You’re sitting on the couch when your girlfriend/wife/roommate you’re secretly in love with comes into the living room all dressed up and looking uh-mazing. Your mouth drops open, and…nothing. You don’t know what to say, because you don’t want to accidentally stick your foot in your mouth with an ill-received ]]>

You’re sitting on the couch when your girlfriend/wife/roommate you’re secretly in love with comes into the living room all dressed up and looking uh-mazing. Your mouth drops open, and…nothing. You don’t know what to say, because you don’t want to accidentally stick your foot in your mouth with an ill-received compliment.

I get it. Ladies are mysterious creatures who’ve confounded you over the years with our often illogical rules about what you can and can’t say about how we look. But we want to hear the nice things you have to say, just like you want the points for saying them. So here’s a quick guide on complimenting the fairer sex without fumbling your lines.

1. Pick one thing.
Saying “You look great” is appreciated, and if you mean it, say so, but getting specific makes her know you really noticed. Maybe she’s wearing a sparkly new skirt, or her hair looks really shiny. Whatever it is that first catches your eye, take note and tell her.

2. Keep it (kind of) classy.
Do you remember that awful Akon song that was on the radio every five seconds last year? “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful.” Why on earth would you describe someone you’re interested disrespectfully? This made no sense to me. A general rule of thumb: you’re welcome to compliment our butt or boobs when we’re in a relationship. You don’t want to tell a girl her “ass looks amazing in those jeans” on the third date. C’mon son. You’re better than that.

3. Use your words.
Even if those words are “nice” or “pretty.” You do not need to know that my sweater is aubergine, but if you like how the purple-y color looks with my hair, tell me. We’re not looking for sonnets. I don’t even like poetry. Make your point, let us blush madly, then move on. Or go in for a kiss. You won’t be rebuffed.

4. Just say it.
Seriously, girls are whores for compliments (or at least, this one is) ((not in any improper sense, just I cannot get enough of them. I don’t, like, do weird stuff if you say I look pretty today)). If you ever want to compliment your lady, dive right in. Any lady in fact. If your barista at Starbucks washed her hair and changed her nose ring, comment on it. If your mother got a haircut, mention it. She will appreciate that you noticed. Really.

The sad news for most of us is that once you get out of college, it’s a snowball rolling downhill to middle age. The good news: When you get there and face your own midlife mortality, you’ll buy lots of ridiculous stuff. Our friends from the Credit ]]>

The sad news for most of us is that once you get out of college, it’s a snowball rolling downhill to middle age. The good news: When you get there and face your own midlife mortality, you’ll buy lots of ridiculous stuff. Our friends from the Credit Score Blog suggest you look out for these 10 purchases that may indicate a midlife crisis.

It’s not easy being a guy posing for a photo. But it’s even worse when you’re an older man trying to be a part of young women’s worlds. Most of the time you’ll end up coming off as nothing more than a creepy old man ruining a perfectly good ]]>

It’s not easy being a guy posing for a photo. But it’s even worse when you’re an older man trying to be a part of young women’s worlds. Most of the time you’ll end up coming off as nothing more than a creepy old man ruining a perfectly good photo… and probably their night.

*Note: All of these photos were tagged on a photo-sharing site with some variety of “creepy old man”, so these are definitely all legit.

14 Staring-in-your-face guy

The tag on this photo was something to the effect of “That creepy old guy who kept staring into Ali’s eyes”. If your skin looks like poorly marinated beef jerky, you may want to realize that gawking at younger tail isn’t a good way to appear like a well-adjusted older man. Or sane.

13 Dreamy guy

Staring dreamily at someone is cool if you’re a cute teenage girl. When you’re an old man with a full mustache, you merely look like you’re pondering how good their stuffed head will look above your mantle.

12 Sneak-a-peek guy

Sneaking a peak is okay. Everyone does it. But what you don’t want to do is get caught and immortalized forever on some Web site. On the plus side, no doubt that image went into that old man’s spank bank for at least a month while his hideous wife castrated him about not taking care of the lawn gnomes.

11 Me too guy

No matter how much you’d like to be a part of the world of these young girls, you never will be. So maybe you shouldn’t pose in their picture. Instead, discretely snip locks of their hair and make your own young woman out of it. At least then you’re only embarrassing yourself privately. And you got free hair!

10 Mustache guy

I don’t know what it is about having a full mustache that makes you more inclined to stare at young women but these two men certainly have their game down pat. First you get the mustache, then you get the crawl space, axe, and an alibi, then you get the women.

9 Molester guy

If you insist on posing for a photo with a younger girl, if the photo comes out with you looking like child molesting Uncle Bobby Knight, you may just want to give up on the dating scene at bars and focus more on the happening crowd at Mahjong events.

8 Open shirt guy

Sir, no matter how open your shirt is or how much liquor you ply these ladies with, they’re not going to think you’re Juan Carlos, the Latin Lover. More likely, you’ll be seen as Rufio, That Guy Who Kept Trying to Pop Pills in That Sorority Girl’s Drink.

7 Take a picture guy

Taking a photo with an excitement that says “I like to keep scrapbooks of all the sexy ladies I encounter” will not win you anything more than women running away in horror. On the plus side, with your sensibly fitting khakis, the world will know the joy you get from your photography pastime.

6 Smiley guy

Sir, these ladies don’t want you in their photos or their lives. No, your ability to bug your eyes out in a really scary fashion doesn’t make you more appealing, contrary to what the special on the mating habits of the sloth on Animal Planet may have told you.

5 Hairy shirtless guy

This guy isn’t as old as the others, just older than the girls, but seriously, odds are if you meet a group of girls and you’re shirtless and drunk and not chiseled out of stone, they probably aren’t as interested in you making sexual poses with them as you might think. Remember: Women are evil by nature and will embarrass you for their amusement. Well, slightly more so than wearing an armband with your shirtless hairy body might already be responsible for.

4 Metal detector guy

Wish all you want, you’re not going to receive many positive reactions when you tell young girls on the beach that you want to “check where their bathing suit covers” for gold.

3 Sweaty, comb-over guy

If there were any three things I’d say are least likely to attract a younger woman, “sweaty”, “combed over”, and “gold chain” would probably perform pretty strongly.

2 Hockey guy

This may look like a coach but no. The caption on the photo read “Creepy old guy who came to watch us play hockey once”. Going to random hockey games and hoping to get a “stick check” probably won’t result in many pick-ups.

1 Creepy guy

When you’re someone who looks like this guy, there is no such thing as discretion because everything you do will make you look like a big sweaty pervert. So glance away, it’s a service to society. These girls may think you’re a creep, but you probably boosted all their self esteems a couple notches today.

As a society, we don’t often stop to think about how much has changed in our lives in the past thousand years or even the past dozen. So here’s an infographical look at men throughout the ages.

Bachelor parties are an essential part of male bonding. It’s a last chance for all of your buddies to tell you that you are making the single hugest mistake in the history of time. So it’s important that everybody be comfortable and have a good time. That goes double ]]>

Bachelor parties are an essential part of male bonding. It’s a last chance for all of your buddies to tell you that you are making the single hugest mistake in the history of time. So it’s important that everybody be comfortable and have a good time. That goes double for the groom because it’s probably his last night of free-wheeling fun until the ink dries on the divorce papers (it’s not cynical–simply look at the numbers).

Fortunately, it’s easy to have a good time so long as you keep from making any of the following mistakes:

1 Leaving the soon-to-be groom behind

This is rule #1. It is his day, so the ball is always in his hands. He may need some prodding to partake in certain activities throughout the day, but ultimately everything you guys do is his call. So if he doesn’t want to go to the next bar–then nobody goes to the next bar without his permission. It’s just common decency. Getting married only happens on two or three occasions in lifetime. Weddings are the woman’s day. Bachelor parties are the man’s day. Try and remember that he’ll be the guy planning your bachelor party. You screw him over on his day and he has every right to do the same to you.

2Pass out at an inappropriate time or place

Guys usually get pretty drunk at bachelor parties. And by “pretty” I mean “fall down, pretend to hump inanimate objects, stupid” drunk. But if you’re gonna drink like an idiot, you had better be able to keep yourself out of trouble. Nobody wants to be in the middle of the bar and ask, “Where’s Todd?” Well, Todd had a few too many shots of Jameson and is currently passed out in the ball pit at a McDonald’s Playland. Bad form, Todd. If you can’t keep better control of yourself than that, you will surely get your comeuppance from Mayor McCheese.

3 Forgetting to reserve transportation

For the most part, everyone in your party will probably have at least a few drinks. It’s best to not chance having someone in the party be a designated driver. No one likes to chauffeur a group full of drunks around for an entire night when everyone is supposed to have a good time. So be sure to get the number for a cab or rent a limo for the night. That way you never have to stress about getting everyone from place to place or cleaning out Uncle Jimmy’s puke from the backseat of your Jetta.

4Throw it at a place that no one is interested in going to

A dive bar, a golf course, strip club, the Super Bowl, and Vegas are all places that most guys would enjoy spending a few hours drinking and laughing. Miniature golf, church meetings, anything having to do with Michael Bolton or a night at the opera are probably places that will bore your party right back to their hotel. Venue is everything during a bachelor party. It sets the tone for the night. So it’s important to find a place everyone will have a good time. If all else fails just take a vote and book wherever it is that most people (and the groom) want to go.

5 Don’t help pay for things

Bachelor parties are a right of passage for a lot of men. You are expected to pony up a little green for something that is basically a going away party for a buddy because, unfortunately he’s probably not going to be around all that much anymore once that ring hits his finger. So for one night he gets a free pass. Booze, drugs, lap dances, greens fees, bail money– these should all be taken care of by the other guys at the party. If you don’t have as much, then just figure a way to give what you can; but don’t try and partake in the festivities without throwing some cash in the pot. That’s just bush league.

6 Slip a roofie into the Jagermeister

Save that for the sorority mixer with Alpha Chi Omega, Daterape McFratboy. No reason to ruin a good time and someone else’s special night because you wanted to be “The Funny Guy” like Zach Galifanakis in The Hangover. The world will have to somehow survive without your special brand of “penises drawn on a passed out guy.”

7 Say something stupid to the bride’s father/brother

“Hey (insert grooms name here), remember that time in Tijuana and we met those twin double-jointed masseuse gymnast hookers? Then we went and bought all those Mexican Xanax and cheap tequila and went completely crazy. When we woke up the next day, you were missing a kidney and I was stark naked in a Tijuana jail cell? I can’t believe this guy has never heard that story! Next time we go down to you, you are coming. I’m serious. We know a lady down there that can suck an raw egg through a crazy straw without breaking it. You’re coming! Next time (points to eyes) you’re coming!”

Don’t be that guy.

8 Accidentally kill a stripper

Not cool, Guy! Does this actually happen? Not from my bachelor party experience. But if movies have taught us anything, it’s that you should always have a shovel in the trunk when attending a bachelor party. Better safe than sorry.

Video games have been getting a bad rap by a lot of people recently, and it seems that a good deal of women (who make good points) are becoming increasingly upset at their boyfriends for spending more time playing video games than they are spending on their ]]>

Video games have been getting a bad rap by a lot of people recently, and it seems that a good deal of women (who make good points) are becoming increasingly upset at their boyfriends for spending more time playing video games than they are spending on their relationship.

Now, I don’t want to argue that women are wrong about the situation or that men are at fault for playing too much; but men do have some very good and specific reasons for involving themselves with video games. For most men, playing video games in moderation is a fun, exciting, and can even become a stress relieving experience. Here are a few of the reasons men love playing video games so much.

1 Friends

Video gamers aren’t the lonely guys in their basement anymore. There has always been this belief that men who play video games are loner, loser type of guys, but these days all the major consoles have large internet gaming communities such as Xbox Live that connect players to other players all around the globe. You could be running special ops with a buddy in Nevada or watching Peyton Manning cheaply throw passes over your head thanks to an unknown opponent in Bangalore in a matter of seconds. Either way, we are interacting with friends and fellow gamers all over the world. Oddly enough, video games have probably become one of the more socially active hobbies you can have these days.

2 We were raised on them

Most folks in the 40 and under crowd probably spent a portion of their childhood mashing buttons during Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out or feeling the wrath of the red turtle shell in Mario Kart. Video games are familiar to most of us and therefore give us a semblance of comfort while playing them. I mean, there might have been a point where I couldn’t go to sleep unless someone played the Legend of Zelda theme song on a sitar. My early twenties were a brutal time.

3 You can watch and rent movies on most consoles

Internet connection has really moved video game consoles to the forefront of many media/entertainment systems. You can surf the web, check your Facebook, and even tweet from your console. You can also add your Netflix queue to your console and watch movies instantly. Plus, the PS3 is a Blu-ray player. It often makes media watching easier and hassle free. So we can watch “Legally Blonde” with our beautiful girlfriend…right after we infiltrate and nuke this armory. Watch out if they ever combine these two, especially if you’re Reese Witherspoon.

4 We’re competitive

Men are almost always competitive on some level. Height, weight, and athletic ability really play no part in our PS3 experience. That kind of makes video games the ultimate equal playing field for men because everyone involved basically starts with the exact same/similar character or team. So even your not-so-svelte friends can run you down on Madden or kick your ass in Street Fighter 2. And have you seen Xbox Live? There are gamer scores and in-game achievements that pit everyone playing against each other for the title of free-time supremacy. I meant “on-line” supremacy…and a lot of gamers take their gamer scores very, very seriously.

5 It’s an escape from (most) people

Men often times enjoy getting away from the womenfolk for awhile. Most find golf to be horrifically boring, so each guy always has something he usually enjoys doing when in the company of his guy friends. A lot of times we just want bragging rights and a free 6-pack, but for a good number of men these days video games are used as a sort of mini-escape from the tedium of everyday life. Whether it’s in a group of friends or all by ourselves, men seem to need more “Duh” time than women. It’s nothing personal (unless it is), but sometimes guys just have to sit down and do something mind numbing to unwind from our day. Games can sometimes be a solitary solution to an annoyed with people problem and keep us from punching Steve from accounting, one ruined goomba family at a time.

6 We really like grenade launchers

Like a lot a lot. You’ll nary find a male who isn’t instantly enthralled by the thought of the possession of a grenade launcher. They are big, they are loud, and when we go down to the nearest Army base to ask if we can “borrow” one for “personal reasons,” the guards never give us one. Video game grenade launchers are as close as most men get to sending grenades wildly careening at tanks full of Nazi soldiers or (possibly) abandoned drug dens full of C-4. It’s why we love the 4th of July so much; men love when things are constantly exploding. It’s been that way for us from Day 1 and it’ll stay that way till the dirty apes pry the virtual grenades from my cold, dead hands.

7 It’s the closest we’re ever going to get to the Super Bowl or saving a Princess

Look, most men have peaked athletically by the time they hit 18. That doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy playing in faux games of great meaning, such as the Super Bowl or taking the Blue Jackets to the Cup. Usually the buildup in video games takes a great deal of time and effort, so what looks to be a meaningless game of Madden to most people may have taken months for the player to achieve. And that goes double for guys involved in role-playing games that could actually take years to advance their characters. Sometimes it feels like more than a game to us. We know it’s fake, but so are Heidi Montag’s boobs and Spencer Pratt’s talent; you don’t hear us complaining about you reading US Weekly, do you?

8 We got this giant TV for that reason

Look how awesome that looks on that television! I’m stating to think they did that on purpose! This TV was simply made for playing Rock Band. Or getting stoned and passing out and watching the Xbox visual screen saver. Either/or, really.

9 It kills time

Reading was a good past time for people back in Mark Twain’s day. But then again so was going on unaccompanied rafting trips with strangers and growing lawless mustaches. Things have changed for the world when it comes to entertainment. Video games have become more complicated than just running a little Italian man through a castle consisting mostly of molten lava and mutant turtles. Now most games have huge the sprawling landscapes that they you can explore and games with complex and complicated missions. Taking five other buddies on a mission to completely incapacitate a KGB spy ring or embarking on epic quests that sometimes last for several days on World Of Warcraft is not uncommon during a modern gaming experience. It’s a hobby for a lot of people and aren’t hobbies just another way of somebody saying that there is a certain way they enjoy wasting time in-between work?

10 They’re fun

I mean we all know this right? The graphics are sick, the game play is more intense than ever, and games these days are just more enjoyable for people of all sizes and ages. So now that I made my spiel can we get one, Mom?

I have a hat that I got in a truck stop in Alabama that states, “I spend my money on booze, women and gambling. The rest I waste.” The hat made an excellent point. Men have a tendency to sometime waste money. The hat was different. It was the ]]>

I have a hat that I got in a truck stop in Alabama that states, “I spend my money on booze, women and gambling. The rest I waste.” The hat made an excellent point. Men have a tendency to sometime waste money. The hat was different. It was the best $3.99 I ever spent. The hat got many compliments as I made my way home from Tuscaloosa. My girlfriend at the time thought the hat was the dumbest purchase I ever made when I arrived back at school. She said that it was something only a guy would waste his money on. Maybe she was right. Better yet, maybe my hat was right. In the eyes of women, men of all shapes and sizes seem to find new and fun ways to waste money everyday. Here are a few examples of things ladies will always argue that we spend a little too much disposable income on…

1 Booze

Some guys just like to go out after a hard week of work and relax with a stiff drink. And then there are a few of us that need several to tens of drinks to relax after a stressful week of work. A good portion of men usually have a go-to drink that they order once in a while for certain reasons or occasions;
whether it’s just a bottle of cheap whiskey, to a bottle of Jack Daniels. Or maybe it’s a few shots of Johnny Walker Blue Label. There is nothing in the world that a good bottle of whiskey or glass of Scotch couldn’t fix. Except herpes. I’m not a doctor, but I’m guessing almost everything but that–whiskey can probably fix. To each his own brew, and keep them coming till I fall out of this stool, barkeep.

2 Strip clubs

We aren’t wasting money here! We are sending poor Candi or Brandi through veterinary school, one dollar at a time. The beer is way more expensive here. Everything is way more expensive at a strip club. If I pay you money, will you gyrate on me and pretend you like being with me for the entirety of “Pour Some Sugar on Me”? Excellent. Your name is “Bambi,” huh? Everyone named Bambi in this world either ends up a stripper or strapped to the hood of someone’s car. Women are actually very right on this front. This place is a waste of hard earned money.

3 Cigars

Usually reserved for the birth of babies, celebrations and golf outings, but sometimes reserved for just relaxing on the back porch; cigars are another of the bonding tools men sometimes go overboard on. Whether it’s trying to find a way to get a box of Cohiba Robustos delivered to our house without United States customs agents involved or buying a solid gold cigar cutter that may or may not have once been used by Stalin–we will sometimes go the extra mile for a good smoke.

4 Barbecue

Do we have enough charcoal? Is this going to be enough chicken? I think we are going to need more beer. Hey look at this, it’s corn on the cob. Do we want to get this and throw it on the grill. You know what I need is more lighter fluid. Maybe we should look at getting a new grill while we’re near Lowes. Ice? I almost forgot the ice. Will you push the cart up to the line while I go grab some Bloody Mary mix? Two hours later and we leave $1000 over our allotted budget with enough alcohol to get the entire state of Rhode Island drunk. Don’t ask me how, but it always happens when guys have a cook out.

5 Gambling

Men are bred from a very early age to be competitive. Combine that with testosterone and the incessant need to best our friends in contests of any kind and you have the reason men are drawn to gambling. We also like to be right. That’s why we don’t ask for directions. Winning means being right and temporarily feeling smarter than someone else; in return those people have to give you money for being wrong. It’s the perfect past time for men. Of course, the line between a few hands of poker and something like gambling your life savings on an exacta bet with horses named “Nyquil“ and “Haggard McSteelhoves,” is pretty wide in most. But all men will usually bet on football, cards, and golf. Just enough things to get us in trouble.

6 Sporting events

It is bonding the best way men know how: By getting drunk on $12 beers and throwing AA batteries at Barry Bonds in left field. Men are territorial, so they usually have one team they lived near or rooted for growing up and then one team that they loathe with every ounce of their being. We will buy stuff with our team logo on it. Some of that stuff will be stupid (probably made of foam) and sold at a yard sale whose date has yet to be determined. Men hate it, but will always pay $15 for the privilege of parking an automobile. We will pack into stadiums of 50,000 at a time and root for men who can hit a ball really far with a stick or run faster than us. There will be nachos and hot dogs and beer. There will be fist fights. We will yell ridiculous encouragement to the players we like (“Nomaaaaaaaahhhh”) and if we were lucky enough to be at Dodgers Stadium on Duracell Battery Night when the Giants came to town, we will sink a good deal of cash into bail.

7 Golf

Not all guys enjoy golf, but a good number of us do. Lots of expensive equipment to buy. There are always new putters and better sand wedges and new Nike drivers with heads the size of large babies. There are always newer alloys and more precise ball trajectory. It seems NASA is now working round-the-clock to bring us better and lighter golf clubs. Plus it is the only sport where we can buy equipment that is literally an extension of our penis. And there’s backspin. And more torque. Better ball flight. Aerodynamically superior. Something about testing in wind tunnels. I mean, these aren’t things you can learn, these are things you have to pay for. And that’s why I’m convinced I need that new Lob Wedge.

8 Cars

Obviously, cars are things that men will shell out large amounts of cash for. There are always new interiors, better speakers and even fuzzier dice to purchase for our automobile. We’ve got tinted windows, double deuces, and spinners. Then there are Armor All wipes, car washes and speeding tickets. Then those tickets lead to higher insurance premiums. It’s a vicious cycle of man vs. posted speed limit that ends up getting our bank involved. Not to mention you have to buy them. Usually. Cars have become a black hole of misplaced funds in the wallets of many great men throughout the years. Sure it’s bad now, but think of the money we will sink in them when they can fly.

9 Women

We spend $80 on a bouquet of flowers that we know are going to be dead and gone in a week. We will hand over hard earned money to get you a box of chocolates we are pretty sure you will never eat. What would posses a human being to spend over $100 on a stuffed animal? Or over $10,000 on an engagement ring? I dunno exactly, but I imagine it has something to do with Dateline NBC or a story on 60 Minutes. “I don’t like French food, but if you do babe, we will eat there tonight.” Not all men make a lot of money. Not all men can buy a special woman the diamond rings, and pearls, and the jet-ski she never knew she wanted, with our paychecks. But you can rest assured ladies, that what we do make, we will always use to keep a smile on your face. SO maybe that’s not a “waste” after all. Do those come in a size 7?

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There’s an alarming trend bubbling under the surface…typically the rule has been that men quickly finish during sex, women get disappointed and/or fake it, and the entire movie audience laughs at men and their inability to sexually satisfy a lady. But new-ish research says that a large percentage of men ]]>

There’s an alarming trend bubbling under the surface…typically the rule has been that men quickly finish during sex, women get disappointed and/or fake it, and the entire movie audience laughs at men and their inability to sexually satisfy a lady. But new-ish research says that a large percentage of men (about 11%) are faking orgasms. So…what now, society?

If you thought that only women faked orgasms, you’d be wrong. Plenty of men fake their way out of the sack. How on earth can a guy even fake an orgasm? What is he going to do, spray dish detergent and try to pass it off as semen? More importantly, why would a man want to pull off this kind of bluff?

Apparently, lots of men fake the Big “O” and some were willing to talk to me about it. I asked men in an online sex forum how many had faked orgasms, and I received some very fascinating – and distressing — answers. Steve found himself in an awkward position when he bedded a woman to whom he was not very attracted, but he felt the pressure to perform. “I wasn’t able to manage to keep it up for long because I really, really wasn’t enjoying myself,” he wrote. “So as I realized that I was going to be a limp noodle at any moment anyway, I pretended to cum then quickly disposed of the condom. Definitely not one of my prouder moments.” Alex expressed similar sentiments when he admitted his reasons and method for faking. ” … there were a variety of reasons. Most commonly, it was just pure boredom and my attention span with someone had ceased or a very determined girl that wouldn’t accept the fact that I just wasn’t going to get off at that moment in time.”

Chris admitted that exhaustion was his reason for faking it. “To be fair, I think each time it was at least the third fuck of the day,” he wrote. “And it was nice at first, but after a while I just wanted it over with. I wouldn’t dream of doing that now though.”

You can read the full article with more anecdotes like that one here.

I don’t think I’ve ever faked an orgasm, that I can recall. There’s been a time or two where I tried to finish it off and just couldn’t, usually due to drunkenness or being sick of the girl. But at that point I think you just go, “Hey, nothing’s coming.” Putting on a big theatrical show like King Claudius getting his comeuppance from Hamlet to pretend like you’re getting off just seems silly. And how can you do that when you’re not wearing protection? I don’t exactly carry around frosting to splash on a girl’s face. Usually.

[Alternet]

In the 1950s, there were promises of flying cars, cleaning robots and self-serving oven appliances … kind of like in The Jetsons. Those times may be over but golly gee, in this day and age we’re just steps away from the future’s doorstep! Here, we’ve compiled a list of ]]>

In the 1950s, there were promises of flying cars, cleaning robots and self-serving oven appliances … kind of like in The Jetsons. Those times may be over but golly gee, in this day and age we’re just steps away from the future’s doorstep! Here, we’ve compiled a list of innovations that’ll not only knock your socks off, but could send George Jetson to the outer limits of the Milky Way.

Let’s start off with all things music. Don’t you just hate when you’re geared up for a killer cardio workout, have your iPod cued up, but there’s one thing that’s slightly off? Your damn ear buds keep popping out of your ears and you spend ¾ of your run trying to make the headphones stay put? Worry no more! The iXoundWear cap has a place for your pod and ear buds; they’re tucked conveniently in a baseball hat. Guess what? You can even match the color of your nano to the color of your cap … how invigorating!

If you’re a winter runner and like the feel of a cold breeze on your body, you may want to go for the Nike Hatphones. It’s pretty much the same concept as the above mentioned, but it’s made with a microfleece material. It’ll keep you toasty whilst jogging the holiday pounds away or shoveling that wonderful driveway of yours.

Now for the foodies! Do you like breakfast in bed? Nothing says laziness like staying in bed with your girl and chewing the fat … literally. The Bacon Alarm Clock has the ability to wake you up with the smell and sizzle of real bacon. Now that’s good service!

After you have your bacon, try some toast … no, really. This convenient time-set toaster may not be a part of your bedroom ambiance but it’s transparent and browns your carb of choice to personal perfection. That sure beats having underdone or blackened toast.

Not that you need to wash dishes with a pork of an alarm clock or a toaster that’s as clear and as friendly as Casper, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a handy dandy dishwasher at your side. This miniature worktop genie, designed by Ibsen Caldas, is the perfect gadget for the green-loving couple or the college roommates that just bought and apartment together in the big city. Technology has advanced so much that we now have innovations such as this one reusing water for two different purposes!

Finally, let’s focus on futuristic odds and ends … ranging from pocket organizers to surprising cell phones.

Sony has created a whole new face for pocket organizers; the Pocket Organizer fits into already-made pockets of any size, has a hard drive, and an ultraBlueTooth that is said to relay info to the “heads-up monitor” in a pair of glasses. Talk about geek sheik! At the risk of getting freakish looks from your peers at the office or from people you may pass on the street for having your hand in your pocket and a grin on your face, you’ll certainly be grinning in futuristic style.

How about purchasing a pen that not only looks quite handsome, but also feeds bodily information to you within 10 minutes or so? I kid you not; the Liquid Microarray Fountain Pen has a built in DNA analyzer! Fellas, this is NOT your father’s pen (especially if your father is OJ Simpson).

The masterminds at Apple have done it again! Leave those manila folders that you have used to file paperwork in the dust because what I’m offering up next will blow your mind. May I present to you, the Macbook File Folder. This little guy looks just like a real manila filing folder, and comes in an array of colors to match your personality. Another added bonus is that it can also be stored with no problem.

Are you sick and tired of attempting to remember to charge your cell phone … you know, that minute electronic device that is your LIFE! And what happens when you’re caught off guard on the side of the road having to call for automobile assistance with a low battery? Ulysse Nardin, aka Father Time in my book, created a cell phone that uses kinetic energy to charge the cell’s battery … while it’s powered on!

And last but not least, you may need to purchase a fortune telling watch. “Is that possible,” you ask? Yes! Swiss watchmakers Borgeaud have apparently teamed up with mystic and magical people to create such a product. Bad omens be gone, you can count on that.

There are countless other futuristic innovations out there in today’s ever-changing society, but we have brought you the coolest, most manly and killer products around. Go download The Jetsons theme song off iTunes and start your shopping!

Many men often like to joke about women being completely illogical in variety of ways. But rarely are we able to find hard scientific evidence to back it up. Well, here’s something for your arsenal: A new study commissioned by a fashion Web site reveals that nearly 80 percent of ]]>

Many men often like to joke about women being completely illogical in variety of ways. But rarely are we able to find hard scientific evidence to back it up. Well, here’s something for your arsenal: A new study commissioned by a fashion Web site reveals that nearly 80 percent of women buying clothing items that they know they would never wear. Makes sense.

Women’s fascination for new clothes has long been established. Now, a new study has said that nearly 80 per cent of them buy something knowing that they would never wear them.

The survey, which interviewed 1,623 women aged 18-30 in Britain, also found that 91 per cent of women have an item in their cupboard that still has the tags on.

More over, a quarter wear only 10 per cent of the clothes in their wardrobes, according to the findings of the survey commissioned by Mycelebrityfashion.co.uk.

Additionally, 84 percent said they keep clothes that are too small for them and 46 percent claimed they had items over 10 years old in the hopes that “it would come back in fashion.” Makes sense. I’m really looking forward to the day in which we can all see fifty-year-old women strutting around in just like the glory days of Flashdance. Nothing says sexy and fashionable like exposed wrinkly skin with a low hanging sweater and withered ovaries falling out of your leg warmers.

This is really a key difference between men and women though. Men also have old things that they’ll keep in their wardrobe for decades too. The thing is that many men will still wear them. I’ve owned boxers that I’ve worn until they were so shredded by the washing machine that they basically became crotchless panties. While that may not be “fashionable,” I’d counter by saying that you haven’t lived until you’ve felt yourself flopping in the breeze like a dog with its head out the car window.

[Daily Mail]

Every guy on the planet talks to their buddies about women. We talk about how you look, how you dress, how you act when you’re with your friends, about that time you did that thing and told us to never talk about it, but that we couldn’t NOT tell ]]>

Every guy on the planet talks to their buddies about women. We talk about how you look, how you dress, how you act when you’re with your friends, about that time you did that thing and told us to never talk about it, but that we couldn’t NOT tell our friends about. As one of my best friends used to say, “There’s always a girl and a story…”

Now, I’m guessing that if a guy knows a woman that partakes in any of these activities is talked about often. These are not rules or even “secrets,” I guess, but more along the lines of ways to score bonus points with men of the male persuasion. We want to see every woman do these things, but understandably most women do not enjoy the same activities most males enjoy. Hence this list. It’s no big deal. Doing these things simply makes some women more awesome than other women.

Ladies, no one is asking you to cure cancer here. Just why not try doing one of these things once in awhile?

Play fantasy football

Most women have no idea why their husband/boyfriend is so upset on Sunday afternoons. Usually they don’t understand why Maurice Jones-Drew should have gotten more carries. Most women won’t understand the agony of a Brett Favre interception thrown within 5 seconds of the end of the game or the joy that a seemingly meaningless field goal can have on your life. We’d love to explain it to you if you want to play; otherwise it’s another Sunday of being confused why we hate our best friend for having an “Adrian Peterson” on his team. It’s not enough to know that Donovan McNabb is overrated. You should want to know why…

Dress in the slutty Halloween costume

We didn’t get all dressed up as Chewbacca so we could go home with lady Chewbacca. If women weren’t dressed as hot Little Bo Peeps, men would stay home and find ways to screw with the heads of neighborhood kids collecting candy. We secretly all want to go to a Halloween party to see the girl that can pull off the sexy nurse costume. Or the sluttiest version or Rainbow Bright possible. Slutty Strawberry Shortcake, slutty pirate, slutty Gumby and of course the highly underrated sexy cat/kitten/Catwoman outfit. And don’t get angry when every other guy you meet asks you to purr for him…

Play video games

You see each other from across the room…you quietly wander over…a slight breeze fills the room…your eyes lock…KILLSHOT! EAT IT, N00B!

Look, men of my age have a predisposition for video games. We grew up on Ninetendo and Mountain Dew. When a new system comes out, we’ll talk about it and when Madden comes out we pretend our spleen burst so we can take the day off from work. If we find a girl that ca hold her own in something other than Mario Cart. We want a girl who plays Madden (not beats us in Madden) and a girl that enjoys the poetic carnage of Grand Theft Auto. We want a girl who plays Halo!

Watch porn

That video with the woman dressed as a clown being assaulted by 15 midgets who jump out of the trunk of a 78‘ Datsun may be pushing it, but billions of dollars of porn is sold every year and it can’t be all men who are buying it. It’s not that we want to do all those things to you; it’s that we want to do most of those things to you. There is nothing a man wants to hear more while watching adult entertainment than “ Hey, WE should try that…” (Bonus if it’s a scene with two or more ladies.) “Sure honey, I’ll get fifteen feet of bungee chord and a bucket of ice! You find the cheerleader outfit, billy goat and butter churner!”

Have a sense of humor

“I just want a guy with a sense of humor…”

Women can sometimes say this to look less shallow in a crowd of people; men say it because they like a girl who will actually laugh at his sometimes ridiculous antics. I’m not talking about laughing hysterically about every fart or fart joke you hear (we will do that for you), but as you well know, most men are morons. Much like a 5 year old on a diving board–we purposely do stupid things sometimes just to see if you’re still paying attention. Hello? Are you still reading this? I’m writing this to make you laugh, Sara!! Sometimes you can get mad and yell when we deserve it, but most of the time we just want you to laugh with us…even when we are intentionally being stupid. Life is too short to date someone who doesn’t fully appreciate your act.

Don’t take him shoe shopping

Look ladies, men don’t like shoe shopping. Let me rephrase that–straight men don’t like shoe shopping. Most would rather be bludgeoned to death with their own pair of Adidas. Look, it’s not that we don’t like spending time with you; we just don’t feel comfortable in a women’s shoe store. I blame Al Bundy, but it’s just a fact of life. We’ll be at the food court at Sbarro. Come get us when it’s time to go to Victoria’s Secret.

Stop asking questions you don’t really want the answer to

Do we think your mother is being unreasonable? Can we stay sober watching football with your friends? Do those pants make you look fat? You already know the answer. We love you, we really do, but trying to test our love for you while reaffirming your self esteem by asking questions you already know the answers to is both annoying and terrifying. I mean, we always know the answer, but it’s difficult to always judge giving you the answer you actually want to hear.

Don’t be “That Girl” when we go out on New Years, St. Patrick’s Day, etc.

In every group of at least five females there is always one. You know she is “the one” immediately after seeing her. Jagerbombing it up at 6 pm while everyone else is eating dinner. Then a few hours later she has to be dragged out of a club while projectile vomiting onto everyone and everything in her path while screaming “I’m not that drunk. I just need to sit down for a second. I‘m gonna call my ex-boyfriend.” Yeah, she’s great isn’t she? Men love to have fun with a girl who can hold her liquor and have a good time while doing so, but just don’t be that girl. Please?

And a tip for the guys: If you have found a girl that does all of these things–MARRY HER! She don’t mean a thing if she ain’t got that bling. Come on guy, you’re just being dumb now. Better lock it up!

Okay so after poking around the internet, making phone calls to national headquarters, posing as a simple fashion-crazed guy, calling in personal favors and yes, even calling our friendly neighbors across the pond in the UK, I’ve got the ultimate list of up and coming men’s designers and fashion labels ]]>

Okay so after poking around the internet, making phone calls to national headquarters, posing as a simple fashion-crazed guy, calling in personal favors and yes, even calling our friendly neighbors across the pond in the UK, I’ve got the ultimate list of up and coming men’s designers and fashion labels you can’t live without. The following list is comprised of clothes you’ll find yourselves putting on Christmas lists and spending your paychecks on as soon as you can.

Recession got you down? Do you feel like you should be in a receiving line waiting for free coffee and a sandwich? Well, first of all experts are saying this feeling won’t last forever; second of all, you don’t have to spend a lot of money to look and feel ]]>

Recession got you down? Do you feel like you should be in a receiving line waiting for free coffee and a sandwich? Well, first of all experts are saying this feeling won’t last forever; second of all, you don’t have to spend a lot of money to look and feel your best during these grueling times.

Have a city soiree coming up? How about that big anniversary? With events and commitments, along comes breaking out that wallet of yours to buy some new slacks and tie, right? Fear not, because we are going to offer tips on how to turn your current wardrobe into an entirely new one, and where to “splurge” on sale items right at your local mall or shopping center.

Let’s start with looking your absolute best, shall we? If you have an old tuxedo lying around, collecting dust since the day you put it in your attic after your wedding, now’s the time to break that puppy out. Having this priceless gem in your possession saves you BIG money and it’s actually quite versatile. If the tux doesn’t fit perfectly, it’s also quite inexpensive to get it tailored … just check out some results on Yahoo! answers.

Let’s start with the tux jacket; if you pair this part up with a vintage screen printed t-shirt (i.e. from Old Navy or even from Urban Outfitters), a boot cut or straight legged jeans, chucks, and a nice belt, you are ready for a night out on the town. Whether it be for palling around with your old college buddies or taking your lady to a fancy lounge downtown, you’re going to look smokin’.

Now it is time for the pants. The pants of a tuxedo are a little funky, only because they have that stripe down the sides; don’t worry about this! In this day and age, especially if you live in an urban setting, funky is in … just let a little piece of your freak flag fly, brother. This part can be paired up with a solid colored button down shirt, and a simple tie. Add some black dress shoes or even a black chuck, a black belt, and you’re ready for a business meeting or your sister’s wedding. Hot.

Last but not least, if your tuxedo comes with a vest, that’s the most convenient piece of all! A vest can be worn with a polo shirt and jeans, a button down and jeans, or even a screen printed t-shirt and jeans. Flop on some designer-esque trainers (as the British call them), add a vintage pocket watch, and you can do no wrong. You’re the epitome of cool.

Now let’s discuss where to find some sales and save you some cash. Not to mention, you’ll be on your wife’s good side by not blowing through that paycheck of yours. If you are looking for seasonal sales, stores like the Gap and Old Navy are the perfect places to start your search.

Once you have browsed around for seasonal items, you can then move on to off-price department stores such as Loehmann’s, Kohls, Target, and Century 21. One other place you may not have bothered to look at in the past (especially for those screen printed t-shirts) for one reason or another is Five Below; this hidden gem offers everything from the ever-popular skull design to quirky sayings like “True Gamer.” Honestly, can you not not afford to pick up several tees at $5.00 a pop?

And last but not least, you mustn’t forget to hit up such websites as retailmenot.com, deallocker.com, and freemania.net for printable coupons and savings you didn’t think were imaginable. You’re the master of your recessionator self.

If you follow these tips, you’ll be okay … trust us. Don’t be afraid to be a semi-cheapskate, because the moral of the story is, is that times are still tough. They’re tough but you’ll pull through looking your very best the entire time and nobody will know the difference.