After the Christmas Underwear Bomber, I thought we couldn’t really get much further down the “private parts potentially exploding” food chain. Welp, scratch that…a new report from Britain’s intelligence division says there might be a wave of breast implant bombers coming.

Agents for Britain’s MI5 intelligence ]]>

After the Christmas Underwear Bomber, I thought we couldn’t really get much further down the “private parts potentially exploding” food chain. Welp, scratch that…a new report from Britain’s intelligence division says there might be a wave of breast implant bombers coming.

Agents for Britain’s MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain’s leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin.

Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.

“Properly inserted the implant would be virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines. You would need to subject a suspect to a sophisticated X-ray. Given that the explosive would be inserted in a sealed plastic sachet, and would be a small amount, would make it all the more impossible to spot it with the usual body scanner.”

So at first blush, it seems like this is a real advancement for Middle Eastern women, finally rising to some modicum of responsibility and breaking through the terrorism glass ceiling. But then again, when you realize that women are often beaten with sticks or stoned to death in the middle of town square for showing some of their delicious ankles to a stranger by mistake, it doesn’t seem like much of an upward movement to graduate to having a boob blown off after eating a freeze-dried chicken and stuffing dish that tastes like an uncooked aborted fetus. But hey, it’s something, right?

[WorldNetDaily]

Jews are known as a fairly respectful people. But prepare to have your perception shattered, as seen through the eyes of ABC Australia’s Middle East correspondent Anne Barker and her assault at the hand of Orthodox Jews.

I suddenly found myself in the thick of the protest – in the ]]>

Jews are known as a fairly respectful people. But prepare to have your perception shattered, as seen through the eyes of ABC Australia’s Middle East correspondent Anne Barker and her assault at the hand of Orthodox Jews.

I suddenly found myself in the thick of the protest – in the midst of hundreds of ultra-Orthodox Jews in their long coats and sable-fur hats.

Suddenly the crowd turned on me, screaming in my face. Dozens of angry men began spitting on me.

I found myself herded against a brick wall as they kept on spitting – on my face, my hair, my clothes, my arms.

It was like rain, coming at me from all directions – hitting my recorder, my bag, my shoes, even my glasses.

Big gobs of spit landed on me like heavy raindrops. I could even smell it as it fell on my face.

Somewhere behind me – I didn’t see him – a man on a stairway either kicked me in the head or knocked something heavy against me.

[via]

Reportedly, a major part of the report which President Barack Obama is attempting to avoid releasing to the public includes graphic photos of Iraqi prisoners being tortured, raped, and sexually abused. For more sexiness, read on.

The images are among photographs included in a 2004 report ]]>

Reportedly, a major part of the report which President Barack Obama is attempting to avoid releasing to the public includes graphic photos of Iraqi prisoners being tortured, raped, and sexually abused. For more sexiness, read on.

The images are among photographs included in a 2004 report into prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib prison conducted by U.S. Major General Antonio Taguba.

Taguba included allegations of rape and sexual abuse in his report, and on Wednesday he confirmed to the Daily Telegraph that images supporting those allegations were also in the file.

“These pictures show torture, abuse, rape and every indecency,” Taguba, who retired in January 2007, was quoted as saying in the paper.

He said he supported Obama’s decision not to release them, even though Obama had previously pledged to disclose all images relating to abuses at Abu Ghraib and other U.S.-run prisons in Iraq.

“I am not sure what purpose their release would serve other than a legal one,” Taguba said. “The sequence would be to imperil our troops, the only protectors of our foreign policy, when we most need them, and British troops who are trying to build security in Afghanistan.

“The mere depiction of these pictures is horrendous enough, take my word for it.”

Just terrible stuff. I could get wanting to torture people for information, even though most of you people don’t agree with me. But rape? That’s just unnecessary. And gay. Unless it were a female soldier. Then that’d be kind of hot. But the real question is…is she doing it for our country? Or doing it for herself?

Fortunately, my crack reporting skills were able to get this photo of the torture of Iraqi prisoners EXCLUSIVE to this site. Now I should warn you that the image below is graphic and is not recommended for minors.

Well, hrm, that doesn’t look so bad. The candles imply a degree of sensuality that the liberal, anti-prison-rape media won’t report on. Well then. Carry on, soldiers.

[story via, genuine artistry by me]

I’m so sick of the swine flu but the headline on this article brought joy to my cold, foreigner-hating heart.

Afghanistan’s only known pig has been locked in a room, away from visitors to Kabul zoo where it normally grazes beside deer and goats, because people ]]>

I’m so sick of the swine flu but the headline on this article brought joy to my cold, foreigner-hating heart.

Afghanistan’s only known pig has been locked in a room, away from visitors to Kabul zoo where it normally grazes beside deer and goats, because people are worried it could infect them with the virus popularly known as swine flu.

The pig is a curiosity in Muslim Afghanistan, where pork and pig products are illegal because they are considered irreligious, and has been in quarantine since Sunday after visitors expressed alarm it could spread the new flu strain.

“For now the pig is under quarantine, we built it a room because of swine influenza,” Aziz Gul Saqib, director of Kabul Zoo, told Reuters. “We’ve done this because people are worried about getting the flu.”

That poor lonely pig. Could you imagine being the only one of anything in an entire country? I feel awkward when I’m the only white guy at a hip hop club, but if I were the only one in an entire nation I’d imagine that’d be a sad isolated feeling. But then if you’re the pig and you leave this country, you’ll go somewhere else and they’ll be like, “Hey pig, come with your other pig friends!” and you’ll go, “Oh boy, more pigs!” Then…boom! Bacon. And then people are always comparing ugly women to you. So other than the whole rolling around in your crap thing, being a pig seems pretty depressing. Fuck if I were them, I’d be coughing all over anyone who came near me. Biological warfare is the only way to preserve a shred of their dignity.

[via]

Saudi Arabia had a rare showing of logic in the case of women’s (girls’?) rights by allowing an 8 year-old girl a divorce from her 47 year-old husband who didn’t want to see her go

“And then he said, ‘No, that’s my CAMEL!’”

A court in ]]>

Saudi Arabia had a rare showing of logic in the case of women’s (girls’?) rights by allowing an 8 year-old girl a divorce from her 47 year-old husband who didn’t want to see her go

“And then he said, ‘No, that’s my CAMEL!’”

A court in Saudi Arabia has granted an 8-year-old girl a divorce from her 47-year-old husband, after twice denying the divorce request previously, local media reported Thursday.

The marriage sparked condemnations around the world from human rights groups and U.S. and other government officials when it first came to light in December.

Local media, which is highly regulated by the Saudi government, reported that the court in the city of Onaiza approved the divorce decree Thursday, and the divorce is final.

A source at the court told the Saudi daily newspaper Al-Watan that the divorce “came after a series of pleas made by a number of officials in the region to the husband.”

The issue of child marriage has been a hot-button topic in the deeply conservative Saudi kingdom recently. While rights groups have petitioned the government for laws to protect children from such marriages, the kingdom’s top cleric has said that it’s OK for girls as young as 10 to wed.

“It is incorrect to say that it’s not permitted to marry off girls who are 15 and younger,” Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Sheikh, the kingdom’s grand mufti, said in January, according to the regional Al-Hayat newspaper. “A girl aged 10 or 12 can be married. Those who think she’s too young are wrong, and they are being unfair to her.”

Good to see that some Saudi men are still fighting the good fight. Though, in fairness, he’s saying girls age 10 can marry. This girl is a mere TWENTY PERCENT younger than that. Plus he’s right, it’s unfair to the girl. What prepubescent girl hasn’t come of age mentally and thought, “One day, I hope to have a sweaty 50 year-old man draping his hummus-smelling balls on my chin. And by one day, I mean like, next Thursday.”

When reached for comment, the 8 year-old girl said, “Where’s my mommy? Can I do fingerpainting now?” So brave and mature in the face of such a tumultuous time.

[via]

Want to learn something nifty about another culture? Check this out…the first divorce in Saudi Arabia orchestrated by text message.

A Saudi man has divorced his wife by text message, a newspaper said on Thursday.

The man was in Iraq when he sent the SMS informing her she was no ]]>

Want to learn something nifty about another culture? Check this out…the first divorce in Saudi Arabia orchestrated by text message.

A Saudi man has divorced his wife by text message, a newspaper said on Thursday.

The man was in Iraq when he sent the SMS informing her she was no longer his spouse. He followed up with a telephone call to two of his relatives, the daily Arab News reported.

A court in the Red Sea city of Jeddah finalised the split — the first known divorce in Saudi Arabia by text message — after summoning the two relatives to check they had received word of the husband’s intention, the paper said.

Saudi Arabia practises a strict form of Islamic Sharia law, and clerics preside over Sharia courts as judges. Under the law a man can divorce his wife by saying “I divorce you” three times.

[source]

Now here’s a fun little story…some security officers in an Israeli airport made a black guy dance before he could come into the country. Sounds like those Israelis know how to get down!

Israeli airport security officers made an African American member of ]]>

Now here’s a fun little story…some security officers in an Israeli airport made a black guy dance before he could come into the country. Sounds like those Israelis know how to get down!

Israeli airport security officers made an African American member of the New York-based Alvin Ailey dance troupe perform steps for them before letting him enter the country, the group said on Tuesday.

The group said airport officials had provided no explanation about the treatment of Abdur-Rahim Jackson, who has a Muslim father but is engaged to a fellow dancer who is Jewish with a large family in Israel.

Jackson was pulled aside from the rest of the troupe on arrival at Israel’s Ben Gurion airport and taken to a room where he was questioned by the security officers, said a spokesman for the group.

“They asked him who he was and what he does and also about his name. He showed them the group’s program with his picture and said he was a dancer,” the spokesman said.

“The officers then told him, ‘If you are a dancer, then dance’, so he showed them some dance moves.”

The spokesman said Jackson was no stranger to this kind behavior because he had been asked to do the same during a visit to the Dominican Republic.

Jackson had no problem with the questioning but was “deeply saddened” by the demand for him dance, said the spokesman.

That’s Abdur-Rahim Jackson pictured above. Based upon that appearance, he’s fortunate that all they made him do was dance. He’s fortunate he didn’t get coerced into deep throating a cock that smells like feta cheese (lolcuzpeoplefromthedesertsaredirty).

All this does is remind me of how I wish I had one of my previous lives back in the Old West. I’d have been a sheriff shooting at everyone’s feet and telling them to dance. Then one day, some stranger would have come into town and said he needed to clean it up because the law wasn’t doing its job. That hurt me, Tex. I have feelings too.

I like camels and I like babies (not like that) so imagine how excited I am for Saudi Arabia that a marriage official says it’s totally cool to marry a 1 year-old!

Saudi marriage officiant Dr. Ahmad al-Mu’bi told Lebanese television viewers last ]]>

I like camels and I like babies (not like that) so imagine how excited I am for Saudi Arabia that a marriage official says it’s totally cool to marry a 1 year-old!

Saudi marriage officiant Dr. Ahmad al-Mu’bi told Lebanese television viewers last week that it’s permissible for girls as young as 1 to marry — as long as sex is postponed.

Al-Mu’bi’s remarkable comments also included an explanation that “there is no minimal age for entering marriage.”

“You can have a marriage contract even with a 1-year-old girl, not to mention a girl of 9, 7 or 8,” he said. “But is the girl ready for sex or not?” What is the appropriate age for sex for the first time? This varies according to environment and tradition,” al-Mu’bi said.

These Saudis are pretty freaking on the ball. Like they totally get that American society is moving in a direction that sexualizes teenagers so they twirl their big mustaches and go, “HA HA WE WILL SHOW AMERICAN PIGS AND MARRY OUR 1 YEAR-OLD GIRLS! THEN THEY WILL BE BIGGER THAN 600 HANNAH MONTANAS!”

My question is the dowry higher or lower with a 1 year-old? Because like it can go either way with them really. But you’re getting them really young so I guess there’s a lot of potential. I guess what I’m saying is that I want dowries in America. I don’t want to marry your ass for free. Not only that, but at a LOSS! I have to buy a ring and crap! What the f. Yeah, it’s great that I can get Diet Coke and whatever, but America sucks sometimes.