. With class.

Anyway, here’s to you, Melodi. May your violent outbursts make lunch time in prison an enjoyable experience for all your fellow inmates.

There’s a certain art to being a shoplifter when you’re doing it right. A grace, even. But when you’re not artful, you may end up like this South Carolina woman who stole a sandwich from McDonald’s by shoving it down the front of her pants. Employees ]]>

There’s a certain art to being a shoplifter when you’re doing it right. A grace, even. But when you’re not artful, you may end up like this South Carolina woman who stole a sandwich from McDonald’s by shoving it down the front of her pants.

Employees at the local McDonald’s told police that the woman, Lori Turner, bought two sandwiches and two small coffees. The woman then took one of the sandwiches and shoved it into her pants, demanding that employees owed her a free one.

Turner allegedly got belligerent after the employees refused to give her another sandwich, leading to the employees calling 911.

Upon arrival, the deputy heard Turner screaming profanities at the workers. He then asked Turner to step outside and, when she did, he witnessed a large grease stain in the front of her pants. According to a WYFF report:

Turner denied having the sandwich until a female officer arrived to search her. The deputy said at that point, Turner pulled the sandwich out of her pants and put it on the hood of the police car.

Turner was charged with disorderly conduct and was refunded her money. One can only assume the sandwich took several showers in the McDonald’s sink afterwards, rubbing itself with a bun, rocking back and forth, and muttering “Still unclean. Still unclean.”

Deputies: Woman Shoved Sandwich In Her Pants [WYFF]

The game “Cooking Mama” has been a huge success in both the US and in Japan because people love doing in video games what they outright refuse to do in real life. McDonald’s in Japan has taken to using their own branded Nintendo DSi’s to use a ]]>

The game “Cooking Mama” has been a huge success in both the US and in Japan because people love doing in video games what they outright refuse to do in real life. McDonald’s in Japan has taken to using their own branded Nintendo DSi’s to use a similar concept for training employees. And it’s actually kind of cool.

That’s a pretty cool concept. It’s like how the Army uses video games to train recruits for the difficulties of war. Only instead of blood shed, you’re dealing with the explosive diarrhea of a stranger due to the fact that the human intestines are not meant to process the horrific chemicals that combine to create a McGriddle.

Batteries, along with the realization that working at McDonald’s is a lot more soul crushing than it is in a cartoonishly adorable video game, are not included.

The McDonalds Nintendo DSi [Kotaku]

The song is fairly catchy as far as modern disco/techno goes, but the real selling point of this music video for the song “Rad Anthem” by the band Rad Omen is the inclusion of several fast food icons. Ronald McDonald, Colonel Sanders, The King, Jack in the Box, Wendy, and ]]>

The song is fairly catchy as far as modern disco/techno goes, but the real selling point of this music video for the song “Rad Anthem” by the band Rad Omen is the inclusion of several fast food icons. Ronald McDonald, Colonel Sanders, The King, Jack in the Box, Wendy, and more make an appearance in this drug-fueled strip club adventure that might double as the coolest music video in years.

There must be something about fast food that just makes people want to commit assault (see: Cheeseburger Josh). One New Jersey man showed he was not going to take the indignity of not getting his Filet-o-Fish fast enough at a local McDonald’s, slapping an employee in the face ]]>

There must be something about fast food that just makes people want to commit assault (see: Cheeseburger Josh). One New Jersey man showed he was not going to take the indignity of not getting his Filet-o-Fish fast enough at a local McDonald’s, slapping an employee in the face and climbing through the drive thru window to get the sandwich himself.

Police said the customer crawled out of his car and into the drive thru window to get his fish sandwich, after slapping the McDonald’s employee in the face.

“His Filet-O-Fish was taking too long at 4:30 in the morning,” said South Brunswick Police Detective Sergeant James Ryan to NBCNewYork.

Perhaps suggesting how hungry the suspect was, Ryan said he then threatened the employee by telling him “I’ll be waiting for you when you get off work.”

The police report said the suspect “then walked out of the store with his fish filet sandwich,” went to his car, still parked in the drive thru lane and left.

McDonald’s Customer Crawls Through Drive-Thru for Fish Sandwich [NBC New York (also includes video of the assault)]

Anyone who’s been out late at night and been at any fast food place around 3AM knows that some of the clientele in the area are a bit, shall we see, unsavory. If you haven’t been there, here’s some video proof of a pudgy man called “Cheeseburger Josh” and his ]]>

Anyone who’s been out late at night and been at any fast food place around 3AM knows that some of the clientele in the area are a bit, shall we see, unsavory. If you haven’t been there, here’s some video proof of a pudgy man called “Cheeseburger Josh” and his simple desire for a cheeseburger leading to all sorts of problems. Audio and parts of the video may be NSFW.

I for one am stunned that a loud man in an Affliction t-shirt would be poorly attempting to represent himself as an alpha male.

Here’s a tip from my experience in similar situations…if you end up in a fight with someone and you don’t know them, don’t ask, “Are you done?” It may make you look in control, but it’s just going to prolong the situation. Ideally, you should wait until the person either has a broken limb or is bleeding profusely before asking that. There’s no room for kindness when you’re grappling on the floor of a McDonald’s [ED. NOTE: It's actually a Whataburger according to a commenter below and that appears to be accurate. My apologies, as I've never heard of such a magical food chain. But at the same time, I'll also be damned if I rewrite a punchline for this. So let's still say it was McDonald's.]. It’s like a modern day Roman Colosseum, only instead of an audience of spectators, there’s just the Hamburglar’s judgmental eyes staring at you. He knows that we all want a cheeseburger…but at what cost?

A man passed out in a McDonald’s play place (you know, the ball pit and slides) and, come on, who hasn’t been there? But what made it much worse was that he did it with his two young children, whom he instructed to bite the officers faces off for razzing ]]>

A man passed out in a McDonald’s play place (you know, the ball pit and slides) and, come on, who hasn’t been there? But what made it much worse was that he did it with his two young children, whom he instructed to bite the officers faces off for razzing him. Which is how kids should be used…as violent weapons and soldiers at your command.

Police in Colorado say they arrested a 28-year-old man accused of passing out in a McDonald’s play area and telling his two children to bite the officers who were trying to arrest him.

Colorado Springs police say officers had to use a Taser on Joshua Alger to subdue him Wednesday after he allegedly passed out drunk at the fast-food restaurant.

Police say Alger refused officers’ orders and at one point told his children to “bite the officers’ faces off.”

[WKYC]

Nobody ever said working for McDonald’s would be easy: According to a report in the Telegraph a Dutch court just ruled in favor of a woman who claimed wrongful termination after being from McDonald’s. The reason given? She gave a coworker buying a sandwich an extra slice ]]>

Nobody ever said working for McDonald’s would be easy: According to a report in the Telegraph a Dutch court just ruled in favor of a woman who claimed wrongful termination after being from McDonald’s. The reason given? She gave a coworker buying a sandwich an extra slice of cheese.

The worker was fired at a McDonald’s branch in the northern town of Lemmer in March last year for giving a colleague on a break a more expensive cheese burger instead of the hamburger she had paid for.

McDonald’s claimed she had broken the rules, which prohibit any free gifts to family, friends or colleagues.

“The dismissal was too severe a measure,” the district court in Leeuwarden, in the north of the Netherlands, said in a written judgment.

“It is just a slice of cheese.”

A written warning would have been a more appropriate punishment, said the court, which ordered the fast-food chain to pay the worker the salary for the remaining five months of her contract – a total of 4,265.47 euros (£3,660) [ED NOTE: About $5908 in the US aka one f-load of burgers WITH cheese].

I don’t know what’s more surprising about this story: That McDonald’s would be simultaneously so stern and so callous or that McDonald’s employees have contracts. I’m pretty stunned by the latter. You mean you have to sign employees to a contract to flip burgers and contain themselves from not molesting the ceramic statue of Ronald McDonald? Is this a belabored process like when an athlete signs with a new team in free agency? “Tammy was a great employee, but when she asked for a three-year deal, we knew we had to let her walk, even if it meant giving Burger King a stacked roster of fry grease-changers.”

[Telegraph]