Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Did Miley Cyrus leak a naked sext of herself or was it stolen? Or is it all a complete and total hoax? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

— Speaking of girls being bad, there is an alleged “graphic video” of one Jenny on the Block that shows shows new Boys & Girls Club spokesperson Jennifer Lopez “without underwear” and with her “vagina in plain view.” So I guess now we should refer to her as Vay-J-Lo.

— Gossip Girl execs have told Taylor Momsen that they will not requiring her services for awhile. Excuse me while I laugh my freaking ass off.

— And if Taylor Momsen is considered a ridiculous diva, and she is, what exactly does that make Rachel Uchitel?

— Britney Spears’ boyfriend, Jason Trawick, hits her. Or not.

— Lindsay Lohan is seeking a restraining order against the paparazzi. Not just one photographer, the ENTIRE paparazzi. Good luck with that, LiLo.

— Angelina Jolie has managed to make Bosnian rape victims even sadder than they already were. A truly amazing feat.

— Here’s a shocker: Megan Fox being at little league baseball games increases the attendance at said games.

— I guess this qualifies as news: Christina Aguilera was sad about her divorce. So sad that Xtina’s already hooked up with a new fella.

— Mischa Barton says she’s not crazy. Like we’re supposed to believe anything a crazy person says.

— It’s official: Kim Kardashian will put her name next to any product — even toilets.

— Continuing his quest to bang every warm thing in Hollywood, John Mayer has his eye on Eva Longoria.

— Charlie Sheen is being sued by that hooker he kidnapped. That’s okay though, he is suing her right on back. Can someone please make a movie of his life already?

— Speaking of Chuck, his texts to the hooker are quite the read.

— John F. Kennedy assassin Lee Harvey Oswald’s coffin is up for auction. In case you were in the market for that sort of thing.

— And finally some nightmare fuel for you: Khloe Kardashian lost her virginity when she was 14.

This week’s sexy video comes to us from the fine folk over at FHM.com and features UK soap star Michelle Keegan. Michelle is famous (at least in my book) for being a smokin’ hot babe who is one of the rare women over there not to pose topless in a lad mag. That being said, this video puts her one very, very sexy step closer to that becoming a reality. Enjoy!

Check out more of Michelle Keegan or the lingerie buyer’s guide at FHM.com.

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

>>> Rachel Bilson will now NOT be marrying Hayden Christensen. Score one for us.

>>> Bill O’Reilly called Jennifer Aniston “destructive to our society.” Apparently he has seen her movies.

>>> Miley Cyrus is thinking about getting breast implants. She is going to be so much fun in her twenties.

>>> Rihanna got a new neck tattoo. And it’s grammatically incorrect. I’m sure no one will notice though. It’s only on HER NECK.

>>> Hayden Panettiere also got another tattoo. Let’s hope she spelled hers right… this time.

>>> Apparently Jennifer Lopez is NOT going to be a new judge on American Idol, Kara DioGuardi has no idea if she’ll be back, and Mariah Carey wants to be a judge. The longer this goes on, the less I care.

>>> Speaking of American Idol, Fantasia tried to off herself. She did it by overdosing on a combination of aspirin and a sleep aid. Somehow she failed.

>>> Brooklyn Decker think she’s fat. Seriously.

>>> Mike Tyson says his Hangover cameo was for drug money. Mike Tyson does drugs? I don’t know who to believe in anymore.

>>> Paris Hilton is being sued for $35 million by Hairtech International after failing to fulfill her duties as their spokesperson. Why do I feel that the company should get nothing? I mean, they hired Paris Hilton. Hello?

>>> Mischa Barton got high on a boat. Photographers were there.

>>> Julia Roberts is a Hindu now. In case you were wondering.

>>> Remember Amy Fisher, the Long Island Lolita? Officially a porn star now. Hard to believe, I know.

>>> In this week’s Lindsay Lohan news, it seems that while in jail LiLo went to the medical clinic several times a day where she would watch a private TV and use the phone (allegedly). Celebrities: Not like us!

>>> In other Lindsay Lohan news, her mom… yeah, not helping.

>>> In other jailbird news, Charlie Sheen celebrated his NOT GOING TO JAIL, by partying at the Playboy Mansion. Celebrities: Even more not like us!

>>> In this week’s Mel Gibson news, his father thinks the Pope is a homosexual. Mel is really just a chip off the ole block I now see.

>>> And finally, it seems that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush had a drunken fight a while back. It was so intense that bodyguards had to tear them apart from each other. Gimme $50 on Kim if it happens again.

This week’s video relates to one of the greatest posts I have ever done, Melissa Satta’s photos for Maxim Italy. It’s backstage video of the shoot and I guarantee it will get your juices flowing. That may have been a poor choice of words. Enjoy!

Fresh off her Oscar win, Sandra Bullock has essentially confirmed rumors (by moving out of her house) that her husband Jesse James cheated on her with someone named Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (pictured above). To top it off, apparently Jesse didn’t even wear underwear or condoms while he was cheating. I guess he no longer “has her back”. He did apologize though. In a public letter, like we all do, when we cheat on our women.

Speaking of having a bad week, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was charged with selling booze to minors during a party at her house that ended with the drunk driving death of a teenager. Wait, it gets better. “Snooki’s” mom was home during the party. And just think, without Jersey Shore, none of us would have known about this. Yes, I hate MTV even more now too.

A little while back Lindsay Lohan did a bunch of bragging about how she “saved children” in her visit to India. One problem there… India says she didn’t and now they want to ban Lindsay from the country. Oh well, been there, done that, right Lilo?

Like we didn’t see this one coming… Eliot Spitzer’s high-priced call girl Ashley Dupre landed the cover of the May issue of Playboy magazine. One problem though: while lying down surrounded by candles for some of the photos, several strands of Ashley’s hair caught fire and had to be promptly extinguished. Much like my enthusiasm for anything Playboy has done with their magazine lately (online it’s still cool though!).

Michael Jackson just signed a $200 million record deal. That’s right, the dead Michael Jackson. Sony Music Entertainment is the buyer. In other news, Latoya Jackson is still weird-looking.

Speaking of Michael Jackson, the syringe used in Michael Jackson’s death may be auctioned for $5 million. Yep. You read that right. The Jackson family is said to be furious that someone is trying to profit from the Jackson’s death. As opposed to like they did when he was alive.

Last week I told you about how Heidi Montag dumped her ‘husband’ Spencer Pratt as her manager. Now comes news that Spencer’s not even welcome on the show that made him ‘famous’, The Hills. Something about him allegedly threatening to kill a female producer. Oh boy, the downhill slide is just beginning for Spencer. This is going to be fun.

Speaking of having problems Lady Gaga appeared to be having some on stage during her performance of Bad Romance in New Zealand recently. Gaga walked around looking disoriented, lip-synched half the song, was barely able to move her hands and spent most of the song lying down on the floor. In other words, she was doing her impression of a Britney Spears performance.

Sandy Bullock isn’t the only with significant other issues, Kate Winslet and her husband Sam Mendes broke up, and their lawyers said the split was entirely amicable, natch. Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy are no more. A source told People magazine, “It wasn’t contentious. It had kind of just run its course … ” Much like Jamie’s career, it was bound to end sometime.

Getting shoved out of his TV dream job as Tonight Show host is going to make Conan O’Brien a movie star. Maybe. Early talks are underway to make a documentary our of his The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour. The folks at NBC just keep looking smarter and smarter.

Mischa Barton (you remember her, right?) is broke. Again. Mischa was so hungry when she went grocery shopping on Monday night that she dipped into the groceries she was waiting in line to purchase and started eating some cooked pasta. That’s not even the funny bad part. When she went to pay her credit card was declined. Doh! Back to the casting couch!

Is Germany short on hot celebrity babes? I only say that because their FHM calendar is filled with non-German women such as Lady Gaga, Mischa Barton, and Katy Perry. Not that I am complaining… Also included in their calendar are Andrea Kaiser, Fiona Erdmann, Eva Habermann, Nicole Scherzinger, Monica Ivancan, Eliza Dushku, Gina-Lisa Lohfink, Pixie Lott, and Romina Becks. I’ve heard of seven of the 12 ladies. How many do you recognize?

Otherwise, she looks like this. An no one needs to see that. Ever.

More Mischa Barton all prettied up here and here.

You can see more of Mischa Barton and the 100 sexiest women at FHM.com.

If you say yes, then there’s a slightly bigger chance you’ll see more of her in 2009. If not, it’s adios Mischa…

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